Going quiet for a while — here's why

If you missed my email last week, I wrote about change — particularly change that is likely to occur, and possible to initiate, as we transition from the summer to fall. You can check it out here.

Now that Labor Day is behind us, most of us are fully experiencing a new pace, a more crowded calendar, new dynamics at home and work, and more.

How things are shifting for me.

The changes I am stepping into, that I promised to share with you when I wrote last week, have been taking shape for over the last two months.

I began to sense that in addition to the move I made in May to a new home, more and deeper change was calling me. 

What I realized.

One thing I have been craving is a new pace each day.

It was clear that having space to make art as a regular, significant part of my weekly rhythm (rather than something I squeezed in some weeks, and missed many other weeks) was going to be a major factor in the changes I wanted to make.

Another, equally intense desire came to light.

I felt the call to focus on helping even larger numbers of women to ignite their vast creative power, and sustain that energy in order to bring more of their brilliance into the world and live their most fulfilling lives. 

The changes I will make.

To have the broad impact I desire, I am shifting my primary focus to speaking and leading larger workshops.

Being on stages will enable me to reach and enrich more women, who can then model what they learn and experience — in both their work and their personal lives.

I will lead just two retreats a year: the L’Aventure Française retreat to Paris and the countryside of France in the fall, and a new late-winter retreat, Ignite!, in southern Maine.

I will privately coach only a small number of dynamic women who are committed to doing deep personal work, to resolve what limits them and fully step into their creative power.

The process I foresee.

All of these changes, particularly my expanded focus on speaking, will entail preparation. 

I am creating a laboratory for myself to explore ideas I have for expanding my processes, and to experiment with new approaches I can then share with the world.

I am also reaching out for support related to elevating my speaking work, getting more administrative and advanced technical help, and making major changes to my website.

What this means for us.

I will be stepping back for the next three months, as I make my new vision a reality.

I am putting my weekly emails and social media posts on pause (though I may well pop into your inbox from time to time, and you may come across occasional posts from me on LinkedIn and Instagram).

This will allow me space for what is ready to show up and become.

And that said, I am always happy to hear from you, to share any updates, ask questions, suggest collaboration, and simply be in touch.

One thing I know for sure is that we all have the capacity to expand our creative power and bring more of our genius into the world. I can’t wait!

What do you want to hold onto from summer?

I hope you had a great summer – with time to unwind, to play, to refuel.

As the calendar turns from August to September, many of us recall feeling excited about the start of a new school year. (I always looked forward to what could be lying ahead for me, and feel that anticipation each September. My husband, on the other hand, finds himself feeling apprehensive each year at this time.)

No matter what your natural response is to this change of season, making the shift to anything new is worth considering.

New rhythms, new patterns of daily life, and new schedules, even when welcome, always entail adjustments.

How do you want your September to look?

Rather than just clicking to the next week on your calendar and jumping into a more demanding schedule, consider these possibilities:

1. What might you hold onto that made your summer special?

What small thing that you indulged in over the summer can you build into your routine now?

Maybe you’ll create space for quiet daily walks like the ones that allowed you time to simply connect to the smell of the air and take in the sky, without having to rush to be someplace or do something.

You might plan for a morning walk once or twice a week, even if a shorter walk than you savored over the summer.

Or, you can choose another way to enjoy some unscripted, easy time for yourself, maybe in the evening if that will work best, so you are not “on” all day every day.

2. Is there something new you are ready for now?

The start of the new season may be the perfect time to start making a longed-for desire or dream a reality.

That could mean starting to explore possible ways to move ahead.

It might look like reaching out to someone to get their feedback or their take on your idea.

It could mean setting a boundary or two to preserve needed time, as well as space for your attention to be focused on the way forward.

3. Is there something you’ve been tolerating long enough?

Times of transition are excellent prompts to take stock and consider what’s working well and what less-than-desirable situation you may be tolerating. 

If something comes to mind that you recognize as a situation or dynamic or relationship you are no longer willing to tolerate, you get to change that.

The change may be easy to make, or might entail thoughtful planning. And it may require help.

The key is to make the decision and take a step forward.

When you keep in mind the outcome that will eliminate the negativity you have been tolerating, it will be easier to find a way to make the change.

Change requires willingness

Whether you want to make space in your life for a piece of what made you feel happy over the summer, or you want to consider moving something from a back burner to the front burner, or you feel it’s time to stop tolerating something so you feel more joy each day, or you have the desire to bring something else new into your life, you will be called to initiate a change — and often a sequence of changes.

The theory, the imagining the vision, is the easy part.

Taking action is not always as easy.

Start by focusing on why the change is meaningful to you. You might do some journaling about it, to make the outcome you envision vivid.

Once you plan a first step to take,

• Be willing to take a bold stand for what matters to you.

• Be willing to get support.

• Be willing to take imperfect action.

• Be willing to course-correct and continue when things do not go according to plan.

And be committed to staying the course.

That’s what creators do.

I’m making changes, too.

This fall, I will be making changes that I began contemplating at the start of the summer.

I have been holding a vision and laying the groundwork.

I will share the changes with you next week.

Until then, happy September. I would love to hear about how the start of this new season goes for you, and happy to chat with you about how you want to create meaningful change in your life.

Grab a time for us to talk.

The mental spreadsheet that never closes.

Something I learned from years of design work carries over to the retreats I lead. People rarely buy the thing you describe as your offer. They buy what the thing removes.

Here’s what I mean.

A woman considering an experience in France doesn’t lie awake thinking about museum tickets. She’s thinking about whether she can put down the mental spreadsheet she’s been carrying for a decade, and whether the person who’s been burdened by it is still there.

The mental spreadsheet

You know the one. Who needs what by when? Whose birthday is coming? Which prescription needs refilling, which form is overdue, which family member sounded off on the phone?

