Free Yourself From Mental Blocks

I think a lot about thinking — particularly about the power of our thoughts.

When any of us worries, feels insecure, or is doubtful, we tend to think about the external causes for those uncomfortable feelings.

We worry about things like our bank balance, we feel insecure about a relationship, we doubt our ability to meet someone’s expectation. We easily default to feeling fear and scarcity, And we point to reasons those thoughts are reasonable or justified.

The truth is that no matter what is going on externally, it’s your mindset that’s the key to the way you think about and respond to everything — the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Your thoughts can pull you down — or lift you up

When you tune in to the power of your mindset, the lens through which you chose to see the world, you can begin to choose your thoughts.

You have the opportunity to look at the old, ingrained thinking that has long kept your thoughts running in a specific way. And with that awareness, you can actively start considering the same situations differently.

For instance, with some focus, you can identify old stories you grew to believe, that drive thoughts that get in your way.

You stories and beliefs might be like some of these:

• You have to mind every cent you spend, because money is hard to earn and hard to keep

• You have to work really hard to prove that you are smart enough or talented enough.

• The world is unfair.

• Only having many degrees and certifications will prove you are smart.

When you continue operating without awareness that stories like these are coloring your outlook — or running the show — you are at the mercy of your thoughts.

The good news is that you have the power to begin to think differently.

How to start shifting stuck thinking

To begin to change old engrained ways of thinking, first identify the stories and beliefs that have been on automatic pilot in your head.

Pull out a journal and start jotting notes.

• Recall what you always heard a parent say about money.

• What did they say about love?

• What were their warnings about the world?

• Did they teach you you had to sacrifice yourself for other’s wellbeing?

• Did they judge your looks, your intelligence, your quietness or brashness?

• How about what you heard from teachers?

• Did a sports coach impart a way of thinking that has limited you?

See what shows up on the page. 

Then choose ONE thing to consciously be aware of for the next few days.

Spot when that belief or story shows up. (And congratulate yourself each time you spot it!)

Once you have noticed it, choose to consider the situation, in that moment, as if that old belief were not there. 

As you gently practice reconsidering and reframing a situation (like moving your thoughts from scarcity to abundance, or from feeling shame to ease —or even confidence), you will be making important mindset shifts.

Stay with it and watch how your life changes

Having made one limiting belief your focus for a while, you can begin to bring awareness to other old limiting beliefs you recalled in your notes.

The key is to be patient with yourself as you spot and reframe. You are doing deep inside work, and it takes time.

Thoughts that have been embedded for years will not disappear in a flash.

And, they will shift with consistent awareness and conscious efforts to see the world in a new light.

When you consistently believe in the real you — the woman who is remarkable in so many ways — without the doubts and fears that had been in your way, you will notice how much easier it is to move through each day.

You will relish feeling freer. Things will move more smoothly and be easier. You will naturally feel happier.

And if you want a guide to help you let go of old entrenched beliefs, book time for a call with with me here.

I’ll be happy to chat with you.

Simple Tools to Reclaim Your Energy

It’s always a joy to speak to audiences of great women — women who are committed to doing important work in the world and show up as their best selves — as I did last week in a program I led for women working in healthcare in Sydney Australia.

In addition to their efforts at work, they carry the loads of family responsibilities, volunteering, getting new certifications, sometimes caring for aging relatives.

Maybe you can relate to the feelings of overwhelm that were shared in this session, as they so often are when I speak.

When I guided the attendees through a Discovery Dozen™ exercise (which you will be familiar with if you have a copy of my book), things women shared that they yearned for in order to take better care of their bodies and their spirits, included:

• focused, quality time with their children

• time to spend in nature, to swim, to exercise 

• more confidence, belief and trust in themselves

• the ability to set boundaries with ease

• being kinder to themselves

• booking and planning time away

• more time to have fun with their pets

Being able to connect to deep desires like these is a key first step to bringing positive change into your life.

So, here’s a question for you:

What things would make a difference in your wellbeing each day? 

I invite you to sit with the question and see what shows up.

(And if you want to use a Discovery Dozen to explore that question, reach out and I will provide a prompt and explain how to use this amazing tool.)

When I speak to audiences, coach women, lead retreats, and offer programs for organizations to support the great women in their companies so that they thrive, my focus is always on offering small yet power steps that make a significant difference — that help women access and amplify the creative power they possess.

I have many tools and approaches that help women to connect to and unleash their abundant creative power, so that they create the truly fulfilling lives they yearn for. 

Let’s connect and talk about the changes that will be transformative for you to make.

We can also talk about ways I can help you build a culture where the women in your organization are supported to make their biggest, best contributions, while living rich satisfying lives.

