Don’t learn this lesson the hard way (like I did)

When I wrote to you last week I mentioned that I’d been away at a retreat and returned feeling very tired. That was just half the story.

The full story is that I was also ill. My GI system was not working well, and I was exhausted.

So in spite of having a big back-log of emails and tasks that I’d planned to get through when I returned, my body had other ideas. It sent me a big signal: slow down.

Slowing down has not always been easy for me!

The importance of slowing down is hardly a new insight for me. In fact, the first chapter of my book is titled Slow Down and Be Still. When I wrote the book, I realized that chapter had to come first, because I see it as the foundation for living big.

We live in a culture where doing, rushing, and pushing ourselves to achieve is celebrated. I bought into that for years, and have struggled to consistently slow down for at least a decade. I have made progress, but I often override my better judgement and keep my foot on the gas.

This past week my body shouted insistently at me. (It was anything but subtle!) I decided to listen and soften, rather than fight it. And I’m glad I did.

Slow down before your body forces the issue

I have had to remind myself of the benefits of slowing down more times than I care to admit. (As they say, we teach what we most need to learn.)

I know that there are great benefits to slowing down, and yet once again the universe stepped in to make sure I would take care of myself — and walk my talk!

I surrendered.

I rescheduled dates and tasks on my calendar that could wait. I slept long enough that I woke up feeling rested, without the sound of a harsh alarm to rouse me. I sat and meditated every day. I read. I took short walks to breathe fresh air and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. I quietly sipped warm cups of tea and ate nourishing meals without multitasking.

I did some meaningful work, but I did not let myself overdo it.

And here’s what happened.

I had time to think and reflect. I noticed subtleties that I usually miss. And I came up with new ideas that excite me.

I feel so much better now. I started healing my body, and also healing my spirit.

What about you?

If this message resonates for you, try at least one way of slowing down today. Savor the sensations you notice when you do that.

And plan to give yourself this gift again tomorrow.

I know I am carefully creating more space for myself each day, and invite you to do the same.

Leave a comment, or email me to let me know what happens for you when you bring more stillness into your life.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

A time for self-awareness and self-care

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, gratitude and good company.

We are now at the start of a new week, and a new month. It’s December — the last month of 2019, and the last month of this decade!

You may feel inspired and fired up as you think about the ways you want to end the year and move into the new decade. If so, go for it!

And… I am hearing from many of my clients and acquaintances that they are feeling pressured, and many are finding motivation hard to come by.

If you relate to feeling a lack of motivation to go big right now, it’s easy to start beating yourself up.

But I invite you to consider that there’s another way to look at things.

Give up the struggle

The idea that you are a slacker if you are not always in high gear, feeling fired up, and planning and doing on a grand scale, is fueled by external messages.

We are bombarded with advice on how to “crush it” — crush our goals, crush it at work, crush our workouts at the gym. The language itself is enough to stress you out.

And, you may be wired to push yourself hard. I’m all for high standards and commitment, but many of us hear a persistent inner voice that propels us to go way overboard, and belittles us when we don’t.

Especially as we head into a busy holiday season and the end-of-year demands at work, this is the perfect time to be gentle with yourself.

Pushing too hard is counterproductive

When you try and muscle through, you not only exhaust yourself and feel awful (physically and/or emotionally), you are likely to get less done.

When you slow down and focus on something important (rather than lot of things and at a frantic pace), you will get more done. I had a hard time believing it would work, until I tried it.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I choose something that is deserving of my attention. I put everything else aside for a while. I gently bring my focused attention to that effort. The results of taking this approach are always terrific, and so satisfying.

Listen to your body and your emotions

If you feel the need to slow down, by all means build in time for more rest, more thoughtfulness, more time with cherished people, more ease.

The messages you receive from your inner voice and your intuition are always reliable. Our bodies may demand that we slow down, too. If we are not tuned in and responsive, a GI upset or nasty cold may show up and force us to slow down.

Self-care is rarely high on our to-do lists, but it’s so important! No matter how much there is to be done, be sure you honor yourself and build self-care into your days.

This is a time to create with intention

When a lack of motivation or the need to take things a bit slower shows up (and your self-care plan for a soak in the tub, savoring a soothing cup of tea, taking a nap, or going for a walk is in place), try adopting a new approach.

Think about what you desire. What is important right now? What matters? You may want to do some journaling to explore ideas. (And if you’ve learned it, put my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to work.)
Then gently bring your focus to that matter. If you feel clear about the steps to take, start in slowly and with focus. Acknowledge yourself for taking a small, doable step. Then take the next one — and acknowledge yourself again.

If you are unsure about what you want to focus on, get curious. What are the options to consider for moving ahead? With an idea or two, ask: What interesting approaches can I devise to test out this idea? This is a moment to bring creativity forward and explore possibilities.

Commit to making a small effort and seeing how it works out. Celebrate the wins, and adjust course when better ideas and new insights emerge.

And continue on the path — gently.

You don't need to struggle. Momentum will build naturally.

I’d love to hear about how you are feeling now, and what you want to approach with ease. Leave a comment below.

And if you are looking for clarity, focus, momentum and accountability in your life, let’s talk. I will be enrolling a new group coaching program early next year, and it may be the perfect opportunity for you as we move into 2020. I’ll be happy to tell you about it.