It doesn't have to be hard to let go

Last week I wrote about letting go of physical clutter and emotional clutter. (If you missed it, you can check that out here.)

In addition to letting go of the things that clutter your environment, and the people and situations that drain your energy, I am thinking about the concept of letting go in a bigger, broader way. 

Consider this question:

What are you holding onto in your life and work that it may be time to let go of?

• Perhaps you are holding onto the way your business is structured, because you have always worked that way, or because that’s the way everyone else does it.

• Perhaps you are holding on to a seasonal ritual with family or friends because that’s what you always do, or because you think that’s what people expect you to do.

• Perhaps you live — or work — in a place that does not make you happy anymore (or maybe has never made you happy), because it feels too hard to make a change.

Even if these examples do not resonate specifically for you, sit with the question and see if something comes to mind.

You deserve to be happy!

If you realize you have been holding on to something that is not ideal, your next thought may be, “Sure, but it’s ok.”

Or, you may think something like, “But what can I do about it?” or ”I don’t want to shake things up.”

I believe that life is too precious to compromise on your happiness.

You may not be considering that, by tolerating something that’s not working, or resisting making a change, you pay a price.

The energy you bring to your day-to-day life is dampened, dulled.

You may not even be consciously aware of the ways it adds stress, makes you feel pressured, causes frustration, or simply contributes to subtle discontentment.

Living that way is not fun for you, and it limits everything you do.

If one or more things come to mind, consider the upside of initiating a change.

When you let go, new possibilities show up

When you loosen your grip on maintaining the thing that you have been convinced is the way it has to be, or loosen your grip on the thing you now are aware you’ve been tolerating, things will shift.

Possibilities you may never have considered are likely to feel real.

So, what can it look like to loosen your grip?

1. Get curious!

Ask yourself questions like:

• Why have I been holding tight to the belief that the way I run my business has to be the same as it has been? What could a different business model look like?

• What beliefs might I let go of about my role in our annual family gatherings?

• What would an ideal location be for me to feel happy every day? Do I need to stay in this city?

• What might working for another company, or taking on a new or bigger role, be like?

• What am I afraid of? What’s the worst possible outcome of a change? What’s the best possible outcome?

• What if I doubted myself less and showed up in a bigger way?

2. Consider small steps to take.

Having identified something you want to change, and getting curious to open insights and ideas, it is time to take action.

(By the way, action is a great antidote to fear. The act of starting will build enthusiasm and reduce hesitation and doubt!)

Your initial action might be to talk to people who have done the thing you are considering, and learn from their experience.

You can generate lists of possibilities and see which are the most appealing, so you can begin to test them. 

You can set a vision of that new thing already having happened. Holding that vision will make you feel excited and motivated to take ongoing steps in that direction.

3. Build momentum.

Having put a plan in motion, stay committed to yourself — and keep the curiosity going.

You are likely to adjust your initial ideas and expand or redefine your vision as new possibilities, resources, and supporters show up.

As you pursue the thing your heart asked for, you are sure to show up more fully and bring more boldness into the ways you approach your life.

That’s what living big is all about.

Feel free to let me know about the change you feel called to consider, or one that you are in the midst of now. It’s easy — just email me.

What are you ready to let go of?

Are you holding on to things that no longer matter?

So many of us struggle to let go. There is so much we accumulate that we stop seeing and using.

We are surrounded by things we no longer need — and if we pause to consider, there’s usually a lot we no longer even want.

What things can you let go of now?

Physical clutter feels daunting to think about for many of us. When will we find the time and energy to tackle a closet that is packed, or a room with drawers and shelves that are overstuffed?

What if you chose to take a baby step?

What if you started with a single drawer or focused on one small thing?

Last week I scheduled a pick-up with a non-profit that takes used books and finds new homes for them. It was the perfect way to get motivated to look at shelves around the house and fill the requisite 7 small boxes with books to donate. 

In no time, I had selected old travel books, novels I had no interest in rereading, books related to my first business (that I sold in 2011!), cookbooks I haven't used in years or didn't really like, and more.

Having quickly filled the boxes, it was fun to readjust the shelves, now with breathing room for small objects and photos to be placed where they add delight.

The books are now out of my house and on their way to new homes. I feel more spacious and happy, having done just one small thing to clear my environment. 

Think about emotional clutter, too.

In addition to the tangible clutter in your home and office, that you can slowly address and let go of, consider emotional clutter. We all have some of that.

What have you been tolerating that drags you down emotionally and/or energetically?  

Perhaps there are people or situations in your life that drain your energy or impact your thinking in negative ways. 

Start by becoming aware of them. Perhaps writing in a journal will help you identify them, see their impact, and be more alert to where they interfere. 

With that awareness, you may naturally start to address, eliminate, or resolve them.