The spreadsheet never closes. It runs quietly during meetings, during dinner, during the movie you meant to enjoy.

The days you spend as part of the L’Aventure Française retreat, where there is no list that’s yours to manage, do something specific to a mind that hasn't stopped churning in years.

The first day or two often feels strange. By the third day, women start hearing thoughts that had been long been drowned out.

What comes back

One retreat participant told me she arrived with no clear path forward and left stronger in her decisions, and finally able to focus on taking care of herself without guilt.

Another woman said she’d been letting fear make her choices and came home listening to her own read on things instead.

That’s the return I care about.

Not simply enjoying a nice week, though it is that, but a different relationship with your own judgment that holds up once you’re back in at your desk and back in your kitchen.

The experience starts before you fly.

We have a private coaching session focused on your Enneagram style, plus group calls so you land already connected to the other women.

Six women come with me.

September 26 we meet in Paris and then travel to the countryside before flying home October 4.

Every detail is planned for you, so you can be fully present and cared for.

If you want to know whether this is your year, a short conversation is the fastest way to find out.

Schedule a time for us to talk.

Nobody is pretending it’s an easy year.

I’ve had a run of conversations lately that all sound alike. 

Women telling me they’re fine, mostly, and then admitting a minute later that they’re running on fumes and can’t tell whether the exhaustion is theirs or the world’s.

My husband and I have had our own version of this at the kitchen table. Real conversations about where we’d live, what we’d do, how much we’d want to hold on to. I didn’t expect these particular questions in my lifetime.

So I’m not pretending the ground is steady.

What I keep coming back to

When we shrink, nobody wins.

Not us, not the people who depend on us, not the wider world that needs whatever we’re each here to give.

The people I admire most right now are showing up in their fullest form. That takes fuel, and fuel is the thing most women I know have not made time to focus on.

Your relationship with yourself is where that starts.

Not as a nice idea, but as the practical source of the energy you hand out all day.

An example of what refueling looks like

At a past L’Aventure Française retreat, a remarkable woman decided it was time for her to experience the wonders of France — but she did not want to simply be a tourist.

She yearned for an experience with deep personal meaning and one that would have lasting impact.

After relishing the delights of our time in Paris, exploring off-the-beaten-track spots I love to share, we traveled to the gorgeous French countryside.

It was in the quiet natural beauty there, with time to share deeply, create joyfully, explore charming villages and take beautiful walks that deep clarity rose to the surface for her.

This what she said as she reflected  on what had changed for her:

“Before this retreat I let fear inform my decisions. Now I listen to my inner self to make better, more informed decisions.”

That’s the mechanism.

Not the flights or the food. It’s the absence of anything for you to manage, the space to experience fully and open your heart, and have the kinds of conversations that only open up when nobody is checking a phone. f

The ability to trust yourself as never before might show up for you, too.

Another woman returned from this retreat having released an old wound she’d carried for decades.

One had space to clearly realize the direction she want to set for her business.

One stepped into the courage to make a bold personal change she had been afraid to initiate for far too long.

What might show up for you if you gave yourself the space to be on this retreat?

How the retreat unfolds

We meet in Paris, stay in a stylish flat, and explore museums, neighborhoods and shops as we savor the food and ambience of Parisian life.

We then take a train to the southwest where we live in a gorgeous, private  retreat center surrounded by fabulous gardens in the countryside. This is where the pace slows way down.

Walks into the village, gathering from the gardens, making things with your hands, tasting the love in the food our hosts prepare for us, and shared, unhurried conversations.

Six women, September 26 through October 4.

And the experience begins before you pack, with a private coaching session and group calls so you arrive already knowing the circle.

If some part of you leaned toward this while reading, let’s talk. A short conversation tells us both whether the timing is right.

Schedule a call with me here.

Who Thrives at L’Aventure Française?

Let me be honest about who thrives when they choose to be a part of the L’Aventure Française retreat.

The first question is usually what the days hold.

Here’s the shape of it.

We begin in Paris, living together in a beautiful, comfortable flat. It’s situated in a great part of the city with easy access to several metro stations, and there are great bakeries and shops nearby.

We explore the city by metro and on foot. We visit museums — including some less familiar than the Louvre, and quite spectacular. We explore quiet corners and market streets most visitors never find. We wander varied neighborhoods, stop in amazing small shops, and eat beautifully.

Then we take the train south to Nouvelle-Aquitaine in central France, where we settle into a private retreat center in the country.

We live in a modern building that was transformed from an ancient structure. We enjoy our own open space for creating, with cozy sofas to curl up on for deep conversations. It has a cathedral ceiling and is flooded with light, and the lush landscape outside fills every window. Our comfy bedrooms and modern baths make it a delight to live there.

Our gracious hosts feed us meals in their charming country house down a path. The delectable local food is prepared with love you can taste. The gardens are exquisite and the surrounding villages invite long, unhurried walks.

A surprising aspect for women is how personal the experience is before we even leave home.

You and I meet one-on-one ahead of the trip, to explore your Enneagram, so that you arrive in France already grounded in who you are.

And, we all meet on group calls before arriving in Paris. There’s individual coaching in the country too, along with playful creative work that opens your heart in unexpected and delightful ways.

I arrange everything from the moment you land to the night before you fly home.

Your part is to show up and be present.

Can you envision what it would be like being part of this experience, and how much the adventure might impact your life?

I’d love to walk you through it all, answer your questions, and help you see what can be possible for you.

Schedule a call with me here.

Inside L’Aventure Française: What days in France look like.

When women hear about the L’Aventure Française retreat, the first question is usually what the days hold. Here’s the shape of it.

We begin in Paris, living together in a beautiful, comfortable flat.

We explore the city by metro and on foot, visit museums and the quiet corners most visitors never find. We wander varied neighborhoods and eat beautifully.

