Why love matters now

Love is always important. It is always needed. And it feels to me that a focus on love is especially important now.

Love starts with us

How do you feel and hold love in your heart?

Think about love for yourself as well as love for others — those you know, and those you do not know.

Self-love is something many people overlook, or feel awkward about. Yet when you focus on loving yourself — thinking lovingly about yourself, feeling deserving, acting lovingly toward yourself when you take exquisite care of your body and your spirit — your heart opens.

And when your heart opens, more love is available for you to express to others.

How do you speak about love, in your own thoughts and in conversations?

There are many ways to think lovingly and to express yourself lovingly. 

Pay attention to times you may berate yourself. When you spot such a thought or comment, do your best to reframe it — turn it around and restate it with love.

And look for opportunities to speak lovingly to others, and about others. Loving thoughts and comments are generous. They are free of judgement. 

It may take some practice, but when you bring awareness to your thoughts and ways of speaking, you will spot opportunities to bring more love into many moments.

How can you bring more love into your heart, your spirit and the world around you?

There are countless opportunities to amplify love. See how many ways you can create love today.

Loving gestures, comments, and actions can be small and subtle, or bigger and more dramatic. Any and all ways you make an effort to create more love will be a gift to yourself and to all of humanity.

When we love more, love expands everywhere

I hope you will join me and make love a significant focus, today and every day.

You will benefit and those around you will, too.

As those around you tune in to the vibrations of love, they will feel it and spread love. The recipients, in turn, will touch others.

The ripple effects will spread way beyond what you may ever see. And that is great.

When we all live with more love, we will all contribute to a world that needs that  loving energy.

How do you expand love in your life?

Ahhh, here we are in a week that is particularly focused on love. 

All over Paris and Amsterdam, where I just spent a fabulous weekend, red hearts and messages about love have been spotted in shop windows at every turn.

Love matters

I have written a lot about love over the years. It is powerful fuel for living big.

And most of us are not aware of how many opportunities we have to bring more love into our lives. 

In my post around Valentine’s Day last year, I shared my thoughts about the power of love, including ways to feel and spread more love. 

Two years ago at this time, I wrote about what happens when love expands. That post includes links to a number of other love-related resources you may want to explore.

This is a great week to tune in to love in a broader way than ever, and see what happens for you.

Inspiration opens your heart and makes space for more love

My heart is filled to bursting with a combination of love, gratitude and awe. 

Travel to new places and visits to great museums have been wonderful gifts that contribute to all of those feelings, and I am savoring them.

The sights, sounds, tastes and feeling of being in new cities have opened my eyes and my heart.

And while travel is a special way to find inspiration, there are countless ways to add inspiration to your life!

Consider these opportunities

• You might take a walk, in a new place or someplace familiar, and look for wonder. When you spot a surprising moment of beauty, or something quirky, or anything that captures your fancy, you might want to capture those special moments with the camera on your phone.

• You can visit a local museum or gallery, or window-shop and people-watch in an interesting area.

• Experiment with new recipes, or take an on-line or locally-offered class to learn mixed media techniques, pottery, or any other art-making approach. Any of these will open you to new experiences and awarenesses.

• You might watch a foreign film, or choose some great TED talks that peak your curiosity.

• Why not crack open the case of an instrument you used to play, or sign up to take music lessons for the first time?

Seeing great art powerfully fuels love

I particularly recommend that you seek out great art!

If you can do that in a museum or gallery you will have an especially rich experience. When you stand before a painting or sculpture you not only see the true colors and details, you make an energetic connection to the work.

This gives you feelings of awe, appreciation, inspiration and admiration that go well beyond what is palpable in a photograph of a work of art, in a book or on a screen.

Your own new thoughts and expansive feelings — including loving feelings — are catalyzed when you find art that excites you and you have a proximate experience.

I am sharing some photos of amazing paintings I have loved seeing, and have taken into my heart, in my recent travels. Perhaps you can imaging how moved I felt being close to each of them.

[Artists: Joan Mitchell, Marc Chagall, Raoul Dufy, Josef Albers, Jean Hélion, two of many Johannes Vermeer masterpieces seen at the Rijksmuseum, and Sonia Delauney]

Your heart can open wider than you know

There’s no limit to your capacity to feel love and to give love.

