Embrace Self-Love: You Deserve Better Care

Selfish.

It’s a characteristic that most of us dislike in others, and certainly one we want to personally avoid.

Sadly, putting yourself first is something that feels selfish to many women.

Our culture sends us mixed messages — while it sometimes urges self-indulgence, the messages we get frequently normalize, and even glorify, self-sacrifice.

Putting your wellbeing first is not selfish!

I invite you to think about taking care of your body and your spirit as being a key to being your best.

Bringing this focus to your life is a meaningful way to love yourself.

It’s also the foundation for loving others and being your best at everything you care about!

Attending to your physical and spiritual needs supports you to have your biggest impact in everything you do.

Who doesn’t want that?

What loving self-care looks like

A woman who nourishes herself with care is rested and strong.

A woman who fuels her spirit with things that bring her joy feels vibrant and shines brightly.

I believe that that woman is anything but selfish.

She is generous and loving to herself, and is able to have a big impact — that in turn makes the world a better place.

Easy ways to embrace self-love

If you are inspired to make space and time for more self-care, and yet it feels a bit hard to know where or how to begin, start by embracing you worthiness of exquisite care.

1. Get comfortable about deserving.

You might make a brief entry in a journal each morning. Remind yourself to love yourself, and list a few ways you can do that in the day ahead!

Next quickly list a few ways you are great — because all of us are! — and let that sink in.

Last, remind yourself that you deserve to have a day that does not exhaust you.

Then bring the upbeat energy into your day!

2. Choose something small and specific to do differently.

Think of a specific small thing to do to take good care of yourself each morning. Choose something that will bring you joy, peace, satisfaction, or all of those!

Maybe you will eat slowly at lunch instead of rushing.

Maybe you’ll take a short walk for fresh air and quiet.

Maybe you will call someone dear to you for the first time in a while.

3. Practice, practice, practice!

As you cultivate a mindset of deservingness, and do small things that are kind and loving to yourself, you will soon notice that it is easier to create opportunities for gentle, loving ways to do more things to support both your body and your spirit.

The more you get in touch with what will be the most nourishing for you — and what you most want for yourself — and then bring those things into your life (even in very small ways!) the happier and more energetic you will feel.

As you inspire yourself, you’ll inspire others!

When you push yourself when you are depleted, you cheat yourself and others.

You may have heard the saying that you cannot pour from an empty cup. I just heard a new version of that concept from a dear friend: if you bathe in a tub with two inches of cold water, you cannot expect to be or do your best.

I hope you feel inspired to shift into a better way to live.

The “icing on the cake” of cultivating rich self-love and practicing meaningful self-care is that you will show up in the world feeling great.

You will feel creative power course through you. You will shine with palpable energy that others will feel. And you will inspire people around you in ways you may never even realize.

As more and more women live a fully fueled creative life, our collective impact will make the world a better place.

Let’s do this together!

Simple Tools to Reclaim Your Energy

It’s always a joy to speak to audiences of great women — women who are committed to doing important work in the world and show up as their best selves — as I did last week in a program I led for women working in healthcare in Sydney Australia.

In addition to their efforts at work, they carry the loads of family responsibilities, volunteering, getting new certifications, sometimes caring for aging relatives.

Maybe you can relate to the feelings of overwhelm that were shared in this session, as they so often are when I speak.

When I guided the attendees through a Discovery Dozen™ exercise (which you will be familiar with if you have a copy of my book), things women shared that they yearned for in order to take better care of their bodies and their spirits, included:

• focused, quality time with their children

• time to spend in nature, to swim, to exercise 

• more confidence, belief and trust in themselves

• the ability to set boundaries with ease

• being kinder to themselves

• booking and planning time away

• more time to have fun with their pets

Being able to connect to deep desires like these is a key first step to bringing positive change into your life.

So, here’s a question for you:

What things would make a difference in your wellbeing each day? 

I invite you to sit with the question and see what shows up.

(And if you want to use a Discovery Dozen to explore that question, reach out and I will provide a prompt and explain how to use this amazing tool.)

When I speak to audiences, coach women, lead retreats, and offer programs for organizations to support the great women in their companies so that they thrive, my focus is always on offering small yet power steps that make a significant difference — that help women access and amplify the creative power they possess.

