Ready to delegate and reclaim your time?

Whenever I speak about the subject of delegating I hear about how hard it is for women to let go of the idea that they have to do it all themselves.

And I get it.

I lived that way for sooo long.

I was trapped in that thinking.

Trapped in the belief that asking for help or delegating tasks was a sign of weakness.

And my fear was amplified by my perfectionism. I believed that nobody else could do things as I would do them — or at the high standard I aimed for.

Are you caught in the trap of doing it all?

Holding a belief that you have to do it all puts you on a fast-track to exhaustion and overwhelm. 

Maybe you are there already. (Sadly, I lived that way for decades.)

Whether you realize you are there, or that you are heading that way, I invite you to consider that delegating and asking for help, are options that can positively impact your day-to-day wellbeing in ways you may not even fully imagine.

Look at the origin of the story you tell yourself

I know the origin of my belief that I had to do it all myself.

My father was an immigrant who was proud that he built a new life using his intelligence and hard work. He talked about it often.

The message I got from him was that asking for help would be proof that I lacked sufficient intelligence or was unwilling to work hard enough — or both.

And thus I drove myself relentlessly.

Perhaps your belief is that you don’t feel you deserve help.

Perhaps you don’t think there are people who would help you.

Perhaps, in spite of exhaustion, you feel pride in being the person who does it all, or the person everyone turns to and counts on.

If you can spot the way your misbeliefs took hold, it may be easier to see that they are simply stories — old stories that do not serve you.

Stories that can be dropped.

It’s time to shift your thinking

The opportunity you have now is to give more to you — to give yourself more space so that you can focus more on what you need to thrive.

Envision having more rest, easily taking better care of your body, having more time with people you love, and time to enrich your spirit by doing things that bring you joy!

Hold that vision clearly. It can be the engine that enables you to make change.

Delegating changes the game

The fastest and easiest way to live so that your vision becomes reality is to lighten your load. 

Now’s the time to focus on the benefits of delegating and how it will help you to be a better you.

Think about being able to make bigger contributions to everything that matters to you — in the work you do, the relationships you care about, and your ability to make the world a better place.

This will make the thought of delegating tasks, and reaching out for help, too, feel easier.

Next, think of one thing to delegate this week. 

Pay close attention to anything that someone else can do faster and/or better than you! That's a great place to start.

You can delegate tasks to:

• people you work with

• to family members and friends

• to people you hire

A great benefit of delegating — particularly at work, and also in personal relationships — is that people will become less dependent on you. The people to whom you delegate tasks get to build confidence and develop skills. It’s a win all around.

And consider who you might turn to and ask for help.

Most people love being asked to help. You might ask someone to be a sounding board for your new ideas. You can ask for help to do something around the house rather than doing it alone. Someone may be happy to pick up something for you on an errand they are doing for themselves.

As you gain more ease with delegating and reaching out for help, the benefits will become clearer and more satisfying.

The real you — the woman who creates the conditions to show up as her best self, and has the bandwidth to tap her rich creative power — will shine brightly.

We will all be the benefactors of your gifts!

Turn overwhelm into powerful choices

Last week I spoke at a great event in Miami — the Superstar Summit. I was honored to be among a great line-up of speakers in front of a fabulous audience.

Preparing for the trip — doing everything from making travel arrangements to writing and preparing to deliver my talk, choosing what to wear on stage, making slides, sending a file off to be printed so I could leave everyone in the audience with a useful reminder of what I taught, and lots more details crowded out much of what I typically work on in a given week.

And now I am looking at the list of everything that waited, and things that arrived while I was away, that are all calling for my attention.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at times like this.

In fact, my to-do list often feels like a lot, even when there aren’t special events that interrupt my usual schedule.

What I have come to understand about those long to-do lists has made a huge difference in my life.

It will never all be done — and that’s great! 

My life is ever-changing, with new opportunities (as well as typical obligations) and new ideas popping up frequently.