Then we take the train south to Nouvelle-Aquitaine in central France and settle into a private retreat center in the country. Our gracious hosts feed us meals prepared with love. The gardens are exquisite and the surrounding villages invite long, unhurried walks.

The piece that surprises people is how personal the experience is before we even leave home.

You and I meet one-on-one ahead of the trip, to explore your Enneagram, so you arrive already grounded in who you are. And, we all meet on group calls before arriving in Paris. There’s individual coaching in the country too, along with creative work that opens your heart in unexpected and delightful ways.

I arrange everything from the moment you land to the night before you fly home. Your part is to show up and be present.

I’d love to walk you through it all. Schedule a time with me here, and I’ll tell you everything.

France is calling — is this your year?

I’ve been wanting to share this invitation with you.

This fall, from September 26 to October 4, I’m leading a small group of women to France for the L’Aventure Française retreat.

And this is what will happen.

We spend our first days in Paris, living in a great flat together. We’ll be inspired by glorious art, savor fabulous food, and revel in the city’s particular magic. I’ll share special spots I’ve discovered living in Paris (restaurants, shops, neighborhoods) that most visitors would be unlikely to find. We will fill our hearts with inspiration.

Then we’ll take the train to a country retreat in the southwest, where the pace slows and the deeper insight settles in.

The Dordogne region is incredibly beautiful and our stay will be in an exquisite private retreat center, with gracious hosts whose amazing meals are prepared with love. We’ll create together, explore villages, and have deep conversations — where insights have shown up that have had tremendous impact for past retreat participants.

I’ve led this trip for two years and learned something each time.

This year I’ve made the retreat a little shorter, eight days instead of twelve, with a lower investment to match.

Several women told me they longed to come yet couldn’t be away so long, so I’ve kept everything that makes it rich and meaningful and made the days more compact.

My father was French, and I’ve been there countless times. Sharing what I love so much with a handful of remarkable women is one of my greatest joys.

If your heart just leaned toward this, let’s find out whether it’s your year. Book a time with me and I’ll tell you everything.

The rare gift of not having to decide.

Most women I know carry the mental load for everyone around them — the meals, the logistics, the endless small decisions that keep our worlds running. 

We're so used to it that we barely feel the weight anymore.

The consequences of chronic stress are real

When we are so accustomed to a level of stress that it feels normal, or unchangeable, we miss the realization that the ongoing pressure compounds and takes a toll.

It’s often not until the pressure eases that we even realize how heavy it felt, and how it hampered us.

Here’s an example of how one client came to see the toll of her overwrought life.

Feeling overwhelmed, she started by focusing on setting small boundaries to protect her time and energy.

This was new for her, so we looked for an opportunity for her to test a new different approach.

When a committee leader at work expected her to take on additional duties, as she had often said “yes” to in the past, she replied that she would get back to them.

By taking time to think before replying, she clearly determined that this request would entail time she needed to devote to other important work commitments, and would rob her of needed time for personal commitments, too. 

She practiced the way she would respond, as saying “no” felt uncomfortable. 

She then clearly and calmly stated that she had other commitments that precluded her from taking on more at this time.

She was relieved that, without drama, the leader went on to ask someone else.

This opening of a small bit of space, and feeling less pressured, helped her to gently set more boundaries.

And, she realized that the tension of doing too much had been contributing to grinding her teeth at night — something she had been suffering from for several years.

The pain of that chronic habit started to slowly subside, and she was also less irritable.

These benefits were clear signs that making space for her wellbeing mattered.

A sweet way to open space for yourself

One of the things I love about leading retreats is providing a very special way to lift weight off your shoulders.

My retreats are designed for you to have space and time that is clear, special, supportive.

Things are planned and beautiful.

The days have a gentle rhythm. You know where to be and when, and the rest of the time belongs to you.

That space opens your heart and brings insights into the light.

Women tell me afterward that they’d forgotten what it feels like to be cared for that way, to arrive somewhere with nothing to manage and finally hear themselves think.

You deserve that kind of ease far more often than you may allow yourself to have it.

If reading this made you exhale a little, that's worth listening to.

This is exactly the space I’ve built into L’Aventure Française — a week where nothing is yours to manage. The itinerary, the meals, the details, all handled, so your only job is to show up and be present.

If you've been carrying the load for everyone else for a while now, this might be the season to let something carry you. I’d love to have you there.  

The Multiplier Effect: How Self-Discovery Impacts Everyone You Love

I led a retreat last month, and I keep turning over something that I witnessed there.

When a woman gets clear about who she is and what she wants, the change rarely stops with her. It moves outward.

Incredible changes unfolded

Over the course of three days, where women engaged in deep conversation and heartfelt sharing, as well as a range of creative experiences that opened their hearts and allowed clarity to emerge, remarkable changes were set in motion.

A healer who had craved creative play that had been eluding her revelled in the experiences she had. Her joy was palpable and lifted us all. Over the course of the retreat she faced and dispelled significant limiting beliefs that had been holding her back, and she’s now returned to caring for her her clients with more presence.

A consultant found new ways to cope with pressing personal challenges, and reshaped routines to care for her physical wellbeing, too. In turn, she was inspired to reshape ways she works with large organizations.

A mother moved from acknowledging a deep desire to have more time in nature to ways to bringing that experience into her reality each day. And now she shows up differently at her own kitchen table.

A woman in the midst of a professional transition also found clarity about a key personal relationship. She has set new standards and is now bringing more clarity and confidence into everything she does.

I have come to think of it as a multiplier effect.

How you can ignite something meaningful

The work you do when you step into a space of self-discovery and expansion reaches far more people than you alone, because you carry it into every room you enter.

To get a taste of what that can feel like, you can give this small practice a test-drive at home.

Even a small opening can have an impact for you, and those around you, too.

