Crafting your life with purpose

We each choose the life we live. And we get to choose each day.

No matter what is happening we have choices. And we have the opportunity to create.

When my family recently faced the loss of my father, coupled with the sudden illness of one of my sisters, who was in a coma for weeks, it was overwhelming to process all of the emotion and move through everything that needed to be done. Life can sometimes suddenly throw a lot at you.

And even in extreme moments and circumstances, we each get to choose how to respond.

Do you crumble — for a little while or an extended period of time? Do you reach out for help? Do you turn to someone you trust as a sounding board? Do you assess and reassess as you move ahead? Do you pay attention to what you need and try and get it (sleep, food, peace and quiet)? Do you find gratitude even in the midst of pain? 

Many of us miss the opportunity to make conscious choices each day.

Even on an “ordinary day,” no matter how things are going, you get to choose the lens through which to look at circumstances and events.

What are you choosing?

If your day is full of delight, you can choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make. 

If today is less than stellar, you can also choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make.

When you choose gratitude, love, generosity, possibility and optimism, everything you do is infused with uplifting energy.

When you choose to create each response, each idea, and each next step to take with that positive uplifting energy, you choose your life.

That’s the key to moving through challenges with more ease, and how you can elevate and accelerate the things that are going well.

When things feel daunting try these 3 steps

Try using this simple process whenever you feel stuck in a low frame of mind:

1. Pause to sit and breathe.

2. Consider the situation.

Take a calm, clear look at what is happening. Can you assess the situation with a broader perspective than when you sat down? 

3. Make a conscious choice.

Choose the response you want to bring to this time.

Feel into your heart and find gratitude. Find love. Think about how you might be generous — to someone else, and to yourself.

Generate as much optimism as possible.

Then consider possibilities for actions, responses, solutions.

Choose to bring as much positive energy into your next step as possible.

As you make choices with intention, you create your best life.

Last week I chose to attend a retreat with my amazing coach and a stellar group of people doing fabulous work in the world. This is the view that greeted me each day. The energy and inspiration of the experience created marvelous fuel for my spirit. 

I’ve created two amazing retreats that are coming up this year. One may be perfect for you to find inspiration to live your biggest life. Email me if you are curious!

Step into new possibilities

Most people live in their comfort zone, where it feels safe — and comfortable! That was familiar territory for me. I lived in a cozy, if small, comfort zone for years.

I recall how uncomfortable it was, when I first worked with a coach, to think of stepping outside of my comfort zone. The uncertainty I felt about a host of unknowns seemed daunting.

And, I learned that by choosing to look at things differently, I could also see opportunity.

What if you focused on curiosity and exploration rather than fear?

For some people, a significant event shakes them up and inspires them to step beyond their comfort zone.

In my case, it was a slower process of building awareness that I was no longer content with the status quo. A soft voice inside me piped up to say that I was no longer excited about the work I’d been doing for decades and it was time for something to change.

And I said yes.

I was willing to trust myself, get curious and explore what was possible. Fear and resistance fell away.

Giving myself the opportunity to explore and make discoveries led me to fresh and exciting insights, and many new experiences. It wasn’t long before my new path became clear and I was energized to forge ahead.

What is simmering inside of you, related to your work, your relationships, an upcoming transition, or your satisfation with life?

What might it look like for you to open yourself up to new possibilities?

There is power in taking one small step 

Rather than staying where you are now — no matter where you are on the spectrum that spans dissatisfied, to uncertain, to eager for something new — I invite you to take a step across that invisible line at the edge of your comfort zone and the possibility of something new, different, bigger, better.

Start with saying a quite “Yes” to yourself — a “Yes” to taking a single, small step into new possibility.

• Your small step may be to make a change in a routine that feels stale.

• Your step might be to reach out to someone and talk about an idea that intrigues you.

• You might try something different, like a new way of moving your body, or a new way of creating to express yourself.

• Your step can be taken at your desk, or on an excursion to a place that inspires you.

• You might explore ideas you have now, or generate new ideas to consider.

Any new step counts. Start and then take another step (in the same direction or a different one).

Getting into motion builds momentum. So set an intention to take action.

Are you ready to begin?

Most people wait for the “right time” to take a new step. And most people put off action because they are never sure they are “ready.”

I urge you to start today — simply take one small step over the line into new possibility!

And you might make that step a call with me. You can book a quick intro call to share what’s going on in your life, and what you yearn for. (There’s no pressure, cost or obligation for us to talk.)