I have many tools and approaches that help women to connect to and unleash their abundant creative power, so that they create the truly fulfilling lives they yearn for. 

Let’s connect and talk about the changes that will be transformative for you to make.

We can also talk about ways I can help you build a culture where the women in your organization are supported to make their biggest, best contributions, while living rich satisfying lives.

Book time with me here.

I look forward to a great conversation.

Empower your well-being

Attendees of the conference wrote the ways they wanted to Live Big, and adorned small trees on the book table

It was a great pleasure (and a lot of fun!), to speak at the R.I.S.E. Women’s Leadership Conference in Providence Rhode Island last week.

1200 great women attended the dynamic 1-day conference to network, focus on personal development, and hear speakers and panelists address themes on gender and racial inequity, how to navigate challenging dynamics in the workplace, cultivating resilience, and ways to lead a healthy, happy life when work and life feel overwhelming.

In addition to my contributions to the panel discussion on how to live your best life (to a standing-room-only audience!) it was a joy to be among the speakers who are authors. It was great to sign books for attendees.

I met amazing women all day and engaged in terrific conversations from beginning to end.

Looking for great ideas to live happier?

Consider adopting some of the ideas that were shared in the panel discussion I was a part of:

⭐ Self-care is not a nice-to-have, it is crucial. As fellow-panelist and health coach Kristen Reed suggested, you can “snack” on small 5-minute or 10-minute practices during the day when it is not possible to devote 30 or 60 minutes to taking care of your health. Pause and breathe, get up, move and stretch for a few minutes, have some healthy snacks on hand. These count!

⭐ Leslie Ford, of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, shared that her favorite way to start the day is to go out for a run, but that sometimes she settles for a 10-minute jog on a treadmill mid-morning. For her, some running each day is non-negotiable so she always finds a way. And, she is bringing programs into companies to help employers better support working moms.

⭐ Panel moderator Precious Clouthier said that she recently blocked off Fridays on her calendar. While she sometimes chooses to add an appointment on a Friday, making that a day she is intentional about, and that feels spacious, has helped her to run her coaching business and raise her twin 6-year-old boys without feeling frazzled.

⭐ Among the ideas I shared, were to start your day with some type of morning practice that will ground you, set you up with the most positive frame of mind possible, and support you to focus with clear intention throughout your day. (You can check out what I wrote on this topic last spring.)

I also led the audience in practicing some easy ways to take momentary pauses in the midst of a hectic day, with box breathing and “butterfly tapping.” These are excellent ways to come back to the present when you feel frazzled and calm your nervous system when you you feel anxious. (I’d be glad to guide you through these techniques. Email me and we can hop on a quick call.)

And, of course, I spoke about how to bring a creative mindset to everything you do. You will have more agency in your life and be able to move ahead in the best ways, no matter what comes at you.

I also spoke about how activating creative pursuits (of any kind that you enjoy) will connect you to your heart and open up your spirit.

When you aim to add delight by doing something expressive and fun (even if it's to simply doodle for a few minutes with colored pens), even the toughest days are brighter.

Adopt one small idea now

It can feel exciting to consider making lots of changes at once. The truth is that choosing a single idea to be conscious of is the way to test and find a practice that will have a meaningful impact for you. Then you can stick with it.

Why not choose one now and see how it works for you? Then return to other ideas that sparked your interest and give another a try. It won’t be long before you find a small set of new approaches that are ideal for you.

Here are some photos captured at the wonderful day at the R.I.S.E. Women’s Leadership Conference. The little trees with lights were filled with cards where women wrote down how they want to live big.

The rich connection between creativity and wellness

I was delighted to be interviewed by Mari Ryan, whose company Advancing Wellness is a leader in establishing wellness programs that positively impact the lives of individuals and the companies in which they work.

When Mari and I connected last summer, I told her how interested I am in the intersection of creativity and wellness. She was surprised, and asked me to share my thinking with her. That conversation led Mari to asking me to be interviewed as part of Advancing Wellness's series of Expert Interviews.

It was a pleasure to speak with Mari for her series. Check out the conversation, and share your thoughts and comments below.