1. Pick a quiet spot. Have a journal and pen next to you.

2. Sit and think of something special — something you have longed to do, or something you can imagine that would make you really happy in the future.

3. With that image in your mind, notice how you feel. Excited? Peaceful? A little nervous? Curious? Eager? Amazed? Notice how your body feels, too. Are your shoulders relaxed? Are there flutters in your stomach? Maybe you feel tingly.

4. Next, relax into the vision and see if you can imagine more — as though you were actually living in that experience. What are the sounds you hear? What’s the weather like? What colors are around you? What do you smell?

5. Now write down what you envisioned. And note how you felt, and how you imagined the expanded vision. Describe it all as vividly as possible.

Savor the experience you had. The next day, pull out your journal and reread what you wrote, and revisit it during the week and beyond.

You might want to share your vision and feelings with someone close to you.

You can also add to your journal — write more about the vision as your imagination plays with it, and maybe jot down a small action you can take to get a clearer picture of it, or a step you might take toward starting to make it happen.

As you continue to hold the vision in your mind you may sense that the people around you notice something new in your energy.

As you rise, so do others  

When I see women rise, and the way people around them feel and respond to them, whether in retreats I lead or when I coach great women, I feel especially moved.

Time and again I observe that when you give yourself room to grow and step into an elevated space with an open heart, everyone around you feels it.

If that idea stirs something in your heart, hold onto it. 

If you’d like to know more about retreats and the multiplier effect, email me and let’s talk.

The room I didn’t know I needed.

I moved recently, after decades living in the same house. Sorting through years of belongings, I kept finding things I’d held onto without quite knowing why.

The surprise didn’t show up in the packing. 

It was how much lighter I felt once there was room to breathe again. 

My new place is smaller and delightfully bright. I chose to turn a small bedroom into my studio. Having been unable to paint for over six weeks, I could feel myself itching to begin.

Change does that.

It clears a path and then asks what you'd like to put there.

If you're moving through a transition of your own, whether a role you've outgrown or a quiet sense that something wants to shift, you don't have to figure it all out at once. 

Sometimes the first step is making a little space and seeing what shows up.

3 ways to create space and hear your heart

In the midst of a life that is full and often demanding, the thought of carving out space for reflection may sound good, and also feel daunting.

Try one or more of these ways and see what shows up for you.

1. The power of 3 intentional breaths

It may seem unlikely that pausing for 3 breaths can be significant, but give it a try.

Sit in a quiet spot (after you wake up, by closing the door to your office, or on a sidewalk bench).

Close your eyes. Relax your shoulders and your jaw. Maybe put a hand on your heart.

Inhale slowly and feel the air fill your chest and move down into your belly. Then exhale even more slowly.

Repeat 2 more times.

Take a moment to see what shows up for you. Maybe a new insight. Maybe a question. Maybe just feeling more open and relaxed.

2. Download whatever is on your mind

Pull out a journal or pad of paper. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Start writing.

Write whatever is on your mind, questions you are grappling with, emotions you are feeling — or any jumble of thoughts that want to hit the page.

When the timer goes off, sit for a moment.

How do you feel? Has anything new occurred to you, or have any “aha’s” surfaced?

Keep going if you have the urge to, or repeat later if time is short, or simply savor the satisfaction of getting it all out — if that’s how you feel.

3. Get a little silly

Find a moment to do something fun, laugh with someone, or play a bit. Loosening up by feeling free and playful is a great way to open your heart.

You can do it alone or with others. Give it a try and see what shows up for you!

What happens next

When you’ve created a bit of space, don’t push yourself or rush to figure things out.

Feel into what you are called to consider, or the questions that came to mind. 

And if insights show up quickly that you know, deep in your heart, are true, honor them.

Much of my work is about just that — supporting the process of deep discovery, considering where new insight can take you, and moving ahead.

These have been pivotal to the expansion I have experienced in my life, and I am honored to help others expand into what’s true for them.

What Are You Putting Off? Begin with One Small Step

What are you putting off?

(We all have things we avoid, for one reason or another!)

It may be a decision.

It may be a reply that’s overdue.

It may be a task that feels too hard, too big, or just plain unpleasant

Figure out what’s in the way

Step 1: Set yourself up for easy access to insights

Whatever comes to mind for you, take a little time to think about why you are putting that thing off — what is holding you back.

Are you feeling stuck?
afraid?
confused?
overwhelmed?
when you think about the matter?

It’s helpful to identify the emotion that’s prompting you to put that thing off.

To set yourself up for discovering what that emotion is, start by moving your body. Movement will help your energy to flow, and in turn, help you think clearly.

Take a walk and get some air, or listen to music and move to it. 

Now you’ll be more at ease and more able to access answers.

Step 2: Pick a good tool to explore with

You might set a timer for 5 minutes and sit and free-write. (You can write for longer if you’re on a roll!)

Don’t edit or worry about punctuation. Just write. Then take a look at what showed up on the page.

Another good option is to ask someone you trust to listen as you talk it through for yourself.

This person is not there to “figure it out” for you! Choose someone who loves you, wants the best for you, and is willing to simply listen and ask open-ended questions to help you go deeper, until realizations come to light.

What comes next 

With clarity about why you have resisted addressing the matter, you may feel ready to get into action. That’s great, and if that’s where you are, skip this section!

And, often, simply knowing the culprit is not enough. It may still feel daunting to get started.

If so, now’s the time to actively transmute your stuck energy so you can release it from your system.

Again, you have choices for how to proceed.

Consider these options:

1. Do something creative — and do it with gusto!

You might pull out crayons or markers and make a hideous drawing that reflects the stuck emotion you want to release. Do as many intense, scribbled drawings as it takes to feel relief from the anger, or frustration, or shame in your system!

2. Move again, this time with even more focus

Dance to super-loud music until you feel wrung out! You can imagine being an animal and moving as though it were angry or excited.

