How to live big each day

We are starting to see small shifts happening around us. Things are “opening up” in different ways in various places, and at different paces. 

How are you being impacted now?

What do you foresee changing for you?

As you consider these questions, consider that each day — no matter where you live and what your circumstances — you can ask yourself two more questions. They that will help you make the most of your day, and the most of your life!

Two powerful questions to ask yourself each day

If you have my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, you know that it is divided into two sections. The first 10 chapters are about the being of living big. The other 10 chapters are about the doing of living big.

Why?

Because we are human beings, and we spend way more time doing, than being. And living big starts with our state of being.

Question 1: “Who do I need to be today?”

When you consider who you need to be to step into your day and have it be the best day possible, you orient yourself to the way you want to live your day.

For example, if you have been feeling sluggish, or stuck, you may want to feel more free and get your spirit soaring.

Or, if you have been frantically trying to keep up with work, childcare, and everyday tasks that drain you, you may need to slow down and find stillness, to allow space for reflection, ease, and self-care.

Other possibilities for the focus you may want to bring to your state of being include: living in the present, loving more, being true to your heart, living without fear, aligning with your purpose, cultivating patience, being grateful, and seeing wonder around you.

Each of these will have a meaningful impact on your well-being.

Question 2: “What do I most need to do today?”

In addition to your state of being, focus on the action you want to take, and how you will do it. That’s where the doing of living big can be considered.

You may realize that you will benefit from listening more clearly for the signals from your intuition.

You may decide that actively creating will charge your imagination and provide you with energy that will be a game-changer. 

Today may be the day for you to speak your truth, or tap more of your passion, or live boldly — even in a quiet way.

Or, it may be a day for you to embrace change, play more, find your way through confusion, or be resilient.

Today you may choose to focus on charting your path to move into the future. 

All of these ways to take action are essential to living big, and you can develop your abilities to do all of them.

Small steps make a big difference

If you feel unsure how to get started opening the states of being and doing you feel called to bring into your day, Live Big is filled with exercises and practices to help you. 

Just asking yourself these questions, and stepping into the exploration of these ways of living — one small step at a time — is a great start.

Living big is a practice. It’s a life-long journey of growth and expansion. And each step on the journey is a step of expansion.

Because life is always changing — whether change comes quickly, as it did around the world weeks back, or things slowly unfold, as they are doing now.

And every day of your life offers you the opportunity to live big.

When you want support, here are 3 ways to get it

1. Check out the list of resources and ideas on the Thriving Now page on my website. All of the tools and ideas have been shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

2. Join me for the next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Saturday, May 23 at 3:00pm eastern for an intimate conversation when we will connect, share, and learn new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call. 

3. And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper, life-changing coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise that you will gain insights and value from this call, whether you choose to embark on coaching or not. Schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call here.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The big mindset lesson I did not see coming

Our mindset is always crucially important, and it’s never been more important than it is now.

If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I advocate for creating as a key way to live well. My mission is to help people to adopt the mindset of being creators in their lives, rather than letting life happen to them.

And, I advocate for the benefits of finding ways to create expressively. When you express yourself through any creative effort, you can “offload” troubling emotion, get into a state of flow and positivity, and elevate great emotions.

My original plan for this article was to talk about how you can tune in to your intuition, and why that’s something valuable to learn and practice now.

But I am taking a detour.

I want to share something personal, that has proven to be big for me this week. 

In this time of living through major disruption, when so much has shifted and so many are struggling, my creative practice has amazed me. I have loved the time I’ve set aside to paint the last four years. But in the last two months it has become more important than I ever expected.

I want to share what’s happened in my life in the last weeks.

I have been studying painting at the SMFA since 2016. I take one class each semester, on Monday nights. And, I nearly always spend a couple of hours painting on the Sunday before my class.

It’s a relatively small time commitment, but it’s been a meaningful and important part of my life.

And then the pandemic hit.

Tufts closed and we shifted to online classes — which is super-challenging for a studio class! Fortunately, I had set up a dedicated small painting studio in my home last summer, so I had a place for all of my materials and the canvases that had been at school.

And, my life got busier than ever in the last eight weeks. I was no longer making time on Sundays to paint. But I did paint on Monday evenings, and what started to happen in that time has been more profound than I ever could have imagined.

The world changed and my art changed.

My abstract paintings have always been rooted in emotion, in making visual what I am feeling. And while I have been safe, healthy and secure, and gratified to be able to support so many people during this stressful time, I thought I was pretty grounded. 

But I can see now that I was unaware of how my mindset was being tested.

Standing in front of my easel these last weeks, and letting all of my emotion come forward, has connected me to a lot of tough stuff that I’d had glimpses of, but had not fully acknowledged. And that unacknowledged deep emotion was interfering with my well-being.

I am concerned about my elderly parents. I am concerned about family members in frail health. I am concerned about policy makers who have increased the scope and danger of the epidemic for our society and continue to fail us in so many ways. I am disturbed by how many people are in peril — front-line workers, those who are ill with the virus, people who are in dire financial straits, people around the world who were in peril before all of this, and are in greater danger now. I could go on and on. 

That deep emotion sat like an undercurrent, disturbing my sleep, my digestion and making me feel subtly uneasy. It would not sit quietly under the surface when I was in the studio. It insisted on being fully felt. And I let it be the fuel for my work.

I am letting myself feel it all.  

Each time I have painted over the last weeks has been wrenching. Something inside has opened up each time I’ve stepped into my studio — my sacred space for feeling it all.

My heart has ached. Tears have run down my face. In fact, just writing this is making me emotional. 

And I let it all come, without trying to make “beautiful paintings.” My amazing teacher, Elaine Spatz-Rabinowitz, and my dear classmates (all on Zoom now) have been remarkably supportive. Yes, they said — make it ugly. Yes, be raw.

And magic has happened. 

It has felt so liberating to allow myself to paint the ugly and raw emotions that have been sitting just under the surface. And, remarkably, what has come through me onto the canvas is one painting in particular, titled In the Unknown, that I completed last Monday. I have never painted anything like this before. My feelings are coming through in new and different ways.

I have lightened the burden on my heart through the process of creating, each time I show up in my studio. And, I hope that my expressions of this deep emotion will touch someone, somewhere, and help them to feel what they may have bottled up or pushed aside.

This time will not last forever. We will move forward.

Some things will be the same after this. Many things will have shifted. And we will adapt and adjust.

But what I have learned in my studio will stay with me. I will hold the knowing that when I create, I connect to all of myself and I give myself these two big gifts — the gift of awareness, and the gift of using and releasing the pain in my heart as I make it visible. 

Some people do this when they create with words. Some do it with dance. Some do it with music. Some do it with food, or fabrics, or sculpting, or building, or transforming their gardens, or enlightening those around them. Some turn to bright color and uplifting sounds and forms. Some need to be with their pain.

All who create give themselves a tremendous gift. 

I invite you explore this territory. 

I am here to support you.

