Shifting perspective shifts energy

For most of us, each day is full — there’s work to do, family and friends to interact with, there are time-sensitive matters that arise, and external events compete for our attention.

It is easy to feel scattered, easy to focus on others and local and world events, easy to feel pulled into drama that is not ours.

When this happens to me, as has often been the case lately, I remind myself of a few things. They may be helpful for you.

We each have limited control

While it is tempting to try and control, or fix, or change things that concern us, we can only control ourselves.

We can make suggestions, offer to help, look into resources, and listen with an open heart.

But we cannot control the actions another person or group will take. Nor can we control their emotions.

The key is to stay focused on the control we have:

• for the lens through which we choose to see things

• for the responses we choose to bring to a given situation

• to consider what lesson we can learn

• to consider how a situation is here for us

• to send loving energy to others

• to hold love for ourselves. 

We always have the opportunity to create

Even when tension runs high, it is possible to create a response rather than default to anger, fear, disappointment, anxiety or bitterness.

How?

• Create a few quiet moments to breathe, connect to your heart, and get grounded.

• Create some questions about what other ways you can consider to see the situation.

• Create new thoughts to anchor to, that are supportive and calm.

• Create a new next action to take that serves you and helps, if there is help to offer. 

• Create peace in yourself when you have done the best you can, or at times where you have no opportunity to effect change.

The bottom line

We can each only live our own life. And that is powerful!

There is unlimited potential to harness that power and and there are unlimited ways to use it.

When you take ownership of your thoughts, your responses, and the actions you take, you build strength.

You are a powerful creator of a life that is focused, resilient, and self-loving.

Your strength, in turn, allows you to do the most good, no matter what is happening around you.

And, to reach a state where you can stand in your power in the midst of whatever daily events show up, takes time, practice and patience.

It happens one small step at a time. 

Are you ready for something new?

This weekend I was immersed in the past. I lost my father in November, and the house he and my mother lived in has just been sold.

My sisters and I are in the process of emptying the house, and my job the last few days has been going through mountains of family photos — many from boxes of my grandparents that have been sitting in the basement of my parents’ house for decades.

Treasures have been found, emotions have been sparked, and I am gaining insights about how lives have been lived over long spans of time.

Seeing my parents, and their parents, in the bloom of youth and as they aged, is very sweet.

Seeing myself as an infant, during my childhood, as a gawky teenager, a young adult, a bride, and a mother, I am reflecting on the life I have lived, and the life I am living now.

How are you living your life?

Looking back at my professional life, it’s clear that I started in a career I enjoyed, and that I continued for several decades without considering if it was really fulfilling. 

What I became aware of, when in 2009 I hired my first coach to help me with my business, was that I had been drifting through my life without looking at or thinking deeply about the big picture.

I, like most busy professionals, was focused primarily on what was right in front of me. Added to work, raising children, serving on boards, making time to be with my husband, and managing a household, and my attention and focus were fully occupied.

Things seemed to be fine.

What was pivotal for me was working with a coach who asked me to took clearly at my life, and how I was showing up in it. 

When I did that, I saw a lot I had not noticed before. Slow steps followed by more small steps, I started to see many ways I was not showing up fully in my life. I also realized I no longer loved the work I had been doing for nearly 3 decades.

Most significantly, I realized I was ready to make changes.

What does it mean to be ready?

There are times when you know you are ready — for something new, something different, something more exciting. You feel it, and you take a step to bring that change into your life.

More frequently, the question of “being ready” — to look for or accept that new job, to make that big decision, to step into something different even if it is not fully defined in your mind — is one that feels unsettling, or even frightening.

I believe that when you start to get curious and feel a stirring, it is a significant signal from your heart.

Your heart may be “ready” before your head catches up!

That was my experience, and I see it all the time when I speak to women who have hesitated to look deeply, or take action, to explore a stirring they feel.

Fear and doubt show up. Many women are willing to settle for what is now, rather than take a new step.

I get it. 

These 3 steps may help

If you are pondering something new or different and not moving forward, see what happens when you proceed like this:

1. Get clear

First get curious. Ask yourself questions like these, and answer them honestly.

• What is working optimally in your life?

• What feels like a struggle, or feels simply “ok”? 

• What lights you up?

• What do you want more of?

• What do you want less of?

Add more questions that come to mind, and look clearly at what you discover.

2. Set an intention

Your intention can be to research and learn more about a new possibility that you want to consider.

It can be to reach out to people who can advise and/or support you.

It can be to initiate a change — with a very small step, or a larger one.

3. Take action

This step is key.

Until you take some action (remember that small actions count!), and commit to staying in action, one of two things will happen.

Changes that you have declared you want will not happen.

Or you will be at the mercy of inevitable changes that happen around you. Rarely will changes like that match up to what you had envisioned for yourself.

Is it time to say “Yes” to your biggest, best life?

My life was pretty great before I looked closely and decided that I wanted less stress and to be more lit up every day.

I decided to create a more fulfilling future, and I have not stopped creating my life.

I have had great coaches, mentors and teachers who have supported me, inspired me, and believed in me. I am forever grateful to them, and grateful to myself.

I am aware that when I said, “Yes” to myself, I gave myself a gift far greater than I could have imagined on the day I started this journey.

I deeply appreciate all that my grandparents and parents did to set me on my path. And I am proud that I used that foundation as a springboard to a bigger, happier life — where I can help other great women to become the creators of the lives they yearn for.

I invite you to experience yourself living a life that delights you! 

And I’d be happy to explore the possibility of working with you to make that dream your reality.

My father, my grandfather and my mother holding me at the start of my life’s journey.

Live BIG in 2024!

When was the last time you created space for yourself — to think deeply and explore your heart? 

Have you ever spent a few days with other women who are courageously considering important questions, getting clear about the life they truly desire, and being supported to start creating that life?

One of the most beautiful expressions of the outcome of this process was shared with me this past weekend. One of the women who said “Yes” to herself and attended a retreat I led in January shared where she is now.

“I am exploring the ocean that is me. I am immersed, and seeing all that is coming up for me. I am honing and exploring and finding joy!”

What will you discover when you say “Yes”?

The opportunity to give yourself some time and space to focus squarely on yourself is special. And doing it with guidance, in a small group with other great women, is remarkably enriching.

If you are willing to embark on a process of personal exploration, I predict that you will make great discoveries.

If you believe that you matter and that you can learn to create a future that will light up your heart, I predict that you will feel excited to step into a new version of you — a you who feels agency in her life as never before.

Explore what’s possible for you!

The Live Big Live! retreat, that I last offered a year ago and that is now offered only once a year, is returning this spring.

The 3-day retreat is preceded with a preparatory process that’s designed to give you a solid foundation before we gather in person. You will have tools that provide clarity and discoveries, private sessions with me, and group calls where you will connect to the other fabulous women in the group.

