You are worthy of self-love
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If you have been a reader of my Big Ideas for a while, or have heard me speak about Living Big, the concept of Self-Love will likely sound familiar.
Maybe you bring awareness of Self-Love into your days, and have made space for practices to build Self-Love.
If so, that’s great! I deeply believe that Self-Love is a foundation for living your biggest, best life.
And, there is more to this topic than you may be aware.
Why Self-Love matters
When you love yourself — which is not selfish! — you take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. You honor yourself. You set and hold standards that are aligned with your values. You have more compassion for yourself.
When the voices of your Self-Critic intrude (as they do, for all of us), you are less likely to be limited by a sense of being an imposter, or being inclined to be perfectionistic, or procrastinating, or feeling inadequate when comparing yourself to others, or being immobilized by fear. When any of these self-critical voices show up, having a base of strong Self-Love provides you with a counter-narative that can quiet those voices.
(Those voices will never go away completely, but you will be amazed at how much easier it will be to manage your Self-Critic.)
The more Self-Love you cultivate, allowing you to quiet the Self-Critic, the less stress you will experience and the more confident you’ll feel.
The best part? You will experience more happiness!
What Self-Love actually means
I often teach about these important dimensions of Self-Love:
Self-Love means feeling deserving and worthy — of goodness in every aspect of your life.
Self-Love means believing in yourself, owning your unique and amazing gifts.
Self-Love means taking exquisite care of yourself. Think about how well you nourish yourself, if you are getting ample rest, how you nurture your body in ways you enjoy, and more.
Self-Love means devoting time to you — to be quiet, to do things you love, to honor and nurture your spirit.
And, to consistently do these things takes focus.
How to practice Self-Love — including a great new idea!
I often share ways to actively cultivate Self-Love. Here are some basic approaches:
A seemingly simple practice is to smile at yourself in the mirror each morning and evening. It may feel awkward, but stay with it. Gently and tenderly gazing at yourself with love makes a wonderful difference.
Create a ritual for self-reflection. You might choose journal-writing, spending time in nature to reflect, expressing yourself creatively, or another way that makes you happy.
Schedule time to do things you love, for the pure pleasure of it!
Set aside ample time for wonderful self-care.
Make dates to be with people you truly enjoy.
The new suggestion I have is one I slowly came to realize is an excellent way to nurture Self-Love:
Ask for help!
This concept may not sound obvious. (It did not for me until recently.)
Learning to ask for help has been part of my personal journey to Living Big. Only recently did I “connect the dots” and realize that every time I ask for help I am honoring and loving myself.
How is asking for help self-loving?
Each time I get help I create space for more of what I love to do or experience, or for doing things that are in my “zone of genus.”
I reduce stress.
Things get done faster than if I handle them myself.
Some things get done much better than I am able to do them.
I get inspiration and leverage the genius of others, so that the quality and outcomes of my efforts are enhanced.
I also experience the pleasure that others get when they help me. (Because so many people love to help others!)
To the last point, there are countless people who want to help you — friends, family members, colleagues, and people you hire.
We are not meant to do everything ourselves. Embracing this truth and reaching out for help is a wonderful way to honor and love yourself.
I have tested it for you and can attest to it!
Please share your Self-Love stories
I would be delighted to hear about how you practice Self-Love and the outcomes you are noticing. Email me, and if you have questions or struggle with this practice, tell me about that, too.