The Thriving Now page on my website has a growing list of resources that can  can help you do just that — thrive. The tools and ideas have been shared in my ongoing, weekly Zoom calls.  

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 2 at 3:00pm eastern. Women from all over the country have been coming to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have 1 more spot on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls, and 2 spots are available next week. Access my calendar to schedule a session.*

And, for deeper support — to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing — I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This deeply focused support can propel you forward, on an issue that you want to address now. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Overcoming the biggest obstacle

We are all moving through and adjusting to our new, shared reality day by day. 

The topic that comes up most in conversation with the people I speak to on my weekly Zoom calls and with my clients, is how we are each making our way through our days.

Some are feeling grounded. Some are struggling. All are making adjustments.

And all of us experience ups and downs. It’s important to be compassionate with yourself when you are stressed. 

The biggest obstacle we face is not new to this moment, but it is playing an out-sized role: FEAR

I get it. Things are scary. But we can give ourselves time to feel into it, and then know that we don't have to let fear cripple us. In fact, the better we can learn techniques to manage fear and shift from it, the less it will hinder us.

Try these 3 great antidotes to fear

1. Live in the Present  

When you are able to be fully present in each moment, you get the gifts in the moment. You are not spinning out future scenarios, or replaying old stories.

Worry and fear can stay on the outside of that space.

When you are living in the present you can be grateful for what is good, what is beautiful, and what is meaningful right now. 

This focused attention also enables you to create the moment you want and need. And, it invites you to create a vision for what is possible to support you, as well as consider all that is possible. Your quiet mind is able to connect to your intuition, and new ideas are likely to show up.

My book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life includes a chapter about living in the present, with practices that can help you to make being present a natural way of living. To get started right now, simply pause, take a few slow deep breaths, and notice how good that feels. There, you’ve made a start.

2. Love More  

Love is a huge antidote to fear. This is the time to stay connected! Spend time (by phone, or video call) with family, friends, business colleagues and clients.

How can you share more love? 
How can you beef up self-love with some extra self-care each day? 
How can love inspire new ways for you to be of service, or help more people? 

When you live from a place of love, everything is better and everything flows more easily. 

There’s a chapter titled Love More in my book, and there is also a gift I’ve offered in the book that helps you understand self-love and the self-critic. You can download that guide here — as well as a few guided meditations.

3. Stay in Action   

Being active is a fabulous way to keep fear at bay. And it works in a few ways:

Be physically in motion: 

Find ways to move each day. Take a walk and connect to nature and the sky. Do an on-line yoga class or other exercise class (so many great ones are available now). Get up and stretch, or dance, or both! 

Create expressively: 

Choose something that will be fun. 

• Do you love using your hands? Do some knitting or a crafty project. 

• Do you enjoy cooking (or are you learning to cook now that take-out and restaurants are not your go-to way of feeding yourself)? Play with ingredients. Try new combinations or seasonings. Plate you food with attention to beauty.

• Do you feel called to draw or play with colors? Find some markers, pencils or paints and make a little creative station (your kitchen table is fine). Or pull out some old magazines and glue, and make collages. 

• Make virtual “creative dates” with someone and share your creations.

Take steps to implement new ideas: 

Remember the new ideas that showed up when you slowed down and started living in the present? Think about what small first steps you can map out, and start doing them. Is it a new way to serve your clients, as you see new needs arise? Is it a new way to stay connected with people far away? Is it a new way you want to experiment with creativity?

Commit to taking at least one new step each day. Momentum will build, even if you find yourself iterating and adjusting. Day after day, you will be in motion!

I am here. I want to support you.

My third Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Sunday included a wonderful group of big-hearted women from all over the country. We came together to connect, share and learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times. 

I will offer another call on Sunday, April 5 at 3:00 eastern. I'm eager to guide everyone through practices and insights for more ways to live well in these times.

Register here to join me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Finding the gifts in a difficult time

A new reality is here. Most of us are at home 24/7. (And for those working in hospitals, pharmacies, food stores and other essential jobs, you, too, are adjusting to a new reality — and the rest of us are enormously grateful to you.)

Is this stressful? Certainly.

Are people having to adjust to a range of new challenges? Yes.

Is it easy? Not at all.

Even those of us who have worked at home for years, and do not have small ones (or teens) with us ’round the clock, are finding this to be a time of enormous adjustment. 

And... we always have the opportunity to create — and in this case, to create our way through the challenge. 

The gift of this crisis is that we can each create our path forward. Lots of learning, growth and possibility are available.

In the Zoom calls I offered last week and Saturday, and in three Zoom calls I attended that were offered by colleagues I admire, a lot of insight has emerged and a lot has been shared. 

These are three big takeaways:

Gift #1  We are all in this together. 

We truly need one another now. Through the remarkable technology available, we are not completely isolated. We can support one another in myriad ways. To quote my husband: Building community is one of our best tools to persevere and maintain perspective and hope.

Gift #2  We have a lot of time, and choices for how to use it. 

Some people who are at home are extra-busy now — with their work, or caring for and teaching their children, or other demands. Many of us have more time each day — because work has slowed or stopped, because we are not commuting, because usual activities are cancelled.

We all have the same 24 hours each day we have always had. And we get to choose how to use them. The circumstances we find ourselves in offer us the opportunity to get intentional about it.

For those on the busy end of the spectrum, you can make choices and set priorities. You can create blocks of time for all that needs to be done, and NOT include things that are not important now. You can create space for self-care, even if that is simply of few 5-minute breaks to sit in quiet, or time to soak in a bath at the end of the day.

For those with more hours to fill than they are used to — those who have little work, are quarantined, have fewer commitments — there are many choices to be made. How do you want to structure your day so that you are intellectually stimulated, stay physically strong, learn new things, do something creative each day, and practice self-care? Creating time blocks for your day will help you to keep from drifting, and will reduce anxiety.

Gift #3.  We can learn and we can grow. 

I have learned and started to practice some incredibly helpful new ways to make each day work. And I have refocused on things I have learned before, that are more relevant now than ever. These are all helping me to keep anxiety low, and make each day work well.

Here are a few of my go-to practices:• I sit with my journal.  I set aside 5 to 10 minutes each day and start to write. I do not lift my pen from the paper until I have poured out my emotion, and along the way I connect new dots for new insights. This has been a game-changer for me.

• I consume less news.  I do not listen to news first thing upon waking. I choose my source with care. I have an AM check-in and listen again in the evening for a few minutes. That is plenty, and it keeps me from feeling consumed with worry.

• I do something creative.  Even a small doodle, and certainly a little more time creating provides a remarkable release. (You can get into flow as you play an instrument, do something new and different while you cook, sing to the kind of music that is calling to you, or any other way of creating. Getting stimulated out in nature is also great, and you benefit from using your body, too.)

• I spend quality time with people I love.  My husband and son are at home with me, and we have taken walks together, read aloud to each other, cooked together, and are planning for other ways to make this time special. And Facetime, Zoom and phone calls with family and friends have been incredibly meaningful. 