Our time at the retreat will include fun and creativity, as insights emerge and breakthroughs are experienced. In short, this program will propel powerful momentum to fuel your life!

Live Big Live! is a singular opportunity to experience what past attendees have raved about. (Check out what they have said here.)

Now is a particularly good time to check out Live Big Live! and see if you feel the urge to learn more about it. 

Why consider Live Big Live! now?

I am offering a special fee for the program through the end of the month. The special offer will expire on February 29, 2024. 

If you feel this spring may be the time to step away from your day-to-day routine, connect to your heart, nurture your spirit, and get energized to create your ideal life in a BIG way, let’s talk soon. 

Look for time on my calendar here. We’ll meet on a call to be sure your questions are answered and see if the fit is right.

I will be delighted for us to talk.

Unleash your creative power in 2024

Imagine standing at a large glass window on a rocky shoreline, looking out at the vast ocean and the expansive sky above it. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine what that would look like and how that would feel.

Can you “see” the splendor of nature before you?

Can you sense the energy of the powerful moving water and hear the crashing waves on the rocks below the window? Can you see the graceful, swooping birds gliding on the wind currents?

This inspiring vista represents the year that lies ahead for you — an amazing year of limitless possibilities.

The vast space is filled with energy that you can tap into and use as fuel to create an incredible 2024!

The energy for creation is in you

The way that energy is generated and built in the natural world provides us with information we can apply in our lives, to create anything we want to bring into existence or elevate in our lives.

Here’s a bit of nerdy science to explain:

1. Just as in atomic structure, you can add energy to a stable system and create stability at a higher level. (With a hydrogen atom, for instance, you can add energy with a laser. The electron absorbs the energy and moves to a higher energy state. Got that?)

Interestingly, the process can go in the other direction. An electron at a higher level of energy can drop back down if its energy is dissipated or lost. It takes new energy to be put back in to get back up to the level it had.

2. Here’s another piece of information to consider, having to do with thermo-dynamics and entropy. (I promise, this will not hurt your brain!)

The fact is that the universe tends toward disorder, and that’s called entropy. If you let things erode, you need to put energy back into the system and then sustain that energy. You can even build more energy from there! 

We all know that nothing lasts forever, and our bodies, brains, even civilizations can crumble. The good news is that living things are designed to counter entropy!

3. Chemical reactions have something great to teach us. Activation energy is needed to bring several atoms together to make a molecule (think about 2 Hydrogen atoms and 1 Oxygen atom, to make water).

Any process that creates new things from already-existng things takes energy! (For water, a spark of heat or electricity does the trick.)

For us, it means not only having all of the parts ready and assembled, also adding an energetic ingredient.. 

What this means for you

When you:

• have the willingness to go beyond the edge of your comfort zone and trust yourself to do something that excites you

• believe that your desires and ideas matter, and that you have the power to take small steps forward

• commit to yourself and the effort that’s called for to create what you desire

• generate energy in your spirit and actions — a natural outgrowth of having the foundation I just described

• and stay in the process, so you continue to build energy, or start again when there is a setback

… you can create in limitless ways!

You can add spirit and emotion, too. While these are not as measurable, you can feel the energy of kindness, love, and joy. These all build positive emotional states.

Combine spirit and emotion with the scientific principles described above, you have powerful energy for fulfillment!

Let’s create a 2024 to remember!  

I kicked the year off leading a powerful new retreat last week, that was focused on the energy of creation (see some photos below!).

It was incredible, and I am designing more deep experiences for women to come together to get focused and clear, and generate creative energy to bring into their lives — and impact the world — as never before! 

And part of my focus for 2024 is to bring more of my work inside organizations. I support professional women to be able to bring more of their greatness forward, to have their biggest impact as they create lives they love. When this happens great culture is built, organizational success is accelerated, and great talent is retained.

If you want to hear more about any of what’s coming up — for you personally or your organization — get in touch!

Take time to just be

Winter has finally arrived in New England, after mild and rainy months in November and December.

Enjoying the visual delight of a shimmering white coating on snow-covered trees, I am treating myself to a snow day.

Snuggling in with a cozy blanket, sipping hot tea, Edith Piaf serenading me, this is a treat I am delighted to give myself.

What about you? 

You do not need actual snow to have a snow-day

Few of us take the time to be quiet, to rest, to simply let ourselves BE.

If you tend to live the way I lived much of my life, you are likely so caught up in doing, that you rush through your days and miss the opportunity to get quiet, rest, and connect to your heart. 

You may wait for a vacation to take a break, and even then, you may have a full schedule and be in constant motion.

Making time to slow down and indulge your body and your spirit is a gift you can choose to give yourself — no matter the calendar or weather.

And you need not make it a full day of down time, if that’s not practical.

If there is a lot going on, look for ways to bring a short respite into your day.

And take a look at you schedule. Block off space for being at regular intervals — whether you want that time for reading, journaling, assembling a puzzle, drawing, day-dreaming, cooking something fun, walking in a special place, or connecting for a longed-for conversation with someone you miss.

The gift of stillness and quiet

When you make small, or more extended, periods of quiet time a regular part of your life, remarkable things can happen.

For me, it works in a similar way that savasana does at the end of a yoga class — the period of stillness at the conclusion of a physical practice. In the stillness, my nervous system is remarkably quiet. I feel a distinctive sense of relaxation and feel refreshed.

I also make a deep connection to my heart — what it wants and what it needs. 

And in that “emptiness” I often find insights and ideas show up that are fresh and surprising.

Many times I find myself feeling more alive and inspired to move into the next part of the day.

At the start of this fresh new year, why not see how making a “snow-day” practice of your own will work for you?  Email me and let me know how it goes. I'll be delighted to hear.

Boldly create your 2024

Happy new year!

I am writing on January 2. Having barely stepped into this new year, it’s a great moment to consider the possibilities for the way you want to live for the next 12 months.

Ask yourself these 3 questions

Take a little time to mull over these questions. With a journal in hand, write whatever comes to mind.

You may find some things that surprise you when you let yourself listen to the deep messages in your heart.

And, do not be concerned with the “how” related to anything you think of. This a time to connect to your desires, so write down all of it — do not edit things out! (The “how” can be addressed later.)

1. Who are you ready to BE in 2024?

How do you want to step up and into the most powerful version of yourself, to show up authentically and boldly as you navigate your life? What will that look like for you?

What qualities do you want to amplify this year?

What aspects of the way you have been operating in the world are you ready to change or shift away from, so you can bring your best self to everything you do this year?

2. What matters that you want to DO in 2024? 

This is a great moment to thoughtfully consider how you will spend your precious time this year.

What things do you want to do to live a life that satisfies you, that minimizes stress and maximizes joy?

What do you want to create in your life that will inform your “doing”?

Do you want to create a new direction for your career, or create new relationships?

Do you want to create expressively (as a writer, musician, builder or chef)?