Live BIG in 2024!

When was the last time you created space for yourself — to think deeply and explore your heart? 

Have you ever spent a few days with other women who are courageously considering important questions, getting clear about the life they truly desire, and being supported to start creating that life?

One of the most beautiful expressions of the outcome of this process was shared with me this past weekend. One of the women who said “Yes” to herself and attended a retreat I led in January shared where she is now.

“I am exploring the ocean that is me. I am immersed, and seeing all that is coming up for me. I am honing and exploring and finding joy!”

What will you discover when you say “Yes”?

The opportunity to give yourself some time and space to focus squarely on yourself is special. And doing it with guidance, in a small group with other great women, is remarkably enriching.

If you are willing to embark on a process of personal exploration, I predict that you will make great discoveries.

If you believe that you matter and that you can learn to create a future that will light up your heart, I predict that you will feel excited to step into a new version of you — a you who feels agency in her life as never before.

Explore what’s possible for you!

The Live Big Live! retreat, that I last offered a year ago and that is now offered only once a year, is returning this spring.

The 3-day retreat is preceded with a preparatory process that’s designed to give you a solid foundation before we gather in person. You will have tools that provide clarity and discoveries, private sessions with me, and group calls where you will connect to the other fabulous women in the group.

Our time at the retreat will include fun and creativity, as insights emerge and breakthroughs are experienced. In short, this program will propel powerful momentum to fuel your life!

Live Big Live! is a singular opportunity to experience what past attendees have raved about. (Check out what they have said here.)

Now is a particularly good time to check out Live Big Live! and see if you feel the urge to learn more about it. 

Why consider Live Big Live! now?

I am offering a special fee for the program through the end of the month. The special offer will expire on February 29, 2024. 

If you feel this spring may be the time to step away from your day-to-day routine, connect to your heart, nurture your spirit, and get energized to create your ideal life in a BIG way, let’s talk soon. 

Look for time on my calendar here. We’ll meet on a call to be sure your questions are answered and see if the fit is right.

I will be delighted for us to talk.

Transform your world with love

This week love is celebrated around the world. (Shop windows in Paris were full of hearts in pink and red when I was there last week.) How special and sweet!

I invite you to pause and consider the breadth of what love is and can be, and ways you can create and share it.

Because it’s magical that love can be created — in many meaningful ways!

How do you love?

Love has many dimensions, and some are commonly overlooked. Let’s dive in.

We typically focus on romantic love.

Love shared in relationships is what most people think about when February 14 rolls around. Dinners out, flowers, sweets are the expressions of love most of us share with special people in our lives.

Whether your life is filled with romance, or you long for romantic love, there is always an opportunity to bring the energy of this kind of love into your life.

Think about how you can create beauty in your environment. Light candles, treat yourself to flowers, listen to wonderful music, savor flavors of special foods, initiate meaningful conversations. visit special places that light up your heart.

Whether with a partner, family, friends or on your own, you can create love and joy in countless ways.

The importance of cultivating self-love cannot be overstated.

Cultivating deep self-love not only helps you to be happier each day, it provides a foundation that enables you to abundantly love others and to spread love wherever you go. 

And, yes, the concept is uncomfortable for many people. Women often tell me they feel selfish just thinking about the idea of self-love.

You can gently start to create a self-love practice. Take baby steps at first and keep going.

Begin by focusing on your talents and gifts. Fully acknowledge how special you are! Also think about how worthy you are of happiness, love, and goodness of every kind in your life. You may want to do some brief journaling about the particulars of your special talents, and your worthiness, when you start or end your day.

To help you to fully embrace and embody those ideas, smile lovingly at yourself in the mirror when you greet yourself at the start of your day, and before bed each evening.

Put your hands on your heart as you look into your eyes with love. Leave judgement behind. See and acknowledge the true, deep beauty in your reflection. 

And now it’s time to begin to focus on accepting and loving the parts of you that are not perfect — the parts that feel unworthy, or are critical of others, or are prone to anger or anxiety or bitterness, or are quick to judge.

When you can love and accept all of who you are, it will become easier to give yourself grace. You are likely to notice that you can gently release the intensity of those parts that you have struggled with.

As you make self-love a practice, you will also find it easier to feel love and spread love to others.

Be a generator of love in the world.

There are endless opportunities to create love that will not only enrich your heart, but enrich those around you.

Consider how you can orient your thinking and actions to love.

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, they may be struggling with any number of stresses. I have found rather than cursing at such people, I wish them love — because they clearly seem to need it. (And I notice that doing that makes me feel better.)

