Free Yourself From Mental Blocks

I think a lot about thinking — particularly about the power of our thoughts.

When any of us worries, feels insecure, or is doubtful, we tend to think about the external causes for those uncomfortable feelings.

We worry about things like our bank balance, we feel insecure about a relationship, we doubt our ability to meet someone’s expectation. We easily default to feeling fear and scarcity, And we point to reasons those thoughts are reasonable or justified.

The truth is that no matter what is going on externally, it’s your mindset that’s the key to the way you think about and respond to everything — the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Your thoughts can pull you down — or lift you up

When you tune in to the power of your mindset, the lens through which you chose to see the world, you can begin to choose your thoughts.

You have the opportunity to look at the old, ingrained thinking that has long kept your thoughts running in a specific way. And with that awareness, you can actively start considering the same situations differently.

For instance, with some focus, you can identify old stories you grew to believe, that drive thoughts that get in your way.

You stories and beliefs might be like some of these:

• You have to mind every cent you spend, because money is hard to earn and hard to keep

• You have to work really hard to prove that you are smart enough or talented enough.

• The world is unfair.

• Only having many degrees and certifications will prove you are smart.

When you continue operating without awareness that stories like these are coloring your outlook — or running the show — you are at the mercy of your thoughts.

The good news is that you have the power to begin to think differently.

How to start shifting stuck thinking

To begin to change old engrained ways of thinking, first identify the stories and beliefs that have been on automatic pilot in your head.

Pull out a journal and start jotting notes.

• Recall what you always heard a parent say about money.

• What did they say about love?

• What were their warnings about the world?

• Did they teach you you had to sacrifice yourself for other’s wellbeing?

• Did they judge your looks, your intelligence, your quietness or brashness?

• How about what you heard from teachers?

• Did a sports coach impart a way of thinking that has limited you?

See what shows up on the page. 

Then choose ONE thing to consciously be aware of for the next few days.

Spot when that belief or story shows up. (And congratulate yourself each time you spot it!)

Once you have noticed it, choose to consider the situation, in that moment, as if that old belief were not there. 

As you gently practice reconsidering and reframing a situation (like moving your thoughts from scarcity to abundance, or from feeling shame to ease —or even confidence), you will be making important mindset shifts.

Stay with it and watch how your life changes

Having made one limiting belief your focus for a while, you can begin to bring awareness to other old limiting beliefs you recalled in your notes.

The key is to be patient with yourself as you spot and reframe. You are doing deep inside work, and it takes time.

Thoughts that have been embedded for years will not disappear in a flash.

And, they will shift with consistent awareness and conscious efforts to see the world in a new light.

When you consistently believe in the real you — the woman who is remarkable in so many ways — without the doubts and fears that had been in your way, you will notice how much easier it is to move through each day.

You will relish feeling freer. Things will move more smoothly and be easier. You will naturally feel happier.

And if you want a guide to help you let go of old entrenched beliefs, book time for a call with with me here.

I’ll be happy to chat with you.

Break Routine, Embrace New Growth

It’s always easy to stay in your comfort zone. It feels safe — and comfortable.

Staying in your comfort zone related to work and career can look like not requesting or applying for an opportunity that will stretch or challenge you. Or it might look like tolerating something such as a toxic culture, or being undervalued.

Your relationship comfort zone might look like not reaching out to connect with someone for fear of rejection. It could mean staying in a relationship with someone who is chronically inconsiderate because you have become dependent on that person or cannot fathom ending the relationship. It could be feeling disappointment or unhappiness with someone over a long period of time, and staying quiet, because you don’t want to — or know how to — have a difficult conversation.

Your comfort zone might keep you staying in a location in spite of drawbacks, because you feel scared to make a change.

It may have been recommended, or you may have a desire to take care of your health in a particular way, and you’ve resisted. Or you may love the idea of trying something new and challenging, such as running a 5K or learning to play a new sport, and instead you sit it out because you don't want to try and fail.

You may have thought about learning something new, like playing an instrument, speaking a new language, or taking a course in a subject that fascinates you, but didn’t move forward because it felt daunting, or you did not want to change your routine to fit it in.

Routines and structures that are familiar feel comfortable. That can be fine in many cases.

And there are other cases where you pay a price for staying comfortable.

Always staying in your comfort zone is a trap 

While you can draw on past experience when you stay in your comfort zone, when you always do things the same way in spite of feeling a desire for something new or different (or even having a solid reason to make a change), or you resist doing something you have been curious about or desired, your complacency takes a toll.

You miss out on a lot: growth, progress, possibilities, discoveries, expansion.

And your comfort zone — that can grow when you try new things, learn new things, dare to test and explore, open yourself to new experiences — will not have the opportunity to expand!

Choose one way to expand your comfort zone

Start by observing yourself today. What shows up that’s related to staying in your comfort zone?

Maybe you will notice that

• you are in a rut about your lunch routine

• you stay quiet when a part of you wants to speak up

• you feel excited about an idea and then talk yourself out of pursing it

• you shop for a blouse and pick a style or color that you always choose

• you spend your evening like you always do, even though it’s a bit boring

• you skipped taking a long bike ride with a friend and did extra work instead

When you have observed one or more ways you stayed comfortable or safe, choose one thing on your list to begin to strive to change.

I suggest you consider the least intimidating thing on your list, and make that small thing your focus for bringing a bit of change into your day tomorrow.

Don’t go for making a huge change all at once.

The idea is to start with stretching a little bit beyond your comfort zone at the start, so you can appreciate yourself for a successful effort.

Then take that farther, or bring another thing on your list into your focus for making a small change.

And celebrate yourself for each effort you make!

Remember that when you try something new and it does not go as you’d hoped, or it takes continued practice to achieve, you can make adjustments to your approach. You can get help. Or you can put that aside, try something else on your list, and come back to it.

In time you will be able to take on bolder efforts.

See what happens as you bring change to one way you have stayed in your comfort zone each week, and as you continue to do that for a while.

As you reap the benefits, you are sure to enjoy the process.

You are also likely to see that you will naturally feel good about taking on new things and making bigger changes. And your confidence and self-trust will grow.

That’s a wonderful way to live big! 

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.