Put on running shoes, get outside or on a treadmill, and see how long it takes to feel like the emotion is “done with you.”

Do yoga and envision that difficult emotion dropping down, deep into the earth, leaving you free of its grip.

3. Shout or pound out the emotion

Sometimes yelling into a pillow, or slamming a pillow or plush doll as hard as you can, will feel like the best way to get stuck emotion out of your system

Now, choose to take a very small step

With the heavy emotion having cleared, it may be tempting to try to tackle a big matter all at once. And sometimes, what’s been stuck will suddenly seem easy to resolve in one effort, which will feel great.

You can also choose one small thing to do first.

That could be to draft the email, but not send it until you reread it later.

You might simply assemble the necessary tools, or find a good video that demonstrates the steps you will need to take.

You might seek an introduction to an expert, or tap your network in another way that will help you tackle a big challenge.

The key is to take some kind of action, that you can then build on with another step and then another.

And if that thing you have been putting off is focusing on yourself, there’s an opportunity that you can take a small step to explore. 

Your first step to finding clarity about where you're headed and building confidence to move forward (in any area of your life that's on your mind) is to hop on a call with me.

LiveBigCall.com

On the call you can share what’s going on and what’s in your way. I’ll help you see what’s possible and may be able to provide resources for you.

There’s no obligation or pressure — just a chance for you to gain some clarity and find a first step toward the future you want.

Book your call here:

LiveBigCall.com

What if easing up helped you shine brighter?

It’s easy to be hard on yourself.

I certainly was for most of my life. And I still sometimes slide into feeling like I am not doing enough, or not doing things well enough.

Fortunately, I came to realize that my old ideas about what it meant to “do enough” and to be “good enough” were way out of whack.

Maybe yours are, too.

Why we’re so tough on ourselves

Many smart women feel relentlessly driven to achieve.

Some were raised with expectations to be perfect, and regularly heard questions like, “Why did you get an A-, not an A+ on that test?”

Some drive themselves hard because they felt (and feel) that they need to prove themselves.

Why?

Sometimes there were low expectations of their capabilities, or they were not seen for who they were and all that was possible for them.

Other times the drive was rooted in competition with high achievers or uber-talented people, or greatness was expected of an older, or male sibling, and not them.

Whatever the reason, the self-imposed pressure for perfection is exhausting. It’s also counter-productive.

The harder we drive ourselves, the harder it is to truly shine.

Unrealistic standards can pummel you

The unrelenting physical and mental energy that’s expended in an effort to excel takes a greater toll than you may realize.

It can lead to a host of problems, including:

• anxiety

• chronic stress

• strained relationships

• feeling deeply dissatisfied

• low self-esteem

• exhaustion

• insomnia

• a lack of joy (even when things go well)

• burnout

Over time, these problems build and the toll gets harder to tolerate.

Progress beats perfection!

One of the best pieces of wisdom I was gifted was “Great is the enemy of good.” That was years ago.

At the time I was consumed with making my first website, for my design firm, “perfect” before launching it. As I toiled, months rolled by.

I wrote and rewrote sections. I obsessed over the site organization, and had my team repeatedly replace images that needed to be “better.”

All the while, people who might have learned about our work found nothing about it when they searched online.

The idea that launching a good site was a better idea than delaying to launch a perfect site astounded me.

And I could not find an argument to counter the suggestion!

Ultimately, what really amazed me was the feedback my “not really good enough” website received. People heaped praise on it and we connected to new clients.

And, best of all, I started to ease up on myself.

Not to lower my standards, but to accept that perfect is impossible to achieve.

To embrace that I could continually tweak and make improvements to almost anything.

And to intentionally create space for things that bring me joy and inspire me, space for my own creative expression, and space to focus on my health.

All of which has helped me to spaciously do more of what feels deeply meaningful.

I invite you to explore what’s possible for you by easing up. I cannot wait to see all the ways you will shine.

Personal transformation and powerful impact

Last week a remarkable group of women showed up for themselves. 

They set aside three days to focus on what they deeply want to do at this moment in their lives, what they want to have in their lives, and also how they want to show up for it all — the woman each of them wants to be.

Profound insights came to light at the Live Big Live! retreat, as each woman connected to her deep desires and ignited her abundant creative power.

The fuel for all that unfolded was the energy and joy of creating and expressing boldly throughout the retreat.

As well, the women were lovingly supported by one another.

It felt safe to open their hearts and share, and safe to look closely at what gets in their way, too.

We examined old stories, habits that run on automatic, resistance to making changes, and letting negative messages of the self-critical voice limit them. And we talked about new ways of overcoming those limitations.

The women not only set incredible visions for the next part of their lives, on the last day of the retreat they identified specific ways they will live in the months ahead, to make those visions real, step by step.

And on the last afternoon, the fantastic creation each woman made will serve to anchor her to all that she experienced.

The full impact is yet to come  

Leading these women for three amazing days was an honor and a joy.

And, as much magic as I witnessed at the retreat, what means the most to me is that the real impact will be so much greater than what each woman left with.

There is a multiplier effect when women commit to themselves and bravely step into new ways of living and working and relating in their worlds.

As they show up authentically, set higher standards, delegate and create space for what matters most, they are models for those around them.

Their energy becomes magnetic, and that elevated energy is felt by everyone in their spheres.

As each woman shines her light more brightly, she will contribute to her universe of contacts — personally and professionally. Whatever her role, she will impact individuals, communities, organizations, and the greater world.

As I envision the breadth of that expansive impact, I am grateful for the courageous engagement of each of the women and moved to envision their collective impact as they shine brightly.

One of the vision Boards and some Photos of what happened At the Live Big Live! Retreat.

Gain Clarity To Begin Creating Your Best Life

When we’re busy and try to be focused while constantly aiming to keep all the balls in the air, we are not only living with stress, it’s easy to lose connection to ourselves.