Small loving acts, such as helping someone by holding the door for them, or acknowledging and thanking someone who provided an extra touch, or sending a note to someone you have not seen in a while to brighten their day, are examples of generating tidbits of love that are meaningful for both the recipient and you.

When you actively focus on ways to infuse love in the world, that loving energy spreads widely. The recipient of your love is likely to generate more love, a thus the ripple effects extend way beyond what you will likely ever know.

When more and more of us live as creators of love, our impact is incalculable.

This is how we can build the world with love.

What future are you choosing?

Have you ever paused to think that you choose your future every day?

Your decisions, your choices, and the actions you take each day have a tremendous impact on the life you will lead down the road.

Are you a drifter?

Sadly, most people drift through their lives. When I look back I see all the ways I had drifted for a long time.

Yes, I made some bold decisions. Some of the important ones, in addition to choosing the partner to spend my life with and deciding to have children, were leaving a corporate job to start my first business; deciding not to relocate for a job that was going to pay me handsomely, but upon reflection I realized would not make me happy; and my most recent great decision — to sell my business, explore, and find a new direction that I would really love.

I was focused about making each of those decisions.

And, I know that I lived much of my life without focusing intentionally.

For years I moved on autopilot through daily routines.

I kept up with demands and put out fires. I frequently said yes to requests without thinking about the “opportunity cost” of those yesses.

I rarely stopped to consider the ways I was living and where those ways of living were taking me — until I had my big wake-up call (to sell my business in 2011).

It was then that I realized that I had the opportunity to make thoughtful, careful, well-considered decisions all the time. 

What I learned was that each of my decisions leads me to a life that I create, rather than living by default as I had for so long.

What future are you choosing?

Your choices point you in a direction, which is why it is worth considering the choices you make.

Are your choices aligned with what really matters to you?

Think about choices like:

• who you spend time with

• what you listen to and read

• how you spend your free time

• how you show up in the world — from the clothes you wear to what you say (and do not say)

Think about how clear you are about what you want. This will let you live with a vision to guide you, so you can more easily live with intention.

And think about how clear — and how big — your vision is.

What choices are you making today?

Sit with that question for a few minutes. Consider your choices, and how they line up with your dreams.

Jot down lots of your choices — like those related to the people in your life, your habits (that may or may not be ideal), the responsibilities and opportunities that your have taken on or are considering now, and more.

When you see them clearly noted on paper, you can assess whether they are positive and affirming, or if there are things you want to change.

Your next step (that will now be easier to implement) is to be more self-aware as you consider all of your daily choices, and the bigger choices and decisions that are right for you.

Watch for significant rewards!

As you build your awareness and choose carefully, things will begin to change in marvelous was.

And when more of us live with intention, choosing with care and moving in directions that are fully fulfilling, more lives will change for the better. More of us will be happy and energized, and people around us will feel and see it!

We can impact our families, our communities, our workplaces and beyond!

My vision is for accomplished women everywhere to boldly step into their power, make great choices so they show up with clarity and passion and realize all that is possible for them.

I see legions of women leading and inspiring others in incredible ways.

Please join me! As each of you chose with intention and make your life the best it can be, this vision will grow organically.

I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds.

It doesn't have to be hard to let go

Last week I wrote about letting go of physical clutter and emotional clutter. (If you missed it, you can check that out here.)

In addition to letting go of the things that clutter your environment, and the people and situations that drain your energy, I am thinking about the concept of letting go in a bigger, broader way. 

Consider this question:

What are you holding onto in your life and work that it may be time to let go of?

• Perhaps you are holding onto the way your business is structured, because you have always worked that way, or because that’s the way everyone else does it.

• Perhaps you are holding on to a seasonal ritual with family or friends because that’s what you always do, or because you think that’s what people expect you to do.

• Perhaps you live — or work — in a place that does not make you happy anymore (or maybe has never made you happy), because it feels too hard to make a change.

Even if these examples do not resonate specifically for you, sit with the question and see if something comes to mind.

You deserve to be happy!

If you realize you have been holding on to something that is not ideal, your next thought may be, “Sure, but it’s ok.”

Or, you may think something like, “But what can I do about it?” or ”I don’t want to shake things up.”

I believe that life is too precious to compromise on your happiness.

You may not be considering that, by tolerating something that’s not working, or resisting making a change, you pay a price.

The energy you bring to your day-to-day life is dampened, dulled.