• I am staying physically active.  Even if the weather is bad and I do not venture out for a walk, I am making time to be active indoors. This keeps my spirits up and feels really good.

• I believe and I trust.  I remind myself that we will find our way through this. I believe that we will learn valuable lessons, and that those lessons will help us in the future. I think back to times in my life when I have been resilient in the face of terrible events. And I think back to times in history — some not so long ago — when people were able to live through fear, danger and uncertainty, and survive (and often thrive) on the other side.

• I am grateful.  I end each day with thoughts of gratitude. It is my practice as I transition to sleep. (Bonus: Both expressing gratitude and getting ample sleep are key ways I am keeping my immune system strong.)

I am here and want to support you.

My second Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Saturday was a special time for sharing and learning. We had a wonderful group that included people dealing with an array of circumstances, from both coasts. 

I will offer another call on Sunday, March 29 at 3:00 eastern. I'm eager to share more ways to live well in these times, and eager to share the time with you.

Register here to join me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Finding our way

We've all been saying it — what a difference a week has made. We are living in a different reality now.

Advice fills my inbox from all sorts of well-meaning, big-hearted people. So, I will keep my ideas to the point, and hope they are helpful.

1. Stay safe

There are lots of adjustments to make, but the basics are pretty straightforward. Clean hands. Clean surfaces. Stay home, and when you must go out, stay far from others and wash hands and surfaces even more diligently.

2. Lower the volume

Listening to the news all day, social media scrolling, and conversations filled with worry and rehashing are not helpful. Shift to short news check-ins two to three times a day and steer conversations in new directions (or curtail them).

3. Stay connected

We are blessed to live at a time where technology is available so that we can be in community virtually. It's not the same as in person, but it is a blessing. Tap into virtual offerings that help, such as yoga instruction, groups of like-minded people doing positive things together, online courses, and more.

And reach out to neighbors. Who needs help — even just a call to check in? We have a neighbor who offered to add our grocery needs to her list, and we will do the same for her next week. Think about how you can support others.

4. Practice gratitude

See number 3 above, and consider everything for which you can be grateful. When you look for it, there's a lot for which to be grateful!

5. Stay calm, ward off fear

Fear will not keep you safe. In fact, the stress it induces will lower your immunity. And, it clouds your thinking. We need to think clearly now more than ever! I have written about dealing fear in various contexts in past posts. You can check out this article, And this one. And one more.

This is the time to stay positive! And step #6 will help you do that.

6. Create each day

Consider your opportunities to create in two ways:

     A. Create to express yourself, dispel anxiety and open your heart. You can do this in countless ways, so try as many as you want. Start by choosing a playful frame of mind, to open your heart, then let creativity flow with ease. Doodle. Arrange food in a funny way on your plate. If you have a coloring book, spend some time with it. Play an instrument or dance to music of any kind. Collage with scraps of paper and cloth. Create on your own and invite others to join you on Zoom or post to one another in a text thread. As I said, there is no limit to how you can create. It’s a perfect way to lift your spirits.

     B. Consider how you can create new ways of serving, working, thinking. Approach everything with curiosity and ask, "What if?" as you prompt yourself to think more broadly. Is there a new way you can collaborate with colleagues? A new offering to create for your clients? Can you add value for your clients or customers? Often, constraints — like the constraints these times are imposing — can spur the most effective new ways of thinking and doing things. Challenge yourself to think differently. Reach out to people and think together about new approaches and possibilities.

7. Keep loving

Love yourself with good self-care of every kind. Love the people around you and find ways to let them know they are loved. Let love be the inspiration for all of the ways you can serve and create now. Let it be the guiding force in your life.

I am here to support you in two ways

I was moved to offer an open conversation I called Creating the Way Forward on Saturday via Zoom. It was wonderful to have time with great women to process and share and inspire one another other in many beautiful ways.

I will offer another Creating the Way Forward conversation again soon. If you are on my email list, look for an email from me, or check my posts on social media for the next session, and request a link to join in. 

And, reach out to me if you want some one-on-one support. I have opened three spots on my calendar this week for free Creating My Way calls, and will continue to offer them in the weeks ahead. Reach out to request one.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Looking for small ways to shift your day?

Who doesn't like a quick fix? Something easy to do that will have a big impact?

After all, when you feel like there’s more on your to-do list than is possible to get done, having a small way to make a big impact is just what is needed.

I have been there! I totally get that there are many days when you wish you could take a yoga class, or go for a run, or cook a great healthy meal, but it just isn’t in the cards.

So, when I have days like that, I turn to one, two, or all three of my go-to, sure-fire ways to bring myself back to center and shift into a calmer mindset

These small gems also have other pay-offs. When I take a minute (yes, a mere minute) to use one or two of of these super-tools, I am not only more productive, I come up with better ideas and get better results.

Three super-easy, surprisingly powerful tools you can use any time you feel overwhelmed

1. Breathe

Yes, I know. We all breathe all the time. What I am suggesting is that you breathe for one minute in quiet, with the intention of feeling yourself breathe.

Focus to feel the sensation of a deep satisfying breath that fills your belly, and then exhale slowly and fully. Even one clock minute of this kind of breathing can shift your nervous system in big ways. 

2. Look for wonder

Even if you are inside, maybe in an office, or when you are busy in your home, there is wonder in your midst. It may be as small as an unusual shadow on the wall, or a bird’s chirp, or catching a subtle aroma. You might see a color combination that surprises you, catch a reflection on a glass surface, or notice the way the window frames an interesting composition when you look out at a particular angle.

When we pause to notice small moments of wonder like these, we give ourselves a precious gift. Just looking for wonder slows us down for a moment or two. And the awareness of that wonder reduces stress, opens up our hearts, and catalyzes inspired thinking.

3. Express gratitude

f you already paused to breathe, or looked for wonder, or both, taking an extra moment to think about how grateful you are for those experiences adds to the benefits you will reap.

But you can choose gratitude on its own, any time. A small pause to acknowledge how grateful you are, for anything (a kind gesture, a smile from a stranger, a prompt reply from a colleague, sunshine, even a new idea you just had) has been shown to improve mood, increase productivity, enhance happiness and more.

Why not jot down 5 things for which you are grateful in the short pause you take, and see what happens? 

Test one of these today!

After all, concepts are one thing. Experience is another. So, even if you don’t feel pushed to your limits, start today and see what happens.

Try the same tool again tomorrow, or test another of them, or try combining two or three. When you experiment and find what works best for you, make a point to continue using these techniques. The benefits are cumulative!

And if you want to learn more about these three tools, and many other small but powerful ways to create your best life, they are included in my book Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. 

Living big does not have to be daunting. Start small. Experience the benefits. You will feels shifts in ways you may not be able to even imagine right now.

I’d love for you to leave a comment and let me know how these approaches work for you.

And, if you are ready to consider taking bigger action to make big shifts — to figure out what’s next, or get unstuck, or navigate a big transition — to live the big life you yearn for, apply for an Introductory Coaching Call session with me, to talk about how private Creative Core Coaching might be a resource for you.

