Manage Holiday Stress With More Ease

The end-of-year pace is picking up for most of us now.

With the holidays coming, most people are selecting gifts.

You may be planning for gatherings you’ve been invited to (anything from what you will wear, to who can look after children, to considering how the dynamics of specific conversations will play out), or you you may be hosting a gathering or two.

Maybe you are figuring out activities to put on the calendar, whether you are seeing friends, family, or are far away from people who are special in your life. 

And you may be thinking about the start of a whole new year — with excitement or trepidation.

How are you feeling about the coming weeks?

Are you excited and eager?

Are you feeling frazzled, tired, stressed?

Maybe some worry is showing up.

Take a moment to close your eyes to ask the question. See what shows up in both your mind and your body.

Many of us believe that our thoughts give us all the information we need, and fail to pay attention to our somatic sensations.

What we physically feel can be remarkably revealing.

For example, if you sense a tightness in your belly when you check in with yourself, or if your neck and shoulders feel soft and relaxed, you can connect the physical signals to the thoughts you observed and gain clarity.

There may be a correlation between thoughts and what you feel, or you may find that the sensations in your body provide a clue to something other than what you were thinking, or prompt you to explore deeper awareness than you had initially considered.

When you gain clear awareness, you can move ahead and make the most of the weeks ahead.

How to leverage your emotional awareness 

Most women find a mix of emotions show up when they check in with themselves, and at this time of year that is especially likely to happen.

And having that insight can help you to move through this busy time with as much ease and grace as possible.

These steps can make a world of difference any time you have identified a challenging emotion such as tension, concern, or feeling overwhelmed.

1. Clearly name the emotion

By naming a challenging emotion, you can often remove some of the intensity you feel, which in turn will make it be easier to find a thoughtful, creative path forward.

2. Pause, rather than pushing ahead

It may feel natural to plow ahead and aim to get productive. Or you may be inclined to minimize the power of the emotion and try and push it aside. Instead, honor yourself and take a short pause.

3. Take 3 slow deep breaths

When you choose to briefly sit with the emotion and take a few intentional deep breaths, you increase oxygen flow. That activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which, among other things, relaxes you and gives your body the signal that you are safe.

4. Talk with a trusted person or jot in a journal

This step supports you by helping you reflect specifically on the current situation. Speaking or writing brings clarity, as you find the words to express what you feel and what brought on the feeling, as well as how you are considering ways to move forward.

5. From a calm, clear place you can move ahead with more grace

After you have quieted your system and expressed your thoughts, you can look at the situation with more perspective. You will be less reactive. And you are likely to be able to reframe the situation, and see your opportunities to move ahead in new ways.

Create peace and there will be more space for joy

By taking a few quiet minutes to assess and move through emotions that get in your way (like tension, struggle, annoyance or stress) with intention, you are able to access more creative thinking.

That thinking will help you see things with perspective, and chart new ways forward that would otherwise probably not have occurred to you.

And once you are feeling clearer and steadier, you will feel different — lighter, better, able to see new possible paths and outcomes.

And whatever way you find to move ahead, there will be space for joy — or space for more joy — that when you started.

Here’s to a holiday season filled with peace, joy and love!

Overwhelmed? Here’s How a Simple ‘Mini-Reset’ Can Restore Your Energy

We humans are complex, and women who are committed to doing their best — at work, at home, and in the world — can easily overload their nervous systems.

We plan, we strive, we feel deeply, we push — often to the breaking point. Sadly, this way of living becomes “normal” for so many of us.

Even on weekends and when we take vacations, we can struggle to fully unplug and rest.

And it takes a toll.

I often say that we are not machines, but many of us live as though we were. And most of us do not even pause for routine maintenance (which we would never skip for the cars we drive!). We do not think about protecting ourselves from future breakdowns. We just keep grinding away.

What if you shifted gears?

I invite you to appreciate the vital importance of taking a break.

While it’s great to pause and breathe with intention during a busy day, I am suggesting something that will have a bigger benefit.

I call it mini-reset.

Consider setting aside a weekend day (or more time if you have a vacation planned). And to make it really interesting skip the planning.

Yup. Even if you love to plan in advance, give this a try!

Whether you are alone, with a friend, or surrounded by kids and family, imagine starting this unplanned day quietly and slowly.

