Are you settling or choosing (the people in your life)?

During the long holiday weekend I had time to explore a topic that’s been showing up a lot.

I hope this longer-than-usual post will spark some fresh ideas for you.

With Thanksgiving behind us and looking ahead to upcoming holiday gatherings, why not think about the people with whom you spend time?

Who is in your close circle?

Most of us have a close set of relationships, and the people with whom we spend most of our time — in our immediate and extended families, in our professional settings, and with friends and neighbors — is relatively limited.

Those with whom we have regular contact are typically ongoing relationships, and new people only occasionally move into our sphere.

If you are fortunate, the people in that close sphere are supportive, positive and lovely to be with.

If you find yourself in family and/or work settings with people who do not make you feel happy, or with whom you wish there was more meaningful connection, you may long for new people in your life who are more fun to be with, more kind, or more interesting to be around.

What many of us do not consider is that we can consciously choose to be in relationship with people who inspire and light us up — to augment our great relationships, and to balance out more challenging relationships when those need to be sustained.

My path to more connections

My circle of close connections was small for many years. In my 30s and 40s, it was rare for me to make new close personal friends or meet other business people with whom I could engage at a meaningful, personal level.

There were fewer professional or networking organizations then, and very few where I found connections with the depth I was seeking.

Happily, that changed — and in ways I was not expecting.

I have had the good fortune to have connected to remarkable people beyond those in my immediate circles in the last 20 years.

And in the last 3 years the new connections have been especially exciting!

When I first joined The Boston Club (when I owned my first business), I was thrilled to meet so many smart, interesting women with whom I was able to make meaningful connections — both professionally and personally. In fact, that’s where I met some of the women I now count among my closest friends.

And in the work I’ve been doing with my coach for the last three years, I am part of a remarkable group of leaders who all do bold, exciting work in the world. They not only inspire me, they are there to support me — whether I am creating something new or dealing with something challenging.

Inspiring relationships catalyze big new ideas

The enriching relationships I now enjoy inspired me to shape two ways to provide deep connection, support, and inspiration for my clients.

In my Live Big Live! program women come together and find clarity for their vision of the near future, and then make a plan for how they will live into that vision. The impact of the shared group experience is always wonderful to witness as exciting breakthroughs are achieved.

And a number of clients opt for ongoing coaching support in a close-knit group. This helps them achieve true creative mastery in and of their lives.

In addition to wonderful ways they connect with one another virtually, I have longed to bring these women together in person for a deep immersive experience — and it was finally safe to do that this fall.

The weekend before Thanksgiving I took them on our first Creation Vacation together! At our long weekend retreat in the Berkshires we deeply explored play and creation. We shared adventures and heart-expanding conversations. (Scroll down to see a few photos of the fun.)

The weekend provided a magical way for everyone to experience being with other women who light them up, who see them in ways they cannot see themselves, who are there to celebrate with them, and also available to provide support without judgement.

Time and again I have seen that when any of the women in a close group like this experiences an “aha moment”, a breakthrough, or they share a success, everyone else feels inspired and excited to bring her gifts forward.

And when someone in the group is navigating something tricky (or going through something really tough), the others are there to offer support. The same is available in return to each when she needs it.

You can choose to be with more great people

You get to actively seek out and choose great people to bring into your life.

Ask yourself who you want to connect to.

Do you want new professional connections — in your current field or in a field you are eager to explore? Do you want to connect to leaders you can learn from, to mentors, to role models? Do you want more peer connections with people who are willing to be open, vulnerable and share serious ideas?

Perhaps you want to meet new people with whom you can pursue a favorite activity — a hobby, a passion, or a particular interest.

Maybe you yearn for new personal relationships — to have more close friends, to find a romantic partner, to support a child or adolescent on their path to maturity, or connect to someone from a different culture.

When you have that awareness it will be easier to think about where to look for those people.

The magic of meaningful connections

Once you have the joy of special new connections in your life, the impact will touch everything you do.

New ideas and enthusiasm will show up. New energy will be palpable. You may surprise yourself by taking action in ways you cannot envision today.

Will things like this happen instantly? Will everything be easy and pleasurable?

Of course not.

But you will have more new ideas, more positive experiences, and more support for everything you do.

And who knows? You may well be a catalyst to initiate another circle of connections, where others can connect in special, life-changing ways.

And, here are a few photos taken at Creation Vacation:

WE CREATED PLAYFULLY…

we went on an evening adventure…

we tackled puzzles…

and we created in the kitchen!