The rare gift of not having to decide.
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Most women I know carry the mental load for everyone around them — the meals, the logistics, the endless small decisions that keep our worlds running.
We're so used to it that we barely feel the weight anymore.
The consequences of chronic stress are real
When we are so accustomed to a level of stress that it feels normal, or unchangeable, we miss the realization that the ongoing pressure compounds and takes a toll.
It’s often not until the pressure eases that we even realize how heavy it felt, and how it hampered us.
Here’s an example of how one client came to see the toll of her overwrought life.
Feeling overwhelmed, she started by focusing on setting small boundaries to protect her time and energy.
This was new for her, so we looked for an opportunity for her to test a new different approach.
When a committee leader at work expected her to take on additional duties, as she had often said “yes” to in the past, she replied that she would get back to them.
By taking time to think before replying, she clearly determined that this request would entail time she needed to devote to other important work commitments, and would rob her of needed time for personal commitments, too.
She practiced the way she would respond, as saying “no” felt uncomfortable.
She then clearly and calmly stated that she had other commitments that precluded her from taking on more at this time.
She was relieved that, without drama, the leader went on to ask someone else.
This opening of a small bit of space, and feeling less pressured, helped her to gently set more boundaries.
And, she realized that the tension of doing too much had been contributing to grinding her teeth at night — something she had been suffering from for several years.
The pain of that chronic habit started to slowly subside, and she was also less irritable.
These benefits were clear signs that making space for her wellbeing mattered.
A sweet way to open space for yourself
One of the things I love about leading retreats is providing a very special way to lift weight off your shoulders.
My retreats are designed for you to have space and time that is clear, special, supportive.
Things are planned and beautiful.
The days have a gentle rhythm. You know where to be and when, and the rest of the time belongs to you.
That space opens your heart and brings insights into the light.
Women tell me afterward that they’d forgotten what it feels like to be cared for that way, to arrive somewhere with nothing to manage and finally hear themselves think.
You deserve that kind of ease far more often than you may allow yourself to have it.
If reading this made you exhale a little, that's worth listening to.
This is exactly the space I’ve built into L’Aventure Française — a week where nothing is yours to manage. The itinerary, the meals, the details, all handled, so your only job is to show up and be present.
If you've been carrying the load for everyone else for a while now, this might be the season to let something carry you. I’d love to have you there.