In whatever way you choose, invite experiences that will fuel your heart. You will be richer for it, and the world will be enriched as you share your full heart.

Here are a few photos I’ve taken as I have explored Amsterdam. Check out my Instagram feed to see more of the places and moments I have captured.

A meaningful moment to focus on love

If you have read my book, you’ll recall that I devoted a chapter to Love, and propose that loving more is an important way to Live Big.

I believe that love is enormously powerful — love for others, as well as cultivating a practice of self-love.

And, it’s not always easy to lead with love, or to feel that much love in our day-to-day lives.

But this past weekend I was surrounded by profound love. It felt like swimming in love, and it was glorious.

What happens when we have a full immersion experience

I attended an intimate wedding. My cousin was remarrying after being widowed for five years. Not only has she found a fabulous life partner, the event brought multiple families together and we all shared in the magic.

Her family, his family, and the family of her deceased first husband — including four generations — all came together (along with dear friends) to celebrate.

The joy, delight and sweetness of the experience was magical. And the afterglow has been marvelous. Every experience since (including major snafus with our air travel home) has felt lighter and easier as the loving energy continues to be strong.

I am inspired to create more opportunities for abundant love to fill my heart and the hearts of others.

What happens when we choose a year of love

Sunday night at sundown was the start of the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah, when we mark the start of the Jewish New Year.

(If you are unfamiliar with the two high holidays, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, my friend and colleague Victoria Nessen recently shared an excellent article you may want to read.)

Following the 24-hour observance of Rosh Hashanah we spend 10 days reflecting on the past year and thinking about where we may have missed the mark. On Yom Kippur (that begins at sundown on October 4 this year) we fast, repent, and vow to live a more righteous life in the year ahead.

The opportunity to live a life that is fueled by love is an ideal I am striving for.

I was inspired by the words of Rabbi Yael, in her A Way In Jewish Mindfulness email last week, and am glad to share her wisdom with you:

You stand here with all those you love,
And with all those with whom you deeply disagree.

You stand here today with earth and all beings,
To cross over into a renewed relationship
With the Unfolding Mystery of All Life. (Deut. 29:9-14)

How do we cross? How do we enter the New Year?

The Infinite Life Force, commands:
Go with Love.
Love with all your heart and with all your soul,
And walk in the ways of love. (Deut. 30:16)

The soul trembles,
It churns. It cries: Love in the face of all this?

This is not too great a task for you,
The Infinite responds,
It is in your mouth and heart to do. (Deut 30:14)

Choose love.
Love where you can. Love where you are able.
Love those you love with all your heart, soul and strength.
Love the trees, sky, rivers and rocks.
Let this loving make you strong.

There will be times and places where it will be impossible to love.
Let that be.
There is plenty of opportunity to exercise and expand our capacity to love.

As we lift our eyes to a New Year,
The Torah calls: Choose to act from and for love.
For the sake of your children’s, children’s, children,
For the sake of all beings,
For the sake of all life,
Choose to act from and for love. (Deut 30:19-20)

I am deeply moved by this teaching. I believe we can all choose to act from love, and for love. And the more we are able to do so, the better our lives will be.

Will you join me in loving more?

Whether or not you celebrate the Jewish New Year, we all step into new possibilities each day.

We can always endeavor to live our best lives with keen awareness. We can be mindful and choose love.

It is certainly a practice that requires commitment. The more we practice living with love as a driver, the sooner it will become our natural way of being.

Will it be easy? Will any of us be perfect, always loving? Of course not. But as we continue to choose and act from love, the impact is bound to be big, for us and for the world.

Just as the gathering at my cousin’s wedding filled each of us with immense joy, I wish you a sweet year ahead and a heart filled to the brim with love and happiness.

Recalling 3 special gifts my mother gave me

I don’t know about you, but I just realized that Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend!

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me. It’s wonderful being with my children and two precious grandchildren. But ever since I lost my mother in August 2020, anticipating the day brings back memories of family celebrations over many decades that make me long to embrace my mother again, and see her smile.