What do those desires ask you to do — what actions you will take?

3. What do you want to HAVE in 2024?

Do you want to have more space and time to do particular things you crave?

Do you want to have courage, or confidence, or peace of mind?

Do you want specific opportunities?

Do you want to have tangible things like a new car, or furniture, or the resources to have a travel adventure? 

Do you want to have the satisfaction of making an impact in a particular way?

A word for the year can guide you in 2024

With the insights and clarity you have, choosing a word to inspire and guide you to live your biggest, best life can keep you energized and clear as the months roll along.

I have shared my process for choosing a word of the year in my blog over the years. You can check out what I shared last year. 

As you will see, I first choose a word and then add several ways I intend for that word to guide me. I find that specificity to be very powerful and supportive during the year. 

I always type-set the word, as you can see below. I hang a printout on my pinboard, where I look at it every day.

I invite you to try it and see what the impact is for you.

Wishing you a year filled with joy, love and peace 

I dream of a world where we all live the biggest, best versions of ourselves.

When we create personal wellbeing and boldly show up with all of our talents and gifts, we are not only powerful creators in every dimension of our lives, we inspire everyone around us. 

Let’s do this together, and fill the world with more big ideas and bold action.

Joy, love and peace will ripple far and wide.

Celebrating your 2023 top 10

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend.

And, the season of celebration continues in full swing!

As the New Year approaches it is peak Top 10 List season. Why not get in on the fun in a personal way?

Make a 2023 Top 10 list for yourself

Amidst the festivities at this time of year, making a personal Top 10 List is a great way to look at the bounty in your life.

Choose from these ideas, add others of your own, and feel free to include more than 10 items on your list!

Best conversation 

Brightest moment of joy

Best adventure

A notable moment of creative flow

The best outcome of a challenge you overcame

Best taste, smell, feeling, sound, or lovely sensory sensation

Best surprise you experienced

Your most generous act or thought

The most fun you experienced

The boldest thing you did

A time you felt your best physically

A peak moment of gratitute to savor

Your most precious memory of the year

A significant moment when love filled your heart

The thing you are most proud of

A peak moment — for any reason

The biggest insight to bring into the new year

With your list in hand, you might want to type-set it in a great font. (The designer in me loves the magic of beautiful typography to enhance the impact of big ideas and insights!)

You can print out your list and post it where you’ll be able to frequently reflect on the highlights of your year.

Savoring the best about yourself and the best things in your life will naturally fill you with gratitude and self-love. These are precious and meaningful ways to bring great energy into the coming year.

As you look ahead

As you bring your focus on 2024 front and center, consider choosing a word to guide your year. This has been an inspiring and meaningful practice for me and for my clients for a long time.

I’ve written several blog posts about the word-of-the-year process I developed. My process helps you go deep and find a word with significance and resonance.

I invite you to check it out.

I wrote this post in 2019, and it links you back to a post from the previous year, that details my process for choosing a great word for the year.

And this post was written last year, with some perspective on my experiences using the process.

I will be moving through this process for myself, as I look ahead to a year of expansion and evolution. I will share my word and more about the big new ideas that I am excited about early in the new year.

Let me know what you choose for 2024!

My wishes for you this week (and beyond)

1. Make sweet time for yourself amidst the holiday bustle. 

2. Know how grateful I am for the honor of being invited into your inbox each week.

3. avor love, joy, beauty, the company of good people, and the possibilities and creative energy available to you every day.

4. Bring your precious magic into the world — whether in tiny droplets on some days, or by the boat-load on other days.

5. Make the most of today, tomorrow, and every day as you believe in the abundant opportunities for peace, love and happiness. Live Big!

Navigating the year-end transition

As we head into the last two weeks of the year, you may feel drawn to look back, or eager to look ahead, and maybe both.

Whether this has been a year to cherish or a year you are eager to leave behind, you surely have meaningful opportunities for insight.

You choose the lens

Let’s first consider reflecting back on 2023 — which I suggested in my last post.

Looking back can reveal a lot for us, and can help us look ahead with clarity and intention for the year we want to live after the calendar turns on New Years Day.

All of us can spot times when things went well. It is important to recall things we took pride in and things to celebrate.

And, all of us can spot times of challenge, disappointment, pain or frustration.

It's in reflecting on the challenges that we get a choice about the lens through which we want to process them.

If you choose a lens of regret you may beat yourself up for not doing better or for having made poor decisions — leaving you with a sinking sensation, or worse.

If, instead, you choose to look at unfortunate events of the past year through the lens of observing lessons learned, or recognizing ways you moved ahead, you may well be able to feel gratitude for positive aspects of those events. 

Perhaps you will see that you were resilient.

Perhaps you can appreciate your strength.

Can you spot creativity in ways you thought about paths forward, or ways you approached a situation?

A focus on gratitude sets you up for success 

When you choose to look through the lens of gratitude, for both the great things and the ways you dealt with difficulties, you fill yourself with positivity.

The energy you feel when you can appreciate the full spectrum of your experiences is powerful. And that energy will support you to think and feel differently as you look ahead to 2024.

Try this next

Pull up your calendar and set aside a little time for yourself to look back, and look ahead. You may want to do this with a buddy, you may want to schedule two sessions — one for looking back and one for looking ahead. You may want to do this in a place you especially enjoy, like a cozy cafe or a comfy chair.

Any way that works for you is great.

It is helpful to scan your 2023 calendar and note the things that jump out to you. There are likely to be highlights you did not acknowledge, or special things that you lost track of. Jot them all down.

And jot down the rough stuff, too. There may be big ones you are thinking of now, and you may well see some reminders of smaller challenges that offer insights when you think about how you responded, overcame obstacles, or found solutions.

With all of the discovery noted, its time to do some writing about the outcomes in 2023 you can appreciate and savor.

And then it is time to look ahead to the fresh new year on the horizon.

What dreams do you want to pursue? How do you want to show up

Consider questions like these:

• What qualities in yourself will you leverage in new ways?

• Do you yearn to lead more boldly? 

• Do you want to be more compassionate (to yourself and/or others)?

• Are you ready to stop doing something the way you have in the past?

• Does it feel like time to try something big or new?

Write about all of the thoughts and ideas that come to mind, without evaluating or judging them, or thinking about how to do any of those things. (There will be time for those questions soon enough.)

Give yourself the gift of time to dream 

In this season of gift-giving, spending time to dream is a precious gift you can give yourself.

Let yourself dream big about the life you want to create in 2024!

It does take any more energy to dream a big dream than a small one. Honor yourself and the desires in your heart, and declare your dreams!

I am dreaming about a year filled with more love, abundant peace, and women (and men!) everywhere living their dreams.

We can collectively bringing more greatness into the world as we all create in meaningful ways. This world needs all of us to show up and live our biggest,best lives.