Many of us don’t take time to appreciate our complexity, and that all of who we are — our attributes and aspects of our greatness — matter.

Many remarkable women I speak to and work with tell me they skimp on the time and attention and nurturing required to show up fully, energetically, and with clarity about the life they want for themselves.

Do you create space for reflection and joy?

When you take time to consider where you are now, and sort out both what is right about the mix of personal and professional and what is not aligned or missing, your clarity will serve as a compass.

Layer on gaining clarity about what brings you joy, and how you can create conditions for that joy to be a regular part of your life.

That clarity is key to being able to feel whole and satisfied. 

What comes after gaining clarity?

Once you specifically envision the more aligned, balanced and fulfilling life you yearn for — one with less friction, more happiness, and where you feel confident knowing that you are on a clear path — here’s what you can expect.

In all likelihood there will be intentional steps to take to shape the life you know you want.

These 3 ingredients will take you far.

To begin to create the life you desire you need willingness.

True transformation and growth occur when there is a willingness to embrace the mystery of what is about to unfold for you. 

Willingness is needed, too, to venture into deep introspection — even when it gets uncomfortable.

And willingness is required to move forward when you don’t know exactly what you will encounter as you go.

Next you need to believe.

When you believe that you matter, you do not put yourself last. And that belief in yourself extends to trusting that you can create the life you want, and take true steps toward making your desires your reality.

This embrace of your creative power enables you to envision all of the possibilities you want to become real.

This is how you become what you believe.

The final ingredient is commitment.

Commitment is required to create structure and space in your life to cultivate your creative power — in the ways you think, care for yourself, set bold visions, and show up and express yourself authentically as your visions take shape, step by step.

This deep commitment to yourself, and to the focus on the effort required along your path, is the key to implementing desired change in your life.

Becoming a creator of your life  

You have the opportunity to start the process of defining and creating your best life today — even if you take a mere baby step forward.

Because each small step is meaningful. And small steps build momentum and add up quickly.

And if you want to consider having support to ease your way, I may be able to help.

Let's connect on a quick call.

You can find a day and time here.

With love,

How to Move Through Change Using Your Creative Power

Change can be intentional — like jumping on a great opportunity or choosing a new career direction after lots of planning.

At other times change can can come out of nowhere.

You learn your apartment is converting to a condo and you have 60 days to move. Your company has a re-org and your position disappears. You planned a much-needed vacation and a major storm shuts down airports.

Whatever the change, it nearly always introduces discomfort.

It calls on us to be resourceful and resilient.

And whether the change ends quickly, or we live through a long period of adjusting to a new reality, it can take a toll.

The reality of navigating change  

Emotions can feel intense in times of change. Decisions need to be made. Your routine may be disrupted.

And whether you feel excited, fearful, angry, confused, resentful, or some combination, it’s easy for overwhelm to set in.

Having just completed a move that entailed a lot of downsizing on a tighter timeframe than we’d hoped, I experienced lots of emotions, decision fatigue was real, and it was physically demanding.

I was fortunate and grateful to have a resource that made it all easier to move through than it might have been.

Creative Power eases the experience  

I leaned into my Creative Power in ways that I’d been unaware I could during past times of change.

This is what it looked like for me, that may help you, too.

1. Slow down to get more done

Even when the pressure was on, I deliberately paused to consider my best options and the most productive possibilities for next steps, rather than plowing ahead. That way of thinking like a creator helped me to find solutions and resources I’d have missed if I was in perpetual motion. 

2. Self-care is crucial

When the pressure is on, it’s easy to skimp on eating well, getting enough sleep, and creating moments for things that bring joy. It’s also easy to question yourself and your ability to cope.

One key to tapping your Creative Power is loving yourself. And in times of change that entails a combination of exquisite self-care, believing in yourself, and fueling your spirit.

Even with no time to cook, I brought in food that allowed us to eat healthy meals. On several nice days we walked to a nearby cafe for an afternoon break. I stuck with most of my regular Friday visits to the gym, and aimed to get to bed early. A winding down ritual supported sound sleep.

All of that produced energy I was grateful to have!

3. Trust yourself  — and ask for help!

When you think like a creator and take the time to reflect and care for yourself, you can more fully trust yourself to make your best decisions, to set a path toward good outcomes, and have ample energy to move through a time of change.

And, when you add in outreach for people and resources to augment what you can do yourself, you will benefit enormously.

In my move, help came in the form of finding non-profits who came to pick up donations, and bringing in extra people to help with physical and time-intensive tasks. It also meant reaching out to others for advice.

Great creators know they do not have all the answers, and do not need to do it all themselves.

A last key ingredient that builds Creative Power

At each step along your path through change, include a moment in your day to be grateful.

Your gratitude can be for yourself — for the energy, effort and creativity you’ve brought to the process.

It can be for others who help with ideas, physical tasks, moral support, and love.

It can be for chance moments of surprise, joy, delight and beauty.

It can be for your appreciation of what’s good, what’s going well, the kindness of others, the article you came across that had pertinent information, and more.

Taking the time to recall all you have for which to be grateful will fortify you and ease your path through the change.

If you are moving through change, are planning for change, or anticipate it, and want an ear, we can have a quick call.

Find a day and time here.

With love,

Do One Joyful Thing Today and Feel Your Spirit Lift

When was the last time you did something for yourself, simply for the joy of it?

This morning, as I looked at the tightly scheduled line-up on my calendar, I was about to dive in, when I asked myself what I really yearned to do.

What my heart wanted was to return to the mild, bright morning I’d glimpsed when I opened the front door to get the newspaper. (Yes, I still love reading a printed newspaper!) My heart wanted me to go for a short walk.

The old me would have over-ridden that urge.