You may not even be consciously aware of the ways it adds stress, makes you feel pressured, causes frustration, or simply contributes to subtle discontentment.

Living that way is not fun for you, and it limits everything you do.

If one or more things come to mind, consider the upside of initiating a change.

When you let go, new possibilities show up

When you loosen your grip on maintaining the thing that you have been convinced is the way it has to be, or loosen your grip on the thing you now are aware you’ve been tolerating, things will shift.

Possibilities you may never have considered are likely to feel real.

So, what can it look like to loosen your grip?

1. Get curious!

Ask yourself questions like:

• Why have I been holding tight to the belief that the way I run my business has to be the same as it has been? What could a different business model look like?

• What beliefs might I let go of about my role in our annual family gatherings?

• What would an ideal location be for me to feel happy every day? Do I need to stay in this city?

• What might working for another company, or taking on a new or bigger role, be like?

• What am I afraid of? What’s the worst possible outcome of a change? What’s the best possible outcome?

• What if I doubted myself less and showed up in a bigger way?

2. Consider small steps to take.

Having identified something you want to change, and getting curious to open insights and ideas, it is time to take action.

(By the way, action is a great antidote to fear. The act of starting will build enthusiasm and reduce hesitation and doubt!)

Your initial action might be to talk to people who have done the thing you are considering, and learn from their experience.

You can generate lists of possibilities and see which are the most appealing, so you can begin to test them. 

You can set a vision of that new thing already having happened. Holding that vision will make you feel excited and motivated to take ongoing steps in that direction.

3. Build momentum.

Having put a plan in motion, stay committed to yourself — and keep the curiosity going.

You are likely to adjust your initial ideas and expand or redefine your vision as new possibilities, resources, and supporters show up.

As you pursue the thing your heart asked for, you are sure to show up more fully and bring more boldness into the ways you approach your life.

That’s what living big is all about.

Feel free to let me know about the change you feel called to consider, or one that you are in the midst of now. It’s easy — just email me.

What are you ready to let go of?

Are you holding on to things that no longer matter?

So many of us struggle to let go. There is so much we accumulate that we stop seeing and using.

We are surrounded by things we no longer need — and if we pause to consider, there’s usually a lot we no longer even want.

What things can you let go of now?

Physical clutter feels daunting to think about for many of us. When will we find the time and energy to tackle a closet that is packed, or a room with drawers and shelves that are overstuffed?

What if you chose to take a baby step?

What if you started with a single drawer or focused on one small thing?

Last week I scheduled a pick-up with a non-profit that takes used books and finds new homes for them. It was the perfect way to get motivated to look at shelves around the house and fill the requisite 7 small boxes with books to donate. 

In no time, I had selected old travel books, novels I had no interest in rereading, books related to my first business (that I sold in 2011!), cookbooks I haven't used in years or didn't really like, and more.

Having quickly filled the boxes, it was fun to readjust the shelves, now with breathing room for small objects and photos to be placed where they add delight.

The books are now out of my house and on their way to new homes. I feel more spacious and happy, having done just one small thing to clear my environment. 

Think about emotional clutter, too.

In addition to the tangible clutter in your home and office, that you can slowly address and let go of, consider emotional clutter. We all have some of that.

What have you been tolerating that drags you down emotionally and/or energetically?  

Perhaps there are people or situations in your life that drain your energy or impact your thinking in negative ways. 

Start by becoming aware of them. Perhaps writing in a journal will help you identify them, see their impact, and be more alert to where they interfere. 

With that awareness, you may naturally start to address, eliminate, or resolve them.

And if you choose not to actively do anything about them now, that’s fine. Having the awareness is a key first step.

Start with one small, specific step today

What one small thing can you commit to now?

It can be something as small as choosing a focal point to start in on — and setting a date to begin to address it.

You might journal about clutter for 15 minutes next weekend.

You might schedule a pick-up of clothes and household items for a local charity.

Whatever small step you take, you will have the satisfaction of having started.

Each baby step takes you a step closer to the spaciousness of a less-cluttered environment, and a less-cluttered mind.

In time, as your life becomes less cluttered, stress and anxiety will subside. You will feel pride about your accomplishments, and enjoy the bonus of enhanced self-esteem.

In short, you will feel happier! Imagine how great that will be.

Give yourself the gift of going deep

Most accomplished women are lucky to carve out bits of time for quiet reflection, much less deep thinking.

Endless to-do lists run their lives. And when time does open up, many don’t think to reflect, or know how to approach quiet inquiry. They usually find themselves returning to being busy, or they get distracted in all sorts of ways that quickly fill time. 