Take time to reflect

In the midst of this busy season, most of us have a packed schedule.

And lots of people wait until the new year rolls around to look ahead, make a resolution or two, and hope for good things to happen.

I get it. Carving out time for reflection can seem hard, or may feel selfish — particularly when the calendar is filled.

I invite you to consider the gifts that can emerge when you devote even a small bit of quiet time to reflect.

Take a few minutes for yourself 

Set aside a few minutes today — maybe over lunch, or before bed would be a good time to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes for yourself.

Pull out a journal, paper or a laptop, and have your calendar handy. Then choose one or more of these questions to explore.

1. Look back at your year and see what you can celebrate about yourself.

Here are some questions you might ask:

• Were there times when you were brave, or dared to be bold? 

• When did you have an impact that was meaningful?

• Did you accomplish something you would not have expected? 

• When did your generosity have meaning for someone?

2. Look for lessons learned.

We learn valuable lessons in many ways. One way you may not have considered is to think about challenges you took on, or challenges that showed up this past year, that contributed to your path of success. 

See what you can spot. Can you feel gratitude for outcomes that those challenges led to in your life?

3. Look for things you want to emphasize next year, or let go of.

Perhaps there was an experience that opened your heart in a new way, or a person you got to know well and enjoyed, or a place you spent time that was especially meaningful. 

Note things you want more of next year.

Think, too, about things you want less of, or things you are ready to release.

Perhaps there are things you said “Yes” to that you didn’t like doing, or that have run their course. Maybe there are habits of thinking you are ready to shift away from. Maybe you want a change in a relationship.

By reflecting and taking note, you can set intentions for next year.

You can consider ways to make the positive things a meaningful part of your life in 2024.

And you can intentionally clear space for more positivity when you set clear intentions to release what does not make you happy.

Do it again!

Why not set aside a few minutes every other day for the rest of this month for some quiet reflection? Start with the suggestions above, and add to ways of mining the past year as new perspectives come to mind.

As you look back and consider your year in 2023, you will be likely to notice many things that will help you move into 2024 with more clarity, awareness and intention.

And if you want to share, I would be delighted to hear about the insights you discover. Email me.

Discovering strength in tough moments

Here we are in December. I am looking ahead to how I will conclude 2023, and where 2024 may take me. You may be thinking about that too.

2023 has been extraordinary in many ways — some wonderfully special, some tragic, personally and in the greater world.

All of the events in our lives offer us the opportunity to think about how to look at them, and to respond.

It is in the hard times that we can learn the most, if we choose to see those events as learning opportunities.

The challenges of dealing with loss and worry

November was a month of many contrasts for me, dominated by loss and stress.

I lost my father on November 13. He was 97, a great man who lived a remarkable and long life. He was dearly loved. I am grateful that I was with him on the 13th, hours before he took his last breath.

The day my father died my youngest sister was on a ventilator in an ICU, 10 miles away. She has been in multiple ICUs these last weeks, and has finally turned a corner. It looks like her will to live is stronger than all of the medical problems that shut down so many of her organ systems for nearly a month.

Grief and deep concern for my sister have been a tough pair of challenges. The space to grieve for my father has been squeezed by the time and attention devoted to my sister’s illness.

My heart has been sore for weeks on end.

And, blessedly, life continues, and it is full of dimension.

Both and… 

I made a point each day to look for ways to bring love and hope into my life, and into the world in any small way I could think of.

I wrote to all of you weekly, even as I chose not share anything about my father’s death until my sister was conscious and we could tell her. Writing to you was a gift I gave myself. It felt good to share what I hope were meaningful ideas.

Amidst the sadness and not-knowing worry, the joy of spending Thanksgiving with my children and sweet grandchildren was a balm for my spirit. I felt deep gratitude for so much love in my life, and savored the the sweetness of being with little precious ones.

I created time to write and to paint. That helped me feel deeply, and move emotion that seemed trapped and fraught.

I learned to be patient and to trust that things would work out as they were meant to. And I learned to accept that I could only do so much.

I could love and support my family members, especially my sister's children. I could take care of practical matters. I could do my best to bring love into the world. I could support my clients. And I needed to take care of myself.

Of course I wish the circumstances in my family and the world around me could have been different. And yet, I learned so much for which I am grateful.

Conclusions and beginnings

As we are all moving into this last month of 2023, I invite you to join me in taking a look back at everything you have experienced this year.

Can you see things you learned, or can learn now by looking through a lens of openness and gratitude? Are there lessons and insights you see with clarity now, that you may have missed as they happened?

Now think about 2024 and all that is possible for you. What do you want your year to look like and feel like?

What strength and insights can you bring into the new year based on your reflections of 2023?

And here is one last question:

How can you live your biggest, best life today and all month long, so that you can create dynamically in 2024?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me with your plans for living your best life.

Listen with an open heart

When you cultivate self-awareness wonderful things can happen.

This takes time and focus, because it is easy to slide into automatic ways of looking at and thinking about things, and automatic ways of being.

Let’s explore one way to bring intentionality to your relationships, that goes beyond the typical way so many people interact when in conversations.

The two questions below can be considered in terms of exchanges in your personal relationships as well as in professional interactions.

How closely do you listen? 

Listening sounds easy — after all, we listen to people all day every day.

And, in many cases we miss a lot, because most of us listen superficially.

When we fail to slow our busy minds down and bring our focus to the person we are with, we miss the opportunity to listen deeply with an open heart.

If, instead, we listen actively, with intention and care and with a loving heart, the person with whom we are in conversation will feel that presence. They are likely to share more fully and honestly.

And whatever way they may share, we can hear so much more by listening deeply. We are able to pick up more than we typically would, tuning in to more nuances, and gaining more insight from the emotion we are able to feel.

We can sometimes even listen for and hear things that are not being articulated in words. We can tune into messages that come across in the tone of voice, in body language, and messages transmitted via the energy of the person who is sharing with us. We may even hear things that are hidden behind the words — fears or concerns or shame that are embedded in the actual statements.

When we listen deeply and hear so much, we can connect and engage with the other person in ways that go way beyond what we would otherwise be able to contribute had we been listening more superficially.

And this way of listening also validates the speaker. They know they are being heard.

Do you bring judgement to what you hear?

One perspective that is meaningful to try and hold, when you listen with focus and care, is to connect to the loving essence of that person.

It is all too common to let judgment slide into our thinking when we listen — judgements that may be subtle or harsh.

Noticing subtle judgements can be particularly challenging. And harsher judgements, if we are aware we are making them, often feel justifiable. 

If you are listening and realize you are judging, you might ask for a pause, so you can take a moment to release the judgement before inviting the person to continue speaking.

The ability to listen without judgement keeps our hearts open. This is a gift we can give the person to whom we are listening, and also a meaningful gift we can give ourselves.

