For many of us, looking ahead at the last few weeks of 2021, brings up mixed emotions.
Some of us are already looking back and taking stock of the year. This can feel uplifting, or disappointing, or both.
Some are focused on making the most of the weeks ahead, aiming for a “strong finish” to the calendar year (in business and/or personally). This excites some people and feels intense to others.
Some are excited about celebrating in the upcoming holiday season, while others feel trepidation at the thought of being with particular people, or about travel in uncertain times, or what it will take to prepare for all of that.
I don’t know anyone who feels completely upbeat or completely down. Taking note is a first step to help you enjoy more positive energy.
What’s up for you?
The place to begin is to identify what feels heavy. If you take a few minutes to jot down what those things are, the clarity you’ll gain can help you lighten the emotional load.
Your list may include pressures at work, family discord, overwhelm at too much to do, tough decisions that are looming, tension about things out in the world, health concerns, financial matters, or anything else. It may be a long list, or your list may have one dominant feature.
Consider these possibilities
Seeing it in black and white, can you gain perspective about things that may not be all that problematic?
When we feel stressed, everything seems to expand in importance, but some things on your list are likely to be tasks you can quickly dispatch — or even delegate or drop. And some things can likely be deferred, to attend to after this busy season.
It’s likely that some things that feel overwhelming can be approached in a sequence of small efforts. This will make them feel less daunting, and the big project will be easier and more enjoyable to move through to completion.
Speaking of completion, ask yourself if your timelines and deadlines are realistic, or really required.
And some things on your list may feel heavy because of old scripts and stories you carry, such as feeling like you have to be perfect. Or you have to complete things to meet others’ high expectations. Or you “have to” [fill in the blank] — to make others happy at your own expense.
Maybe you have a “role” in your family that you feel obligated to play, but that frustrates you or feels unjust.
Maybe you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but you can see that there are things on the list that others can help with.
Taking a look at what you can reasonably adjust — with practical changes and in your mental approach — is a great first step to easing the strain you felt as you wrote down the items on your list.
Let’s lighten up
I confess that the pressure I’ve put on myself to be “perfect” and meet the expectations of others have been long-held beliefs that are still works-in-progress for me to release. And being able to ask for help is a practice I have been focused on for a while now, but I continue to need to remind myself that it’s a great thing to do.
The feeling that I must work hard all the time has been a life-long belief that I am currently focused on shifting, and I’m happy to be making progress with it.
We all have deeply entrenched habits and beliefs that do not serve us. And we can all bring awareness to the changes we want to make.
The key is awareness — and from there, consciously making choices that serve us.
Try some or all of these approaches:
What if you trusted that there is an abundance of time to take care of things that really must be done?
Simply approaching the day with that frame of mind makes a huge difference in the energy you feel, and thus the energy you bring to your tasks. This has been a game-changer for me and many of my clients.
What if you let go of the need to do it all and do it all perfectly?
We tell ourselves stories about things we “must do” that often do not need to be done (or not done by us). A quick example is that holiday cookies to not all need to be home-baked — unless that brings you joy and your well-being is not compromised by the time it will take. But the same goes for items of all types on our to-do lists. What can you choose not to do?
And when we aim for perfection for the things we keep on the list, we struggle and sabotage ourselves in so many ways. If, instead we aim for “good” we can feel happier doing the task, and can also allow for happy surprises that may show up when we welcome imperfection. And if we fall short or “fail”? We can laugh, learn from the experience, and move on.
What if you let go of the heaviness?
Our perceptions can make small things feel intense and larger tasks feel even more daunting — or, our perceptions can make things feel doable with ease.
When you change your approach from feeling burdened to feeling that things can move smoothly and be easy or pleasurable, you change your experience. (You may want to check out what I recently shared about how to be a positive thinker.)
And to more easily achieve and sustain a sense of lightness, remember to acknowledge yourself for taking a positive approach. Also acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish along the way. (Check out the power of giving yourself a “Yay Me” here — something my clients practice and love doing. )
Making gratitude a daily focus also supports us to live positively, which in turn increases joy. (Check out three ways to experience more joy.)
We all have the agency to make changes
The biggest pitfall is feeling helpless about things that add stress to our lives.
By bringing awareness to what is troubling you and taking steps to lower the intensity of stressful emotions and pressures, we can all open to approaching whatever lies ahead with more joy and ease.
Why not try one or more of the ideas suggested above this week and see what works for you? I’d be happy to hear about what you experience. Leave a comment, or email me to let me know.
Stay safe and well, and keep creating.
