Overwhelmed? Here’s How a Simple ‘Mini-Reset’ Can Restore Your Energy

We humans are complex, and women who are committed to doing their best — at work, at home, and in the world — can easily overload their nervous systems.

We plan, we strive, we feel deeply, we push — often to the breaking point. Sadly, this way of living becomes “normal” for so many of us.

Even on weekends and when we take vacations, we can struggle to fully unplug and rest.

And it takes a toll.

I often say that we are not machines, but many of us live as though we were. And most of us do not even pause for routine maintenance (which we would never skip for the cars we drive!). We do not think about protecting ourselves from future breakdowns. We just keep grinding away.

What if you shifted gears?

I invite you to appreciate the vital importance of taking a break.

While it’s great to pause and breathe with intention during a busy day, I am suggesting something that will have a bigger benefit.

I call it mini-reset.

Consider setting aside a weekend day (or more time if you have a vacation planned). And to make it really interesting skip the planning.

Yup. Even if you love to plan in advance, give this a try!

Whether you are alone, with a friend, or surrounded by kids and family, imagine starting this unplanned day quietly and slowly.

Ask yourself

• what might be fun to do?

• what would bring me joy?

• how might I play?

• where might be a fun place to explore?

• what would be a great way to surprise myself?

Consider ways to spend time with no agenda other than pleasure and ease!

Maybe you’ll get in the car and take a winding country road to a town you haven't explored before, or for a while. When you get there you might try a cafe, window shop, walk through a park, meander on side streets.

Maybe you’ll head to a museum without a clue about the exhibitions on view, to follow your nose as you move through galleries and make discoveries.

Maybe you’ll choose a spot close to home and sit and watch the world go by. Look at the sky, people-watch, look closely at things you usually rush by and make a point of finding small moments of wonder.

Whatever you choose to do, notice what's around you — the sights, sounds and smells.

Take note of how you feel.

Memories may show up.

Curiosity is likely to be peaked.

New ideas may pop into your head at random moments.

Commit to periodic dates for mini-resets

Just as you would not miss your semi-annual dental appointment or annual physical, commit to regular dates for resetting your nervous system.

Remember, whether you choose a date each month or each season, you can gather up the crew or go alone. You can stay put and read something you have not made time for. You can putter in your garden if that brings you pleasure. You can cook something you've been curious to try.

These periodic mini-resets will help your complex, overworked brain and body get the preventive maintenance — including minor repairs — to function optimally.

And as you reap the benefits and continue to choose dates for resets, they will likely become a normal part of the rhythm of your life.

So pick a date for your first mini-reset right now!

And remember, as tempted as you might be, don’t do any advance planning!

Let yourself make a choice that morning and see how the day unfolds!

I’d be delighted for you to share your mini-reset experiences with me. Schedule a chat here.

Overcoming Doubt: Embrace Your Authentic Self with Confidence

Being myself — authentically and unapologetically me — and feeling completely comfortable showing up without pretense, is one of the hardest things I’ve learned to do.

It was not so many years ago that I thought I had to dress and speak the way others expected me to.

I almost always compared myself to other women I admired (and often thought I did not measure up).

I worried that I was not smart enough or capable enough, and had not secured enough degrees.

I frequently felt that I was not good enough.

All of those feelings amounted to a heavy load to bear.

I lived with doubt. I lived with a lot of shame. And I was pretty sure that almost all of the great women around me had it all together — that they were fully confident being their authentic amazing selves.

It also seemed to me that the way I thought about myself was something I would always have to live with. 

What I learned that surprised me

I started to work with my first coach about 15 years ago. I wanted help with my business at a time that the economy was brutal. In short, I wanted strategies, and nothing more.

Much to my surprise, my coach probed deeply and asked me lots of uncomfortable questions about how I showed up in the world (or didn't), and those questions brought me face-to-face with truths I was embarrassed to acknowledge.

And, I could not deny the truth — that I was operating as a smaller version of who I really was, for fear that I was not good enough.

With loving support, I was able to fully face realities I had not dared to look squarely at before. And that support from my coach enabled me to begin to show up more fully, even though it felt terrifying at first.

I eventually decided to sell my business and dove into studying the mysteries and power of creativity. After training to be a coach, I started coaching other great women who yearned to create truly fulfilling lives where they could show up as their brilliant selves, without doubting that they were not enough.

Do you feel good enough?

If you can answer that question with a whole-hearted, “Yes!” I am thrilled for you.

Your next step into creating a future that will light you up will begin with a foundation that is strong.

And if your answer is something like mine was not so long ago, or you know you had that confidence at one point and for whatever reason it has slipped away, I get it.

It can feel sad, scary, shameful or a mix of all of those emotions. It can feel daunting to imagine yourself owning your greatness without the need to fake it or struggle.

And I know that you can get there.

I did it, and I am honored to guide women though their journeys to standing proudly in their unique greatness.

Begin with taking baby steps

It feels daunting to attempt big changes all at once — and pushing yourself to make those efforts can lead to overwhelm and shut-down. Why not take a small first step instead — and why not give one a try today?

If you tend to dress in ways that feel “safe” at work, you might add a dash of color or add an accessory that expresses a facet of yourself you typically don’t show. 