And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I have embraced both the joy of that realization, which developed when I learned new ways to consider what is on my ever-changing list.

The insight I’ve made my new way to operate, is that I get to choose what matters most — what can be let go of, what to defer, and what to delegate to others.

I feel powerful and capable when I make those decisions.

And taking those steps frees me to love what I choose to do — including time I set aside for self-care, play, and creative expression.

I no longer want a completed to-do list.

Rather, I celebrate having a list that I created, that’s comprised of things I’ve chosen to make my focus.

Stay present to what is showing up now

It has taken me time to learn to relate to my life this way.

I’ve learned to trust myself, and trust that everything I continue to create in my life — including nurturing precious relationships and creating new relationships; appreciating the outcomes of my curiosity and explorations; generating ideas for new ways of sharing my ideas and tools and experiences with great women — are opportunities for joy and fulfillment.

I do love getting a lot done in a day — particularly when the things I do bring me so much satisfaction.

When I remember that being flexible and agile, thinking creatively and listening to my intuition, always guide my best path forward, I thrive.

If you yearn to be free from overwhelm, to learn to move past the pressures of a long list of heavy obligations and feel excited and grateful as you move ahead in your life, I’d be happy to chat with you about how you can start creating a new relationship with your to-do list.

Book a call here!

What if it was easy?

We often start a tightly-scheduled day, or have a new project to tackle, and feel that it will be hard. It does not seem possible to squeeze everything on the list into the hours of the day ahead. The new project is complex and feels daunting.

I was accustomed to thinking things would be hard for most of my life.

I looked at my schedule and felt heavy thinking about how hard it was going to be to get so many things done on time.

I thought about a new project with worry about how I would get all the facts, create a plan, recruit the right people and resources, and execute on the plan by the deadline.

That mental starting point, that heaviness and concern, set me up for struggle — until I learned that there was another way to consider “challenges” like these.

A great question changed everything

In a conversation with my coach a few years back, I was sharing how burdened I felt by many things on my to-do list, about looming deadlines, about how to figure out some things that were stumping me.

She paused and asked me a great question:

“What if it was easy?”

I was taken aback! I had never considered that any of those things might be easy, or could be easy.

I was in the habit of thinking about things as being hard to do, and hard to get done in the midst of a busy day (and my busy life).

It can be easier than you think

When I shifted to considering “What if it was easy?” and telling myself, “This can be easy,” my world changed!

I began approaching my to-do list with a lightness I’d rarely felt on hectic days. I now look at my calendar and my to-do lists and think to myself that I can certainly move through the events and tasks with ease.

I also begin with positive, optimistic and excited energy as I embark on big new projects. 

And by making those shifts I have been rewarded in wonderful ways.

Most tasks feel manageable and get completed with ease. For those that require more time and effort, for whatever reason, I stay relaxed and they go much more smoothly than in the past.

At the end of the day I am less depleted and I have enjoyed my work!

And when I begin new projects that are complex and important (as I will do later today), my frame of mind is more playful, open and excited. I begin with the expectation that it can, indeed, be easy to approach and complete. I enjoy the process of jumping in to new projects.

Add another positive thought to the equation

There is another new way of thinking that combines brilliantly with, “What if it was easy?”

I suggest you start each day with the thought:

“I have an abundance of time!”

Embracing this belief makes an enormous difference for me, enabling me to move through my days with so much more ease. 

Combining the two statements removes stress and increases both productivity and satisfaction in remarkable ways. 

My clients swear by the power of embracing these two statements, too.

Test it for yourself

I invite you to try making these two ideas — separately and in combination — a regular part of your approach to your day.

You can download the graphic below. Why not print it and post where you can see it every day so that it serves as a welcome reminder?

I predict that it will not be long until these new thoughts become familiar and will have a positive impact for you. 

I would be delighted to hear from you when you bring these ideas into daily practice. Email me to let me know if they boost your day-to-day wellbeing.