Turning Life Transitions Into Opportunities
/While change can be exciting, people rarely find it easy to move through change.
Some changes are choices we make. When they are inspired by feeling open and excited, you feel ready for the change.
We can also choose to make a change because we face challenging circumstances and evaluate that making that change is our wisest decision, even if unwanted.
At other times changes are imposed on us. While these often feel distressing, some can actually be a gift — even if only assessed that way in hindsight.
And when any change is underway at work, in the personal realm, or due to external conditions, there are easier and harder ways to move through change.
Choose the lens that will serve you best
When you are dealing with change of any kind you get to choose the way to view it. And you get to choose how to approach the process of navigating the change,
It’s easy to focus on what will be lost, and easy to understand why that is the usual response.
And even when you are excited to make a change — say a relocation to a new city to live with a new partner, or to start an exciting new job — you can find yourself thinking about good things that will be left behind.
It could be a friend you hang out with on weekends, or a favorite bookstore or cafe that feels like a second-home, or a view you won't get to see every day after you move.
And particularly when you face a change that is not your choice, you are likely to focus on what you will lose or miss.
And, it can be easier, even in worst-case situations.
There are nearly always possibilities for an upside to the change — but you won’t find them unless you look for them.
One of my clients had to move from a beloved apartment she’d been in for 20 years, when the building owner decided to convert the building to a new use. The thought of quickly finding a new place and dealing with a move was daunting.
After much sadness she chose to see it as an opportunity to find a home with more natural light — something she realized had been missing for years — and a small garden.
She also realized she would get to touch everything she owned and take only what she really loved. Selling and donating things that were not truly meaningful turned out to give her great satisfaction. It also made moving and setting up in her sunny new place much easier and more enjoyable.
And in a situation where a client lost her job in a merger, after processing her emotions (hurt, resentment, fear), she was able to step back and realize that she now had new possibilities to consider. Asking, "What do I do now?" she asked herself what she really wanted.
With clarity about new possibilities, she was able to take action that led her to a a satisfying outcome she might otherwise never have reached. She now looks back on that layoff with gratitude.
There’s a creative gift embedded in change
When you look at change as full of possibilities, you can find tremendous opportunities to be a creator.
Once you choose a new point of view and frame of mind, new possibilities — including new possibilities for creative thinking — open up!
Rather than doing things as you always have, or as others you know have dealt with similar situations, you get to be curious and inventive.
• Ask yourself: Might there be other ways to move ahead or resolve this problem?
(Truth: other approaches are nearly always possible!)
• Look for new directions that will bring you joy and satisfaction. (Consider: there may be something great waiting for you that you never imagined before.)
• Think of who else to turn to, to think creatively with you.
(Suggestion: think of optimists, creative problem solvers, people who are fun to "what-if" with. And consider having a coach to support you throughout your transition.)
The more you activate creative thinking, the more energetic you will feel as you envision all the ways to make the most of every possibility, no matter what shows up for you.
When you remember that you are filled with creative power, you’ll be unstoppable.
If you have a story about how you navigated change and thrived, email me and share it!