I am opening up two spots for one-on-one coaching starting next month. And with all of the activity that’s been generated by the book, I don’t know when I will be taking on new private clients after this.

What small step will you take to live big today? They are all important. Start now.

Endings and beginnings

Today is the last day of 2019. It’s the eve of a whole new year, and a whole new decade. This is a perfect day to set aside a few minutes to reflect. 

What was happening in your life a year ago? 

What has happened in the last 12 months? When you slow down and think about it, there’s a lot that happens in 365 days. And when we rush through those days we tend to miss the insights just waiting for us.

What has changed, and what has not changed — for better or worse? Are you ready to make some changes? Are there things you wouldn’t change for the world?

What memories are you savoring? What about your recollections fills you with gratitude? 

Now, stop and think about where you were at the close of 2009. You were about to step into a new decade. What’s happened in your life over these 10 years?

When I took time to go through this list of questions, I was amazed to think about the big changes I’ve lived through in the last decade. I could not have imagined my life now when I was on the eve of 2010.

The next questions you may want to ask yourself are big ones:

What are your dreams for 2020? 
What do you yearn to create in your life in the new decade that lies ahead?

Visualize those things, savor the vision, and believe. 

You came into the world (as we all did) with the capacity to be a powerful creator. Why not create the life you dream of? 

Start small, and keep moving. 

This is a big beginning!

Sending you love and wishes for a wonderful new year.

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.

A time for self-awareness and self-care

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, gratitude and good company.

We are now at the start of a new week, and a new month. It’s December — the last month of 2019, and the last month of this decade!

You may feel inspired and fired up as you think about the ways you want to end the year and move into the new decade. If so, go for it!

And… I am hearing from many of my clients and acquaintances that they are feeling pressured, and many are finding motivation hard to come by.

If you relate to feeling a lack of motivation to go big right now, it’s easy to start beating yourself up.

But I invite you to consider that there’s another way to look at things.

Give up the struggle

The idea that you are a slacker if you are not always in high gear, feeling fired up, and planning and doing on a grand scale, is fueled by external messages.

We are bombarded with advice on how to “crush it” — crush our goals, crush it at work, crush our workouts at the gym. The language itself is enough to stress you out.

And, you may be wired to push yourself hard. I’m all for high standards and commitment, but many of us hear a persistent inner voice that propels us to go way overboard, and belittles us when we don’t.

Especially as we head into a busy holiday season and the end-of-year demands at work, this is the perfect time to be gentle with yourself.

Pushing too hard is counterproductive

When you try and muscle through, you not only exhaust yourself and feel awful (physically and/or emotionally), you are likely to get less done.

When you slow down and focus on something important (rather than lot of things and at a frantic pace), you will get more done. I had a hard time believing it would work, until I tried it.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I choose something that is deserving of my attention. I put everything else aside for a while. I gently bring my focused attention to that effort. The results of taking this approach are always terrific, and so satisfying.

Listen to your body and your emotions

If you feel the need to slow down, by all means build in time for more rest, more thoughtfulness, more time with cherished people, more ease.

The messages you receive from your inner voice and your intuition are always reliable. Our bodies may demand that we slow down, too. If we are not tuned in and responsive, a GI upset or nasty cold may show up and force us to slow down.

Self-care is rarely high on our to-do lists, but it’s so important! No matter how much there is to be done, be sure you honor yourself and build self-care into your days.

This is a time to create with intention

When a lack of motivation or the need to take things a bit slower shows up (and your self-care plan for a soak in the tub, savoring a soothing cup of tea, taking a nap, or going for a walk is in place), try adopting a new approach.

Think about what you desire. What is important right now? What matters? You may want to do some journaling to explore ideas. (And if you’ve learned it, put my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to work.)
Then gently bring your focus to that matter. If you feel clear about the steps to take, start in slowly and with focus. Acknowledge yourself for taking a small, doable step. Then take the next one — and acknowledge yourself again.

If you are unsure about what you want to focus on, get curious. What are the options to consider for moving ahead? With an idea or two, ask: What interesting approaches can I devise to test out this idea? This is a moment to bring creativity forward and explore possibilities.

Commit to making a small effort and seeing how it works out. Celebrate the wins, and adjust course when better ideas and new insights emerge.

And continue on the path — gently.

You don't need to struggle. Momentum will build naturally.

I’d love to hear about how you are feeling now, and what you want to approach with ease. Leave a comment below.

And if you are looking for clarity, focus, momentum and accountability in your life, let’s talk. I will be enrolling a new group coaching program early next year, and it may be the perfect opportunity for you as we move into 2020. I’ll be happy to tell you about it.

How will you express thanks this year?

This is the week that families and friends gather for the annual big day of thanks (in the US).
My invitation to you is to consider what you can do this year to infuse the lovely Thanksgiving holiday with extra meaning — and some creativity.

• You might write a short sentence or two of appreciation for each person at your Thanksgiving meal, for them to find in a note on their plates as they sit down at the table.

• You might create a space to meditate — alone or with others — to find true quiet, be fully present, and deeply feel into gratitude.

• You might create a new dish to serve that brings in the culture of a friend or guest who hails from a faraway place.

• You might introduce a visual or sensory surprise. Maybe an unexpected color scheme for the table, or unique ways to present and serve the food, or distinctive flowers, a humorous theme, hats for everyone to don, fun or inspiring music... there are endless possibilities.

• You might plan a pre- or post-meal walk in a beautiful spot, rather than spending the entire day inside.

• You might include a volunteer activity in your plan for the day.

• Each person might share a special Thanksgiving memory.

• You might ask each person at your table to express both gratitude and a message of love.

Ideas like these can be the start of new rituals that will enrich your annual holiday for years to come.

I’d love for you to share your favorite ideas — old or new — for bringing more gratitude, love and creativity to this special day. Leave a comment below.

And, I invite you, if you don’t already do so, to create a practice of gratitude for every day of the year. If you are curious to know more about the power of gratitude, check this out.

I am deeply grateful for all of my readers, for the people who have attended my workshops and participated in programs I’ve led, for those who have entrusted me to be their coach, and for my collaborators, co-creators, teachers and guides.

I’m sending thanks to all of you, and wishes for a Thanksgiving holiday filled with bountiful love.

What are you most thankful for?

With the US Thanksgiving holiday just days away, I am thinking about all the goodness for which I am deeply grateful, and I expect that you are, too. 

One thing I am endlessly grateful for is the resource of creativity that is available to me and the opportunity to bring it into my life in every situation. So I’m thinking about new ways I can express my gratitude — as well as how I can inspitre the people around me to do that in fresh ways.

If the idea of bringing some creativity to this special time of year appeals to you, I’m happy to share some ideas you may want to try.

They may serve as a jumping off point for you to create your own new ways to inspire and share thanks.