Having sipped my coffee and eaten my usual breakfast, I'd have felt compelled to get right to my desk and get the first item on my to-do list crossed off.

Today, I made a different choice.

The joy of moving, as I breathed in clean air, wearing only a light-weight coat, lifted my spirits in a way that made everything else in my day flow with ease!

Treat yourself today

Maybe you are juggling a lot today. Maybe you feel pressured. 

No matter what is going on, ask yourself what one small thing would add joy to your day, lift your spirits, make you feel good.

You, too, might choose a short spin around the block — without looking at your phone, getting a call in, or otherwise connecting to anything other than your breath and the sensations of being in motion.

You might decide to sit down at the piano, or pick up a journal and write whatever comes to mind, or reach for colored markers and doodle.

You might listen to a favorite piece of music and dance to it, or sing along and feel your heart swell.

Those few minutes to disconnect from what needs to be done, and attend to your heart, will pay dividends.

Nourish your soul, create more powerfully

When you open space for small (or bigger!) opportunities to delight yourself you are likely to find, as I do, that no matter what comes next it will be lighter, easier, more pleasant to move through. 

Especially when there’s a pressing deadline, or a challenging conversation, or there’s a task on your mind, the energy you liberate after doing something that has opened your heart will help you engage your creative power in great ways.

The more you set the stage for ease in these ways, the more easily you will open channels of expansive thinking, curiosity, willingness to try new things without fear, and resilience to continue creating even when obstacles appear.

Why not test it for yourself a few times this week and see what happens?

Activate Your Best Energy This Season

Last week I spent four remarkable days in Texas attending a retreat led by my coach. 

Making time for this retreat is always a priority for me. And even though this retreat came at an especially busy time, I made it work.

Why?

Because being there never fails to open my heart and enrich my spirit. I always leave with deep new insights, as well as tools I can use in my life.

And I bring my new way of being, and what I learn, to my client work — with my private coaching clients and with the women who attend my retreats.

I am happy to share some of what I brought home from this retreat.

Change can align with the seasons

This retreat was timed to happen during the transition from winter to spring.

Spring, in addition to being a time when leaves unfurl on trees and flowers bloom, is when we can feel excited about activating new ideas that often emerge in the quiet of winter. 

And it's a time to step into making those ideas a reality.

That calls on us to show up more decisively in the world, to make clear choices, and show up more dynamically. 

And, of course, it means creating in new and bigger ways.

Positive energy is a key to making big ideas real

When you feel the urge to do something big and new (whether your ideas are fully formed or less clearly defined at the start), new levels of energy are required.

That elevated energy doesn’t simply appear — it needs to be cultivated.

And building energy can be a challenge if tough emotions are moving through your system, or if you have a physical issue you are dealing with, or if your spirit is flagging.

Rather than try to muscle through, there are effective ways to build positive energy and in turn, experience less struggle.

Great ways to build great energy

Something wonderful happens when you find your way (or ways) to build great energy. Energy that is heavy or stuck at the start can be eased and released — and that opens space for inspiration, realizations, and excitement to fill your spirit.

So think about where positive energy is easy for you to access. We will not all tap into more positive energy the same way!

Consider these possibilities:

Spending time in my studio works brilliantly for me. I get deeply absorbed and let go of distracting thoughts. Whatever I may be feeling at the start — from frustration or anger to joy or excitement — moves through me onto the page or canvas. Time disappears and my spirit expands. (This approach works for people who love to garden, or cook, or sing, or build with their hands.)

For others, connection is the key. That can include meeting with friends, connecting to nature on walks, connecting to their hearts in meditation.

Some people build energy first thing in the morning, by stating an intention for their day and making it their mantra.

Some love moving their bodies early in the day, often outside. They find the somatic awareness to be uplifting as they relish feeling fully alive.

Many people find writing in a journal to be a great way to start their morning, or when they pause to write during the day. They simply allow themselves to write freely, or start with a prompt from an oracle card, and feel great afterwards.

Take a moment to think about what appeals to you to make a regular part of your life that will help you build and sustain positive energy.

And be assured, even small efforts can have a significant impact!

How to sustain your elevated energy

After you try some approaches, share what works for you with others.

You and a friend may want to experiment together and then keep one another accountable for practicing the ways you find are best for each of you.

Because getting inspired is wonderful — as I experienced at the retreat I just attended.

And, we all know that inspiration can fade.

It is in the ongoing commitment to staying aware of how you can keep your energy building to live your best life, and your commitment to incorporating small new practices into your routine, that meaningful change will become the new normal for you.

Let me know the ways that keep you feeling great — and what you are excited to create in this new season.

Email me or make a date to for us to chat.

What If Success Could Feel Easy?

For too many women, pushing and struggling is a daily experience. I spent most of my life pushing hard. I believed that was the only way to succeed professionally, and the only way to keep up with my personal responsibilities.

I was perpetually exhausted. 

Maybe you can relate.

There’s another way to live

While there will be times when you need to put a heavier foot on the gas, it is easy to get habituated to pushing hard in order to do it all, and especially when you think it all needs to be done brilliantly. (Perfectionism is a related topic, that we can talk about soon!)

I’ve learned that there’s an easier and better way to live and achieve the outcomes I want. I am glad to share two great ideas that made a big difference for me.

A surprising solution for overwhelm

When, after being urged to slow down by my coach, I finally tried to do it in earnest, I found that I had space to breathe and think and feel.

I connected to what excited me and what felt fully aligned for me to focus on. And with that clear focus, I was delighted to discover that I got more done — while experiencing less fatigue and lots more energy! 

That energy felt like fuel for my system.

And when my coach then suggested that I could ask myself this question: “What if it could be easy?” I was given another gift.

Each time I asked myself that question, the thing I was doing got easier. My spirit felt even lighter and my energy shifted into even higher gear.

Creating great approaches and finding new solutions accelerated as fresh ideas flowed and I excitedly acted on them.