And if you choose not to actively do anything about them now, that’s fine. Having the awareness is a key first step.

Start with one small, specific step today

What one small thing can you commit to now?

It can be something as small as choosing a focal point to start in on — and setting a date to begin to address it.

You might journal about clutter for 15 minutes next weekend.

You might schedule a pick-up of clothes and household items for a local charity.

Whatever small step you take, you will have the satisfaction of having started.

Each baby step takes you a step closer to the spaciousness of a less-cluttered environment, and a less-cluttered mind.

In time, as your life becomes less cluttered, stress and anxiety will subside. You will feel pride about your accomplishments, and enjoy the bonus of enhanced self-esteem.

In short, you will feel happier! Imagine how great that will be.

Finding the magic of motivation

Sometimes things are hard. We find ourselves facing obstacles. We hit setbacks. We need to cope with stress or illness.

And sometimes things feel hard when we really want something and are on our way to achieving it.

Here’s an example that may remind you of an experience in your life.

I am working with a client who is launching a new website for a business she is reviving after life events diverted her for a few years. It had been a successful business, and she feels ready and eager to resume it.

In fact, she has inventory waiting to sell again, and she has new offerings ready to produce.

She has already invested in having a great web developer build a new site. It looks fabulous and will make online selling a breeze.

And yet, she is struggling.

Why? Because she’s scared.

Her thoughts are consumed with questions like these:

What if the business doesn’t take off? What if the business does take off and makes her busier than she thinks she can handle? What if the new technology will feel burdensome to learn?

At the moment, one very small thing is holding her back — writing the About page copy for the site. It feels so hard for her — not because it’s difficult to string some words together for an initial rough draft. It’s the fear and doubt she is wrestling with that is holding her back and delaying the launch of the new site.

When we want something and still struggle, we need to find (or re-find) motivation.

Motivation is the driving force for everything you aim to achieve

Motivation is easiest to come by when things you do excite you and when things are humming along. But as we saw in the story I shared, motivation is not a sure thing.

And motivation can feel elusive at times when you most need it — like when fear grips you, or deadlines are looming and you have procrastinated, or when you lack confidence in your ability to start or bring a project to conclusion.

Happily, getting motivated is a great way to get going on something that matters to you, to deal with setbacks, to move forward in spite of fear, to persevere, to set priorities, to perform well and build confidence, and to stay committed to the outcome you desire.

So how can you get into the flow of motivation when you need it?

5 steps to create and sustain motivation

1. Ask “why?”

Why this project, or this conversation, or this goal?

Just like my post last week explained that having clarity about the “why” is important to build momentum, getting clear about your “why” is crucial for finding motivation when it is missing.

The “why” may be a personal desire (like my client who wants to restart her business), or may be related to a less-appealing but none-the-less important obligation (like bringing a legal matter to a close). When you focus on the reason this matters, you can connect to motivation.

(And, if the “why” turns out to be that you took on something based on a feeling of obligation, or to please someone, or another reason that you realize is not important enough to you to see the thing though, this is the time to make a change in plans.)

With a compelling “why”, continue on to step 2.

2. Ask yourself, “How can I make the most of this moment?”

What small step can you take to move forward now?

What can the next step be?

Keep asking and keep going (even if it’s slow going at first).

And be willing to change things up and try new approaches along the way.

3. Get support

You don’t have to figure everything out on your own!

Think about who you can reach out to to provide input. Who can offer encouragement? Who might be an accountability partner, or be available to hold you accountable, so you can more easily continue to move ahead?

4. Get excited about the possibilities

Visualize the completion of the process. In the case of my client, she is envisioning seeing orders come in and joyfully sending off her delightful products to people who will enjoy them.

If the task is less pleasant, envision it being settled or complete, and off of your mind.

By foreseeing the best possible outcome, you will bring the most positive energy to the effort. There is always a wealth of possibility to be considered when your thinking is not colored by fear and resistance.

Not only will you feel motivated, you will be more creative and resourceful as you proceed.

And no matter the final result, you will know you gave the project your best effort.

5. Reward yourself

You can reward yourself along the way, to mark small steps forward and for persevering when things feel particularly challenging.

You can reward yourself for building skills and gaining confidence.

And certainly celebrate and reward yourself for reaching milestones, and the completion of your process.

Rather than minimizing your accomplishments, or rushing on to focus on the next things on your list, savor and celebrate what you have done!

What are you motivated to create today?

Perhaps you will create a new step forward toward a goal you have been pursuing or to propel a meaningful project.

You may create a new idea or implement a new approach for something already underway, or you may initiate something completely new and meaningful.

Connect to what matters to you and invite motivation to support you to putting your desire into motion.

Every day offers immense opportunities. Motivation carries you to rewarding outcomes.