5 Techniques to move through fear

Fear is a universal experience. So are tough emotions such as anger, worry and desperation.

These powerful forces challenges all of us.

Today, let’s look at fear and how to move through and past it. (Stay tuned for emails about other difficult emotions, that will follow soon.)

We all feel fear!

Sometimes that fear is related to something that puts us, or someone we care about, in mortal danger. More often we are afraid of things that are not actually dangerous.

Because our lizard brains were wired in ancient times, when mortal danger was frequently a risk, we instinctively find ourselves experiencing fear.

Happily, we have far less danger in the modern world, and there are a number of good ways to end that suffering no matter the cause.

Common advice falls short

I have heard well-meaning people advise that you can tell yourself that fear is not real, and that doing that will make the fear go away.

But when you are afraid, you are responding to something that feels very real to you. In my experience, and observing others, being told that fear is not real, so just let it go, is not helpful.

What to do instead

Of course, fear can have a different degree of hold on you at different times, and depending on what brought it on.

Sometimes a small shift in thinking and perspective can work wonders, or employing a new way of responding can do the trick.

Try some or all of these techniques and see what works for you.

1. The power of hope

No matter what the fear relates to, bringing hopefulness to mind can make you feel much better. 

Hope is powerful. It helps reduce the anxiety that can accompany fear. As you focus on hope and more positive thoughts appear, the fear that gripped you will begin to recede.

2. The power of love

It may surprise you to learn that another great antidote to fear is love. Actively bringing a focus to love — for yourself, for someone else (even the person you feel anger toward), for the world — produces chemicals in the brain that reduce fearful thinking. 

Then, whatever made you feel afraid can be considered with a calmer, clearer and more hopeful frame of mind.

3. The power of awareness

The fear you feel may be sending you a signal — that you have a desire to try something new (like a physical challenge) or go for something different (like an exciting new job) — and that your fear is there to help you resist giving it a try.

The fear may be trying to protect you from the possibility of failing, or embarrassment. 

The truth is, you will never know if you can or will succeed (right off the bat or after several restarts), until you try. 

And if this kind of fears shows up, remind yourself that it does not entail mortal danger.

4. The power of choice

The truth is that in any situation, we can choose a new way of thinking and a new way of responding.

We can choose to bring a new perspective to the matter. We can choose to look at our circumstance through a new lens.

We can also choose to trust — ourselves and our creative thinking, and particular people who can support us. 

When you hold the awareness in your mind of all the choices you can employ, and practice using those choices, you can cope with things that have felt really hard in the past.

5. The power of gratitude

The science is clear. When you focus on gratitude, levels of the stress hormone cortisol get lower. This works to block toxic emotions of many kinds. 

Neurological studies show that your brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and fear at the same time. When you focus on what you have and what is good, and not on what you lack or fear, the fearful feelings fall away.

Email me to share the approach, or approaches that work best for you.

An invitation to create your best life

Do you, like so many people, replay past events with regret?

It is tempting and easy to think about a decision you made, a conversation you had, a response made quickly, and wish it had been different.

When you feel the pull to question, reexamine, or suffer about things in the past, you cheat yourself.

How?

You cheat yourself out of being present now, and when that happens you lose precious opportunities to create what is possible in this moment.

What you are able to create in every moment (a new idea, a meaningful conversation, a new boundary, something you never dared to explore before) can actually shift your trajectory.

And that one small shift can lead you to a future that is more satisfying and fulfilling.

That’s an incredible possibility.

What are you creating now?

What are you thinking about and taking action on to create the life you truly want to live?

Are your thoughts and actions propelling you in a direction that excites you, or are they limiting you?

Perhaps you are dwelling on negativity and worry, which is common and may feel reasonable. A conscious shift to gratitude and positive possibility can bring inspiring energy to your next efforts.

Perhaps you feel unsure or timid. A shift to exploring with someone you trust can provide insight and inspiration to take a step you might otherwise not have tried.

Each moment of your day offers the opportunity to create a new thought, take a new step, be a bit bolder.

You may not have considered that these are acts of creation!

What happens when you consciously create 

When you create from a place of belief, clarity and trust, you can move ahead with optimism and willingness to experiment, knowing that you can continue to create in each moment.

When you try new things, course-correct if necessary, and create a new next step forward — over and over again — your life can change in remarkable ways.

This can become a new way of operating. A new way of living.

Take a small, meaningful step now

I invite you to make one small commitment to yourself today — to create something just beyond your habitual way of operating, or just outside of your comfort zone.

It may be to say “no,” if you know deep down that that response is called for.

It might be to say “yes” to your heart, if you feel it’s time to try something new.

And if that “something new” is to to say “yes” to you — to make space for yourself, to look deep into your heart and find true clarity about what you want, and to have a guide to begin creating that reality — you may want to say “yes!” to a once-a-year opportunity that’s just round the corner.

Start creating the future you dream of

Each spring I lead the Live Big Live! retreat in Boston, and this opportunity is only happening once in 2024.

On June 6, 7, and 8, 2024, an intimate group of incredible women — like you! — will come together to move though a life-changing experience together. And we start in a virtual format together before the retreat, so you will have a solid foundation for everything that happens in our beautiful space together.

Here’s what you can expect:

  • You will be guided to crystalize a vision that is rooted in deeply knowing yourself.

  • You will experience creativity in inspiring, fun, and surprising ways — and no special talent or experience is needed!

  • You will receive tools to use, again and again, whenever you feel doubtful or stuck, to keep moving toward your dreams. 

  • You will learn from and be supported by other great women, and in turn you will bring your gifts to them.

  • You will create a concrete plan for how you will live into your vision for the next 90 days — so the inspiration and insights will be specifically actionable for you.

  • You will amaze yourself and feel excited about your life as never before.

I have witnessed remarkable outcomes at Live Big Live! in the past, and it would be an honor to speak to you to see if this opportunity is a match for you.

My life’s work is to guide and inspire great women to tap all of their potential by activating the transformative power of creativity to live their best lives — to live big!

If you are ready to step into an amazing future, let’s talk soon. We kick off in advance of the retreat, so let’s get a date on the calendar soon! 

Schedule a call here. (There's never a cost or obligation for us to chat.)

Here are a few photos taken at past Live Big Live! retreats

Step into new possibilities

Most people live in their comfort zone, where it feels safe — and comfortable! That was familiar territory for me. I lived in a cozy, if small, comfort zone for years.

I recall how uncomfortable it was, when I first worked with a coach, to think of stepping outside of my comfort zone. The uncertainty I felt about a host of unknowns seemed daunting.

And, I learned that by choosing to look at things differently, I could also see opportunity.

What if you focused on curiosity and exploration rather than fear?

For some people, a significant event shakes them up and inspires them to step beyond their comfort zone.

In my case, it was a slower process of building awareness that I was no longer content with the status quo. A soft voice inside me piped up to say that I was no longer excited about the work I’d been doing for decades and it was time for something to change.

And I said yes.

I was willing to trust myself, get curious and explore what was possible. Fear and resistance fell away.

Giving myself the opportunity to explore and make discoveries led me to fresh and exciting insights, and many new experiences. It wasn’t long before my new path became clear and I was energized to forge ahead.

