Crafting your life with purpose

We each choose the life we live. And we get to choose each day.

No matter what is happening we have choices. And we have the opportunity to create.

When my family recently faced the loss of my father, coupled with the sudden illness of one of my sisters, who was in a coma for weeks, it was overwhelming to process all of the emotion and move through everything that needed to be done. Life can sometimes suddenly throw a lot at you.

And even in extreme moments and circumstances, we each get to choose how to respond.

Do you crumble — for a little while or an extended period of time? Do you reach out for help? Do you turn to someone you trust as a sounding board? Do you assess and reassess as you move ahead? Do you pay attention to what you need and try and get it (sleep, food, peace and quiet)? Do you find gratitude even in the midst of pain? 

Many of us miss the opportunity to make conscious choices each day.

Even on an “ordinary day,” no matter how things are going, you get to choose the lens through which to look at circumstances and events.

What are you choosing?

If your day is full of delight, you can choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make. 

If today is less than stellar, you can also choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make.

When you choose gratitude, love, generosity, possibility and optimism, everything you do is infused with uplifting energy.

When you choose to create each response, each idea, and each next step to take with that positive uplifting energy, you choose your life.

That’s the key to moving through challenges with more ease, and how you can elevate and accelerate the things that are going well.

When things feel daunting try these 3 steps

Try using this simple process whenever you feel stuck in a low frame of mind:

1. Pause to sit and breathe.

2. Consider the situation.

Take a calm, clear look at what is happening. Can you assess the situation with a broader perspective than when you sat down? 

3. Make a conscious choice.

Choose the response you want to bring to this time.

Feel into your heart and find gratitude. Find love. Think about how you might be generous — to someone else, and to yourself.

Generate as much optimism as possible.

Then consider possibilities for actions, responses, solutions.

Choose to bring as much positive energy into your next step as possible.

As you make choices with intention, you create your best life.

Last week I chose to attend a retreat with my amazing coach and a stellar group of people doing fabulous work in the world. This is the view that greeted me each day. The energy and inspiration of the experience created marvelous fuel for my spirit. 

I’ve created two amazing retreats that are coming up this year. One may be perfect for you to find inspiration to live your biggest life. Email me if you are curious!

Empower your future with these key questions

What are your answers to these questions:

• Are you looking for inspiration?

• Do you know what you really want?

• Do you yearn to feel more alive and excited about your life?

• Have you thought about shaping a clear vision of your future — a future that feels satisfying and promising? 

Considerations like these may be front and center for you. Or, like many women pushing through their days, you may not have paused to think about them in some time (if ever).

I believe these are important questions. I believe that we all deserve to be clear, to feel inspired, to be excited, and to envision the lives we want to live — now and in the future.

I also believe that we all can live inspired, fulfilling lives that are built on realizing our deep desires.

So why is it that so many women I speak to find it challenging to answer some or all of these questions?

Most of us play it safe

It’s easy to live each day and not take the time to think seriously. Feeling deserving to set aside time for ourselves, for self-care of any kind — including self-reflection — is a factor that stands in the way for many women.

And many women find questions like these uncomfortable. Some tell me they feel bewildered about how to look inside for answers.

Whatever the reason, it can often feel easier not to consider questions like these. It may seem safer to simply live from day-to-day without intentionally charting a course that is rooted in your heart.

Here’s how to begin stepping into clarity

If you are looking for small first steps you can take to bring answers to light, try some of these approaches.

Here are a few ideas for finding inspiration

Make a quick list of things you really enjoy doing, such as taking leisurely walks with friends, exploring new places, trying exotic foods, collecting something that fascinates you, learning new things. Write quickly and list at least 12 things.

Look at your list, and star the two or three that are most appealing. Then make a date to do them. When you take that action, note the way you feel. See if you can sustain that energy — by doing more of the same things, or engaging in other things on your list.