Be patient with yourself

If you choose to bring the awareness of active, non-judgemental listening into your conversations, you may find it takes a bit of practice to do it with ease. I have found that the rewards of building this practice are wonderful, and invite you to join me in cultivating this awareness.

Each conversation you have is an opportunity for understanding and respect, whether you and the other party ultimately find agreement or not. 

Of course, when you do complete a conversation in agreement it feels great.

When that is not the outcome, knowing that you have had a deeply meaningful conversation free of judgement opens the door to acceptance. Ideally you will both be able to agree to disagree, or move ahead in tandem. And if that is not the case, you are likely to feel better because you were able to be open and loving.

Each time we lovingly listen we contribute loving energy into the world.

The more love we generate, the more healing and connection there will be in the world.

Slow down to find clarity

Perhaps the weather is finally getting more seasonally cool where you are, as it is here in Boston. The fall season brings many things to mind.

Like many people, I am thinking about how I want to make the most of the final quarter of this year. 

And with lots of big ideas percolating, it would be easy for me to drive myself hard. After all, there are barely 12 weeks until 2024 gets underway.

For most of my life I was focused on pushing myself. It was such a “normal” way for me to live and work that I never considered the possibility of a different approach to my life.

What about you?

Is constant pushing your “normal”? 

If it is, does it make you happy?

Do you hold the belief that it’s the only way to get things done and achieve?

What if there is another way?

I have been learning to slow down for over a decade! 

I have become keenly aware that, for me, being thoughtful and taking intentional, clear action works much better than plowing frantically through my days.

Going more slowly to get more done, and to be more satisfied with my work and my life, was counterintuitive when my first coach introduced the concept to me.

Being willing to try it, finding ways to experience more satisfaction and accomplishment, and consistently practicing over time has made a huge difference in my life.

I am clear about the benefits of living and working without “push energy” — that I had thought was the only way to succeed. (I, like most of us, had internalized the way our culture glorifies and celebrates hard, hard work). 

My new approach has proven to be remarkably beneficial.

3 steps you can try for yourself

Rather than plowing through your days, living with stress, and collapsing in exhaustion, here is a way to start approaching your life differently that you can explore.

1. Make a small shift to create space for you to “be.”

When you start your day with space for thinking, feeling and intentional planning, many things will start to change.

Even if you have kids to get to school or other demands on your time, think about adjustments you can make to start your day in a new way.

You might realize that getting to bed a bit earlier will enable you to wake up sooner than you have been, so you can give yourself the gift of 10 to 20 minutes to yourself.

You might create a new morning pattern or routine with those in your household, that provides you with some precious quiet time for yourself.

You might decide that a current habit can be replaced, that will support a quiet, focused mind. (For me, switching away from listening to news first thing in the morning, and instead choosing music I was in the mood for, made a wonderful difference.)

If you want more ideas, I have a lovely guide, Creating Space for YOU, to help you do just that. Just email me and I will get it right off to you,

2. Choose how to center yourself.

You might write in a journal.

You can quietly list things for which you are grateful.

You might want to move your body in a particular way — doing yoga poses, moving through a quick workout, taking a walk outside.

With some focus established, you will be ready to think about your day with quiet energy and sharper perspective.

3. Set your intention.

Setting a clear intention for yourself makes great things possible.

Your intention could be to move thoughtfully through your day, rather than rushing and reacting.

You might intend to show up boldly in a conversation, or get something specific accomplished with focus and ease.

You might intend to sustain a positive frame of mind all day.

You might intend to ask for help for a matter that has challenged you, or to make something easier to accomplish.

Your intention may well include several components.

The key is to be loving to yourself as you set intentions that will support you to have the best day you can.

You are responsible for your experiences

When you set the stage for quiet, intentional thinking each morning, and do as much as you can to follow through on the intentions you set, you will see meaningful changes unfold in your life.

You have this opportunity.

You have the power to bring change into your life, to live in a sustainable way, that enables you to thrive.

You can make the most of 2023 and step into a new year with clear energy, sharp focus, greater clarity and deep enthusiasm.

That is what being a creator of your life, living big, is all about.

If you want to talk about how you can begin to make significant change in your life, I may be able to help.

The best way to start is to book a quick intro call with me.

You are under no pressure, no obligation. I promise only an honest conversation where you can talk about the deep desires you have for your life and what's in the way for you now. I can share fresh insight and perspective, and tell you about programs I offer that may be a fit for you.

Email me, or find a time on my calendar here. 

It’s time to be bold!

One big way to Live Big is to be bold.

There is a chapter in my book about why being bold is so meaningful and how to bring more boldness into your life.

And, being bold is not a simple thing for many of us to consider and embrace. 

Boldness is a topic I have been focused on lately, in my life and in my work with clients. That focus led me to create a new keynote entitled, Embrace Your Bold: Amplify Your Voice and Increase Your Impact.

To present this hour-long talk, I went deep into what bold really is and how we can each build our bold. It was a great journey for me, and I have loved sharing it with audiences.

And while I cannot share all of the content of my talk here, I want to give you a few key points, as well as a take-away that I hope you will find inspiring.

What does bold really mean?

Most people have preconceived ideas about what “bold” is, and what it looks like. It’s important to know that being bold— whether that feels great to you or off-putting — does not mean the same thing, and is not the same, for everyone. 

My definition of bold used to include being loud, brash, and fearless. (And not being a loud, brash, or fearless person, I long struggled with the idea of being bold, much less how to be bold.)

What I have come to understand is that one can be bold and present quietly. One can be bold and serious. Introverts, extroverts and ambiverts, those filled with wit and those lacking humor, can all be bold.

Bold is a completely personal set of beliefs and understandings of what’s bold for YOU.

Faking bold does not work

Because many people have a concept of boldness that does not match who they are, they try and fake being bold (as they think bold is supposed to look).

If you have tried to fake boldness — as I did in the past — you have likely concluded that it does not work very well.

In addition to feeling awkward (or worse), when you try to be someone you are not it rarely comes across to others in the way you want.

The key is to embrace your authentic way of being bold. When you do that people will sense it and be responsive.

Here’s a great first step to try

To find and embrace your unique bold entails a multi-step process that I teach in my keynote.

And, here is one thing you can do today, that will help you to gently usher in boldness. 

Take one tiny step that is outside of your comfort zone.

That’s all! 

What is one small thing can you do that is beyond the edge of where you feel comfortable?

• It could be planning how you might approach a delicate conversation.

• You might wear a piece of clothing in a color you love but have hesitated to put on.

• Maybe you will propose an agenda item for an upcoming meeting that you have been thinking about but not acted on.

• You might ask someone for help.

• Maybe you will tell someone how much they mean to you.

Choose one thing and do it.

Be your bold!

When you take one very small new step today, and continue to do that every day, you will soon find that this gentle practice builds your bold.

Your authentic bold will start shining, and will continue to get brighter as you go!