What is simmering inside of you, related to your work, your relationships, an upcoming transition, or your satisfation with life?

What might it look like for you to open yourself up to new possibilities?

There is power in taking one small step 

Rather than staying where you are now — no matter where you are on the spectrum that spans dissatisfied, to uncertain, to eager for something new — I invite you to take a step across that invisible line at the edge of your comfort zone and the possibility of something new, different, bigger, better.

Start with saying a quite “Yes” to yourself — a “Yes” to taking a single, small step into new possibility.

  • Your small step may be to make a change in a routine that feels stale.

  • Your step might be to reach out to someone and talk about an idea that intrigues you.

  • You might try something different, like a new way of moving your body, or a new way of creating to express yourself.

  • Your step can be taken at your desk, or on an excursion to a place that inspires you.

  • You might explore ideas you have now, or generate new ideas to consider.

Any new step counts. Start and then take another step (in the same direction or a different one).

Getting into motion builds momentum. So set an intention to take action.

Are you ready to begin?

Most people wait for the “right time” to take a new step. And most people put off action because they are never sure they are “ready.”

I urge you to start today — simply take one small step over the line into new possibility!

And you might make that step a call with me. You can book a quick intro call to share what’s going on in your life, and what you yearn for. (There’s no pressure, cost or obligation for us to talk.)

Live BIG in 2024!

When was the last time you created space for yourself — to think deeply and explore your heart? 

Have you ever spent a few days with other women who are courageously considering important questions, getting clear about the life they truly desire, and being supported to start creating that life?

One of the most beautiful expressions of the outcome of this process was shared with me this past weekend. One of the women who said “Yes” to herself and attended a retreat I led in January shared where she is now.

“I am exploring the ocean that is me. I am immersed, and seeing all that is coming up for me. I am honing and exploring and finding joy!”

What will you discover when you say “Yes”?

The opportunity to give yourself some time and space to focus squarely on yourself is special. And doing it with guidance, in a small group with other great women, is remarkably enriching.

If you are willing to embark on a process of personal exploration, I predict that you will make great discoveries.

If you believe that you matter and that you can learn to create a future that will light up your heart, I predict that you will feel excited to step into a new version of you — a you who feels agency in her life as never before.

Explore what’s possible for you!

The Live Big Live! retreat, that I last offered a year ago and that is now offered only once a year, is returning this spring.

The 3-day retreat is preceded with a preparatory process that’s designed to give you a solid foundation before we gather in person. You will have tools that provide clarity and discoveries, private sessions with me, and group calls where you will connect to the other fabulous women in the group.

Our time at the retreat will include fun and creativity, as insights emerge and breakthroughs are experienced. In short, this program will propel powerful momentum to fuel your life!

Live Big Live! is a singular opportunity to experience what past attendees have raved about. (Check out what they have said here.)

Now is a particularly good time to check out Live Big Live! and see if you feel the urge to learn more about it. 

Why consider Live Big Live! now?

I am offering a special fee for the program through the end of the month. The special offer will expire on February 29, 2024. 

If you feel this spring may be the time to step away from your day-to-day routine, connect to your heart, nurture your spirit, and get energized to create your ideal life in a BIG way, let’s talk soon. 

Look for time on my calendar here. We’ll meet on a call to be sure your questions are answered and see if the fit is right.

I will be delighted for us to talk.

From Paris with love

If you’ve seen my Instagram feed, you know I am in Paris. I’ve been posting some art and scenes that have caught my eye in the past few days.

Last year at this time I had the joy of living and working here for a full month. This trip is a quick one-week visit, and I am grateful to be back. 

I’m glad to share some of the beauty of this magical city with you here.

(And, if experiencing the art and culture of Paris and the south of France is something you would love to do in a special way, look out for an announcement I will make soon, about a retreat for a small group of great women in France this fall.)

SCENES FROM MY WEEK IN pARIS, including a visit to Musee D’Orsay and Mark Rothko’s work at Foundation Louis Vuitton.

Unleash your creative power in 2024

Imagine standing at a large glass window on a rocky shoreline, looking out at the vast ocean and the expansive sky above it. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine what that would look like and how that would feel.

Can you “see” the splendor of nature before you?

Can you sense the energy of the powerful moving water and hear the crashing waves on the rocks below the window? Can you see the graceful, swooping birds gliding on the wind currents?

This inspiring vista represents the year that lies ahead for you — an amazing year of limitless possibilities.

The vast space is filled with energy that you can tap into and use as fuel to create an incredible 2024!

The energy for creation is in you

The way that energy is generated and built in the natural world provides us with information we can apply in our lives, to create anything we want to bring into existence or elevate in our lives.

Here’s a bit of nerdy science to explain:

1. Just as in atomic structure, you can add energy to a stable system and create stability at a higher level. (With a hydrogen atom, for instance, you can add energy with a laser. The electron absorbs the energy and moves to a higher energy state. Got that?)

Interestingly, the process can go in the other direction. An electron at a higher level of energy can drop back down if its energy is dissipated or lost. It takes new energy to be put back in to get back up to the level it had.

2. Here’s another piece of information to consider, having to do with thermo-dynamics and entropy. (I promise, this will not hurt your brain!)

The fact is that the universe tends toward disorder, and that’s called entropy. If you let things erode, you need to put energy back into the system and then sustain that energy. You can even build more energy from there! 

We all know that nothing lasts forever, and our bodies, brains, even civilizations can crumble. The good news is that living things are designed to counter entropy!

3. Chemical reactions have something great to teach us. Activation energy is needed to bring several atoms together to make a molecule (think about 2 Hydrogen atoms and 1 Oxygen atom, to make water).

Any process that creates new things from already-existng things takes energy! (For water, a spark of heat or electricity does the trick.)

For us, it means not only having all of the parts ready and assembled, also adding an energetic ingredient.. 

What this means for you

When you:

  • have the willingness to go beyond the edge of your comfort zone and trust yourself to do something that excites you

  • believe that your desires and ideas matter, and that you have the power to take small steps forward

  • commit to yourself and the effort that’s called for to create what you desire

  • generate energy in your spirit and actions — a natural outgrowth of having the foundation I just described

  • and stay in the process, so you continue to build energy, or start again when there is a setback

… you can create in limitless ways!

You can add spirit and emotion, too. While these are not as measurable, you can feel the energy of kindness, love, and joy. These all build positive emotional states.

Combine spirit and emotion with the scientific principles described above, you have powerful energy for fulfillment!

Let’s create a 2024 to remember!  

I kicked the year off leading a powerful new retreat last week, that was focused on the energy of creation (see some photos below!).

It was incredible, and I am designing more deep experiences for women to come together to get focused and clear, and generate creative energy to bring into their lives — and impact the world — as never before! 

And part of my focus for 2024 is to bring more of my work inside organizations. I support professional women to be able to bring more of their greatness forward, to have their biggest impact as they create lives they love. When this happens great culture is built, organizational success is accelerated, and great talent is retained.

If you want to hear more about any of what’s coming up — for you personally or your organization — get in touch!

Navigating the year-end transition

As we head into the last two weeks of the year, you may feel drawn to look back, or eager to look ahead, and maybe both.

Whether this has been a year to cherish or a year you are eager to leave behind, you surely have meaningful opportunities for insight.