Here are a few ideas to pinpoint what you want

Sit quietly and think about what you want in the moment. It might be a flavor you want to taste. It might be an experience you long for. Getting in touch with your desires in the moment helps you tune in to your heart and pay attention. Repeat this for a few days and see what shows up.

To build on that, sit with someone close to you and have them ask you what you want — over and over. Give it time, and let yourself go deep. After 5 minutes being asked and answering that question, switch places and ask the other person what they want. Ask again and again. Acknowledge what they share. When you have each taken a turn, reflect on how it felt to have been asked, and to listen to the other person’s answers, and talk about what showed up for each of you.

Here are a few ideas for building energy and feeling more excited each day

Similar to seeking inspiration, think about what makes you feel full of energy and excited. Some people love activities that are fast, to get their blood pumping. Some find they are filled with energy and excitement in quiet places, like in a great museum. Some like to be in crowds at concerts, while others find star-gazing with a great telescope lights them up. Whatever it is for you, (and there may be multiple ways), plan to bring that kind of experience into you life soon — and do it as often as you can.

Here are ideas for starting to shape a vision for the future

Once you have moved through exploring the first 3 ideas, you will be well-positioned to consider your vision for the future — which may be something near-term or longer-term.

Tap into the inspiration, the desires you identified, and the kind of energy and excitement you have started cultivating. Then think about how you can imagine various aspects of your life when all of that energy is part of it.

Start by considering your relationships. Then move on to imagining your work life. How about the environment you surround yourself with? What kind of environment would support you to feel great? Next, think about how you imagine your health and wellbeing, as you live a life that you love.

Imagine what all of that could look. Paint a picture in your mind. You might want to write descriptions, or create a vision board to flesh it out and hold a clear vision. 

Start with one small step today!

If you want to begin activating more energy and finding more clarity in your life, start small.

Commit to one small effort now, and do it soon.

Yup, you will be off and running!

Check in with yourself. If it was great, keep going. If it was not all you expected, try something new. And continue!

As you experiment and make discoveries that feel satisfying and meaningful, extend your efforts.

Know that you are building awareness along with energy, and that your desires will evolve over time. That’s the beauty of actively living with awareness — you get to have new experiences and learn new things, and all of that helps you to shape a vision full of energy to fuel your life in wonderful ways.

Know, too, that while starting is the key, significant change takes consistent awareness and effort. 

If you are curious about having guidance to make each step easy to take, and to accelerate your progress, I’d be happy to tell you about a powerful program that’s only offered one a year and that will be starting soon.

It has helped dozens of great women find their clarity and step into making their fabulous visions their reality.

To see if it’s a fit for you, email me. We can hop on a quick (free) call.

What does “commitment” mean to you?

Maybe you are a bit of a word nerd like I am.

The word “commitment” comes up in my life and my work with clients remarkably often, so I decided to took a look at the definition.

Here’s how the Cambridge Dictionary defines “commitment”:

• a promise or firm decision to do something

• willingness to give your time and energy to a job, activity, or something that you believe in

• something that you must do or deal with that takes your time

This is a powerful word, and one I do not take lightly.

A promise is something serious and sacred. 

A firm decision is not always easy to make, but when you do make one it’s a big deal.

Willingness entails embracing the unknown and engaging in the work to make your decision become a reality.

And the process nearly always takes time.

We juggle lots of commitments

The accomplished women I work with are typically loaded with commitments.

They do work that is important and often demanding.

Most have families that entail commitments.

Many volunteer in a range of ways. 

And many want to make (or try and keep) commitments to themselves. They aim to focus on self-care, or passion projects, or more space for joy, and many find those commitments at the bottom of the list.

What true commitment looks like.

Every commitment is a promise, and there are only so many promises we can make and keep.

The key is to choose your commitments based on what is really important to you, and what is realistic for you now — so you can keep the promises. 

Choosing your commitments with care is the key to seeing them through.

The commitments you make will vary in size. The mix has to add up to what you can not only do, but do with joy.

Here are some examples of commitments I have witnessed that may inspire you.