I would be delighted to hear from you when you bring this idea into daily practice. Email me to let me know how it goes.

You are worthy of self-love

If you have been a reader of my Big Ideas for a while, or have heard me speak about Living Big, the concept of Self-Love will likely sound familiar.

Maybe you bring awareness of Self-Love into your days, and have made space for practices to build Self-Love.

If so, that’s great! I deeply believe that Self-Love is a foundation for living your biggest, best life.

And, there is more to this topic than you may be aware.

Why Self-Love matters

When you love yourself — which is not selfish! — you take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. You honor yourself. You set and hold standards that are aligned with your values. You have more compassion for yourself. 

When the voices of your Self-Critic intrude (as they do, for all of us), you are less likely to be limited by a sense of being an imposter, or being inclined to be perfectionistic, or procrastinating, or feeling inadequate when comparing yourself to others, or being immobilized by fear. When any of these self-critical voices show up, having a base of strong Self-Love provides you with a counter-narative that can quiet those voices.

(Those voices will never go away completely, but you will be amazed at how much easier it will be to manage your Self-Critic.)

The more Self-Love you cultivate, allowing you to quiet the Self-Critic, the less stress you will experience and the more confident you’ll feel.

The best part? You will experience more happiness!

What Self-Love actually means

I often teach about these important dimensions of Self-Love:

• Self-Love means feeling deserving and worthy — of goodness in every aspect of your life.

• Self-Love means believing in yourself, owning your unique and amazing gifts.

• Self-Love means taking exquisite care of yourself. Think about how well you nourish yourself, if you are getting ample rest, how you nurture your body in ways you enjoy, and more.

• Self-Love means devoting time to you — to be quiet, to do things you love, to honor and nurture your spirit. 

And, to consistently do these things takes focus.

How to practice Self-Love — including a great new idea!

I often share ways to actively cultivate Self-Love. Here are some basic approaches:

• A seemingly simple practice is to smile at yourself in the mirror each morning and evening. It may feel awkward, but stay with it. Gently and tenderly gazing at yourself with love makes a wonderful difference.

• Create a ritual for self-reflection. You might choose journal-writing, spending time in nature to reflect, expressing yourself creatively, or another way that makes you happy.

• Schedule time to do things you love, for the pure pleasure of it!

• Set aside ample time for wonderful self-care.

• Make dates to be with people you truly enjoy.

The new suggestion I have is one I slowly came to realize is an excellent way to nurture Self-Love:

Ask for help!

This concept may not sound obvious. (It did not for me until recently.) 

Learning to ask for help has been part of my personal journey to Living Big. Only recently did I “connect the dots” and realize that every time I ask for help I am honoring and loving myself.

How is asking for help self-loving?

Each time I get help I create space for more of what I love to do or experience, or for doing things that are in my “zone of genus.” 

I reduce stress.

Things get done faster than if I handle them myself.

Some things get done much better than I am able to do them.

I get inspiration and leverage the genius of others, so that the quality and outcomes of my efforts are enhanced.

I also experience the pleasure that others get when they help me. (Because so many people love to help others!)

To the last point, there are countless people who want to help you — friends, family members, colleagues, and people you hire. 

We are not meant to do everything ourselves. Embracing this truth and reaching out for help is a wonderful way to honor and love yourself.

I have tested it for you and can attest to it!

Please share your Self-Love stories

I would be delighted to hear about how you practice Self-Love and the outcomes you are noticing. Email me, and if you have questions or struggle with this practice, tell me about that, too.

New beginnings: create your best life!

It is a delight to welcome many who have just started receiving my Big Ideas. I am so pleased to welcome these great women.

This past weekend I celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. The focus of this High Holy Day runs deeper than our secular new year.

On Rosh Hashanah we celebrate the creation of the world and welcome a sweet new year. We are also introspective, as this holiday starts a 10-day period during which we reflect on the ways we fell short in the past year. We pray for forgiveness and to be “written into the book of life” for the year ahead.

The idea that we have a new start, one filled with opportunity to be self-aware and to live with clear intention truly inspires me.

We can start anew each day

Holidays of many kinds offer is the opportunity to take note, reflect, celebrate, and some invite us to consider some change we might make.

In fact, every fresh new day is an invitation to be grateful, to bring awareness to how we are living, and to do something new or different.

Rather than living on autopilot, why not set an intention at the start of each day?

You might create a small morning ritual to reflect and consider what new action or way of being you want to make a focus of your day. 

Your ritual can include a few minutes to write in a journal. It might include lighting a candle and sitting quietly. It might be taking a walk to reflect on nature. Create what works for you!

Just make one small change today

If you have been a reader here, or have heard me speak, you know that I believe in the power of implementing small changes.

As you embark on a morning practice or ritual, it is key to bear that in mind.

Rather than aiming to make a sweeping change, think of making a very small shift — in thought and/or action. 

Need ideas to spark your heart?

On some days you may be very clear about your focus for the day ahead. On others, you may be less clear and feel unsure what focus will support you to have your best day.

And while you may want to stick with one focus for a period of time, you might choose to change your focus as outside circumstances, inner desires, or new possibilities prompt you to make different choices.

Any way you bring awareness and commitment to your day is great.

Consider these possibilities:

• Choose to add curiosity

Bringing more curiosity into your day is always a great idea. Curiosity can be applied in countless ways. Ask more questions in conversations and listen with care. Bring a curious mind to explorations of possibilities and solutions. Be curious about underlying motivations — your own and those of others.

• Choose to cultivate patience 

Set an intention to sit with discomfort when things do not happen as quickly as you’d like, or when you have an impulse to plow ahead without full consideration of a matter, or when others are unresponsive. 

• Choose to be more loving

Think about how you might love yourself more. Maybe you will be more self-forgiving, or pause to eat a more nutritious meal mid-day. And, how might you love others more fully, though acts of kindness, or helping someone, or even in your thoughts?

• Choose to be more trusting

You can actively trust yourself and the decisions you make. You can be more trusting of others, too. That awareness of trust will automatically prompt you to be more thoughtful as you move through your day.

• Choose to show up a bit more boldly

What one small way can you be more bold today — in a way that feels authentic for you? Try something small, such as asking someone you trust to listen to an idea you’ve had and not yet dared to share. Post about something you believe in or matters to you on LinkedIn, so people get to see an aspect of you they haven’t known about. Even something as small as making a clothing change that shows your real personality can be a good way to start being bolder.

• Choose to celebrate yourself

I suggest you make this idea a part of every day! Acknowledge yourself for creating a daily ritual, for taking thoughtful actions, for each small — and big — thing you contribute to, or initiate, or see through in your day. As my clients and audiences know, I think saying a spirited “YAY ME!” at each of these moments is a powerful practice to make part of your life!

We get to create our lives each day

New beginnings are wonderful — and holidays that highlight the start of a new year, whether religious or secular, are a gift.  