You choose the lens

Let’s first consider reflecting back on 2023 — which I suggested in my last post.

Looking back can reveal a lot for us, and can help us look ahead with clarity and intention for the year we want to live after the calendar turns on New Years Day.

All of us can spot times when things went well. It is important to recall things we took pride in and things to celebrate.

And, all of us can spot times of challenge, disappointment, pain or frustration.

It's in reflecting on the challenges that we get a choice about the lens through which we want to process them.

If you choose a lens of regret you may beat yourself up for not doing better or for having made poor decisions — leaving you with a sinking sensation, or worse.

If, instead, you choose to look at unfortunate events of the past year through the lens of observing lessons learned, or recognizing ways you moved ahead, you may well be able to feel gratitude for positive aspects of those events. 

Perhaps you will see that you were resilient.

Perhaps you can appreciate your strength.

Can you spot creativity in ways you thought about paths forward, or ways you approached a situation?

A focus on gratitude sets you up for success 

When you choose to look through the lens of gratitude, for both the great things and the ways you dealt with difficulties, you fill yourself with positivity.

The energy you feel when you can appreciate the full spectrum of your experiences is powerful. And that energy will support you to think and feel differently as you look ahead to 2024.

Try this next

Pull up your calendar and set aside a little time for yourself to look back, and look ahead. You may want to do this with a buddy, you may want to schedule two sessions — one for looking back and one for looking ahead. You may want to do this in a place you especially enjoy, like a cozy cafe or a comfy chair.

Any way that works for you is great.

It is helpful to scan your 2023 calendar and note the things that jump out to you. There are likely to be highlights you did not acknowledge, or special things that you lost track of. Jot them all down.

And jot down the rough stuff, too. There may be big ones you are thinking of now, and you may well see some reminders of smaller challenges that offer insights when you think about how you responded, overcame obstacles, or found solutions.

With all of the discovery noted, its time to do some writing about the outcomes in 2023 you can appreciate and savor.

And then it is time to look ahead to the fresh new year on the horizon.

What dreams do you want to pursue? How do you want to show up

Consider questions like these:

  • What qualities in yourself will you leverage in new ways?

  • Do you yearn to lead more boldly? 

  • Do you want to be more compassionate (to yourself and/or others)?

  • Are you ready to stop doing something the way you have in the past?

  • Does it feel like time to try something big or new?

Write about all of the thoughts and ideas that come to mind, without evaluating or judging them, or thinking about how to do any of those things. (There will be time for those questions soon enough.)

Give yourself the gift of time to dream 

In this season of gift-giving, spending time to dream is a precious gift you can give yourself.

Let yourself dream big about the life you want to create in 2024!

It does take any more energy to dream a big dream than a small one. Honor yourself and the desires in your heart, and declare your dreams!

I am dreaming about a year filled with more love, abundant peace, and women (and men!) everywhere living their dreams.

We can collectively bringing more greatness into the world as we all create in meaningful ways. This world needs all of us to show up and live our biggest,best lives.

New beginnings: create your best life!

It is a delight to welcome many who have just started receiving my Big Ideas. I am so pleased to welcome these great women.

This past weekend I celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. The focus of this High Holy Day runs deeper than our secular new year.

On Rosh Hashanah we celebrate the creation of the world and welcome a sweet new year. We are also introspective, as this holiday starts a 10-day period during which we reflect on the ways we fell short in the past year. We pray for forgiveness and to be “written into the book of life” for the year ahead.

The idea that we have a new start, one filled with opportunity to be self-aware and to live with clear intention truly inspires me.

We can start anew each day

Holidays of many kinds offer is the opportunity to take note, reflect, celebrate, and some invite us to consider some change we might make.

In fact, every fresh new day is an invitation to be grateful, to bring awareness to how we are living, and to do something new or different.

Rather than living on autopilot, why not set an intention at the start of each day?

You might create a small morning ritual to reflect and consider what new action or way of being you want to make a focus of your day. 

Your ritual can include a few minutes to write in a journal. It might include lighting a candle and sitting quietly. It might be taking a walk to reflect on nature. Create what works for you!

Just make one small change today

If you have been a reader here, or have heard me speak, you know that I believe in the power of implementing small changes.

As you embark on a morning practice or ritual, it is key to bear that in mind.

Rather than aiming to make a sweeping change, think of making a very small shift — in thought and/or action. 

Need ideas to spark your heart?

On some days you may be very clear about your focus for the day ahead. On others, you may be less clear and feel unsure what focus will support you to have your best day.

And while you may want to stick with one focus for a period of time, you might choose to change your focus as outside circumstances, inner desires, or new possibilities prompt you to make different choices.

Any way you bring awareness and commitment to your day is great.

Consider these possibilities:

• Choose to add curiosity

Bringing more curiosity into your day is always a great idea. Curiosity can be applied in countless ways. Ask more questions in conversations and listen with care. Bring a curious mind to explorations of possibilities and solutions. Be curious about underlying motivations — your own and those of others.

• Choose to cultivate patience 

Set an intention to sit with discomfort when things do not happen as quickly as you’d like, or when you have an impulse to plow ahead without full consideration of a matter, or when others are unresponsive. 

• Choose to be more loving

Think about how you might love yourself more. Maybe you will be more self-forgiving, or pause to eat a more nutritious meal mid-day. And, how might you love others more fully, though acts of kindness, or helping someone, or even in your thoughts?

• Choose to be more trusting

You can actively trust yourself and the decisions you make. You can be more trusting of others, too. That awareness of trust will automatically prompt you to be more thoughtful as you move through your day.

• Choose to show up a bit more boldly

What one small way can you be more bold today — in a way that feels authentic for you? Try something small, such as asking someone you trust to listen to an idea you’ve had and not yet dared to share. Post about something you believe in or matters to you on LinkedIn, so people get to see an aspect of you they haven’t known about. Even something as small as making a clothing change that shows your real personality can be a good way to start being bolder.

• Choose to celebrate yourself

I suggest you make this idea a part of every day! Acknowledge yourself for creating a daily ritual, for taking thoughtful actions, for each small — and big — thing you contribute to, or initiate, or see through in your day. As my clients and audiences know, I think saying a spirited “YAY ME!” at each of these moments is a powerful practice to make part of your life!

We get to create our lives each day

New beginnings are wonderful — and holidays that highlight the start of a new year, whether religious or secular, are a gift.  

Knowing that we can make each and every day a new start, that we can fill each day with awareness, and make commitments to ourselves for how we want to live our biggest best day, fills me with inspiration.

I hope it does you, as well.

Take a moment to imagine your life a year from today, having made clear commitments to Live Big each day.

Savor that vision, and commit to making it your reality.

I am always happy to connect with you, to hear about your deep desires for a life that fulfills you, and help you gain clarity and insight about what is limiting you now, and what is possible. Email me — and we’ll make a date to talk.

Unlock the power of daily reflection.

Most of us launch into our days, moving through a brisk morning routine and then attending meetings and handling tasks and projects that fill our packed calendars. We end the day only to start again the next morning.

In the midst of a busy life, it’s easy to loose sight of the opportunity we each have to pause, reflect and make simple choices that can have a big positive impact.

