How to Keep Worry from Hijacking Your Focus

A question has been coming up in many of my conversations these days (when I am coaching, networking, and in social settings). It’s one that I find myself dealing with, too, in the current chaotic external environment.

How to manage distraction, distress and worry?

I have thought a lot (as you may have) about how to keep significant concerns from hijacking my attention, dimming my spirit, and hampering my ability to do the important work I am committed to.

To support women to show up fully and boldly, so they can do their important work in the world and live without stress or overwhelm, I’ve been exploring simple and meaningful ways to stand steady. 

I believe that we can all tap and ignite the creative power we possess to live our best lives with grace, and I’m happy to share what has worked well for me.

Consider new ways to start your day

I used to hear my alarm, hop out of bed, turn on the news as I quickly washed and dressed, and rush through breakfast before beginning to work. (Back when my morning also included getting children off to school and commuting to an office, it was even more hectic.)

Year after year went by that way, until I began to consider that there might be a better way to set myself up for a great day.

In shaping new ways to start my day, and refining them over time, I’ve experienced many benefits.

I hope the practices I use now to ground and center myself will inspire you to start your day with intention.

Here are 3 approaches to explore

These practices can help you set a positive mindset and get clear about how you want to focus your attention for the day ahead.

1. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier, then set aside the first 10 minutes of your morning for yourself.

By choosing to have 10 sweet minutes of quiet (or more if you want!), you can choose what to do with that piece of quiet time.

While 10 minutes may not sound like much, using that time in a meaningful way that supports your wellbeing can significantly impact how you will feel and operate the rest of the day.

2. Create your 10-minute oasis.

Your “me time” can be structured in a variety of ways. You get to choose what will be the best for you.

Consider these favorites of mine, and experiment until you find what works best for you.

• Spend 5 minutes with a journal

Keep a small journal and pen by your bedside. As soon as your alarm sounds and you sit up, start writing. Aim for one page — which will likely take 5 minutes to fill.

Write about how you feel. Include any concerns you may have carried over from the day before, or from a disturbing dream, or that you have about the day ahead.

Next, write down how you want to feel today. You might note things like feeling positive, trusting, strong, loving, well-supported, creative, decisive, etc.

End by expressing gratitude (go for at least 3 things).

• Move your body

My morning routine includes some stretching after I get out of bed. (I do a longer workout and take yoga classes at other times.)

You might have weights handy and do some reps, or dancing might be your jam. By all means run or walk outside if you love that and are able to make time for it.

The idea is to move intentionally.

3.  Create a soundtrack for your day.

I have several vibes I choose from to help me feel great as I get ready for my day. Some are mellow, some more upbeat, some have vocals and some are instrumental.

I listen to my chosen music as I wash, dress, eat breakfast and transition to working at my desk. I always find that the soundtrack I choose supports me to stay in a positive, centered frame of mind.

Let’s all create our best possible days

The energy you bring to your day impacts everything you do.

It also impacts the people around you.

We all know what it is like to be around people who are anxious, ill-tempered, or gruff, and how that impedes our ability to stay clear, positive and creative.

When you show up feeling grounded, positive, and able to create your best day with a clear head and and open heart, your energy will be felt by others and will positively influence them.

Imagine more of us contributing positive energy, and that energy spreading far and wide. The impact can be enormous.

Let’s do this together.

I am always happy to hear from you. Tell me what is keeping you from living the life you truly yearn for.

Start your day right

How do you start your days? Most of us have a usual morning pattern.

Some hop out of bed, wash and dress, turn on the news, grab coffee with breakfast, and rush into the day.

Others hit the snooze button first. Some sit down for a leisurely breakfast.

What most people skip — that I skipped for decades — is a morning practice that sets you up for your best day.

Try a new way to start the day

When I worked with my first coach, I was urged to meditate every day. I resisted. I dabbled at it. It was a struggle for quite a while!

I would randomly take a break at my desk, put a timer on for 5 minutes, and try to quiet my mind until the chime sounded.

In time it got easier. I sat for longer times. I started to like it, but I did not love the part about pausing in the midst of my workday to do it.

I skipped it on many days, and sometimes did not return to meditating for weeks or months.

Over time I realized that timing was part of the problem. I changed to meditating first thing in the morning. That worked better for me.

And, in time, I added some new elements to the meditation.

I created a morning practice — and it’s had a significant impact on my life. 

As I’ve experimented, I have found a mix that I love.

You may want to try it, too.

A menu to pick from to create your best day 

My current practice starts with 5 to 10 minutes doing each of these 4 things:

• free writing

• meditating

• visualizing how I will show up for the things I will do in the day

• moving my body

And there’s more.

Rather than listen to or watch news, which used to add stress to my mornings, I select music I’m in the mood for each morning.