Knowing that we can make each and every day a new start, that we can fill each day with awareness, and make commitments to ourselves for how we want to live our biggest best day, fills me with inspiration.

I hope it does you, as well.

Take a moment to imagine your life a year from today, having made clear commitments to Live Big each day.

Savor that vision, and commit to making it your reality.

I am always happy to connect with you, to hear about your deep desires for a life that fulfills you, and help you gain clarity and insight about what is limiting you now, and what is possible. Email me — and we’ll make a date to talk.

Unlock the power of daily reflection.

Most of us launch into our days, moving through a brisk morning routine and then attending meetings and handling tasks and projects that fill our packed calendars. We end the day only to start again the next morning.

In the midst of a busy life, it’s easy to loose sight of the opportunity we each have to pause, reflect and make simple choices that can have a big positive impact.

Three questions you can ask yourself today

If, instead of moving from one thing to the next as quickly as possible, you choose to briefly stop, breathe quietly for a minute ot two, and then ask yourself a good question, you can change the tone and intensity of any busy day.

Here are questions you may want to choose from:

1. What one thing really matters now?

When you choose this question and focus on the top thing that matters most right now, you are able to bring both awareness and clarity to your day. Your attention will no longer be splattered.

This pause enables you to consider how you might reshuffle other things on the calendar if that is needed, or who you can ask to help you, or what resources are available that you had not considered as you rushed though the day.

2. What will me happy now?

It’s easy to forget that you deserve to be happy, and that there is always an opportunity to have moments of pleasure in your life — even when things are busy!

This is not a frivolous or selfish thing to make a priority, It is self-loving. And when you honor yourself by choosing to inject happiness into your day, you put positive fuel in your engine.

• Maybe a quick text or call to someone special will lift your spirits. 

• Maybe a short walk in nature, or a stop at a lovely cafe will give you a boost. 

• Maybe planning something special you can look forward to doing at the end of your day will light up your heart.

3. What promise can I make to myself now?

This question offers you a terrific opportunity to reflect on something you want to commit to — for yourself, for your wellbeing.

Tap your heart and find something that you want.

Keep in mind that small desires are a great for two reasons — they matter, and they will not make you feel overwhelmed.

Here are some prompts that may get you started:

• You might promise yourself to get to bed a little earlier. 

• You might promise yourself to ask for something you have held back on requesting.

• You might promise yourself to be kinder — to yourself or someone else. 

• You might promise yourself to follow through on a task you have been avoiding.

• You might promise yourself to be a bit bolder today.

• You might promise yourself to start planning an adventure you have been longing to take.

This small daily practice can bring big shifts

We tend to underestimate the significant impact that small actions can have.

You may want to remind yourself to ask one of these questions each day (and you may have other questions you want to add).

Why not download this graphic, print it, and use it as a reminder?

I’d be happy to hear about how this practice works for you.

And I am always happy to talk about how you want to Live Big.

Email me today! 

What future are you choosing?

Have you ever paused to think that you choose your future every day?

Your decisions, your choices, and the actions you take each day have a tremendous impact on the life you will lead down the road.

Are you a drifter?

Sadly, most people drift through their lives. When I look back I see all the ways I had drifted for a long time.

Yes, I made some bold decisions. Some of the important ones, in addition to choosing the partner to spend my life with and deciding to have children, were leaving a corporate job to start my first business; deciding not to relocate for a job that was going to pay me handsomely, but upon reflection I realized would not make me happy; and my most recent great decision — to sell my business, explore, and find a new direction that I would really love.

I was focused about making each of those decisions.

And, I know that I lived much of my life without focusing intentionally.

For years I moved on autopilot through daily routines.

I kept up with demands and put out fires. I frequently said yes to requests without thinking about the “opportunity cost” of those yesses.

I rarely stopped to consider the ways I was living and where those ways of living were taking me — until I had my big wake-up call (to sell my business in 2011).

It was then that I realized that I had the opportunity to make thoughtful, careful, well-considered decisions all the time. 

What I learned was that each of my decisions leads me to a life that I create, rather than living by default as I had for so long.

What future are you choosing?

Your choices point you in a direction, which is why it is worth considering the choices you make.

Are your choices aligned with what really matters to you?

Think about choices like:

• who you spend time with

• what you listen to and read

• how you spend your free time

• how you show up in the world — from the clothes you wear to what you say (and do not say)

Think about how clear you are about what you want. This will let you live with a vision to guide you, so you can more easily live with intention.

And think about how clear — and how big — your vision is.

What choices are you making today?

Sit with that question for a few minutes. Consider your choices, and how they line up with your dreams.

Jot down lots of your choices — like those related to the people in your life, your habits (that may or may not be ideal), the responsibilities and opportunities that your have taken on or are considering now, and more.

When you see them clearly noted on paper, you can assess whether they are positive and affirming, or if there are things you want to change.

Your next step (that will now be easier to implement) is to be more self-aware as you consider all of your daily choices, and the bigger choices and decisions that are right for you.

Watch for significant rewards!

As you build your awareness and choose carefully, things will begin to change in marvelous was.

And when more of us live with intention, choosing with care and moving in directions that are fully fulfilling, more lives will change for the better. More of us will be happy and energized, and people around us will feel and see it!

We can impact our families, our communities, our workplaces and beyond!

My vision is for accomplished women everywhere to boldly step into their power, make great choices so they show up with clarity and passion and realize all that is possible for them.

I see legions of women leading and inspiring others in incredible ways.

Please join me! As each of you chose with intention and make your life the best it can be, this vision will grow organically.

I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds.

How to savor every day

Most of us focus on destinations, goals, and achievements.

What if you savored the journey?

What if you held the vision of that desired state and lived in each present moment?

This is why it’s great to focus on now

When your attention is fixed on a destination, you miss what is happening now — including new opportunities and great sensations.

When you live in the present, you appreciate all of your experiences as you move in the direction of your desired outcome.

What’s more, you can tune in to new possibilities and can gain fresh awareness of ways to support your goals.

And maybe best of all, you will have more fun!

Ready to give this new way of approaching your days a try?

How to stay in the present

It’s tempting to focus on the future. However, doing that often leads to thinking of a million what-ifs — which is not only stressful, it hijacks your attention and fragments your focus.

It’s also easy to look back and repeatedly rehash old experiences. While there are lessons to be learned from looking at the past, the rehashing usually hurts as you tend to focus on shortcomings and feelings of regret.

If you find yourself stuck in either of those states, try these ways to return to the present:

1. Be alert to your thoughts.

It can be helpful to jot notes about the times you fast-forward or dive back into examining past events.

Can you notice types of triggers that pull your attention away from what is happening now? Are there times of day, or specific people, or patterns you can become aware of?

Awareness can help you to avoid those situations — or spot them start early on. That's a great way to consciously bring your attention back to the present.