Ask yourself

• what might be fun to do?

• what would bring me joy?

• how might I play?

• where might be a fun place to explore?

• what would be a great way to surprise myself?

Consider ways to spend time with no agenda other than pleasure and ease!

Maybe you’ll get in the car and take a winding country road to a town you haven't explored before, or for a while. When you get there you might try a cafe, window shop, walk through a park, meander on side streets.

Maybe you’ll head to a museum without a clue about the exhibitions on view, to follow your nose as you move through galleries and make discoveries.

Maybe you’ll choose a spot close to home and sit and watch the world go by. Look at the sky, people-watch, look closely at things you usually rush by and make a point of finding small moments of wonder.

Whatever you choose to do, notice what's around you — the sights, sounds and smells.

Take note of how you feel.

Memories may show up.

Curiosity is likely to be peaked.

New ideas may pop into your head at random moments.

Commit to periodic dates for mini-resets

Just as you would not miss your semi-annual dental appointment or annual physical, commit to regular dates for resetting your nervous system.

Remember, whether you choose a date each month or each season, you can gather up the crew or go alone. You can stay put and read something you have not made time for. You can putter in your garden if that brings you pleasure. You can cook something you've been curious to try.

These periodic mini-resets will help your complex, overworked brain and body get the preventive maintenance — including minor repairs — to function optimally.

And as you reap the benefits and continue to choose dates for resets, they will likely become a normal part of the rhythm of your life.

So pick a date for your first mini-reset right now!

And remember, as tempted as you might be, don’t do any advance planning!

Let yourself make a choice that morning and see how the day unfolds!

I’d be delighted for you to share your mini-reset experiences with me. Schedule a chat here.

Manage Stress with These Powerful Techniques

Few would disagree that when we operate in a stressful environment we are unable to be our best.

And few of us are free from stress these days.

The current external environment often changes by the hour, and in ways that are unsettling and even frightening.

And day-to-day, normal stresses arise at work, in relationships, in our communities.

Even the “good” stresses of welcoming a new baby to the world or moving to a new home take a toll.

How to manage your energy in the midst of stress

It may help to consider that we are all connected — we are connected to other people and the natural world through an energetic web. We do not operate in a vacuum.

This web of connection — that may sound obvious to you, or may sound a bit woo — is something we can tap in meaningful ways, especially when we feel unsteady.

If you are willing to accept that concept, try these approaches when you find stress interfering with your ability to think clearly or take action without fear.

1. Get quiet and connect to your heart 

When you take a break of just one to five minutes to sit quietly and breath, your nervous system will settle. Sit in a comfortable position, preferably in a quiet place, and put a hand on your heart. As you breathe slowly, send loving thoughts to your heart. Sense the connection in your heart to people you love. Think of people you admire. Imagine a beautiful place in nature. Sit and savor the feelings.

2. Remind yourself of all the ways you are special

The benefits of thinking self-loving thoughts are more meaningful than you might imagine. Studies show that self-compassion, and self-loving thoughts and practices, decrease anxiety, depression, and loneliness, and that stress is reduced at a cellular level! Remind yourself that you are wonderful. You are resourceful. You have help and love all around you. Think and speak lovingly to yourself, and know that the more you feel love and share love with others, the more love will expand in your life.

3. Connect to others

We are social beings, and while many of us think it’s best do things on our own, and that doing things alone proves that we are capable, the truth is that we are stronger — and more is possible — when we choose to be connected socially, choose to collaborate, choose to ask for help. Making these connections is a powerful way to live with less stress.

You can leverage your invisible connections

When you bring consciousness to, and adopt practices that connect your elevated, self-loving spirit to other people — and to the natural world — you are likely to find that your life gets better.

Things will feel — and be — easier for you.

You will speak differently. You will listen differently. You will likely notice subtleties and ways to connect to others more deeply.

As you share both energetically and in real-time with others, and appreciate the wonder all around you, your connection to your deep desires will surface more easily, your spirit will soar, and you will live with more joy.

Imagine what can be possible for you when you bring a focus to all the ways you can fully love yourself, and to making true energetic connection with others.

If you want some personal guidance for how you can build self-love or tap into the energy of love with more ease, schedule a chat with me here.