The music also helps me start to move. I often dance in my bedroom, or do some yoga poses. I usually add in a bit of free-weight action to build strength.

When I do sit down at my desk, I add one more important component.

I pull a card from one or two oracle decks that I love. I keep a journal and do some writing about the message(s) they bring me. This part of my practice helps me focus in how I will show up for everything in my day.

Your elements might be different!

You might include prayer, reading, saying affirmations, singing, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, or drawing.

The order you choose for your elements is up to you.

And you might choose to practice at a another time of day.

The key is to make a practice of the routine that most appeals to you and most supports you.

How having a daily practice works

Having a regular practice with elements like those described above helps you to connect to your heart.

A morning practice orients you to your day in a positive way.

It activates your body, your mind and your spirit.

Your practice will become a ritual.

And rituals are powerful.

Rituals can help you move through challenges, create new habits, create deeper self-awareness, feel more grounded, and feel more motivated.

And a daily ritual like this is a wonderful way to practice self-love. The more you love and believe in yourself, the more easily you can create what you truly want in your life.

I would love for you to share a daily practice if you have one you love — or feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Email me to get in touch.

3 easy ways to create more space in your life

I have been writing a new talk for weeks, that I presented for the first time last Tuesday. It was wonderful to share something new with the attendees of Lexington Wealth Management’s Empower Women series.

The title of my latest talk is: Live Big Without Sacrifice

As I have observed the lives of women (and men) around me, have heard from my clients, have reflected on the culture that surrounds us all, and focused on my own life, it is clear how many of us sacrifice our physical and mental wellbeing each day. The degree of sacrifice varies, but those sacrifices take a toll.

Now this is a big topic, and my talk offers major themes that may not be top-of-mind for most. But I want to share a fundamental truth (one that you may be familiar with if you have read my book) that I hope will help you today.

We need to create more time to simply BE

When we make space to BE more, we not only rest and care for ourselves, we are able to consider what really matters to us.

This space allows us to get clear about what we want to DO, and gain more insight into how we want to do those things.

As I say in my book, Live Big, we are human beings, but most of us spend most of our time doing. I invite you to focus on BEING before DOING.

And all of the ways of being that we choose to make our focus will create a foundation for the quality of our lives.

Let’s consider the most basic matter:

How to create space for more BEING

As I write today, I am away, with time to rest and reflect after a busy start of the year. Vacations are great — but they are not the answer.

The challenge (and imperative) is to focus on how to BE more in the midst of a busy life.

I invite you to explore these 3 ideas:

1. Commit to a morning practice

The form and duration of your morning practice is a personal choice.

It may include stretching or yoga, going for a run, or some other exercise. It may include journaling. It may include meditation. It may be structured so there is no screen time or listening to news before you get outside and breath fresh air.

One part of my daily practice is to pull a card from an oracle deck and use that as a prompt for journaling, reflecting, and setting intentions for my day.

If the idea of a morning practice is new to you, why not experiment and find what you like best?

2. Schedule breaks in your day

How many times have you plowed through your day, grabbed lunch on the go, and barely had time to think of anything other than the pressing items on your to-do list?

This a sure path to burnout! Why not make one or more of these ideas a regular part of each day?

• Take a “sacred pause.” Simply find a quiet place, set your clock for 2 minutes, close your eyes, and breathe quietly. (That’s it!)

• Make time to digest a healthy meal and bring your attention to the present. Chew your food slowly, savor the flavors and textures. You might sit in stillness or share a pleasant conversation.

• Chose to sit and do nothing! It could be to sit on a bench where you can watch people go by. Maybe you will look out a window at the sky or vista. Any form of doing nothing — for 5 or 10 minutes (or longer) will make a big difference in your wellbeing.

• Do a little moving. Walk around the block. Use the stairs instead of taking an escalator. Stand and stretch out your achy muscles after sitting in a meeting or being stuck at your desk. Your body will thank you!

3. Seek out inspiration and delight

This idea is the icing on the cake — and might be combined with things you choose in the two categories above, or something you do in another way.

When you look for wonder in your midst, or seek out beauty with intention, you light up your spirit and open your heart.

You might take a mid-day walk and use the camera on your phone to capture moments of natural beauty, or snap a photo of a curious color combination or an interesting light pattern. Or, look around you indoors and see where there are moments of delight you can savor.

You might schedule a date with yourself or a friend to visit a gallery, or go into a lovely shop you spotted as you drove past.

Any form of inspiration will bring positive energy into your life.

Why not start today?

I hope you will join me and commit to regularly giving yourself the space and grace to BE more — especially in the midst of a life that feels busy.

Small practices that create more space for you can have a surprisingly big impact.

Please share what you try and what you experience. Let’s stay inspired together!

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.