Three questions you can ask yourself today

If, instead of moving from one thing to the next as quickly as possible, you choose to briefly stop, breathe quietly for a minute ot two, and then ask yourself a good question, you can change the tone and intensity of any busy day.

Here are questions you may want to choose from:

1. What one thing really matters now?

When you choose this question and focus on the top thing that matters most right now, you are able to bring both awareness and clarity to your day. Your attention will no longer be splattered.

This pause enables you to consider how you might reshuffle other things on the calendar if that is needed, or who you can ask to help you, or what resources are available that you had not considered as you rushed though the day.

2. What will me happy now?

It’s easy to forget that you deserve to be happy, and that there is always an opportunity to have moments of pleasure in your life — even when things are busy!

This is not a frivolous or selfish thing to make a priority, It is self-loving. And when you honor yourself by choosing to inject happiness into your day, you put positive fuel in your engine.

  • Maybe a quick text or call to someone special will lift your spirits. 

  • Maybe a short walk in nature, or a stop at a lovely cafe will give you a boost. 

  • Maybe planning something special you can look forward to doing at the end of your day will light up your heart.

3. What promise can I make to myself now?

This question offers you a terrific opportunity to reflect on something you want to commit to — for yourself, for your wellbeing.

Tap your heart and find something that you want.

Keep in mind that small desires are a great for two reasons — they matter, and they will not make you feel overwhelmed.

Here are some prompts that may get you started:

  • You might promise yourself to get to bed a little earlier. 

  • You might promise yourself to ask for something you have held back on requesting.

  • You might promise yourself to be kinder — to yourself or someone else. 

  • You might promise yourself to follow through on a task you have been avoiding.

  • You might promise yourself to be a bit bolder today.

  • You might promise yourself to start planning an adventure you have been longing to take.

This small daily practice can bring big shifts

We tend to underestimate the significant impact that small actions can have.

You may want to remind yourself to ask one of these questions each day (and you may have other questions you want to add).

Why not download this graphic, print it, and use it as a reminder?

I’d be happy to hear about how this practice works for you.

And I am always happy to talk about how you want to Live Big.

Email me today! 

What future are you choosing?

Have you ever paused to think that you choose your future every day?

Your decisions, your choices, and the actions you take each day have a tremendous impact on the life you will lead down the road.

Are you a drifter?

Sadly, most people drift through their lives. When I look back I see all the ways I had drifted for a long time.

Yes, I made some bold decisions. Some of the important ones, in addition to choosing the partner to spend my life with and deciding to have children, were leaving a corporate job to start my first business; deciding not to relocate for a job that was going to pay me handsomely, but upon reflection I realized would not make me happy; and my most recent great decision — to sell my business, explore, and find a new direction that I would really love.

I was focused about making each of those decisions.

And, I know that I lived much of my life without focusing intentionally.

For years I moved on autopilot through daily routines.

I kept up with demands and put out fires. I frequently said yes to requests without thinking about the “opportunity cost” of those yesses.

I rarely stopped to consider the ways I was living and where those ways of living were taking me — until I had my big wake-up call (to sell my business in 2011).

It was then that I realized that I had the opportunity to make thoughtful, careful, well-considered decisions all the time. 

What I learned was that each of my decisions leads me to a life that I create, rather than living by default as I had for so long.

What future are you choosing?

Your choices point you in a direction, which is why it is worth considering the choices you make.

Are your choices aligned with what really matters to you?

Think about choices like:

  • who you spend time with

  • what you listen to and read

  • how you spend your free time

  • how you show up in the world — from the clothes you wear to what you say (and do not say)

Think about how clear you are about what you want. This will let you live with a vision to guide you, so you can more easily live with intention.

And think about how clear — and how big — your vision is.

What choices are you making today?

Sit with that question for a few minutes. Consider your choices, and how they line up with your dreams.

Jot down lots of your choices — like those related to the people in your life, your habits (that may or may not be ideal), the responsibilities and opportunities that your have taken on or are considering now, and more.

When you see them clearly noted on paper, you can assess whether they are positive and affirming, or if there are things you want to change.

Your next step (that will now be easier to implement) is to be more self-aware as you consider all of your daily choices, and the bigger choices and decisions that are right for you.

Watch for significant rewards!

As you build your awareness and choose carefully, things will begin to change in marvelous was.

And when more of us live with intention, choosing with care and moving in directions that are fully fulfilling, more lives will change for the better. More of us will be happy and energized, and people around us will feel and see it!

We can impact our families, our communities, our workplaces and beyond!

My vision is for accomplished women everywhere to boldly step into their power, make great choices so they show up with clarity and passion and realize all that is possible for them.

I see legions of women leading and inspiring others in incredible ways.

Please join me! As each of you chose with intention and make your life the best it can be, this vision will grow organically.

I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds.



Is it time to go deeper?

Here’s a question to consider:

When was the last time you stepped into something bigger and new, to explore something different or intriguing — even if you were a bit uncomfortable?

Late last year I decided to explore a new creative direction, not knowing if it would be great or a bust.

In late December I signed up to attend a weekend writing retreat. The focus was on writing "from the deep voice.” As much as I love writing my weekly Big Ideas, and had loved writing my book, this was a way of expressing myself that I’d never considered before. 

I was especially nervous because all of the other women at the retreat had been immersed in the work with this teacher for some time. 

Is it time to explore a deeper part of yourself?

As a coach who is passionate about the power of creativity and living a creative, BIG life (and a person who loves words), I listened to the whisper in my heart that was intrigued about what writing from the deep voice might be like.

I figured the upside was that I would have fun, and maybe even find a direction that would have meaningful resonance for me.

The worst thing that could happen would be I’d have spent 2 days doing something that did not excite me, and I might feel embarrassed that I was not “good at it.”

I said yes to the small whisper I heard — it was a “yes” to myself.

I said yes to trying something new in spite of my nervousness.

That weekend retreat opened up a path that has been exciting and enriching for me ever since.

In fact, a story I wrote was just published in an anthology, and I was part of a book-reading on Sunday at which 7 authors read their work, answered questions from the audience, and signed piles of books.

What is waiting for you if you say “Yes!”?

If you feel your heart asking for expansion, the timing is perfect.

You can get clear about the future you want to make your reality!

That may mean creating a life that feels exciting and supports your happiness and wellbeing.

It may mean courageously aiming to reach the next level in your career or business.

It may mean leaving a toxic work or personal situation with clarity and strength.

It may mean planning for the next phase of an evolving life — as you leave burnout behind, launch a new business, or step into a fulfilling retirement.

It may include building new levels of confidence to show up more fully and boldly, so you have your biggest impact.

It starts with one small, easy “Yes.”

This “Yes” does not call on bravery, and there’s no risk of embarrassment.

There’s also no cost, other than 30 minutes of your time for a call with me.

This call can open big possibility.

It’s an opportunity for us to have a meaningful conversation, and for you to gain insight and perspective about your life now, as well as your dreams.

And if you wish to hear about it, we can talk about Live Big Live! — the powerful, intimate, fun and life-changing retreat that is coming up this fall.

Email me, or schedule your call here.

(And if you want to learn about Writing from the Deep Voice, I would be happy to introduce you to my marvelous teacher, Leslie Berliant. Email me, and I’ll make an introduction. And you can check out the lovely anthology here.)