If you don't have a headshot that reflects your warmth, humor, or any other aspect of your personality, consider engaging a photographer and then update your LinkedIn profile. 

If you have something to contribute and have held back for fear that your ideas are not good enough or may get shot down, think of someone you trust and test out ways to offer your suggestions with that friend or colleague. With some feedback, practice and encouragement, it will be easier for you to choose a time and place, and feel comfortable, speaking up.

Getting help makes a world of difference. Having help enabled me to move beyond my limitations — and do it with more ease and more quickly than what was possible on my own. 

It would be my pleasure to speak with you so that you can explore the ways coaching can help you to fully embrace your specialness and share it with the world.

Schedule a chat with me here.

Manage Stress with These Powerful Techniques

Few would disagree that when we operate in a stressful environment we are unable to be our best.

And few of us are free from stress these days.

The current external environment often changes by the hour, and in ways that are unsettling and even frightening.

And day-to-day, normal stresses arise at work, in relationships, in our communities.

Even the “good” stresses of welcoming a new baby to the world or moving to a new home take a toll.

How to manage your energy in the midst of stress

It may help to consider that we are all connected — we are connected to other people and the natural world through an energetic web. We do not operate in a vacuum.

This web of connection — that may sound obvious to you, or may sound a bit woo — is something we can tap in meaningful ways, especially when we feel unsteady.

If you are willing to accept that concept, try these approaches when you find stress interfering with your ability to think clearly or take action without fear.

1. Get quiet and connect to your heart 

When you take a break of just one to five minutes to sit quietly and breath, your nervous system will settle. Sit in a comfortable position, preferably in a quiet place, and put a hand on your heart. As you breathe slowly, send loving thoughts to your heart. Sense the connection in your heart to people you love. Think of people you admire. Imagine a beautiful place in nature. Sit and savor the feelings.

2. Remind yourself of all the ways you are special

The benefits of thinking self-loving thoughts are more meaningful than you might imagine. Studies show that self-compassion, and self-loving thoughts and practices, decrease anxiety, depression, and loneliness, and that stress is reduced at a cellular level! Remind yourself that you are wonderful. You are resourceful. You have help and love all around you. Think and speak lovingly to yourself, and know that the more you feel love and share love with others, the more love will expand in your life.

3. Connect to others

We are social beings, and while many of us think it’s best do things on our own, and that doing things alone proves that we are capable, the truth is that we are stronger — and more is possible — when we choose to be connected socially, choose to collaborate, choose to ask for help. Making these connections is a powerful way to live with less stress.

You can leverage your invisible connections

When you bring consciousness to, and adopt practices that connect your elevated, self-loving spirit to other people — and to the natural world — you are likely to find that your life gets better.

Things will feel — and be — easier for you.

You will speak differently. You will listen differently. You will likely notice subtleties and ways to connect to others more deeply.

As you share both energetically and in real-time with others, and appreciate the wonder all around you, your connection to your deep desires will surface more easily, your spirit will soar, and you will live with more joy.

Imagine what can be possible for you when you bring a focus to all the ways you can fully love yourself, and to making true energetic connection with others.

If you want some personal guidance for how you can build self-love or tap into the energy of love with more ease, schedule a chat with me here.

Clarity comes when you focus on what’s possible

We are hard-wired to look back — to review, evaluate, and process past events.

And, while there are often great lessons to be learned when we look back, there are also traps that we can easily fall into:

• We replay past failures

• We relive disappointing moments

• We get mired in resentment, often blaming ourselves or others

• We sink into regret

Consider where you focus your attention

Whenever an outcome is less than ideal, you have the opportunity to make a conscious decision about how you will reflect on it and what to do once you’ve done that.

When you take stock of a situation, ask questions like:

• When I look at the matter clearly, is there something I can learn from it?

• Did I make clear decisions at the start of the process?

• Did I miss seeing something at the time that is apparent in hindsight?

• What would I do differently knowing what I now know?

• Will this matter to me a month from now, or a year from now?

• Can I laugh about this?

The answers to these questions can be valuable. And when you focus on the insights you gleaned, and can even find humor to tap into, it will be easier to stay clear of the urge to rehash the events or suffer regret.

Next try asking these questions:

• What does my heart desire now?

• What is the next step I can take to move ahead positively?

• Have I asked good questions related to taking my next move?

• How do I want to show up and feel going forward?

You get to choose the way you’ll show up

When you remember that you always have the opportunity to choose your frame of mind as you move ahead, you can make a choice to: 

• believe in yourself

• be courageous

• be bold

• approach what is next with joy

Keep your focus on where you want to go — and be propelled by the desire you have connected to.

And trust yourself to make wise decisions, based on what you have learned and based on the desire that is propelling you.

The past does not define your future!

Every day is filled with possibilities and opportunities.

You can always tap the vast resource of creative power you possess.

You can always move boldly toward a vision that shines bright for you.

Or simply taking steps to make the next hours and days the best that are possible is fantastic! 

Even when you have experienced a letdown, made a misstep, or failed miserably — and all of us have! — when you embrace the truth that you are powerful and you are brilliant, you can bring that energy to everything you do.

What is possible for you is truly limitless.

You were born to shine. We all were.