1. Finding a new direction

More than one client I’ve worked with realized that burnout was taking a toll that was intolerable. The first commitment each made was to find a new path that would be fulfilling and sustainable — both personally and financially. Next came a willingness to embark on creating something new. Learning curves were daunting at times. Determination, patience and support were needed to launch new consulting practices. The outcomes have been tremendous for all of them.

2. Creating what their hearts desire

Two clients are leaders with demanding roles, in positions they care about and are great at. And, both have a deep passion (and talent!) for work that is quite different from their “day jobs”. Both are committed to nurturing and building the businesses they are truly passionate about. It entails careful decision-making and focus, as they honor what they truly love and plan to transition to consulting for their organizations. They will then make the work they are deeply passionate about their primary professional focus.

3. Reshaping work and life

Several entrepreneurs have realized they want to reshape their businesses to be more fulfilling, sustainable and lucrative. They have committed to getting clear about what they truly want and exploring avenues for change. The decisions are big and the executions need to be carefully and courageously carried out. It is exciting to see them commit to the process and reap the rewards.

Choose your commitments

Consider commitments in many sizes and flavors.

Maybe you want to commit to something small and meaningful, such as getting outdoors to walk every day, rain or shine.

Maybe you want to commit to withdrawing (with kindness) from things you said “Yes” to but realize they are not aligned for you, or you said yes to please someone, or you know it is not realistic for you to follow though with.

Maybe your new commitment will be to gracefully say “No” to anything that will overload you.

After you choose a small new commitment to bring into your life, consider the bigger commitments you long to make.

Don’t be shy.

You, too, can make meaningful new commitments and live your biggest life!

Let’s figure out what you really want

Here’s a question that may sound simple: Do you know what you want?

It’s an important question, but many women consider it in a superficial way.

Knowing what you truly want matters

In the midst of a busy life, it’s rare to take time to ask yourself what you deeply desire.

In the moment, you may want space to think, or to feel calm. You may want something yummy to eat, or feel the desire to connect to someone you miss.

Those desires are meaningful and always worth honoring.

It’s the the desires in your heart that lie deeper — those about which you have awareness and those that may be buried and need to be mined for — that many of us rarely explore.

Those deep desires are the key to creating a future that will be truly fulfilling.

You can learn to explore your deep desires

My life was on autopilot for decades. I had no idea there was another way to live. I took each day as it came, put out fires that flared, made the best decisions I could, and kept going.

It was not until I started working with a brilliant coach that I began making shifts — small at first — that opened up a world of new insight and new ways of being.

I learned to slow down, to tap my heart and listen to my intuition. I was asked great questions I hadn’t ever considered. Answering those questions lead to tremendous new awareness.

Everything I have learned, including my formal training, informs the work I now do with other accomplished women who are at a crossroads, in a transition, or are figuring out what's next.

And it’s a joy to share my approaches with great women.

Here are 3 ways to start finding your answers

1. You can begin slowly and take steady action

If you like to start with small steps, I invite you to order a copy of my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. It’s full of wonderful small practices you can use each day to bring meaningful shifts into your life. (And the book is so lovely that you will want to pick it up often!)

2. Say “Yes” to a workshop experience

I developed a my Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop to help women go deep into their hearts and find their desires and truth — and capture it all visually, so they can stay committed to what they want in their lives.

I led the workshop this past weekend (see the photo below of the amazing boards that were made!) and I am exploring a date to offer the workshop again.

Sign up for my emails to get announcements, and reach out if you want to plan a special workshop for your team or group.

3. Explore what a breakthrough can look like for you

Check out my signature program Live Big Live! The spring retreat is launching soon, so this opportunity may be perfectly timed for you. (And, there are other coaching options, too.)

You can read what many remarkable women have said about their coaching experiences and outcomes, and see what resonates for you.

Self-awareness makes everything possible

All of the suggestions I included above are paths to personal insight that will set the stage for you to gain clarity and experience significant personal growth.