What going deep can look like

I first ventured into deep personal exploration over a decade ago and it changed my life. Working with a coach, I was prompted and guided to explore questions I never had before.

And a notable part of my journey was when I dared to start painting in 2015. It has enabled me to know myself and express myself in truly remarkable ways.

Having just returned from attending a fabulous week at a writing retreat, I am so glad I took a big new step on my path of meaningful expansion.

I was guided to bravely begin writing and to trust myself in a new medium. I was with a small group of inspiring women, also bravely writing stories that were powerful, funny, moving, raw, and provocative. We all explored and made discoveries found in deep places inside of us. 

We each dared to take this time for ourselves, motivated by a desire to grow in new ways as we shaped our ideas, committed them to paper, and received loving feedback from our teacher and each other.

We showed up for ourselves. We connected to parts of ourselves we do not usually approach. We excavated courageously and found gems.

I see great similarities between what happened for me last week and what I witness each time I lead my Live Big Live! program.

I feel a thrill when I see my clients discover exciting and gratifying work — or reignite their passion for what they do each day.

It is wonderful to observe the ways they are now forging, or repairing, or finding relationships from a grounded, clear, centered place.

They are each moving into exciting futures, with space to honor their well-being, with clarity, confidence and joy.

Are you ready to meet yourself in a new way?

The experience of connecting to yourself and igniting a huge spark in your life is possible for you, too.

If you are intrigued by the idea of making time for your own journey to your heart, so that you connect to your deep desires, clarify a vision for your most fulfilling future, and express yourself with joy, the spring Live Big Live! program may be right for you. 

You can be part of an intimate group of wonderful women who are bravely honoring themselves as they embark on rewarding journeys of self-discovery.

If you hear a small voice (or maybe a loud, “Yes!”) saying this is the time to connect to all of who you are, and be guided to living your most fulfilling life (whether you have an image of what that looks like or are trying to figure it out), let’s get on a call.

There are still a few spots available for the upcoming Live Big Live! retreat, but the deadline for enrollment is coming fast.

Let’s connect and see if this is a fit for you.

Schedule a call today

Six months in, six to go!

July has arrived, and with it the realization that this year has hit the mid-point. This is a perfect time to pause and think about where you are as you head into the second half of the year.

Here are some ways you can take stock:

1. Check in with your word-of-the-year — or choose one now

If, way back in January, you chose a word to guide your year, this is a great time to revisit the word you selected and reflect on how you've been using it to inspire and guide you the last 6 months — or how you want to reconnect to the word you chose and have it inspire you now.

And, if you did not choose a word for yourself, but want to know how you can choose one to guide you in the final half of the year, check out my blog post about how to approach this wonderful practice.

2. Revisit the plans you made, the dreams you dreamed, the goals you set

Many people make big plans, dream, or set ambitious goals for themselves as the year begins. If you were moved to do something like that, now’s the perfect time to think about what’s happened to those ambitions.

If you have let things slip, this is the time to reconnect with them, review your progress to date, and decide if you are still feeling the same motivation. Maybe something has shifted in an important way and you will see different or more beneficial opportunities. Maybe you will have an idea for a simpler or better way to approach a goal that you struggled with.

Maybe your assessment will show that you are ahead of where you expected. If that’s the case, now is the time to decide if you want to expand on the goal, if the pace has been working or if you’ve pushed harder than you’ve liked, or if you want to celebrate the completion and embark on a small additional goal for the last six months of the year.

And, consider what lessons have you learned — lessons that you can build on now, or that will shine a light on modifications that will make it easier to proceed.

3. Commit to the actions you need to take now

Having great intentions does not ensure progress or success. Commitment is needed! And true commitment requires you to make specific plans and follow through.

Now is the time to start listing what it will take to accomplish your objectives. This is a good project to do when you have some quiet time (maybe on a beach?) to sit, think, and get real about all the steps that will make your wish a reality. Then, with a detailed list in hand, it’s time to schedule each step in your calendar. Be realistic as you do this. Consider the time each task is likely to take. Work around vacations, major family events, conferences you’ll be traveling to, etc. The more carefully you schedule the tasks, the more likely you’ll be to stick with your plan and make satisfying progress.

And, look for someone who can help you stay on track. Who do you know that wants to be intentional in the second half of the year and might be a good Accountability Partner? This is a great way for you to support one another — and to celebrate your successes, too!

And, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.