Break Routine, Embrace New Growth

It’s always easy to stay in your comfort zone. It feels safe — and comfortable.

Staying in your comfort zone related to work and career can look like not requesting or applying for an opportunity that will stretch or challenge you. Or it might look like tolerating something such as a toxic culture, or being undervalued.

Your relationship comfort zone might look like not reaching out to connect with someone for fear of rejection. It could mean staying in a relationship with someone who is chronically inconsiderate because you have become dependent on that person or cannot fathom ending the relationship. It could be feeling disappointment or unhappiness with someone over a long period of time, and staying quiet, because you don’t want to — or know how to — have a difficult conversation.

Your comfort zone might keep you staying in a location in spite of drawbacks, because you feel scared to make a change.

It may have been recommended, or you may have a desire to take care of your health in a particular way, and you’ve resisted. Or you may love the idea of trying something new and challenging, such as running a 5K or learning to play a new sport, and instead you sit it out because you don't want to try and fail.

You may have thought about learning something new, like playing an instrument, speaking a new language, or taking a course in a subject that fascinates you, but didn’t move forward because it felt daunting, or you did not want to change your routine to fit it in.

Routines and structures that are familiar feel comfortable. That can be fine in many cases.

And there are other cases where you pay a price for staying comfortable.

Always staying in your comfort zone is a trap 

While you can draw on past experience when you stay in your comfort zone, when you always do things the same way in spite of feeling a desire for something new or different (or even having a solid reason to make a change), or you resist doing something you have been curious about or desired, your complacency takes a toll.

You miss out on a lot: growth, progress, possibilities, discoveries, expansion.

And your comfort zone — that can grow when you try new things, learn new things, dare to test and explore, open yourself to new experiences — will not have the opportunity to expand!

Choose one way to expand your comfort zone

Start by observing yourself today. What shows up that’s related to staying in your comfort zone?

Maybe you will notice that

• you are in a rut about your lunch routine

• you stay quiet when a part of you wants to speak up

• you feel excited about an idea and then talk yourself out of pursing it

• you shop for a blouse and pick a style or color that you always choose

• you spend your evening like you always do, even though it’s a bit boring

• you skipped taking a long bike ride with a friend and did extra work instead

When you have observed one or more ways you stayed comfortable or safe, choose one thing on your list to begin to strive to change.

I suggest you consider the least intimidating thing on your list, and make that small thing your focus for bringing a bit of change into your day tomorrow.

Don’t go for making a huge change all at once.

The idea is to start with stretching a little bit beyond your comfort zone at the start, so you can appreciate yourself for a successful effort.

Then take that farther, or bring another thing on your list into your focus for making a small change.

And celebrate yourself for each effort you make!

Remember that when you try something new and it does not go as you’d hoped, or it takes continued practice to achieve, you can make adjustments to your approach. You can get help. Or you can put that aside, try something else on your list, and come back to it.

In time you will be able to take on bolder efforts.

See what happens as you bring change to one way you have stayed in your comfort zone each week, and as you continue to do that for a while.

As you reap the benefits, you are sure to enjoy the process.

You are also likely to see that you will naturally feel good about taking on new things and making bigger changes. And your confidence and self-trust will grow.

That’s a wonderful way to live big! 

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.

How to Build the Future You Desire, One Step at a Time

I invite you to dream a bit. Right now, right where you are.

Close your eyes for a minute or two and imagine being the best version of you in a year — or 5 years — from now.

Dare to dream big, as you imagine what that version of you will look like.

Imagine waking up each day, and how you will show up in the world.

Maybe you will be leading at a higher level. 

Maybe you will be bolder, more confident.

Maybe you will make a big change — in location, in a relationship, in the field in which you work.

Maybe you will be creating something new and amazing.

Dreams can excite you and challenge you 

Quickly jot down the vision you imagined.

Then breathe and feel the emotions that have surfaced.

I venture to guess that the vision you imagined may feel both exciting and daunting.

After all, when we dare to dream big, a part of us tends to step in and say things like:

• Who are you to dream that big?

• That idea is way too scary!

• You can’t do that! 

• You can’t be that kind of person!

• You don't know how to do that thing!
  
  

What will you choose?

It is easy to shy away from big dreams. It feels safe to stay the same.

You know the status quo, even if there are aspects of who you are now and what you do now that you wish were different.

And, its important to know that living a static life, while it may feel comfortable, takes a toll.

• When you tolerate stress…

• When you stay in a situation that is less than satisfying…

• When you fail to try things that your heart yearns to experience… 

• When you stay quiet in spite of knowing there is more of you to show the world…

you stay in a state of being that’s a smaller version of who you truly are.

I know this from personal experience. I lived a very small version of my true self for decades.

What I learned, when I dared to dream big and begin to make small changes, changed my life!

As I slowly stepped into being a more fully expressed, confident woman, I was able to slowly let go of beliefs that had relentlessly dogged me — that I was not good enough or capable enough to do big new things. That I could show up authentically and feel secure in who I was. That I would be able to discover and pursue new and meaningful work and ways of living.

I learned to believe in myself. I learned to connect to my heart and I heard what it was asking me to try and be and do.

And I dared to begin to test out new ways of showing up — and kept going.

Hold your big vision! 

Staying the same means you miss out on tremendous possibilities, great satisfaction, and knowing that you are making the most of your one precious life.

Not only that, staying the same means the world misses out on receiving all that the big, fully expressed version of you has to contribute. We miss out on your genius!

I invite you to hold your vision with reverence.

Type it out, edit it to be full and vivid.

And read it every day — when you wake up and before you go to bed. 

Then, as you start each morning, think about one tiny step you can take to move toward the vision that you conjured. 

Each day holds great opportunities for you to do something just outside of your comfort zone, like:

• showing up with more authenticity

• sharing an idea you have held back on

• proposing a small change

• reaching out and inviting someone into a conversation

• creating simply for the joy it brings you

These small, consistent kinds of actions will move you forward, in ways that will compound over time.

Why not take a tiny step in the direction of your dream now?

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.