I would love to hear about the future you yearn to create.

And I would be delighted to provide you with new perspectives and insight, to help you gain some self-awareness right away.

Email me, or book a call here.

I look forward to our conversation!

Here are the beautiful, exciting vision boards each woman made at the workshop on Saturday. Each board shines with the clarity that was revealed in our time together!

What decisions are you making now?

When late last year, on a whim, my husband and I planned a month-long winter stay in Paris, I expected to return home, rest up to adjust to the jet lag for a week, and then head out again for another trip (this time to Arizona), that had been booked nearly two years ago.  

And then the universe offered me another opportunity.

It turns out that my coach settled on dates for a winter retreat for the mastermind program I am in, that I’d thought I would have to miss this year. The dates she picked had the retreat starting 4 days after my return from Europe.

My first thought was to skip the retreat.

I figured all the travel (2000 miles west of home this time) would be too much — too much time on planes, too much time away from my home, too much time away from work (this retreat means being off the grid!), after having had too little time to fully catch my breath.

And then I thought some more.

Some things are worth reconsidering

I thought about why I had committed to being in the program, and I thought about all that it does to support me to stretch, to grow, to learn and expand.

I focused on how it supports me to let go of more and more limiting beliefs and to bring deeper levels of insight and awareness to my life. The weekly meetings I attend are great, but the retreat is an especially powerful part of the program.

Doing this work allows me to become more of the woman I know I can and want to be. And in turn, I am able to better lead my clients to become the biggest, best versions of themselves, and create the lives they truly desire.

I was clear: To reap all of those outcomes, I knew I needed to be at the retreat.

And so, rather than focusing on the fatigue and time away, I decided to focus on the gifts of attending the retreat.

The outcomes can amaze you

The gifts of being at the retreat were tremendous!

I shared the experience with the fabulous crew in our program, all wonderful people doing superb work in the world. Led through a carefully designed sequence of exploration that ranged from deeply emotional to expressively fun, we all inspired one another to face the shadows, dive deep, claim our unique gifts, and rise high. 

I have just left the retreat as I am writing this.

I have much to savor and reflect on, and I am filled with exciting new insights and ideas to bring to my clients.

Rather than feeling fatigue, I am fueled!

What lens are you looking through now?

When you consider the life you are living now, what do you see?

Maybe you have suffered a setback. Or you may be figuring out what’s next that will light you up every day. Perhaps you are at a crossroads, or there is a big dream you have tucked away in your heart. Maybe you are stressed and burnt out. Maybe you feel you are meant to do something bigger.

Whatever it is, do you see opportunity or challenge?

I invite you to consider your perspectives, as well as the ways you invest in yourself and the future you desire.

Something bigger is possible

I know it’s easy to settle. It’s easy to drift through life, and let life happen. And that is fine — if it feels satisfying.

I lived that way for a long time, until I discovered there was an opportunity to wake up in my life, and I learned to create what my heart really desired.

I learned about the tremendous power we all have to leverage our innate creativity, to bring more of our greatness into the world and live our biggest, best lives.

I am honored to support to great women who are clear that something better awaits them. I love bringing these accomplished women together and guiding them to experience live-changing expansion.

One client recently marveled that when she thinks back to herself a year ago, she would never have believed the woman she has become. She left a toxic job and is launching a big new venture with confidence and excitement. And what she loves the most is the joy and satisfaction she enjoys in her daily life, that had felt out of reach for years.

You can have support, too. You can be surrounded by people who inspire you and lift you up. You can honor yourself and devote time for your well-being and your growth.

If you feel the call to explore what it can look like for you to embark on a journey of meaningful self-discovery and growth — or if you know you are ready to dive in — let’s connect.

I always welcome a conversation. I invite you to email me, or book a call with me here.

The magic I watched unfold

Have you witnessed magic lately?

I am delighted to say that I have.

Not only has it been magical to be in Paris for nearly 3 weeks, a few days ago I reveled in the joy of witnessing real magic unfold.