Are you ready to follow a new path?

Something big is starting soon.

It’s an opportunity for you to take a new step in your life.

Where are you now?

Perhaps you are at a crossroads.

Maybe new opportunities are available to you and you are unsure, or fearful, about how to proceed.

Maybe you know it’s time for a change in your life. Or you may feel stuck.

Maybe you know there's something bigger, something more that you yearn for — something that will make you feel lit up every day.

Maybe you are ready to leave stress behind and live a joyous life, one that sustains you financially and has space for your spirit to soar.

These questions may prompt you to think about your career, personal relationships, the day-to-day quality of your life, long-held dreams, or the next chapter you are ready to move into.

The change you yearn for is attainable!

As I personally experienced, and as I witness with great women like you all the time, there are key moments when we know a change is upon us.

Some of us hear a shout. Many of us hear a quiet whisper. We feel desire stirring, to leave the status quo behind and venture forward in a new way.

And if you are like I was, it may feel daunting to figure it all out. Looking back, I doubt I would have been able to find my new path on my own, much less start living the bigger life I relish now.

Having a guide to support me was crucial.

You, too, can be supported to step into your best life.

Say yes to yourself!

If you know it’s time to get on the path to a truly fulfilling future — getting clear about your vision and knowing how to create that life — you may feel excited to take a big leap. Or, you may want to take it slowly, with a series of small steps.

Both options are available to you. They both work.

The first step is to say “Yes!” to yourself.

The next step can be to explore the Live Big Live! program that has just opened for enrollment.

Click here to book a free call with me to see if the upcoming retreat may be right for you.

Let’s talk soon!


Read what past attendees of Live Big Live! have said — and check out some photos of the retreat experience:

“I said ‘yes’ to myself and I am so glad I did. I loved the experience. After a challenging year, I found self-forgivness. I feel unstuck! I opened my heart and I have hope! And I know I am headed for someplace good. This was a deep and meaningful experience!”

........

“This experience has changed me in so many ways! This work opens you up to yourself, to your dreams and your goals, and it gets you there gently, steadily, and with so much love. I truly feel I can achieve what I dream of accomplishing. Rochelle is an incredibly gifted and magnificent coach. I also love being surrounded by such amazing women in this supportive space.”

........

“I was looking for personal development with a goal of improving my business results, and Rochelle turned out to be a wonderful resource to help me accomplish both. From setting a foundation of knowing more and celebrating more about myself through Enneagram studies, to building awareness of how limiting language and thoughts can bleed into our results, Rochelle offers a wide variety of tools that have helped unblock me time after time.

The results (so far!): my short, medium and long term visions are clear and exciting. I find myself taking steps forward daily that I would have avoided or put off in the past, and I am earning more money independently in my business than I ever earned from an employer. Life with Rochelle's guidance is truly a new, more joyful and fruitful way of living for me.”

........ 

“After the process we moved through, about knowing yourself and who you want to be in your life, and what you want to do and have, and watching all that unfold, it has really been spectacular.”

........

“This has been a tremendous gift to myself! I definitely recommend this program! You will come together with other women who are committed to the process. You will learn from everyone’s story and everyone’s journey. It’s so much more powerful than doing it alone. And you can go at your own pace. I made it part of my life, in the process before the retreat — and at the retreat. You incorporate it into your daily thinking and it becomes part of the practice of life, something I use every day.”

........

“Definitely do it! Open yourself up to the process. Some things will come with ease and others are harder. It's the harder things I suggest you lean into. Things open up, they change! I have new courage, new confidence.”

Setting healthy boundaries can be easier than you think

Last week I wrote about boundaries — what they are and why they matter so much. If you missed “Part 1” of this topic, you may want to click here and read about it.

As promised, today I’m sharing ways you can set boundaries without distress, to help you live your best life.

To begin, it can be helpful to check in and ask yourself how you relate to boundaries.

How do you feel about setting boundaries?

We all have the opportunity to draw the lines — create boundaries — that align with and protect our desires, values and preferences.

And, most people shy away from setting boundaries.

Many do not feel comfortable saying, “No.” They do not feel confident stating what is on their mind and setting standards that are aligned with what is right for them.

Here are a few reasons people shy away from setting boundaries:

Many people hate to say “No” because they want to be nice.

This fear of not being nice is people-pleasing — something remarkably common among both men and women.

People-pleasers are focused on making other people happy or trying to get others to like them. This focus typically starts when people are young, and can be deeply ingrained.

They aim to avoid conflict to such a degree that they are willing to put their own needs, values and preferences behind those of others.

Many people are afraid to lose love or approval.

We all long for love and approval. Many people are so afraid of rejection or disapproval that they do not ask for what they need, or ask for something different, or assert themselves.

When you compromise this way, you fail to make your own well-being your top priority. It is also typical to feel unworthy of love and approval. Thus you are willing to sacrifice your own contentment, satisfaction and happiness. This often results in resentment and unhappiness.

Many people simply do not know how to set boundaries — even when they yearn for them.

This is the easiest challenge to overcome.

When you know the boundary you want to establish — be it setting a firm limit about when you are available and when you are not; or stating that you will no longer take on every task someone asks you to help with; or establishing a clear policy about lending things to others; or setting an “energetic boundary” to keep painful actions and remarks from wounding your heart; or anything else — you can get crystal clear about why that boundary matters to you.

Why do you want to change the way things are now?

What will change for the better when the new boundary is in place?

Think about how you will feel, the time that will open up for you, the benefits to the relationship you have with another person, etc.

When you have the what and the why clearly in mind, implementing the boundary (the how) is going to be easier than you may think.

How to set any boundary, in 3 steps

When you are clear about a given boundary you want to set, and why it matters, follow these steps to set and hold that boundary.

1. Articulate the boundary clearly and specifically.

Start by getting crystal clear about the person or people you will set this boundary with. One person may be your focus now, but there may be others with whom that boundary also needs to be set.

Next, be very clear about what the boundary entails, and what it will look like when it is in place.

With this clarity you will be ready to communicate the specifics to the party or parties you have identified.

2. Understand that you can communicate boundaries with kindness.

Some boundaries are low-stakes, and may not feel intimidating to set. And, even the boundaries you feel most concerned about setting can be set with kindness.

Keep in mind that “kind” is different than “nice.” You do not need to fall into people-pleasing mode at all! You can kindly tell someone that you have commitments that preclude you from taking on new volunteer assignments, or that you are no longer able to answer calls on the weekend, or that you have established a new policy about loaning money.

Keep in mind, too, that your boundaries are kind to yourself, and that that is important!

3. Stay consistent.

Once you have communicated the new boundary, you may find that others do not fully respect that boundary. They may hope you will “relax the rule” or make exceptions for them. They may forget out of habit. They may try to persuade you to return to the pre-boundary way of interacting.

Keep the reason the boundary mattered to you to start with firmly in mind. Stay clear and determined about sustaining your new policy.

In time, people will either honor your boundary or not. If they choose not to honor your boundary you will have important information and can make a decision about making changes to that relationship.

Start small, but start!

Whether you are nervous about setting any new boundary, or you feel called to set a bold boundary, it will be best to start with setting a small, low-stakes boundary.