1.  Set aside time to write a short note of appreciation for everyone at your Thanksgiving table. You can hand a note to each person in turn, or use the addressed envelopes as place cards on the table. And, if you’re filled with appreciation for people who live at a distance, mail them notes, too.

2.  Plan something special to say as you sit down to the Thanksgiving meal. It could be a new spin on saying grace, or a statement of love, or a vision of the abundance you foresee in the year ahead, for which to give thanks in advance. 

3.  I love the idea of creating a new tradition for everyone at your gathering. You can plan to bring a dash of surprising humor to the day, and plan to repeat that each year. Perhaps you’ll hand off the honor to someone for next year, to build a new tradition. You might add one new ethnic dish to the table each year. You might have everyone share a statement of gratitude starting with the oldest person and moving to the youngest. The possibilities are endless.

4.  Why not go around the table and ask everyone to recall and share a Thanksgiving memory? Or, you might invite everyone to bring a special dish from a Thanksgiving menu of the past that they recall with fondness. 

5.  You may want to bring a new look to your Thanksgiving. You might choose a color theme for your table settings. and even the choices of foods you serve. Before dinner, you might ask everyone to create a small drawing related to the holiday to adorn each place at the table. 

If you create other ideas, or if you try any of these ideas and want to share them, I would love to hear about the ways you bring creativity — and new ways to share love — to Thanksgiving this year. Add a comment below or email me directly.

I wish you and yours a Thanksgiving holiday filled with gratitude, love, joy and creativity.

With love,
Rochelle

How a simple word can change your year

A new year is underway! The new year arrived in New England with unusually frigid temperatures and a blizzard is underway as I write. I am grateful to be warm and dry, that our power is on, and that my family is together. I see this as a fine start to what I know will be a big year.

But, big years do not happen magically. When we drift through life without intention, as so many people do, we are unfocused and usually scattered. 

So, how can you make this year a big one? Some of us think we need to make resolutions, but you have probably read all sorts of articles about why resolutions fail — and I agree that New Year resolutions are far from the best way to make positive change in your life.

Here's what I recommend instead. Choose a word of the year.

Begin by reflecting, with clear eyes, on your life in the previous year. By getting clear, you can more easily envision what you want in the year ahead. Maybe you want more quiet in your life. Maybe you want to stretch into being bolder this year. Maybe you are ready to release old habits. Why not start now and choose 3 to 5 concepts that feel most important for this year of your life?

After you have your short list, you may see that some of the concepts are related, and you can feel which seem most on target. Getting to clarity will be the key for you to set intentions — intentions that will ignite the energy that will support you to consciously create the year you want. 

I have been focusing on my intentions and choosing a word to guide my year for several years now. And, I help my clients to do that, too. The idea is to zero in on a word that will help me stay on track as my year unfolds.

Two years ago I chose the word SAVOR as my word of the year. I knew I wanted (and needed!) to slow down, but "slow down" was not quite it. I yearned to make time to truly connect to all there was to appreciate and hold those things in my heart. SAVOR was a rich word that entailed slowing down as well as bringing a focus on gratitude. And, it meant that all of that goodness would not be forgotten. SAVOR was a great word for me, and guided that year in wonderful ways.

At the start of last year, I chose the word VIBRANT. I had been recovering from surgery and was focused on restoring robust health. But, I applied the word VIBRANT to many other aspects of my life and how I wanted to be. It entailed a stretch for me. The sign I posted in my office and looked at every day said:

VIBRANT   health  |  energy  |  creativity  |  thinking  |  service  |  action

I was motivated throughout the year to be true to my intentions for vibrancy in all of those aspects of my life. 

I invite you to join me as I focus on choosing my word for the coming year.
Here’s a brief set of steps you can follow.

Start by answering these questions:
What am I no longer willing to tolerate? 
What activities do I want to START doing this year?
What do I want to STOP doing this year?
What do I want to KEEP doing this year?
At the end of the year, what has to have happened in order for me to call the year my BEST YEAR EVER?

Next, go back to your list of up to 5 concepts you wrote down that felt most important for this year of your life. Do your answers to the questions above give you any new insights or ideas for things to swap out? (Maybe words like Presence, Friendship, Power, Risk, Freedom, Action, Openness, Love, Change, Happiness, or Trust might feel like they belong on your list. Let your intuition guide you here.) Do you see some words that feel squarely on target?

Now, narrow your list to one or two words. (I know it may be hard, but this is the time to get focused!) Write down why each word is a great choice. Consider what would be different for you every day if you chose it. Write out a short list of actual things you could create or bring into your life if you chose it. Then write down what you would cultivate as habits (or bring more focus to, if the habits are already in place) to embody the word.

Look again, and see if the right word shines clearly for you. Or, think a bit more and hone in on the word that captures what you want.

With your WORD OF THE YEAR selected, here are your next steps:

In addition to printing out and posting your word, also share it. And, ask for encouragement when you need it. It’s great to ask someone to be your partner and supporter. And, of course, commit to taking ongoing action based on your word.

So, this is my moment to share my word for 2018: LEAD

I intend to be a leader in my life, to be all that I can be in each moment. I intend to show up more and shine brightly. I intend to passionately lead my clients to create the futures they want. I intend to paint with the energy and passion of a leader, and not limit myself. 

What will it take for me to LEAD in these ways? I commit to not shrinking back, even when I move into territory that’s new for me. I intend to focus on what matters most, and commit to those things with a whole heart. I commit to taking good care of myself so that I have the energy to see my vision through, all year long.

I invite you to share the word of the year that you choose, and tell me why you chose it. Leave a comment below, or send me an email to let me know. (Bonus points for adding what it will take for you to live your word of the year.)

I wish you a momentous year filled with growth, wisdom, happiness, and all that you desire. 

A big holiday calls for a big heart

It’s Thanksgiving week, and posts about the holiday — and gratitude — abound. And, why not? Slowing down to focus on all there is to be grateful for is always important, and this holiday provides a great reminder about the value of gratitude for all of us.

Thanksgiving affords many of us a special and distinctive time to be with family and friends. It enables many of us to be creative and cook new dishes or set a table with a fresh twist, to increase delight. Some of us will spend the day with people we see only once or twice a year.

And, for some of us, Thanksgiving, and tuning in to gratitude, can bring up challenges.

This Thanksgiving, I wish those of you who are missing someone special at your table an abundance of love to fill your heart alongside the sadness. I hope that you can think about and feel grateful for the beauty and goodness in your world, past and present.

I wish those who are struggling with health issues healing and relief from suffering. I know that living with pain can be terribly difficult. I also know that adopting a practice of noting gratitude on a daily basis can ease the journey. I hope that will help you.

I wish those with contentious relationships a willingness to seek common ground. Can you aim for heartfelt communication instead of experiencing stress or conflict? If you are able to exchange thoughts related to love, goodness, and shared interests, you can create shared gratitude. That gratitude can alleviate some of the interpersonal stress.