Book time with me here.

I look forward to a great conversation.

Break Routine, Embrace New Growth

It’s always easy to stay in your comfort zone. It feels safe — and comfortable.

Staying in your comfort zone related to work and career can look like not requesting or applying for an opportunity that will stretch or challenge you. Or it might look like tolerating something such as a toxic culture, or being undervalued.

Your relationship comfort zone might look like not reaching out to connect with someone for fear of rejection. It could mean staying in a relationship with someone who is chronically inconsiderate because you have become dependent on that person or cannot fathom ending the relationship. It could be feeling disappointment or unhappiness with someone over a long period of time, and staying quiet, because you don’t want to — or know how to — have a difficult conversation.

Your comfort zone might keep you staying in a location in spite of drawbacks, because you feel scared to make a change.

It may have been recommended, or you may have a desire to take care of your health in a particular way, and you’ve resisted. Or you may love the idea of trying something new and challenging, such as running a 5K or learning to play a new sport, and instead you sit it out because you don't want to try and fail.

You may have thought about learning something new, like playing an instrument, speaking a new language, or taking a course in a subject that fascinates you, but didn’t move forward because it felt daunting, or you did not want to change your routine to fit it in.

Routines and structures that are familiar feel comfortable. That can be fine in many cases.

And there are other cases where you pay a price for staying comfortable.

Always staying in your comfort zone is a trap 

While you can draw on past experience when you stay in your comfort zone, when you always do things the same way in spite of feeling a desire for something new or different (or even having a solid reason to make a change), or you resist doing something you have been curious about or desired, your complacency takes a toll.

You miss out on a lot: growth, progress, possibilities, discoveries, expansion.

And your comfort zone — that can grow when you try new things, learn new things, dare to test and explore, open yourself to new experiences — will not have the opportunity to expand!

Choose one way to expand your comfort zone

Start by observing yourself today. What shows up that’s related to staying in your comfort zone?

Maybe you will notice that

• you are in a rut about your lunch routine

• you stay quiet when a part of you wants to speak up

• you feel excited about an idea and then talk yourself out of pursing it

• you shop for a blouse and pick a style or color that you always choose

• you spend your evening like you always do, even though it’s a bit boring

• you skipped taking a long bike ride with a friend and did extra work instead

When you have observed one or more ways you stayed comfortable or safe, choose one thing on your list to begin to strive to change.

I suggest you consider the least intimidating thing on your list, and make that small thing your focus for bringing a bit of change into your day tomorrow.

Don’t go for making a huge change all at once.

The idea is to start with stretching a little bit beyond your comfort zone at the start, so you can appreciate yourself for a successful effort.

Then take that farther, or bring another thing on your list into your focus for making a small change.

And celebrate yourself for each effort you make!

Remember that when you try something new and it does not go as you’d hoped, or it takes continued practice to achieve, you can make adjustments to your approach. You can get help. Or you can put that aside, try something else on your list, and come back to it.

In time you will be able to take on bolder efforts.

See what happens as you bring change to one way you have stayed in your comfort zone each week, and as you continue to do that for a while.

As you reap the benefits, you are sure to enjoy the process.

You are also likely to see that you will naturally feel good about taking on new things and making bigger changes. And your confidence and self-trust will grow.

That’s a wonderful way to live big! 

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.

How to Build the Future You Desire, One Step at a Time

I invite you to dream a bit. Right now, right where you are.

Close your eyes for a minute or two and imagine being the best version of you in a year — or 5 years — from now.

Dare to dream big, as you imagine what that version of you will look like.

Imagine waking up each day, and how you will show up in the world.

Maybe you will be leading at a higher level. 

Maybe you will be bolder, more confident.

Maybe you will make a big change — in location, in a relationship, in the field in which you work.

Maybe you will be creating something new and amazing.

Dreams can excite you and challenge you 

Quickly jot down the vision you imagined.

Then breathe and feel the emotions that have surfaced.

I venture to guess that the vision you imagined may feel both exciting and daunting.

After all, when we dare to dream big, a part of us tends to step in and say things like:

• Who are you to dream that big?

• That idea is way too scary!

• You can’t do that! 

• You can’t be that kind of person!

• You don't know how to do that thing!
  
  

What will you choose?

It is easy to shy away from big dreams. It feels safe to stay the same.

You know the status quo, even if there are aspects of who you are now and what you do now that you wish were different.

And, its important to know that living a static life, while it may feel comfortable, takes a toll.

• When you tolerate stress…

• When you stay in a situation that is less than satisfying…

• When you fail to try things that your heart yearns to experience… 

• When you stay quiet in spite of knowing there is more of you to show the world…

you stay in a state of being that’s a smaller version of who you truly are.