One that is likely to be easy for others to accept (and may be harder for you to stick to!), is to set limits on when you will respond to emails. You may want to add a signature to your emails stating when people will receive replies from you. (For example, you might say that you check emails twice each day, at 9:00am and 4:00pm, and that you respond to emails within 24 hours.)

After you have a couple of easy-to-communicate boundaries in place, you can aim for setting a boundary that is a bit more emotionally weighty. Being clear about the new boundary, and having a plan in place to communicate with kindness, you are likely to feel ready to declare your new boundary.

Big rewards await you

Be sure, after you have established each boundary, to take note of the impact it has for you, and celebrate yourself — you deserve to feel proud!

Each boundary you put in place creates clear space for you to bring more joy, more play, more creativity and more of what lights you up into your life.

That is what living big is all about!

Boundaries — what they are and why to love them

Many women I talk to fail to consider — or actively avoid — setting boundaries.

I know that I had not given boundaries much thought for most of my life. And when I began to think about setting boundaries, a lot of discomfort showed up.

The truth, that I have come to understand and experience, is that each boundary you set is a gift to yourself. And boundaries can always be set with kindness. 

This is a big topic — in fact, so big that I will address different types of boundaries now, as well as why they are important. Next week I will share ways to set boundaries that will help you live your best life.

Consider two types of boundaries

There are physical boundaries and abstract personal boundaries. Both of these categories are important.

Physical boundaries

Physical boundaries include things like walls and fences. We can all recall what moats with drawbridges look like, that were built in medieval times to protect castles from invaders.

When we set a physical boundary, we are making it explicit to people to respect our space and not intrude on our privacy. 

You may want to set physical boundaries related to the kinds of physical contact you welcome — and contact you do not want. Perhaps you hate being hugged. Perhaps you don’t like being in crowded places. 

You may want to create private physical spaces, indoors (such as a room of your own) or outdoors (think fences and walls), where you can have solitude or pursue personal projects or activities. You may want people to knock before entering a room you occupy.

You may want to create a private space where your personal belongings, such as journals or keepsakes, will not be seen by others.

You may set boundaries related to material things you are willing/not willing to share, such as objects or money.

Some people need to set boundaries to have private spaces that will protect their safety.

Emotional boundaries

An emotional personal boundary is a limit, or rule, that you set with others (and sometimes with yourself) to delineate things that are important to you and your wellbeing.

In short, by setting these boundaries you make clear what is acceptable to you.

Emotional boundaries can relate to your time in a variety of ways.

When are you available? This can be to take phone calls or answer emails, or available to help with doing tasks for others. 

What tasks are you willing to take on, such as saying yes to doing “favors” for people, or doing more than your “fair share” (at home and at work)?

Emotional boundaries relate to your spirit, too. In these cases, you are setting limits to protect your emotional wellbeing.

For instance, you may choose which information to share and things to keep to yourself.

Or, if you have compromised your wellbeing by tolerating a relationship that is not healthy for you, you may know that a change is needed.

Here is another example. Maybe you allow others’ behavior to distress you, rather than creating a virtual, energetic boundary to protect your wellbeing — even in the face of their insensitivity or deliberately hurtful actions.

Why not bring awareness to places and situations where new or better boundaries will be helpful, in order to bring you more happiness and/or reduce stress in your life?

The gifts that boundaries deliver

While it may feel uncomfortable to think about setting boundaries — with people you are close to, with colleagues and clients, with strangers — you will reap many benefits. 

You will feel increased self-confidence and happiness.

Your relationships will be stronger and better when you clearly communicate what you want and do not want, as well as what you need and what are unwilling to tolerate.

You will feel great when you hold your standards, without guilt or apologies.

You will protect your spirit and feel grounded and clear.

Doesn’t all of that sound great?

Next week I will share ways to set new boundaries. It is often less “hard” to do than you may think!

What would it be like for you to feel freer?

When July 4 rolls around each year I naturally think of freedom. You probably do, too.

What resonates for me deeply this year is how free I feel. 

Specific questions I am asking myself now are:

  • How free do I feel to show up in the world boldly?

  • How free do I feel to allow myself to play?

  • How free do I feel to start down new paths rather than sticking to the status quo, because that’s what I’m used to.

Whether these questions resonate for you at this moment in your life, or you have others that are particular to you now, I invite you to start exploring.

How free do you feel?

Let’s consider the three questions that keep coming to mind for me. Join me in being curious and see what comes up for you.

1. Do you feel free to boldly show the world who you are — without a mask, without holding back?

I gave a new talk this weekend titled, Embrace Your Bold: How to Amplify Your Voice and Increase Your Impact.

I opened the talk by sharing the impressions I used to have about of what “bold” looked like (such as being loud, and fearlessly doing daring feats). Those concepts of boldness turned me off, and made me doubt how bold I could be.

I also told the audience how I had tried to fake being bold in the past — and how those attempts had always failed. I explained that I have learned that being bold is a deeply personal set of choices, and there are ways to find your own bold, so you naturally and genuinely amplify your voice and increase your impact.

It was a short talk. There is much more I will cover when I expand the talk to a full keynote and deliver it in the fall. For now, I am pondering many ways I want to be bolder in my life, and what hampers me.

I invite you to consider this question, too. It will likely reveal things you have not brought into focus before.

2. Do you feel free to be playful, to lighten up, and let your spirit fly — just for the joy of it?

This question came to mind for me as I spent time with colleagues who were truly playful and joyous when they spoke on the stage before and after my talk.

I yearn to tap and express more of that light, playful energy, and am thinking about how I will begin — today!

3. Do you feel free to explore new options and make changes?

I have been asking myself about changes I want to make for the past few months. I am getting get super-clear, and I have been implementing them, one small step after another.

One decision became clear for me after my wonderful month living in Paris this past winter. I want to adjust the ways I spend my time so that I can paint more and write more. My soul yearns for more space for my own creative expression, and I have started making meaningful adjustments.

What about you?

Might you be stuck in a groove out of habit — about your work, or a relationship? Perhaps you are not honoring a deep desire?

Do you love things as they are, or do you realize you are ready to make a shift?

Are you holding back on making changes because they feel scary?

Feeling free enough to ask and explore the questions is step one!

Try using this special tool!

I created a guide to help you bring full self-expression into your life. It is colorful and fun to use. You will find that the more you are able to be fully self-expressed, the freer you will feel!

Download the guide here (no email needed!), and see what happens for you. 

Let’s all make this a season to activate glorious personal freedom!

My bonus tip to help you live big NOW!

Last week I shared 5 steps you can take to start making small steady changes that will help you live your biggest, most satisfying life.

If you missed it, or want to review the steps again, you can read it here.

The steps were designed to make it easy to bring a small and meaningful change in your life.

The objective is for you to see notable change quickly, so you can build momentum, and be able to make more positive shifts to the old habits that have been robbing you of time and space for what matters most to you.

Here’s a short recap of the 5 steps:

1. First identify one small shift you want to make.
2. Choose innovative ways to keep yourself focused.
3. Make a plan for the action you will take.
4. Track your progress.
5. Keep going — even if you stall, keep going and then build on your progress!

My mission is to help accomplished women everywhere all live their biggest, best lives!

Is the 5-step process is helping you?