I wish those who are feeling despair about a host of troubling matters in the media a day to consider the opportunities to have a positive impact on the world. Consider what you can do to make the world a better place as a way of expressing gratitude for all that is good in your life. If each of us works to improve the world in our own way, the combined impact will be huge. 

Start by focusing on the important work you do, and do it with a full heart. Value and appreciate that when all of us do our best work, it has a great impact no matter what else is happening near and far.  

You can also commit to helping people in need, either locally or in places across oceans — or both. You can make financial donations and you can make a commitment to volunteer. 

Your efforts can be focused on political causes that matter to you. You might volunteer or donate for the benefit of people in nearby communities, like helping a food bank or a program for needy children or people in need of access to good healthcare. 

You might volunteer to use your special talents or professional skills on a one-time basis or with a continued effort. There are literally countless ways that each of us can have a positive impact and make the world a better place.

Are you able to focus on gratitude — even if it feels complicated to do so — and use the energy and emotion in your heart to create and spread goodness? Can you even be a catalyst for others to commit to efforts that matter to them, and inspire them to do their good work alongside you?

This is the conversation I intend to bring to the Thanksgiving table this year. I want it to be an important part of the time I spend with my family, as we express gratitude and celebrate the holiday together.

I invite you to join me. 

I want to end by thanking you for being here as I explore and share my big ideas. I am truly grateful for your companionship and for the thoughts and ideas you share with me in return. I am enriched by our connection. 

I’m sending you love and heartfelt gratitude.

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If you’re looking for another way to change your year, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.

What we can learn from the stubborn change of seasons

The calendar tells us it’s spring. But here in Boston, we still have snow on the ground and are bundled up against cold and wind that swept back in and made it feel like early January again. Brrrr.

I can safely say that by late March, we rugged New Englanders all yearn for warm air, bulbs pushing up through the soil, and being able to go outdoors in a light sweater. But, as I consider the stubbornness of winter yielding to spring, I know there are interesting things to reflect on and lessons we can learn.

1. Where do you stubbornly hold on in your life?

This weather at the moment can prompt honest introspection about what you may be holding onto rather than letting go of and moving forward in your life. Are you sticking with a job or career out of fear of moving forward and making change? Are you tolerating a bad relationship because it feels too hard to make a change? Or the alternatives feel frightening? Or you think you can change the person if you keep trying? Or you can’t face the conversation where you’ll set clearer boundaries with that person? When we know that change is calling us, and we stubbornly resist making that change, we get pulled into damaging resentment, bitterness, and sometimes numbness. Take a look and see if you are stubbornly hanging on to anything that is not right in your life.

2. How do you respond when reality differs from your expectations?

Having expectations and finding that reality is not what you expected can knock many of us off balance. The expectations may have been based on sound evidence. Or, they may have come from wishful thinking. Whatever the basis for the expectation, we’re often faced with a reality that surprises or disappoints us. The question is: How do you respond? Some of us feel flummoxed, get bitter, feel deep disappointment, and even get mired in resentment. But there are always ways you can respond that do not pull you down like that. Take a look at the reality from many angles — there’s often an opportunity or an upside you did not see at first. Get input and ask for advice, rather than feel alone with the challenge. Keep an open mind and look for a way to respond that will serve you.

3. Do you find yourself yielding to frustration — or bitterness — when you can creatively respond to what’s in front of you?

When reality throws you a curveball, you have an opportunity to create a response that serves you. Carefully consider the options at hand, then decide on your response. What can you create now to make this situation the starting point for something positive? What best decision can you make to move ahead now, rather than feeling stymied? And then, what's the next good choice you can make that will move you into a positive frame of mind and moving forward on a positive path? You always have power to create what is best in your life.

4. Can you find gratitude for all that’s good even when facing a disappointment or challenge?

The science is clear — when we focus on all there is in our lives for which to feel grateful, we are more resilient and happier. So, take a few minutes every day to consider all you have to be grateful for, even when things are not all you wish they were. Test it for a week or two and see if you can make this a habit. See if it keeps everything in better perspective. See if it opens your mind to discover creative ways to look at your life and the world.

5. Can you find patience?

Sometimes we simply need to be patient — with ourselves and the world around us. We think we have control over so much, and we tend to yearn for control. But just like the weather brings us cold when we yearn for warmth and spring flowers, we can allow ourselves to be patient when we know that what we want will, indeed, show up — even if not on our perfect timetable.

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If you’re looking for a way to change your year, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.

My vision for a big new year

The year is off and running! In just the first couple of weeks, I’m experiencing a lot of positive energy and feeling that this will be a momentous year.

Yes — I, like many others, feel great uncertainty and deep concern about the direction our nation’s new administration is taking now and where it will go. But, I feel determined to make my voice heard, to take constructive action, and to do my important work. I want to be a force to support and inspire people to stand strong, to think creatively, and to be effective leaders in their lives and work. The collective, bold, creative thinking and action that we bring to our lives and our society are crucial now. If we succumb to fear and anxiety we will fail to think, and fail to act.

Here’s how I am moving forward:

1. I chose an important word to guide my year.

As many of my readers know, I am a big believer in choosing a guiding word for each year. Last year, I chose SAVOR. It guided me to slow down and appreciate everything — big and small — in my life, and it served me well. It helped me to create new awareness and habits, and enhanced my daily happiness. The gratitude I cultivated was a great balance to the stresses that came along.

My word for this year is VIBRANT — vibrant health, energy, creativity, thinking, service, and action. I am already feeling the power of this amazing word in my daily life!

2. I am already celebrating achievements.

I am celebrating good self-care, and that I am feeling stronger and healthier than I have in a long time. I am celebrating that I have cleared my office of accumulated clutter, and have updated my systems so that I can keep my work space organized and functioning smoothly. I am celebrating that I have started to work with a terrific virtual assistant, and I look forward to how that help will free me to do more of the important projects I have planned.

3. I am finding inspiration and creating in exciting ways.

I visited the Museum of Fine Arts last week to see great work on exhibit before it leaves the museum. Standouts, in addition to William Merritt Chase, were The Clock, Terry Winter’s prints, and the Massed Media show. I will continue to visit museums and galleries regularly. And, in anticipation of the start of a painting course that I’m registered for at Tufts/School of the Museum of Fine Arts, I have been painting in my studio. I am also finding the vision board I made in late 2016 to be an inspiration for the things I most want to manifest in my life now. Seeing it every morning keeps me taking action toward what I want most. All of these are sparking my thinking and awakening my heart every day.

And, connecting everything for me, love will continue to be my driving force, alongside creativity — in this year and every year. As I wrote in my email at the end of 2016, I ask myself every day if I am I serving myself, my family, my clients, my community and the world with a full heart. I am determined to model love and tolerance as I move through 2017.

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How is your year starting? Have you chosen a guiding word for yourself? Do you find yourself struggling or feeling stuck? Let me know how you are feeling and doing as you look ahead to this new year. I would love to hear your thoughts.