This is what I was privileged to see.

A group of remarkable women spent three days with me (virtually) at the winter Live Big Live! retreat, shaping their personal visions. Each faced the doubts and fears that cropped up for her, and each made concrete plans for how she will make her vision real.

The truly exciting thing was seeing how each woman found profound and deep insight about herself as we moved through the retreat.

Their discoveries not only helped them shape their visions clearly, they helped them commit to creating the futures they dream of.

Why the women came to Live Big Live!

Some of the women are launching new businesses, reshaping existing businesses, or envisioning new possibilities for their work. 

Some have recently embarked on a new professional journey. Some are focused on how they will simultaneously pursue two significant interests with ease.

All got clear about what they will do to propel their endeavors forward.

And excitingly, each is now aiming higher than she ever dared before, and each is excited to have a new level of impact.

This ambition is grounded in a solid foundation of belief in all that is possible.

And as each woman mapped out how she will actually make her vision real in the coming months, she was guided to focus on and value more than just her work.

Each is also considering the ways her relationships, her care for her physical health and well-being, attending to an environment that will support her, nurturing her spirit, and considering her legacy will help her enjoy the best quality of life.

The creation I saw unfold

All of the magic I witnessed at the retreat was fueled in significant ways as the women had a big creative experience each day.

(It’s likely, as a reader of my Big Ideas, that you are aware of how strongly I believe in the creative power we all possess, and that I advocate for both expressive creativity — think singing, drawing, writing and lots more — and appreciating and adopting the mindset of a creator.

With the mindset of a creator, you are able to create all day, every day. As you make each decision, and as you consider your response to each new possibility, challenge and opportunity, you stop reacting and are able to generate new ideas for what is possible.)

On each day of Live Big Live! I introduced a specific creative experience to support the focus of our day.

These experiences facilitated deep access to emotion, resulting in new insights and perspectives for all.

And the visual power of everything they expressed was remarkable!

Check out the images below to see some of what emerged.

What are you ready to create now?

If you are thinking about the truly fulfilling life you yearn to live — whether you have had a setback, are at a crossroads, yearn for something to change, or have a burning desire or dream you want to make real — let’s talk about it.

I believe in the power of a great conversation. I can share more about the ways Creative Core Coaching leverages the power of creation, and we can explore whether the next Live Big Live! (or other support) may be a good fit for you.

Whatever the outcome, I will be happy for us to connect. 

I invite you to email me, or find a date on my calendar.

Here are two wonderful collages (each with the front of the collage on the left and the back of the collage next to it), that were created at the Live Big Live retreat last week.

How to connect to your magic and light up your life

Something interesting happens when I mention the title of my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life in a conversation with someone I have just met.

More often than not, people look me in the eye and say, “Oh, I'm not creative.”

I am on a mission to dispel that common belief.

I want to help people understand, and experience, that they are filled with creativity. I also want them to know how powerful their creativity is.

We all came into the world filled with creativity

Yes, creativity is in all of us. It’s a kind of magic we all possess.

When we are small, and given some crayons and paper, we do not fret at a blank page. We do not worry about what to draw. We pick up a color that appeals to us and start making marks.

When I observe my 3-year-old granddaughter as she draws, and ask what she’s drawing, she tells me incredible stories about the scenes (that look to me like excited scribbles).

Whether she is serious and focused, or laughing, she is fully engaged in expressing herself. And it is clear that she loves it.

When we, as adults, tap that creative energy — or expand and accelerate it, for those who do feel creative — we give ourselves a huge gift. We connect to the magic inside.

Creating is not just for “special people”

The opportunities to create are vast.

While many feel intimidated because they think they are not “talented”, I’m here to bust that myth. You do not need to be a virtuoso musician, a great actor, a brilliant writer, or a gifted dancer to create!

All forms of self-expression are terrific.