Are you already noticing positive changes?

Whether you have started using the steps, or now want to begin to implement this gentle path to living a bigger, more satisfying life, I am excited to share one more idea today.

It can help you make the progress you desire with even more ease.

Watch your words!

This suggestion is subtle but powerful.

The language you use in your self-talk has a big impact on your thinking, and thus your actions.

I wrote about the power of self-talk to make your life easier in a post last year, that you can check out here

And here’s another post about the power of positivity.

To put this big idea to work, take note of times you use encouraging, supportive ways of speaking to yourself, and be aware of times you let criticism or negativity fill your thoughts.

When your language is positive and encouraging, your energy flows in great ways, and the outcomes of your efforts — no matter what you are focused on doing — will be noticeably better.

You always have the opportunity to turn negativity into positive thoughts and energy, and it is easier to do that than most people think.

Two examples of positive language to adopt

1. Eliminate the “shoulds”

Here is a common way that we make things hard for ourselves, that with a little attention, can be shifted to make things significantly easier and more pleasant.

If you find yourself thinking about what you should do, pause and shift to phrasing it as what you want to do, or what you get to do.

Can you see what happens when you swap in a few new words for “should”?

Instead of berating yourself or trying to force yourself to do something, you choose that thing!

When you change the words, your energy will come from a place of desire and/or opportunity. And what happens next will be remarkably better than starting with a should!

2. Add one new word

If you feel your progress is slower than you’d like — in making a small change of habits, or reaching a milestone, or completing a challenging task — instead of beating yourself up you can add the word “yet” to your thought.

For instance, if you are focused on speaking up more boldly, a new statement can look like this: 
“I have not had the courage to bring up that touchy subject with my colleague yet.”

Or, if you are trying to get more rest to feel your best, a new statement can look like this:
“I have not adjusted my bedtime yet, but I will test a new change to my routine tonight.”

Can you feel the energetic boost of simply adding “yet” to those sentences?

Awareness is powerful

When you slow down enough to bring awareness to the language you use in your self-talk, as well as when speaking with others, great things can happen with more ease and speed than you may be able to imagine now.

The more that you bring small, positive changes into your life, the more you will show up in new, big ways. I predict that you will love that expansive bigger version of you!

Email me and let me know how these suggestions work for you. And if you have questions I’ll be happy to hear them and get back to you.

This is your time to live big!

Ready to live bigger? Start with these 5 steps!

Most accomplished women I talk with express a desire to live a truly balanced and fulfilling life. While they yearn to show up fully every day, have an impact, and thrive, many confide that they feel limited and frustrated in their efforts to make that vision their reality.

Most take on too much.

Some don’t advocate for what they want — in their professional lives and in personal relationships.

They put their needs (for self-care, pursuit of personal interests, quiet time and more) behind those of others.

They compromise.

While they love the idea of living their biggest life, it does not feel natural for many of them to think of changing the ways they currently operate. Or they simply do not know where to begin to make changes.

Some even feel that the idea of living big may be too much — too much to expect for themselves, and/or too hard to achieve.

You cannot think too big, or live too big

One thing I know to be true is that all of us can learn, small step followed by small step, to show up fully in the world.

We can create the lives we yearn for!

We can overcome our doubts and limitations to pursue all that we desire and to have our biggest impact.

Can you embrace this truth? 

When you choose to pursue your biggest life, I urge you to be mindful that making significant changes is a process that unfolds over time.

These 5 steps will get the ball rolling.

1. Start with one small shift

When you start with new awareness, add commitment, and are willing to be patient as you make small shifts, you will begin to experience meaningful change.

And you can build on that change over time.

Here is a great place to start:

Ask yourself what small change will have the biggest impact for you now?

Maybe it’s getting more sleep.

Maybe it’s speaking up more clearly and boldly for something important.

Maybe it’s saying “No” without feeling guilty.

Maybe you will choose something else.

Make a choice!

2. Focus on that change

To help you stay focused, make reminders for yourself.

Use your phone, or put colored post-it notes on your desk, your bathroom mirror, your coffee-maker, and your laptop.  

You can ask for help from a trusted friend. They can be a sounding board, and might text you every day at a particular time to see how it’s going. 

Be creative and have fun with ways to keep yourself focused on this meaningful change.

3. Make a plan

For instance, if more rest is key for you now, will you get to bed earlier? Might you take a power nap at a time when your energy drops?

If you want to feel less discomfort saying “No,” you might journal in the morning and write about why it is important for you to stop crowding your days with obligations to others, rather than yourself.

Then, if you know a request is pending, or someone is waiting for an answer, or you simply want to be forearmed, take some time to practice kind ways to decline the request. 

4. Track your progress

Subtle changes can be hard to notice. Keep a small journal, or a running record on a device, to record the daily efforts you make and the outcomes you experience.

Take note of what works and what does not meet your expectations so you build on positive approaches. And note specific outcomes as they occur. 

If you have an accountability buddy or a coach, ask for feedback as you share your progress and your outcomes.

And acknowledge your progress — even small shifts are worthy of celebrating! It is the small shifts that become new habits, and your new normal. 

5. Keep going!

As you bring small changes into your life, and experience the way they enhance your wellbeing, momentum will build.

You will be ready to identify and embrace new changes you want to make, and you will likely feel increased confidence and enthusiasm about pursuing them.

This is how living big works.

As we each expand and live the satisfying life we desire today, we see more and more opportunity ahead.

We can all continue to step up and live with even more passion and authenticity and joy. And our impact is amplified as we continue to shine more and more brightly.

I invite you to join me on this path of expansion. My dream is for all of us to live all of our greatness. Let’s Live Big together!

(And if you’d like to share your vision of your biggest life, I’d be delighted to hear about it. Email me and we’ll make a date to talk.)

The power of YES

Do you say “Yes” to yourself?

For what do you say “Yes” to yourself — and how often?

And how big are your yeses?

I pose these questions because I frequently observe great women who say yes to other people, yes to requests and demands, and yes to undertaking tasks all the time, yet they do not comfortably and easily say yes to themselves, or yes to what they desire.

Many women are not clear about what they really want, or if they are, they feel it is unrealistic to expect that realizing their desires is possible.

Do you agree that these are, sadly, missed opportunities? 

When I imagine a world where more women bring all of their greatness forward, and are filled with positive energy, confidence and joy as they do it — so they live big! — it quickens my heart and brings a huge smile to my face.  

I want to tell you about a remarkable group of women who said yes to themselves in a big way, and what that looked like.

Three days that changed six lives

Six remarkable women said “Yes” to getting crystal clear about their vision for themselves in the months and year ahead, and “Yes” to determining what it will take to make that vision a reality.

They said “Yes” to embarking on a process of self-discovery and finding their truth — the gamut of their truth (the exciting and inspiring, and the painful truth, too). They were willing to find and grapple with all of it. 

They showed up for themselves and were willing to go deep. They stayed in the process when it they hit tender places and rejoiced in the aha moments and the play and fun of creating in powerful experiences.

They all said “Yes” to being a part of the Live Big Live! retreat we shared this past weekend — a program that started with a six-week gentle journey of self-discovery and culminated in life-changing breakthroughs that were made at the retreat.

