The Magic of Being Fully Present

How often do you intentionally slow down and bring your full attention to the present moment?

As much as I appreciate the importance and benefits of being fully present (which I devoted an entire chapter to in my book!), I tend to move through my busy days thinking about what has happened (in the immediate past moments as well as events long past), or anticipating what is likely to happen based on decisions and actions I am anticipating or taking. 

I rarely slow down to be fully present.

I typically move from one thing to the next, especially when my calendar is crowded.

Rather than pausing to focus on what I just experienced or what is happening right now, I try to remind myself to get curious and consider what I can — or want to — create that is aligned and best for me as a next step, 

Because over time I have realized that each time I fail to catch myself when falling into the looking back/looking ahead trap, I short-change myself.

The lesson that hit home for me

Two weeks ago I wrote to you on the first full day of an annual writing retreat I have gifted myself for 3 years. Now that I’ve been home I can see even more clearly how meaningful that time was for me.

While I dared to venture into being a painter in 2015, I never envisioned myself also being a writer. (Other than penning my posts each week, I’d never thought to write stories, or a memoir, or poems.)

Writing seemed mysterious, and something other people did.

Then I was invited to listen to women writers read portions of their work, and I met the teacher who guided them. I was impressed, but still did not think of exploring what writing could mean for me.

In December 2023 I was invited to a weekend writing retreat that was offered in Boston, and I decided to step out of my comfort zone and see how it felt to write from the deep voice — as my teacher, Leslie Berliant calls the approach she teaches.

Trusting myself to explore something new turned out to be pivotal in my life. I had a new outlet for expression that has been enormously rewarding.

And one huge benefit I did not notice at the start is that writing slows me down.

The gift of going slow

Writing or painting may not be creative pursuits that you love (though maybe if you try them you will discover that one or both of those ways to connect to your heart and create is exciting).

Maybe you love to be outside and tend your garden.

Maybe you love to create with ingredients in your kitchen.

Maybe you love doing tactile things with your hands, or dreaming up grand initiatives to lead.

Any way that you choose to create with intention will slow you down — whether your ideal pace is shorter sprints or devoting extended time periodically.

Going slow when you get fully absorbed in something that brings you satisfaction, allows you to express yourself, opens your heart, and will positively impact everything else in your life.

Your observations will be keener.

Your intuition will be easier to access.

Your lit up energy will be a magnet for other people. 

Try slowing down to create today

I invite you to test my theory for yourself.

Start with something that appeals to you (maybe pull out colored pencils and an adult coloring book, or do a few pages of doodles) and devote a little piece of your day to it.

Repeat — creating that way or trying other ways to create — in the week ahead.

Take note of how you feel when you slow down and allow yourself to get absorbed in something that brings you pleasure. And how slowing down impacts the other things you focus on in your life.

I’d love to hear about what you experience. Email me and let me know.

How to Keep Worry from Hijacking Your Focus

A question has been coming up in many of my conversations these days (when I am coaching, networking, and in social settings). It’s one that I find myself dealing with, too, in the current chaotic external environment.

How to manage distraction, distress and worry?

I have thought a lot (as you may have) about how to keep significant concerns from hijacking my attention, dimming my spirit, and hampering my ability to do the important work I am committed to.

To support women to show up fully and boldly, so they can do their important work in the world and live without stress or overwhelm, I’ve been exploring simple and meaningful ways to stand steady. 

I believe that we can all tap and ignite the creative power we possess to live our best lives with grace, and I’m happy to share what has worked well for me.

Consider new ways to start your day

I used to hear my alarm, hop out of bed, turn on the news as I quickly washed and dressed, and rush through breakfast before beginning to work. (Back when my morning also included getting children off to school and commuting to an office, it was even more hectic.)

Year after year went by that way, until I began to consider that there might be a better way to set myself up for a great day.

In shaping new ways to start my day, and refining them over time, I’ve experienced many benefits.

I hope the practices I use now to ground and center myself will inspire you to start your day with intention.

Here are 3 approaches to explore

These practices can help you set a positive mindset and get clear about how you want to focus your attention for the day ahead.

1. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier, then set aside the first 10 minutes of your morning for yourself.

By choosing to have 10 sweet minutes of quiet (or more if you want!), you can choose what to do with that piece of quiet time.

While 10 minutes may not sound like much, using that time in a meaningful way that supports your wellbeing can significantly impact how you will feel and operate the rest of the day.

2. Create your 10-minute oasis.

Your “me time” can be structured in a variety of ways. You get to choose what will be the best for you.

Consider these favorites of mine, and experiment until you find what works best for you.

• Spend 5 minutes with a journal

Keep a small journal and pen by your bedside. As soon as your alarm sounds and you sit up, start writing. Aim for one page — which will likely take 5 minutes to fill.

Write about how you feel. Include any concerns you may have carried over from the day before, or from a disturbing dream, or that you have about the day ahead.

Next, write down how you want to feel today. You might note things like feeling positive, trusting, strong, loving, well-supported, creative, decisive, etc.

End by expressing gratitude (go for at least 3 things).

• Move your body

My morning routine includes some stretching after I get out of bed. (I do a longer workout and take yoga classes at other times.)

You might have weights handy and do some reps, or dancing might be your jam. By all means run or walk outside if you love that and are able to make time for it.

The idea is to move intentionally.

3.  Create a soundtrack for your day.

I have several vibes I choose from to help me feel great as I get ready for my day. Some are mellow, some more upbeat, some have vocals and some are instrumental.

I listen to my chosen music as I wash, dress, eat breakfast and transition to working at my desk. I always find that the soundtrack I choose supports me to stay in a positive, centered frame of mind.