A different kind of top-10 list

With the holidays upon us and the last days of the year winding down, top-10 lists will soon start showing up. We have all seen the typical lists of the top-10 films of the year, the top-10 world events, etc. In thinking about top-10s — which for me would include things like a significant birthday celebrated, the marriage of my nephew, coaching remarkable and inspiring clients, and a memorable trip to Paris — I decided to be grateful for all of those things, but to take a little different approach to thinking about how I want to compile my top-10 this time around.

I am thinking about the top 10 things I have learned that I want to take into the new year.

1. To start, I’m focusing on what I want to leave behind from this last year.

By reflecting on what went well and what things went awry this year, I will be able to leave behind habits and practices that I know do not serve me well. This will open the way for more of what I want to bring into my new year. What will I leave behind? For one, timidity. I have learned that when I take a step that feels big, and even a bit scary, it's always better than shrinking back. I will also no longer chase after every interesting idea I get or every opportunity that comes my way. I’ve learned that these distract me from my big priorities. Do you get the idea?

2. After reflecting on my last year, I will decide on the key things I want to create in this coming year and I will choose a word for my year.

When I have clearly defined my top priorities, for my personal life and my work, selecting a word that will guide me will follow. (I wrote about choosing a word of the year last December, and many people wrote to tell me they carefully chose a word to guide their year, too.) I learned that having my word was meaningful and inspiring, and that it was great to post my word where I saw it daily. I know this year’s word will help me to be focused and on-target, both with my new priorities and with how I want to live.

3. I will celebrate my achievements in this year and commit to celebrating my coming achievements in the new year.

We often lose sight of the things we have accomplished and achieved as we rush through our days — especially the small things that can have so much meaning. When we take the time to savor and celebrate ourselves for our successes, and celebrate things what we might overlook (such as trying out something new that is not a sure bet, or having a tough conversation rather than avoiding it), we encourage ourselves, and can appreciate that we are learning new skills and are growing in important ways.

4. I will make my visions visible.

For me, this includes making a vision board every 3 to 6 months. Creating a vision board is an incredible process, and the completed board provides a way for me to look at what I want to bring into my life on a daily basis, so I do not lose sight of what I want to manifest. Making things visible also includes writing down the top three things I will commit to each week and posting the list where I will see it often. The act of committing things to paper, and seeing them, is powerful.

5. I will get more help and support.

Last year I began to work with a great bookkeeper and wondered why I had waited so long to do that. My coaches are a big part of my support system, and I look forward to continuing my work with them. This year, I will begin to work with a virtual assistant to free me from daily tasks that take time away from doing the things that matter most to me and things that only I can do. I will also do more work with a great professional organizer to start the year with an updated filing system for my business, and to help me clear accumulated clutter in my office and home. And, I will think about other kinds of help and support I can enlist to make this a great year.

6. I will have weekly Accountability Calls with a colleague.

This is a practice I started in last year. In every call, we each report on what we accomplished in the past week, where we struggled, and what we learned, and we declare our top three priorities for the coming week. We close by picking a word to be our theme for the week. This has been a remarkable practice.

7. I will take excellent care of myself.

Having experienced a series of health challenges this year that are now, happily, resolved, I am well aware of the importance of careful self-care. I will pay special attention to what I eat and to my exercise routine. I will create a new daily practice that includes quiet meditation each morning, so that I will be centered, calm, and clear as I start each day. I will be tuned in to what causes me stress, and work to reduce those influences — and I’ll actively clear any stress that does come up.

8. I will show up, engage in constructive conversations, and take action related to civic causes about which I care deeply.

Current political developments are calling me to think creatively and partner effectively to be a force for sustaining and improving civil rights, ensuring social justice, building tolerance, protecting the environment, and more.

9. I will create as never before.

I know that when I write from my heart, and when I paint, and when I think creatively, and when I experiment freely, my life is enriched. Difficult emotions are transformed, I am fueled and inspired, I learn and grow, and I engage with others in amazing ways. I will also visit museums and galleries, attend live theater, music, and dance performances, and read as many great books as I am able. Creativity that I engage in and that I experience connects me to big, new ideas and accelerates inspiration.

10. I will live with love as a driver.

I know that love is powerful and positive, and that is what I want to be. I know that love is an antidote to fear and anxiety. So, I will continue to make “love” my watchword, as I have been especially focused on doing recently. I will check in with myself and ask if I am I serving myself, my family, my clients, my community, and the world with a full heart, and if I am modeling love and tolerance for those around me.

I am looking ahead to the next year with the desire to live bigger than ever. That desire informed my top-10 list entries. What will you include on your forward-looking top-10 list? How will you create the best year ever?

Let me know if you are making a top-10 list, and what your list (or lists) include. I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic.

All my best wishes for the upcoming holidays and a BIG and happy year. Let's all look ahead to a year filled with love, creativity, joy, abundance and peace.

The importance of warding off fear

I, like many others, am finding that the weeks since the election have brought up a lot of challenging emotions. I do not want to assume that we all share the same political point of view, but nearly everyone I have been in touch with is concerned about extreme statements that were made made during the election and many of the directions being taken to date by the incoming administration. I need to address the emotional responses to those developments, and hope that we can all be empathetic to one another in order to be calmer, hear each other, and discuss our points of view with respect.

For context, I want to tell you about why I am feeling especially concerned now. I am Jewish. My father grew up in Paris. When the Nazi regime occupied France in WWII, he and his parents and brother made a perilous journey through the country and over the Pyrenees mountains to stay ahead of the Gestapo, who would have sent them to a concentration camp. They were imprisoned in Spain for several months, and after entering Portugal (also without papers), they found safety and finally got visas to come to the US. Many of my relatives were not so lucky.

In addition, my mother-in-law, who grew up in Germany, was an 11-year-old child when her mother sent her out of the country on the Kindertransport to save her life. So, my first-hand knowledge of the ways that authoritarian leaders curtail freedoms and are dangerous is keen. And, while nothing of that extreme nature is happening now, I see very frightening similarities in the way our president-elect has spoken over the last year and since the election, has rallied support employing blatant lies, has tolerated and encouraged the hateful and dangerous behavior of extremists, manipulates the media, and is surrounding himself with people who have histories and agendas for curtailing liberties in many ways.

And, many other agendas trumpeted by the incoming administration are very worrisome. These include proposed changes to healthcare policy and education, building relationships with authoritarian leaders of other countries, and reducing protection of our environment, to name just a few. This does not feel like the America I have always know. And, as I hear from so many people, concerns about matters like these lead to feeling fearful.

And fear is a problem. Because when we live in a state of fear, we are actually inhibiting our ability to think. We suffer from high levels of stress. We can become paralyzed.

Now, more than ever, we must not let ourselves become victims of fear.

We must think clearly and remain able to discern. We must be informed and alert. We must think together about the actions we can take to have a positive impact in times of uncertainty or danger.

But how can we stay informed and yet resist the overwhelm of constantly reading and watching the news (and steering clear of so much false news)? How can we foster the kinds of clear conversations that will lead to the emergence of wise end positive ways to respond effectively? How can we take prudent actions without getting carried away? How can we protect against living in a state of anxiety?