Do you love to putter in a garden or build in a workshop? Do you like to cook or make things with your hands? Are you a visionary thinker, or love embarking on adventures to explore in nature? Do you like to play with paint or clay?

Any and all of these ways of creating are fantastic.

What happens when you create

When you create in any way with a feeling of curiosity and freedom, when you are able to to play and be surprised, you connect to your desire and something incredible happens.

Your spirit opens.

You get out of your head (where most of us spend most of our time) and connect to your heart and your intuition.

And you make discoveries.

The discovery may be about new ways to produce a result that pleases you. Or you may discover that something you thought you’d enjoy was not that great, and move on to new ways to explore.

The most important discovery?

Connecting to new parts of yourself and experiencing more of who you are.

And when that happens, your expanded, lit-up spirit can show up in other parts of your life.

I witness this phenomenon all the time with my clients. They show up differently at work, and great things happen. They navigate relationships with more insight and less reactivity. They look and feel alive in remarkable ways!

I rejoice with them as they open to and share more and more of their greatness.

You can start today

I invite you to do one thing (or one new thing) today to express yourself.

It may be simple and you may do it for a mere few minutes, but choose one thing and go for it.

Maybe you will share it, or you may choose to have a private experience. Maybe it will be exciting, or comfortable, or perhaps it will feel awkward.

In any case, take a moment to think about how it felt to create.

Consider how it felt to experiment with new flavors rather than following a recipe. Or put a small arrangement of objects on a shelf in a pleasing way. Or pull out an instrument you haven’t played in ages, and your response to the sounds you made.

Then commit to creating in some way again tomorrow.

In time, you will not have to plan to create. You will find your creative spirit showing up all over the place!

The more that you create in these ways, the more you will come to understand the power of creativity to support you to show up fully. In time, this expansive magical feeling can be a regular part of your daily experience.

And it is a game-changer to show up fully in the world.

Do it for yourself, and do it for all of us. We need the gifts, the fully expressed genius, that only you can contribute.

Imagine the impact we will have when we all live big.

(I would be delighted for you to share the ways you love to create, and new ways you bring creativity into your life. And please share the impact it has for you. Leave a comment or email me.)

A simple question can change your life

Questions open our thinking. Of course there are many kinds of questions, and asking them can lead to many kinds of outcomes.

Let’s consider a very simple question, and how powerful the impact can be when we use it.

What if...?

“What if?” never fails to be a good question.

It opens your thinking to considering all sorts of possibilities, and it’s wonderful because it does that without making you feel pressured.

Something I especially love is that “What if?” questions also open the door to broad and creative thinking.

Let’s test a great “What if?” question

You can use the “What if?” question in countless ways, and the answers can be revelatory and wide-ranging.

I especially love this particular “What if?” question, and the many ways it can be extended:

What if you trusted?

Ponder that a moment. This is a big question that is worth turning over in your mind.

Next, move on to considering these variations. See what shows up for you.

What if you trusted yourself?

Can you imagine not second-guessing yourself? Can you envision living with trust in yourself and rather than with doubt? What if you could live without fear of making mistakes, or failing?

What if you trusted your heart?

What would your life be like if you connected to the desires in your heart — what you want — and felt deserving of those desires, and honored them? What if you also honored the passions in your heart?

What if you trusted your intuition?

Of course, that begins with hearing intuitive messages. Many of us hear these whispers (and shouts) and push them aside or override them. What would change if you trusted those nuggets of wisdom?

What if you trusted that you can move forward every day, and adjust and course-correct as needed?

This takes us back to the question of trusting yourself, but gets more specific. Can you imagine being focused and intentional, and also flexible and creative when things do not go as you expected, or new obstacles show up?

What if you trusted that you can get the help you need?

Many of us think we need to do everything ourselves. Many of us think that we are the only ones who can do things well enough, or to meet our own high standards. Many of us feel that soldiering on in spite of struggle is noble, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Can you imagine trusting yourself to find help, to let go of control, and to allow others to support you?

What if you trusted and believed that you have everything you need inside of you?