I am savoring those sweet memories (including her delight at being with us at my son’s college graduation, that you can see in the photo above), and recalling how much she influenced not only me, but countless others.

My mother’s wisdom

If you are a long-time reader of my Big Ideas, you may recall the post I wrote about my mother's lessons for all of us, that was written soon after she died.

Today I am thinking again about some of the ways she enriched not only her family and friends, but the many ways she had a huge impact that spread far like ripples. Her influence continues to enrich countless people who often speak to me about her.

Here are a few gems I am thinking about and want to share.

When we care about others they remember and are grateful

My mother loved people. Many of my friends continue to recall how much they loved hanging at our house, and secretly wished my mother was theirs.

My mother could meet you at a cafe or sit next to you on a plane ride, and strike up such a rich connection that she would then introduce you to others with whom you’d click right away.

She was genuine and warm and cared. This is something we can all consider when we have opportunities to connect to others.

When we share what we love we inspire others

My mother had a deep love for beautiful things. She loved art. She loved being in nature and seeing beautiful vistas. She set the most exquisite tables (and cooked exquisite food to put on those tables). Many friends have shared stories about how she helped them rearrange a bookcase, or a room, or their kitchen cabinets, so they were both beautiful and functional.

I grew up thinking that everyone was surrounded by beauty and appreciated beauty. I came to realize that that is far from universal.

By tuning in to beauty, and creating moments that are beautiful whenever possible, you add delight to your life and you delight and inspire others.

When we love with a whole heart we create a wonderful life

My mother was full of love. Does that mean she lived a dream life? None of us are blessed with a life that is “perfect.”

And still, love was front and center in her life, and its role was great.

She loved my father for over 70 years. She loved her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Taking her children, and later her grandchildren, on trips meant the world to her — and created many lasting sweet memories. She had deep friendships and spread her smile and love with tremendous generosity.

One amazing way my mother expressed love was through her art. The sketchbooks she filled on vacations, the paintings and prints and drawings that filled our home, all transmitted her love.

I have come to see how much she created, in ways I did not appreciate growing up.

Fueled by love, she created deep meaningful connections. Fueled by love she created environments that were a joy to be in. Fueled by love, she generously helped others. Fueled by love, her culinary creations were legendary. Fueled by love, she adventured to far-off places and brought home stories and drawings to share the delight she felt.

Thanks to my mother, I fuel my life with love

I have made love a great focus in my life. I try and bring that energy to everything I do.

One thing I was inspired to do is study, practice, and teach about the importance of self-love. This is one form of love I wish my mother had made a greater focus for herself.

Why do I consider self-love to be so important? When we truly love and value and believe in ourselves and our gifts, we can bring the greatest love to others, and to everything we do.

I invite you to consider all the ways you can bring a deeper focus to love, and find inspiration for all you do when you make love your starting point.

Rather than having fear, or anger, or anxiety intrude, choose to start with love. Bring it into your relationships, and into the the work you do, and into your orientation to everything, every day.

You will give yourself a magnificent gift and you will spread love far and wide.

In fact, like my mother, you may never even realize the influence you will have.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

How to stay strong now

We are living day by day in the midst of troubling world events.

We have been especially challenged for the last two years, and life always includes challenges. Now, the invasion in Ukraine fills us with deep pain and concern.

We need strength

Truthfully, we always need strength. We need strength to cope with challenges related to health matters, strained relationships, loss and grief, financial pressures, uncertainty, and a host of small daily issues that can knock us off course.

And in this moment, we especially need to find strength — for ourselves, for each other, and to send into the world to support people everywhere who are at risk.

How to find strength

When we are stressed, connecting to our strength may feel difficult. This process may help you:

1. Connect to your emotions.

When you slow down and identify what you are feeling, you have awareness of your current state. Rather than pushing these emotions down, allow yourself to name them and feel them.

(You may want to check out the article I wrote last week, where I shared great ways to give difficult emotions an outlet.)

2. Create calm.

Getting still and quiet allows you to breathe with intension and calm your system.

You may want to place your hands on your heart and imagine your heart breathing in love on each inhale. With each exhale, allow yourself to release tension, as you consciously relax your body.

