All of us wrestle with things that are tricky to navigate, or find ourselves in situations where communication is challenging, or on paths with obstacles we need to navigate.

Sometimes there’s a tough decision or choice to be made. Sometimes there is someone in a dynamic with whom we do not see eye-to-eye. Sometimes an important boundary needs to be set and held.

It is easy to feel engulfed in emotion, indecision, frustration, and even anger.

Stress mounts, and stress can cloud your thinking. That makes things even harder. Stress can highjack your attention to a degree that you miss out on positive experiences and possibilities.

Can you relate?

Maybe something like that is happening right now, or a situation in the past springs to mind.

As a coach, I support great women as they move through all sorts of challenges. And I, too, face challenges like these.

Here are steps to take that I use, that may help you move through and forward to minimize struggle.

Follow these 5 steps to get started

1. Make space to pause and think clearly

In stressful situations, it’s tempting to push forward and act on your first impulse.

When you choose to sit quietly and think, you can aim to consider the situation free of emotion (whether it’s fear, anger, or frustration at another person or the situation).

You may want to journal, or take a brisk walk to clear your head.

Can you reframe your take on things, or gain more perspective on all of it? You may want to ask someone to help you see things with keener objectivity.

2. Make a plan

This is the time to chart a course forward.

From a place of calm and greater clarity, perhaps having considered multiple possibilities, you may realize you want help from someone with particular expertise or experience.

What is the best approach you can determine now? What boundaries and guardrails will be important to put in place?

Your plan may not be “perfect” or work out smoothly. That’s ok.

The key is to get things started, knowing you can make adjustments and modifications as events unfold.

3. Take action

With a plan of action in hand, it is time to implement.

Seek out resources you may need.

When written and/or verbal communication are needed, aim for clarity free of judgement or drama.

And be aware that as you move forward you may well find yourself returning to steps 1 and 2. (Or, remind yourself that you can use those steps again!)

4. Process your emotions

As noted in item 1 above, a range of emotions can be present at the start of the process, and emotions will continue to be a factor until — and even after — there is resolution.

Processing your emotions as you move forward is important. Trying to ignore your feelings, or deny them, may seem expedient, but is not advised.

Take time to be with the fear, or frustration, or disappointment, or anger.

Some people scream into a pillow.
Some get the emotion out by running or hitting the gym.
Some pour their emotions onto pages in a journal or onto a canvas in hideous colors.
Some ask a trusted friend to let them vent.

Find what works for you and give yourself time to wring it all out. You may need to repeat the process. It is rare that one round does the trick.

Your objective is to get to a place where the charge is released, your heart feels open, and you can think as calmly and clearly as possible.

5. Stay in the process until it is resolved

It’s easy to initiate a plan, gain some traction and want things to be ”done” before they are, in fact, resolved.

Even if you feel impatient, even if the process is uncomfortable or becomes more uncomfortable over time, stay committed to seeing it through to a point of resolution.

Be sure to include step 6: Let go!

When you have reached a resolution, whether you feel great, or disappointed, or anything in between, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you worked for the best outcome and did it with integrity.

And mixed or negative emotions may linger.

The biggest gift you can give yourself is to let go of any emotions that are not supporting you to be your best, to do your best, and to be as happy as possible.

Use the suggestions in number 4 above to help yourself, so you do not feel stuck or rehash things in ways that hamper you.

When you release any lingering emotions that diminish your wellbeing, you make precious space in your life for more goodness and more opportunities.

And who doesn’t want more of that?

One last thing! There is still a spot available for Live Big Live! this spring. If you have been thinking this could be your time to step into creating your most fulfilling, empowered future, email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

When late last year, on a whim, my husband and I planned a month-long winter stay in Paris, I expected to return home, rest up to adjust to the jet lag for a week, and then head out again for another trip (this time to Arizona), that had been booked nearly two years ago.

And then the universe offered me another opportunity.

It turns out that my coach settled on dates for a winter retreat for the mastermind program I am in, that I’d thought I would have to miss this year. The dates she picked had the retreat starting 4 days after my return from Europe.

My first thought was to skip the retreat.

I figured all the travel (2000 miles west of home this time) would be too much — too much time on planes, too much time away from my home, too much time away from work (this retreat means being off the grid!), after having had too little time to fully catch my breath.

And then I thought some more.

Some things are worth reconsidering

I thought about why I had committed to being in the program, and I thought about all that it does to support me to stretch, to grow, to learn and expand.

I focused on how it supports me to let go of more and more limiting beliefs and to bring deeper levels of insight and awareness to my life. The weekly meetings I attend are great, but the retreat is an especially powerful part of the program.

Doing this work allows me to become more of the woman I know I can and want to be. And in turn, I am able to better lead my clients to become the biggest, best versions of themselves, and create the lives they truly desire.

I was clear: To reap all of those outcomes, I knew I needed to be at the retreat.

And so, rather than focusing on the fatigue and time away, I decided to focus on the gifts of attending the retreat.

The outcomes can amaze you

The gifts of being at the retreat were tremendous!

I shared the experience with the fabulous crew in our program, all wonderful people doing superb work in the world. Led through a carefully designed sequence of exploration that ranged from deeply emotional to expressively fun, we all inspired one another to face the shadows, dive deep, claim our unique gifts, and rise high.

I have just left the retreat as I am writing this.

I have much to savor and reflect on, and I am filled with exciting new insights and ideas to bring to my clients.

Rather than feeling fatigue, I am fueled!

What lens are you looking through now?

When you consider the life you are living now, what do you see?

Maybe you have suffered a setback. Or you may be figuring out what’s next that will light you up every day. Perhaps you are at a crossroads, or there is a big dream you have tucked away in your heart. Maybe you are stressed and burnt out. Maybe you feel you are meant to do something bigger.

Whatever it is, do you see opportunity or challenge?

I invite you to consider your perspectives, as well as the ways you invest in yourself and the future you desire.

Something bigger is possible

I know it’s easy to settle. It’s easy to drift through life, and let life happen. And that is fine — if it feels satisfying.

I lived that way for a long time, until I discovered there was an opportunity to wake up in my life, and I learned to create what my heart really desired.

I learned about the tremendous power we all have to leverage our innate creativity, to bring more of our greatness into the world and live our biggest, best lives.

I am honored to support to great women who are clear that something better awaits them. I love bringing these accomplished women together and guiding them to experience live-changing expansion.

One client recently marveled that when she thinks back to herself a year ago, she would never have believed the woman she has become. She left a toxic job and is launching a big new venture with confidence and excitement. And what she loves the most is the joy and satisfaction she enjoys in her daily life, that had felt out of reach for years.

You can have support, too. You can be surrounded by people who inspire you and lift you up. You can honor yourself and devote time for your well-being and your growth.

If you feel the call to explore what it can look like for you to embark on a journey of meaningful self-discovery and growth — or if you know you are ready to dive in — let’s connect.

I always welcome a conversation. I invite you to email me, or book a call with me here.

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Get through any struggle with these 5 steps