Your Challenges Can Make You Stronger
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All of us have dealt with challenges.
It can feel like everything is going smoothly and we then get blind-sided by an event that seems to come out of nowhere.
Or, we may have lived through a challenge that seemed endless.
You might be going through a challenge right now, and figuring out how to get past it.
Challenges show up in countless ways
Some are health-related. They can be sudden, can be short-lived, or may impact your life for a long time.
Some are related to work. These may include stress about the possibility of job cuts or the sudden loss of a position; coping with harassment; feeling pressure to reach unrealistic objectives; having to tolerate conditions that take a toll over time.
Personal challenges are often related to family dynamics or relationships. Marriages end. People close to us suffer illness or die. We adjust to parenting. We relocate and create new relationships in new places. We are close to someone who struggles with addiction, or addiction is a personal challenge.
Financial challenges can be the result of our own decisions and actions, those of people close to us, or external economic dynamics.
While there’s no single strategy for navigating life’s challenges or overcoming them, we have all made our way to the other side of challenges in our lives — sometimes muddling through, sometimes having found a straight path.
And once on the other side it can feel great, or far from great.
The other side of challenges
Having made it through a challenge we sometimes celebrate ourselves for having overcome it, or celebrate the the way we moved through it.
That’s a terrific place to find yourself, as it fortifies you with pride as well as confidence about facing future challenges.
And, it’s common to live with regret, shame or bitterness about the event or how we handled ourselves.
At other times we try and forget it happened or the way we showed up, and we aim to simply move on.
Your challenges can be great teachers
Try this brief exercise and see what you learn.
1. Take a moment and recall a challenge you have moved through.
The challenge may have been recent, or something that happened years ago.
2. Identify the primary emotion that comes up as you recall that challenge.
Whether you feel relief, pride, shame, sadness, bitterness or regret, let yourself breathe for a moment and feel the emotion.
3. Whether you feel good, feel pain, or are upset, realize that you have the opportunity to learn from the experience.
Your takeaways may be things you learned in hindsight, or something that you can see now, with fresh perspective.
Maybe you can see that standing your ground has risks but also benefits.
Maybe you can see that setting a clear boundary is a key to reaching a good outcome.
Maybe you can see that asking for help is important and does not signify weakness.
Maybe you can see that daring to look at what has been uncomfortable opens your eyes to a fresh, clear perspective.
Maybe you can recognize an old knee-jerk reaction and envision how you can let it go in the future.
Maybe you can see that you did the best you could, and that was actually a lot.
Maybe you can see that taking care of yourself in the midst of a challenge makes a huge positive difference.
Maybe you can see that you are strong and resourceful, even if you are not perfect.
Maybe you can see how creative thinking helps to resolve problems.
The lessons will help you create your best future
When you know that you have the capacity to navigate challenges big and small, and that whatever comes your way you can learn from the experience, you are able to face the future feeling resourceful and resilient.
That’s a powerful way to create your best life.