Not only did I have space in my life that made me feel calmer, I was more satisfied and celebrated better outcomes.

Are you willing to try something new?

If you are habituated to pushing hard, try slowing down. Think of one important thing to do today that you can open a little extra space for.

And experiment with the expectation that it may be easy to move through that task.

Start with something small, or go for using these approaches to a bigger project. Either way, be patient with yourself as you adjust to this new way of operating. 

If you, like I did, find that you are freeing up positive energy, go with that feeling of flow. 

As your creative power naturally kicks in to a higher and higher gear, it will be fuel for your system, supporting you to move with clarity, confidence, and even greater ease.

And you can always reach out for support if you find it challenging to make changes in the way you operate day-to-day.

Email me here or make a date for us to chat.

Use Creative Power to Ease Stress Now

Are you, like many people, stressed by so much that is happening in the world now and the dizzying pace of change?

Maybe you are dealing with illness or supporting others who need help. Maybe you are navigating a move or a change in your professional life.

It’s a lot for a nervous system to handle.

How your creative power can help now

While there are many exciting dimensions to creative power, one that never fails when you feel pressure is to choose a way — any way! — to express yourself creatively. 

And no special talent is needed for this to work wonders! The key is to do something that will feel easy and be fun.

Aim to recall things that were a blast to do when you were a kid.

Maybe you will choose to do something with your hands, like play with clay, dig in the dirt, knead dough, knit, build with Legos, or make a collage.

Do you play an instrument, or have you in the past? Make some music.

You can doodle or paint or draw with colored pencils.

You can sing in the shower or in your car, or sing along to music you love.

Why not dance? Write in a journal or compose poems. Cook something new!

Creating is like giving yourself a gift

Whatever way you choose to express yourself, I predict that you will feel your heart expand.

Any pressure that’s present at the start will be reduced, and may even dissipate completely. 

Your spirit will be lifted. Everything will feel lighter.

I have found that setting aside just a little more time to make art in the last few weeks has been great for getting back to center, and also deeply gratifying.

And I spent a weekend at a writing retreat. It was a reset for my spirit to be with a small group of brilliant and inspiring women, guided by a gifted teacher. (I find great satisfaction both leading retreats and experiencing them as an attendee.) 

And I had another surprise.

Walking as I left the retreat, I tuned in to the world around me with sharper vision. I noticed details and beauty in unexpected places. It was as if it was all waiting for me to discover it!

Awaken your spirit, light up your life

When you create expressively and open your heart, you not only feel better, you heighten your senses.

Seeing a glorious sunset stayed with me and inspired a conversation to go deeper. Tasting surprising flavors sparked new ideas for a project I’ve been considering.

Who knows what magic will show up in your life when you create to express yourself?

I’d love to hear from you as you explore and find the ways you love the most.

Email me or make a date to for us to chat.

Dare to Live Your Biggest, Boldest Life

As many people are shining a spotlight on Women’s History Month, I have been reflecting on the attributes of great women — past and present — that we can all be aware of and aim to amplify in our lives.

We might not rise (or care to rise) to leading a nation, like Claudia Sheinbaum in Mexico. We might not aspire to be President of the European Commission like Ursela von der Leyden. Even with great physical talent, we might not care to aim for Olympic glory like Alysa Liu or Hilary Knight. 

What I dream of for women everywhere is that we step into our power and create lives that are bold, satisfying and impactful.

The path to living your greatness

Great women know what they really care about.

What means so much to you that you feel a deep desire to pursue it?

Your answers may well include personal and professional things.

Think about what matters for you. Your deep personal desires could be health-related. They could center on your family. They could be related to supporting a cause that’s close to your heart. They could be about pursuing a passion that brings you joy. 

Think about your professional life. Maybe you want to rise to new levels of leadership, shift your career direction entirely, or launch a new enterprise. Maybe you want to nurture and guide the next generation or focus on your legacy.

Maybe you dream of impacting your community, or the world!

Take time to note the things that really light up your heart now.

Great women fully appreciate and own their gifts, their genius!

Too many remarkable women I have spoken to and coached over the years fail to believe in their greatness. They may have lived in the shadows of others. They compare themselves to other people and feel less than. They may have had a hit to their confidence. They question themselves, they doubt, they feel like impostors.

A focus on self-love can make a world of difference.

Remind yourself every day of how capable you are and how meaningful your contributions are. Pause to appreciate yourself as often as possible.

Make time to do things that delight you, and do as many of those things as you can. When your spirit is fueled you will find it easier to see all the ways you shine, and routinely celebrate yourself.

Great women set bold visions for themselves.

Sit back, get quiet, and imagine yourself a year from now and what you wish your life to look like.

What will you have experienced and done?

Envision having reached that moment.

Where are you? What do you look like? How do you feel?

Also imagine yourself looking back at the risks you dared to take, and at the  adjustments you made along the way as you navigated toward the wonderful outcome!

Journal about all of it and reread your descriptions periodically.

Living your best life matters

Each of us has talent, intellect, spirit and passion we can tap into and amplify. Each of us is full of incalculable amounts of creative power. 

And no matter what stage of life you are at right now, what you do with that amplified passion and creative power makes a difference.

It counts. 

When you live your fullest most satisfying life you are not only happy and inspired, you touch others in meaningful ways you may never become aware of. The positive energy you bring into the world ripples far and wide.

So whatever you choose to make your focus now, when you pursue it with clarity, belief and passion, creating in myriad ways as you live day to day, be sure to appreciate the journey.

The way you move toward your vision is the gift.

It’s is the path to a life of enormous satisfaction.

And no matter what challenges show up, which are inevitable, you will know that there are always ways for you to create and overcome them.

I want women to take the lead to making this a better world.

Live the biggest brightest version of your life for yourself, and for all of us.