Let’s all create our best possible days

The energy you bring to your day impacts everything you do.

It also impacts the people around you.

We all know what it is like to be around people who are anxious, ill-tempered, or gruff, and how that impedes our ability to stay clear, positive and creative.

When you show up feeling grounded, positive, and able to create your best day with a clear head and and open heart, your energy will be felt by others and will positively influence them.

Imagine more of us contributing positive energy, and that energy spreading far and wide. The impact can be enormous.

Let’s do this together.

I am always happy to hear from you. Tell me what is keeping you from living the life you truly yearn for.

Simplify to Succeed: How Focus Unlocks Real Results

It’s easy for life to get complicated — I slip into that trap often!

So what can you do when you realize that things are overwhelmingly complex?

I have learned that when I slow down and look at things through a new lens, I am able to operate in a new way.

Adopting a few steps can make a world of difference for you, too, so that you will feel better and be more effective.

When you learn how to simplify and focus on distilling to the essence, you’ll reap huge benefits.

1. Begin with clarity 

Having clarity is powerful.

Take a beat and ask yourself: What is most important today?

This may be easy for you, or may it take time for you to bring a clear focus to each day. It will be worth the effort!

Make a daily practice of starting your morning with a thoughtful decision about one thing that will be your primary focus of the day. You might have a dedicated note pad ready to pick up each morning to write down that priority.

It is typical to think there must be 2, 3 or more things to put on that sheet, but do not include more than 3 things on any day!

Be sure you choose 1 clear focus to begin with, knowing it will help you get to numbers 2 and 3 more quickly (and feel better when you get to them!).

And stay alert to things (and people) that pull your attention into other directions.

You may find that you need to deliberately return to the focus you chose for your day multiple times. I promise it will be worth the effort.

2. Decide on the easiest place to start

Choose one simple thing that will be the most effective action to take to move your key priority forward.

And after you take that action, ask yourself this question again:

What one simple thing can I do next to move this forward?

Repeat as you go through your day.

3. Communicate clearly and simply

Focus on communicating with as much simplicity and clarity as possible.

Whether you write emails, meet with people, set agendas, speak to audiences, or plan presentations, keep your messages direct and clear. That will make it easier to communicate dynamically, too.

You will be better understood, you’ll get more buy-in, command more attention, and achieve your objectives with more ease.

And remember that you can be clear and commanding while using a tone that is truly authentic. Clear communication delivered authentically will naturally engage and influence people.

Cultivating a direct, simple and authentic way of communicating takes focus. With consistency and practice, it will become your natural way of operating.

Sustain your focus and thrive!

I hope that using these steps will have a positive impact on your day-to-day life.

There are, of course, other things that can help you keep focused and get the most important things done.

Delegating tasks is always a great idea, as is considering who you might turn to for help.

And you might consider coaching support, if the big picture question of what you want your life’s focus to be is something you’re thinking about, or to help you navigate day-to-day challenges.

You can schedule a chat with me here.

How to savor every day

Most of us focus on destinations, goals, and achievements.

What if you savored the journey?

What if you held the vision of that desired state and lived in each present moment?

This is why it’s great to focus on now

When your attention is fixed on a destination, you miss what is happening now — including new opportunities and great sensations.

When you live in the present, you appreciate all of your experiences as you move in the direction of your desired outcome.

What’s more, you can tune in to new possibilities and can gain fresh awareness of ways to support your goals.

And maybe best of all, you will have more fun!

Ready to give this new way of approaching your days a try?

How to stay in the present

It’s tempting to focus on the future. However, doing that often leads to thinking of a million what-ifs — which is not only stressful, it hijacks your attention and fragments your focus.

It’s also easy to look back and repeatedly rehash old experiences. While there are lessons to be learned from looking at the past, the rehashing usually hurts as you tend to focus on shortcomings and feelings of regret.

If you find yourself stuck in either of those states, try these ways to return to the present:

1. Be alert to your thoughts.

It can be helpful to jot notes about the times you fast-forward or dive back into examining past events.

Can you notice types of triggers that pull your attention away from what is happening now? Are there times of day, or specific people, or patterns you can become aware of?

Awareness can help you to avoid those situations — or spot them start early on. That's a great way to consciously bring your attention back to the present.

2. Observe what is happening now and create your response.  

Consider where you are and what’s going on around you. Choose the present as your focus, at least for a little while.

Think about where you have opportunities right now — like the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation, or to shift to a more positive approach, or to come up with a new idea.

Ask yourself if there might be a challenge to address that you may have been avoiding when you turned your attention to the future or the past..

Be thoughtful as you contemplate your options and make your best choices.

3. Appreciate and honor your emotions.

When you are present and feel excited and eager about what is happening, and all that is possible for you now, make the most of the energy. Let yourself fully enjoy what you are doing. Let that positive energy carry you!

If you find yourself feeling discomfort, or fear, or sadness, or stress, it may be tempting to try and ignore it.

A better approach is to let yourself feel the feelings for a little while, and then use those feelings as fuel for some type of creative expressions.

For some that's writing. For some it helps to dig in the dirt, or go for a run. Some people move their bodies to music, or hammer away in a workshop, or sing loudly in their car. (This may be a quick effort, or may need repeating until you feel the emotion has been released.)

Having expressed yourself to use your emotions, you are likely to feel lighter, ready to refocus on all the opportunities and possibilities in the present moment.

And speaking of opportunities, when you live in the present you will have many opportunities to appreciate yourself. Acknowledge yourself for each step you take, for noticing new possibilities and testing them, and for all of your progress (the small steps as well as bigger leaps).

Living in the present is a great way to Live Big.