I know this from personal experience. I lived a very small version of my true self for decades.

What I learned, when I dared to dream big and begin to make small changes, changed my life!

As I slowly stepped into being a more fully expressed, confident woman, I was able to slowly let go of beliefs that had relentlessly dogged me — that I was not good enough or capable enough to do big new things. That I could show up authentically and feel secure in who I was. That I would be able to discover and pursue new and meaningful work and ways of living.

I learned to believe in myself. I learned to connect to my heart and I heard what it was asking me to try and be and do.

And I dared to begin to test out new ways of showing up — and kept going.

Hold your big vision! 

Staying the same means you miss out on tremendous possibilities, great satisfaction, and knowing that you are making the most of your one precious life.

Not only that, staying the same means the world misses out on receiving all that the big, fully expressed version of you has to contribute. We miss out on your genius!

I invite you to hold your vision with reverence.

Type it out, edit it to be full and vivid.

And read it every day — when you wake up and before you go to bed. 

Then, as you start each morning, think about one tiny step you can take to move toward the vision that you conjured. 

Each day holds great opportunities for you to do something just outside of your comfort zone, like:

• showing up with more authenticity

• sharing an idea you have held back on

• proposing a small change

• reaching out and inviting someone into a conversation

• creating simply for the joy it brings you

These small, consistent kinds of actions will move you forward, in ways that will compound over time.

Why not take a tiny step in the direction of your dream now?

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.

Overcoming Doubt: Embrace Your Authentic Self with Confidence

Being myself — authentically and unapologetically me — and feeling completely comfortable showing up without pretense, is one of the hardest things I’ve learned to do.

It was not so many years ago that I thought I had to dress and speak the way others expected me to.

I almost always compared myself to other women I admired (and often thought I did not measure up).

I worried that I was not smart enough or capable enough, and had not secured enough degrees.

I frequently felt that I was not good enough.

All of those feelings amounted to a heavy load to bear.

I lived with doubt. I lived with a lot of shame. And I was pretty sure that almost all of the great women around me had it all together — that they were fully confident being their authentic amazing selves.

It also seemed to me that the way I thought about myself was something I would always have to live with. 

What I learned that surprised me

I started to work with my first coach about 15 years ago. I wanted help with my business at a time that the economy was brutal. In short, I wanted strategies, and nothing more.

Much to my surprise, my coach probed deeply and asked me lots of uncomfortable questions about how I showed up in the world (or didn't), and those questions brought me face-to-face with truths I was embarrassed to acknowledge.

And, I could not deny the truth — that I was operating as a smaller version of who I really was, for fear that I was not good enough.

With loving support, I was able to fully face realities I had not dared to look squarely at before. And that support from my coach enabled me to begin to show up more fully, even though it felt terrifying at first.

I eventually decided to sell my business and dove into studying the mysteries and power of creativity. After training to be a coach, I started coaching other great women who yearned to create truly fulfilling lives where they could show up as their brilliant selves, without doubting that they were not enough.

Do you feel good enough?

If you can answer that question with a whole-hearted, “Yes!” I am thrilled for you.

Your next step into creating a future that will light you up will begin with a foundation that is strong.

And if your answer is something like mine was not so long ago, or you know you had that confidence at one point and for whatever reason it has slipped away, I get it.

It can feel sad, scary, shameful or a mix of all of those emotions. It can feel daunting to imagine yourself owning your greatness without the need to fake it or struggle.

And I know that you can get there.

I did it, and I am honored to guide women though their journeys to standing proudly in their unique greatness.

Begin with taking baby steps

It feels daunting to attempt big changes all at once — and pushing yourself to make those efforts can lead to overwhelm and shut-down. Why not take a small first step instead — and why not give one a try today?

If you tend to dress in ways that feel “safe” at work, you might add a dash of color or add an accessory that expresses a facet of yourself you typically don’t show. 

If you don't have a headshot that reflects your warmth, humor, or any other aspect of your personality, consider engaging a photographer and then update your LinkedIn profile. 

If you have something to contribute and have held back for fear that your ideas are not good enough or may get shot down, think of someone you trust and test out ways to offer your suggestions with that friend or colleague. With some feedback, practice and encouragement, it will be easier for you to choose a time and place, and feel comfortable, speaking up.

Getting help makes a world of difference. Having help enabled me to move beyond my limitations — and do it with more ease and more quickly than what was possible on my own. 

It would be my pleasure to speak with you so that you can explore the ways coaching can help you to fully embrace your specialness and share it with the world.

Schedule a chat with me here.