(You can do this for as little as a single minute, you can quietly breath calmly for longer stretches, and you can pause and create calm multiple times in your day.)

3. Try using the Discovery Dozen™ exercise.

If you have my book, you are familiar with this great tool, that can be used in many ways.

The Discovery Dozen structure is simple. It begins with creating a fill-in-the-blank sentence. You then complete the sentence 12 times, each time with a different ending. The key is to write quickly and not edit yourself.

Try this one.

First jot down a challenging emotion you identified (or pick one, if several came up for you). Now you are ready to construct your Discovery Dozen sentence. Write it at the top of the page:

To find my strength in spite of feeling [your emotion], I ____________ .

Quickly complete that sentence 12 times. (You can number 1 through 12 down the side of the page to make it easy to write quickly without pausing to count.)

For example, your completed sentences might say:

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remind myself of times I bravely stood up for myself.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remember I am not in danger right now.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I will find organizations to support, to help others.

You can make more Discovery Dozen sentences, to explore other dimensions of strength. Consider these possibilities:

I feel strong when _____________ .

When I feel strong I can/ I know/ _____________ .

To help others feel strong I can _____________ .

And feel free to make your own Discovery Dozen sentences, to both explore questions and generate ideas.

Couple strength with love

Strength takes many forms — some obvious, some bold, some subtle.

Your Discovery Dozen sentences may have illuminated many kinds of strength, that can be leveraged in many ways.

And when strength is matched with love, the impact can be astounding.

If we all support ourselves and each other with love and strength we can have more impact that you might imagine.

We can believe in the power of each person to hold, share, and send love.

We can commit to taking action — in many forms — rather than sitting by in distress. (One great idea is to make purchases of digital products from Ukrainian artists on Etsy, or tell them not to fulfill tangle product orders and keep the funds. Etsy is not charging Ukrainian artists service fees.)

We can hold the highest energetic vibration of love and send it to those in need of support anywhere on the globe, and those working to broker peace.

We can pray together, believing in the forces of love, light, and courage, and that this collective energetic force can impact the course of the conflict.

In these ways we can contribute to better outcomes, as we also support our own wellbeing.

When we stay strong and keep loving. we can help to create a better world.

Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

What are you celebrating now?

Celebrating my birthday with my father was especially sweet!

Last week was special for me. I spent a wonderful week of vacation in New York. I celebrated my birthday, and the side trip I took to spend my birthday with my father made it extra-special!

I savored visits to museums. I saw art that lit me up. I walked and explored. I ate lovely meals and met up with a few wonderful friends. I saw a tour de force of theater I will not soon forget.

It was a week of celebration.

I celebrated the life I have created and am able to vibrantly live.

I celebrated the magnificence of art and creative expression I saw each day.

I celebrated the abundant beauty of Central Park ablaze in autumn color.

I celebrated being able to be safely in the world (thank you, New York, for requiring proof of vaccination to enter museums, theaters and restaurants).

I celebrated love — the love of my sweetheart, my family, dear friends, and kind strangers.

What are you celebrating now?

Every day offers us the opportunity to celebrate — to be filled with gratitude and love.

No matter what has happened in the past, everything you have experienced has brought you to today. Can you celebrate the person you are, the wisdom and insight you have gained, your bravery, your commitment, your contributions? Can you celebrate who you are becoming — informed by all of your past?

Can you celebrate the people in your life? Can you reflect back to them all you see that is celebration-worthy (even the smallest attributes and actions, that they may not be aware of or acknowledge)?

Can you celebrate the magic of creation — all that you create in the world, and all the inspiring creation around you? Consider what people create that delights you and supports your wellbeing. And consider the splendid creation of the natural world around you.

Let’s all celebrate together

When you slow down and bring your awareness to all that you can celebrate each and every day, you will be endlessly fueled with inspiration.

You will feel more alive, more excited, more fully authentic, and more connected to others.

You will be filled with love — for yourself and everyone around you.

This, in turns, inspires more love and spreads love far and wide.

I believe in the power of that love. We can all celebrate it with a whole heart!

Let’s live big together — today and every day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.