A wise friend told me that at her church, they often say: *Want what you have. Do what you can. Be who you are.* These words struck me as helpful guides for these times.

Want what you have. This seemingly simple statement emphasizes the importance of being grateful for what you have. There is scientific validation for the benefits of gratitude, for thinking each day of at least three things for which you are grateful, and why you are grateful, too. Rather than longing, feeling gratitude for what you have keeps you grounded. It keeps you in the moment, it and ensures that you do not lose sight of the goodness in your life. For despite your concerns, there are so many reasons that it’s a wonderful time to be alive.

Do what you can. None of us has all the answers or can do it all. Accepting this is important, and keeps overwhelm at bay. But, the message also tells us that we *are* able to do many things. We can help others in need. We can foster important connections and facilitate meaningful conversations. We can contribute to organizations that are doing important work that will be needed now more than ever. We can teach tolerance and model living with love as a driving force. And, we can — and must — each be leaders as we do our important work in the world.

Be who you are. We are all unique and distinctive human beings. This is the time to authentically be who you are, and appreciate yourself. Be true to your values and beliefs. Honor the contributions you can make to your family, your community and the world.

As we strive to be vigilant without getting pulled into fear, we have opportunities — to be courageous and to be creative. We need to muster courage for the important work ahead, and we need to activate creative thinking now more than ever. We can come together for comfort and support, inspiration, and also a sense of power to be able to collectively effect change.

Courage and creativity are among my fundamental principles for living big. When we are courageous and creative together we can ward off fear and live through challenging times with more confidence and hope. And in addition, it’s important to know that love is a powerful antidote to fear. When we focus on the power of love we are stronger. (You may want to check out this article, that I found to be both insightful and inspiring).

I’d be happy to hear about how you are feeling now and what is helping you to ward off fear.

And, as we look ahead to the holidays and the conclusion of the year, I send you my best wishes and a vision for a new year filled with love, tolerance, abundance and peace.

What the world needs now

To put it simply, I believe the world needs more love, and needs it urgently.

Love within families and close relationships. Love in the workplace. Love in our schools. Love in our communities. Love between nations and cultures.

Love even when we have different viewpoints. Love even when fear or resentment or bitterness are the instinctive impulses. Love when we do not know or understand one another. Love even when someone is unkind, inconsiderate, or worse. (Love is probably needed the most in those situations!)

Love and kindness, smiles and warmth, need to be shared with strangers as well as with friends and acquaintances. They create a bridge, even if a momentary bridge, between people.

Even small moments of expressions of kindness and love can have a profound impact. Love opens and fuels the heart, it builds trust, it creates happiness and satisfaction (in you and the recipient of your love). It inspires cooperation, it invites empathy, and it attracts more love and kindness to the giver. So, if for no other reason, spread love to get more love.

How can you bring more love into your world? Smiles are a great way to begin. Invite people to do things with you. Cultivate an awareness of all there is to be grateful for, and openly express gratitude. And don't be shy about using the word "love" — even in your workplace. The more this becomes a "normal" word in our vocabularies, the easier it will be for more people to spread more love.

If we all practice sharing more love, the collective power of that energy will grow, and grow and grow. What a beautiful image that is. Let's make it a reality.

What I’m learning from my body

I had surgery in late July. While not “serious”, this was a much bigger deal than anything I’d experienced before (the procedure entailed four hours of general anesthesia). Happily, I spent only one night in the hospital. I am enormously grateful for the excellent care I received and that everything went well. I am now past the half-way mark of the predicted six weeks of recovery, and I am happy that the healing process has been going smoothly.

As I reflect on my day-to-day experiences in these weeks I find that I am in awe of the physical body and how it heals when you give it rest and respect. I had intentionally wrapped up lots of work beforehand so that I could focus on healing, and that has proved to be a great decision — and one that has eliminated stress from my life. That said, I am learning a lot about myself and things about the mind and body that I took for granted before this episode.

Like many of us in the modern world, my work is based largely in my head. I think, I plan, I write, I coach in deep conversations — most of the time while sitting at a desk. When I walk or do yoga (something I am really missing now!) and when I paint in the studio or sculpt, I am engaged physically. And, I used to think that those were the times that required most of my energy. After all, when you are sitting, well, you are sitting!

Here’s what I’ve learned in the last few weeks. The walks I have taken (as prescribed by my doctors) have been a breeze compared to the fatigue I have experienced doing the little work I have put in in my office. Whether I am taking care of small administrative matters that cannot wait, or coaching the few clients I have continued to see during my “medical leave”, it’s the mental work that has taken a toll on my energy. The focus, concentration, attention and careful listening in a conversation are much more tiring than going up and down stairs or walking outside for 30 or 40 minutes.

I realize that I must honor and respect the energy I have — and use it wisely. I must expend my energy with awareness. I have to acknowledge and plan for the impact that doing “head-based” work will have on my well-being. I have to have balance and ample rest.

And, I realize that even when my energy levels are back to normal in the fall, I will have an opportunity to keep this awareness about my energy in my mind. I will be able to honor the hard work of mental focus, and appreciate the gifts that physical activity offer me. I will aim for balance, knowing that the opportunity to use the body more brings great rewards. I want to have physical strength and the pleasures of using my body, even as I love the intellectual parts of my life. And, I predict that creativity will flourish with these conditions in place.

As the summer winds down, and we move out of a “vacation” mindset and gear up for more intense work, school, and social activities, I hope you will think about and honor your energy. When you use your energy with awareness, you can truly create a rich and balanced life, one day at a time. Many of us are so excited about our big ambitions that we overload ourselves and struggle. Realizing that we can actually do more by slowing down, focusing on our priorities, and bringing awareness to the way we expend our energy can be a game-changer.

How do you find ways to balance the mental and physical, to honor and respect your energy and to seeing the rewards of this approach to living?

I received a lovely small coloring book as a gift and discovered that this is a special way to be creative that I had not appreciated before. Watching the pages come alive with color has been a delight.

The magic of making precious time for yourself

Life certainly gets busy! There are many days when it feels challenging just to make a little time for a calm short lunch break (one where you actually taste and digest healthy food!). On days like that, the idea of taking a short walk to enjoy the glories of spring feels impossible.

Pink blossoms started popping on the tree outside my window today!

What I have learned is that those beautiful days, when the pink blossoms are first popping out, are too good to miss. Even when my to-do list is crammed, I know I will be happier — and will do my work with more attention and enjoyment — if I take that break and get outside to breath fresh air, move my limbs, and appreciaote the magic of nature.

How can you feed your heart today with beauty, movement, and a break from the hurry in your life?

Enhance self-love but treating yourself to small ”goodness“ breaks. You‘ll naturally bring more creativity into your life. Your health will benefit. And, everyone around you (family members and co-workers) will love the energy you share.

Try it. I‘d love to hear how it works for you.