The women shared and supported each other with love and generosity throughout the experience. They pushed their edges. They created. They discovered. They declared. They each set a course for how they will make their visions a reality.

They made commitments to themselves— often in ways they did not expect before they embarked on the journey.

All of the clarity that emerged for them inspired them to leave the retreat with huge appreciation for and excitement about all that they can and want to BE, all they can and want to DO, and all that they can and want to HAVE, to create a truly fulfilling future.

It was a joy and an honor to usher in these tremendous insights and to guide and mentor these fabulous women.

Is this your time to say “Yes”?

At each of the three Live Big Live! retreats I offer each year I witness transformations and joy, and this spring retreat was simply fantastic.

Check out the photos below to get a peek at what happened this weekend, and to see some of the amazing art that was created.

And read what a few of the participants had to say at the close of the retreat.

Are you curious about what this opportunity might mean for you?

Let me know if you feel the call (or even a small whisper) to say a bigger “Yes!” to yourself.

I am already meeting with women to see if the Fall Live Big Live! is a fit for them, and I would be happy for you to share what you desire and what’s in your way now.

I can tell you more about the program. And if you are interested, we can determine together if Live Big Live! may provide you the breakthroughs to help you create your most fulfilling life.

Email me and we'll make a date.

Here are some of the thoughts that were shared at the end of the Spring Live Big Live! retreat:

“This work is beautiful — filled with love, grace and help. It is life altering! Rochelle’s program has lead me through what could have been a disheartening journey. The work with her, and having this experience, provides me with a constructive, creative, enjoyable process of self-discovery and learning to live more expansively and completely.”

“Rochelle provides a supportive environment to go deeper, gain clarity and move your life forward. She sees people. She gives them the freedom and space to let down their guard, and the love and attention to grapple with some really substantial life questions. We all find more of our truth, more of ourselves, and grow.”

“The Live Big Live! retreat experience gives you the time you need to gain a better understanding of who you are and what you want. The retreat provides a space in which to explore what might be holding you back from living the life you want and deserve.”

“This experience has changed me in so many ways! This work opens you up to yourself, to your dreams and your goals, and it gets you there gently, steadily, and with so much love. I truly feel I can achieve what I dream of accomplishing. Rochelle is an incredibly gifted and magnificent coach. I also love being surrounded by such amazing women in this supportive space.”

Turn pain into possibility

So many of us get stuck when we feel anger, pain, frustration and bitterness.

Last week, I wrote about why it’s important to fully feel and release difficult emotions, and shared ways to do that so you can move forward. If you missed it, you may want to check out those tips.

Today we’ll dive into what to do once you have released the hold of the emotions, so that you can move ahead when you feel freer.

It’s time to take a new approach

Now that you feel free of the grip of bitterness/anger/disappointment, you have an opportunity to more clearly consider the dynamic that set off the reaction.

If what bothered you was something fleeting, like a remark from a rude stranger, it may have been easy to move on once you let yourself go all the way into your feelings and release them.

But what if you are faced with a situation that’s a recurring challenge — say, someone at work or in your family who behaves in ways that trouble you, or sees things differently than you do?

Nearly everyone experiences this kind of thing.

You may find it helpful to see this as an opportunity. I know that may sound crazy, but hear me out.

Consider these new ways of moving forward:

  • You have an opportunity to calmly state your case or express your point of view or suggested next steps. This may call on you to have a conversation in a different way than in the past. Get help if you need it, to be able to show up calmly and speak your truth.

  • You can set new boundaries with that person, to minimize the likelihood of repeats in the future. This can mean minimizing contact with that person or setting conditions for ways you will interact.

  • You can set new energetic boundaries for yourself when you decide not let someone else’s actions cause you pain. To do this, you might try seeing the other person operating the best they can, with limitations or different standards than yours. See if you can take it less personally. You might also feel compassion for them and send them love. 

  • Let go of doubt. It may feel odd to approach things in a new way, but with practice you will get better and better at using these tools and finding your strength in situations that are hard for you now.

  • Do not rehash. It is easy to replay and ruminate in the pain, which makes it hard to let go of the pain. Having taken good steps forward, do your best not to talk and think about it.

You have the opportunity to create rather than react

Yes, rather than reacting to things that sting on the fly, you always have the opportunity to create new ways of responding and moving forward in your life.

And, in this case, when you start with expressive creativity (to feel the emotions and move them through you), and follow that step with creating new ways to approach challenges in the future, you are creating the best possible conditions to support your wellbeing. 

With practice this process gets easier

Depending on the painful situations you face, the methods described last week and here may work perfectly the first time, or they may take ongoing practice — as has been my experience. 

If you keep in mind that your objective is to protect and strengthen your energy, and support your wellbeing so that you can bring all of your power into everything you do, you will find these approaches easier to master.

If you’d like support with any of this work, email me and we'll make a date to talk.

How to loosen the grip of painful feelings

It’s easy to get derailed by interactions and events that feel upsetting.

Whether it is in a moment when someone cuts you off in traffic, or when you interact with a person you know well who says or does something hurtful (often repeating a pattern of behaviour that has hurt before) it is easy to feel angry, bitter, shaken, wounded.

And while those feelings are valid and not to be brushed aside, there are ways to process the emotions to move forward feeling lighter and better, that you may not have considered.

Today I will share some first steps you can take when you are faced with upsetting emotions.

And next week, I will provide additional guidance to help you move forward once the grip of the emotion is released.

Feel your feelings — and then release them

It is important to acknowledge and feel what you feel. It is also important to learn how to transform the challenging emotion at hand, so you can move forward free of it.

It can be tempting to brush painful feelings aside, assuming they will simply dissipate. But that’s actually an illusion. Troubled emotions that we do not honor and work through inevitably show up in ways that have a negative impact. 

Or, you may tightly hold on to tough emotions.

Perhaps the pain and anger you feel in a relationship with someone, or another ongoing situation, are so ingrained that those emotions pop up automatically at the smallest provocation.

Emotions like these need to be released so you can begin to disrupt the pattern.

Try using some or many of these tips and see what happens. 

Ways to process and release painful feelings

To feel the feelings, and fully express them to wring them out, you might:

  • Sit and free-write in a journal.

  • Go for a long walk in nature, or go for a run, if that's how you like to move energy. 

  • Scream into a pillow, like a friend of mine recommends.

  • Stand in the shower and scream or cry out the emotions you feel. 

  • Slam a stuffed doll at a table — over and over and over. 

  • Crank up loud music and dance the emotions out.

  • Make a series of hideously ugly drawings to wring out all the painful emotions. (This is one of my favorite techniques!)

It is important to let yourself go all the way into the emotions and use the way or ways that work best for you to let as much of it go as possible.

The process takes practice to master

You may find yourself needing to do multiple rounds, or trying multiple approaches, until you feel you have worked through and emptied as much of the unpleasant emotion as possible.

Situations that ignite difficult emotions can come at us unexpectedly. When they do pop up, be patient with yourself. Building awareness and carving out space to address those powerful emotions will help you feel better and think more clearly.

Next week, I will share approaches you can take that will build on this foundation of releasing the emotional charge.

Until then, have a great week.

(And if you’re ready to live your biggest, best life, you can book a quick call with me to talk about what that can look like.)