The Magic of Being Fully Present

How often do you intentionally slow down and bring your full attention to the present moment?

As much as I appreciate the importance and benefits of being fully present (which I devoted an entire chapter to in my book!), I tend to move through my busy days thinking about what has happened (in the immediate past moments as well as events long past), or anticipating what is likely to happen based on decisions and actions I am anticipating or taking. 

I rarely slow down to be fully present.

I typically move from one thing to the next, especially when my calendar is crowded.

Rather than pausing to focus on what I just experienced or what is happening right now, I try to remind myself to get curious and consider what I can — or want to — create that is aligned and best for me as a next step, 

Because over time I have realized that each time I fail to catch myself when falling into the looking back/looking ahead trap, I short-change myself.

The lesson that hit home for me

Two weeks ago I wrote to you on the first full day of an annual writing retreat I have gifted myself for 3 years. Now that I’ve been home I can see even more clearly how meaningful that time was for me.

While I dared to venture into being a painter in 2015, I never envisioned myself also being a writer. (Other than penning my posts each week, I’d never thought to write stories, or a memoir, or poems.)

Writing seemed mysterious, and something other people did.

Then I was invited to listen to women writers read portions of their work, and I met the teacher who guided them. I was impressed, but still did not think of exploring what writing could mean for me.

In December 2023 I was invited to a weekend writing retreat that was offered in Boston, and I decided to step out of my comfort zone and see how it felt to write from the deep voice — as my teacher, Leslie Berliant calls the approach she teaches.

Trusting myself to explore something new turned out to be pivotal in my life. I had a new outlet for expression that has been enormously rewarding.

And one huge benefit I did not notice at the start is that writing slows me down.

The gift of going slow

Writing or painting may not be creative pursuits that you love (though maybe if you try them you will discover that one or both of those ways to connect to your heart and create is exciting).

Maybe you love to be outside and tend your garden.

Maybe you love to create with ingredients in your kitchen.

Maybe you love doing tactile things with your hands, or dreaming up grand initiatives to lead.

Any way that you choose to create with intention will slow you down — whether your ideal pace is shorter sprints or devoting extended time periodically.

Going slow when you get fully absorbed in something that brings you satisfaction, allows you to express yourself, opens your heart, and will positively impact everything else in your life.

Your observations will be keener.

Your intuition will be easier to access.

Your lit up energy will be a magnet for other people. 

Try slowing down to create today

I invite you to test my theory for yourself.

Start with something that appeals to you (maybe pull out colored pencils and an adult coloring book, or do a few pages of doodles) and devote a little piece of your day to it.

Repeat — creating that way or trying other ways to create — in the week ahead.

Take note of how you feel when you slow down and allow yourself to get absorbed in something that brings you pleasure. And how slowing down impacts the other things you focus on in your life.

I’d love to hear about what you experience. Email me and let me know.

How to savor every day

Most of us focus on destinations, goals, and achievements.

What if you savored the journey?

What if you held the vision of that desired state and lived in each present moment?

This is why it’s great to focus on now

When your attention is fixed on a destination, you miss what is happening now — including new opportunities and great sensations.

When you live in the present, you appreciate all of your experiences as you move in the direction of your desired outcome.

What’s more, you can tune in to new possibilities and can gain fresh awareness of ways to support your goals.

And maybe best of all, you will have more fun!

Ready to give this new way of approaching your days a try?

How to stay in the present

It’s tempting to focus on the future. However, doing that often leads to thinking of a million what-ifs — which is not only stressful, it hijacks your attention and fragments your focus.

It’s also easy to look back and repeatedly rehash old experiences. While there are lessons to be learned from looking at the past, the rehashing usually hurts as you tend to focus on shortcomings and feelings of regret.

If you find yourself stuck in either of those states, try these ways to return to the present:

1. Be alert to your thoughts.

It can be helpful to jot notes about the times you fast-forward or dive back into examining past events.

Can you notice types of triggers that pull your attention away from what is happening now? Are there times of day, or specific people, or patterns you can become aware of?

Awareness can help you to avoid those situations — or spot them start early on. That's a great way to consciously bring your attention back to the present.

2. Observe what is happening now and create your response.  

Consider where you are and what’s going on around you. Choose the present as your focus, at least for a little while.

Think about where you have opportunities right now — like the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation, or to shift to a more positive approach, or to come up with a new idea.

Ask yourself if there might be a challenge to address that you may have been avoiding when you turned your attention to the future or the past..

Be thoughtful as you contemplate your options and make your best choices.

3. Appreciate and honor your emotions.

When you are present and feel excited and eager about what is happening, and all that is possible for you now, make the most of the energy. Let yourself fully enjoy what you are doing. Let that positive energy carry you!

If you find yourself feeling discomfort, or fear, or sadness, or stress, it may be tempting to try and ignore it.

A better approach is to let yourself feel the feelings for a little while, and then use those feelings as fuel for some type of creative expressions.

For some that's writing. For some it helps to dig in the dirt, or go for a run. Some people move their bodies to music, or hammer away in a workshop, or sing loudly in their car. (This may be a quick effort, or may need repeating until you feel the emotion has been released.)

Having expressed yourself to use your emotions, you are likely to feel lighter, ready to refocus on all the opportunities and possibilities in the present moment.

And speaking of opportunities, when you live in the present you will have many opportunities to appreciate yourself. Acknowledge yourself for each step you take, for noticing new possibilities and testing them, and for all of your progress (the small steps as well as bigger leaps).

Living in the present is a great way to Live Big.