2. Observe what is happening now and create your response.  

Consider where you are and what’s going on around you. Choose the present as your focus, at least for a little while.

Think about where you have opportunities right now — like the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation, or to shift to a more positive approach, or to come up with a new idea.

Ask yourself if there might be a challenge to address that you may have been avoiding when you turned your attention to the future or the past..

Be thoughtful as you contemplate your options and make your best choices.

3. Appreciate and honor your emotions.

When you are present and feel excited and eager about what is happening, and all that is possible for you now, make the most of the energy. Let yourself fully enjoy what you are doing. Let that positive energy carry you!

If you find yourself feeling discomfort, or fear, or sadness, or stress, it may be tempting to try and ignore it.

A better approach is to let yourself feel the feelings for a little while, and then use those feelings as fuel for some type of creative expressions.

For some that's writing. For some it helps to dig in the dirt, or go for a run. Some people move their bodies to music, or hammer away in a workshop, or sing loudly in their car. (This may be a quick effort, or may need repeating until you feel the emotion has been released.)

Having expressed yourself to use your emotions, you are likely to feel lighter, ready to refocus on all the opportunities and possibilities in the present moment.

And speaking of opportunities, when you live in the present you will have many opportunities to appreciate yourself. Acknowledge yourself for each step you take, for noticing new possibilities and testing them, and for all of your progress (the small steps as well as bigger leaps).

Living in the present is a great way to Live Big.

It doesn't have to be hard to let go

Last week I wrote about letting go of physical clutter and emotional clutter. (If you missed it, you can check that out here.)

In addition to letting go of the things that clutter your environment, and the people and situations that drain your energy, I am thinking about the concept of letting go in a bigger, broader way. 

Consider this question:

What are you holding onto in your life and work that it may be time to let go of?

• Perhaps you are holding onto the way your business is structured, because you have always worked that way, or because that’s the way everyone else does it.

• Perhaps you are holding on to a seasonal ritual with family or friends because that’s what you always do, or because you think that’s what people expect you to do.

• Perhaps you live — or work — in a place that does not make you happy anymore (or maybe has never made you happy), because it feels too hard to make a change.

Even if these examples do not resonate specifically for you, sit with the question and see if something comes to mind.

You deserve to be happy!

If you realize you have been holding on to something that is not ideal, your next thought may be, “Sure, but it’s ok.”

Or, you may think something like, “But what can I do about it?” or ”I don’t want to shake things up.”

I believe that life is too precious to compromise on your happiness.

You may not be considering that, by tolerating something that’s not working, or resisting making a change, you pay a price.

The energy you bring to your day-to-day life is dampened, dulled.

You may not even be consciously aware of the ways it adds stress, makes you feel pressured, causes frustration, or simply contributes to subtle discontentment.

Living that way is not fun for you, and it limits everything you do.

If one or more things come to mind, consider the upside of initiating a change.

When you let go, new possibilities show up

When you loosen your grip on maintaining the thing that you have been convinced is the way it has to be, or loosen your grip on the thing you now are aware you’ve been tolerating, things will shift.

Possibilities you may never have considered are likely to feel real.

So, what can it look like to loosen your grip?

1. Get curious!

Ask yourself questions like:

• Why have I been holding tight to the belief that the way I run my business has to be the same as it has been? What could a different business model look like?

• What beliefs might I let go of about my role in our annual family gatherings?

• What would an ideal location be for me to feel happy every day? Do I need to stay in this city?

• What might working for another company, or taking on a new or bigger role, be like?

• What am I afraid of? What’s the worst possible outcome of a change? What’s the best possible outcome?

• What if I doubted myself less and showed up in a bigger way?

2. Consider small steps to take.

Having identified something you want to change, and getting curious to open insights and ideas, it is time to take action.

(By the way, action is a great antidote to fear. The act of starting will build enthusiasm and reduce hesitation and doubt!)

Your initial action might be to talk to people who have done the thing you are considering, and learn from their experience.

You can generate lists of possibilities and see which are the most appealing, so you can begin to test them. 

You can set a vision of that new thing already having happened. Holding that vision will make you feel excited and motivated to take ongoing steps in that direction.

3. Build momentum.

Having put a plan in motion, stay committed to yourself — and keep the curiosity going.

You are likely to adjust your initial ideas and expand or redefine your vision as new possibilities, resources, and supporters show up.

As you pursue the thing your heart asked for, you are sure to show up more fully and bring more boldness into the ways you approach your life.

That’s what living big is all about.

Feel free to let me know about the change you feel called to consider, or one that you are in the midst of now. It’s easy — just email me.

What are you ready to let go of?

Are you holding on to things that no longer matter?

So many of us struggle to let go. There is so much we accumulate that we stop seeing and using.

We are surrounded by things we no longer need — and if we pause to consider, there’s usually a lot we no longer even want.

What things can you let go of now?

Physical clutter feels daunting to think about for many of us. When will we find the time and energy to tackle a closet that is packed, or a room with drawers and shelves that are overstuffed?

What if you chose to take a baby step?

What if you started with a single drawer or focused on one small thing?

Last week I scheduled a pick-up with a non-profit that takes used books and finds new homes for them. It was the perfect way to get motivated to look at shelves around the house and fill the requisite 7 small boxes with books to donate. 

In no time, I had selected old travel books, novels I had no interest in rereading, books related to my first business (that I sold in 2011!), cookbooks I haven't used in years or didn't really like, and more.

Having quickly filled the boxes, it was fun to readjust the shelves, now with breathing room for small objects and photos to be placed where they add delight.

The books are now out of my house and on their way to new homes. I feel more spacious and happy, having done just one small thing to clear my environment. 

Think about emotional clutter, too.

In addition to the tangible clutter in your home and office, that you can slowly address and let go of, consider emotional clutter. We all have some of that.

What have you been tolerating that drags you down emotionally and/or energetically?  

Perhaps there are people or situations in your life that drain your energy or impact your thinking in negative ways. 

Start by becoming aware of them. Perhaps writing in a journal will help you identify them, see their impact, and be more alert to where they interfere. 

With that awareness, you may naturally start to address, eliminate, or resolve them.

And if you choose not to actively do anything about them now, that’s fine. Having the awareness is a key first step.

Start with one small, specific step today

What one small thing can you commit to now?

It can be something as small as choosing a focal point to start in on — and setting a date to begin to address it.

You might journal about clutter for 15 minutes next weekend.

You might schedule a pick-up of clothes and household items for a local charity.

Whatever small step you take, you will have the satisfaction of having started.

Each baby step takes you a step closer to the spaciousness of a less-cluttered environment, and a less-cluttered mind.

In time, as your life becomes less cluttered, stress and anxiety will subside. You will feel pride about your accomplishments, and enjoy the bonus of enhanced self-esteem.

In short, you will feel happier! Imagine how great that will be.