Can you believe and trust that you hold the answers you seek, and the ability to learn and grow and expand? Can you believe and trust that you are enough — in fact, that you are already perfect?

You may need some help to trust these ideas, and to believe you have that strength.

Can you imagine how having that trust and belief could be significant for you?

What if you trusted the universe?

I know that for many people this is a harder question, and it may feel a bit far out. I believe that we are all supported by forces much bigger than ourselves. You may call it god, divine spirit, the universe, or any of a number of other terms. Or you may think that the concept is nonsense.

I invite you to consider that we hold energy and there are energetic forces that respond to the positive or negative beliefs we hold energetically. In my experience, we get more back of whatever energy we hold and project.

When we trust that there is a universal energy force supporting us as we trust; supporting us when we believe that we are able to powerfully create in our lives; and supporting us when we believe that we can all bring our gifts and our best selves to approach each moment in our lives with agency, we can experience even greater outcomes and have bigger impacts.

Let’s all choose to trust

The collective power of all of us trusting, of all of us bringing our creative energy into our lives, and all of the good we can bring into the world from this solid foundation, is tremendous.

We can help to make this a better world in remarkable ways.

The first circle of impact we can have is with the people closest to us — our family members, friends, and our coworkers, colleagues and clients.

We also impact our communities — our neighbors and people in organizations we are part of. The impact can expand to our towns and cities and wider circles from there.

We may or may not see tangible evidence of this impact. The ripple effects touch people who touch others, and this is how we are the catalyst for meaningful change.

And that change extends to the broader world.

Goodness knows we need to bring as much positive energy as possible now to being a collective force for good, and for bold action in support of peace and justice and safety for all.

Please join me in the intention to unlock all of our creative power, to trust and tap our inner wisdom, and to bring strength to living our biggest, best lives. Those efforts will have a positive impact on those around us, and the impact will expand exponentially.

I deeply trust the potential of our collective efforts. Thank you for joining me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Are you stuck in the judgement trap?

Have you ever stopped to think about how often you judge people and things? (I am sorry to confess that I have been a “judger” most of my life!)

I was recently invited to choose an object within view and spend a few minutes judging it — which was easy for me to do!

The next step was to look at the object again, and this time simply observe it.

Wow, what a difference I experienced the second time I looked.

I have been bringing that experience to mind often, and repeating the exercise. It is especially valuable to bring this to mind when interacting with people.

Each time I realize what a gift I give myself when I choose to observe instead of judge.

Try it out for yourself

Let’s say you look across the room and choose to focus on a lamp.

Sit and stare at it and judge it.

Perhaps you will think about a color or shape that you don't care for. Maybe you will judge the design as poor, or think about materials you don’t care for. Maybe you will judge the person who made it or the person who purchased it.

Now, look again. This time simply observe the lamp.

You are likely to notice things such as how the metal reflects ambient light in an interesting way. Or the surface texture of the base. Or how it adds balance to the composition of things sitting near it. Maybe upon closer observation, the material that the shade is made of will fascinate you, or you will be curious about the origin of the overall design.

Pause and think about it the two experiences. You will likely realize that when observing you felt calmer and it was more pleasant, and that it opened your thinking in new ways compared to what it felt like when you judged.

Can you imagine that a shift from judging people to observing them could be even more revelatory?

What happens when we judge other people

When judging others, we often make assumptions about a person’s motives, or ascribe qualities to them that are off base. What follows is often a loss to both you and the person you judged. It can sometimes be tremendously damaging to one or both parties.

We hurt ourselves when we judge, we can cause hurt to those we judge, and we limit what might be a great connection when we judge as a first impulse.

On the other hand, when we choose to observe people rather than judge, we open to deeper and more significant insights.

By choosing to observe and opting to be open and curious, we are inspired to ask good questions. Asking questions bourn from an observer's curiosity and interest in discovery can reveal truths we would never become aware of if we started with judgement.

This small shift can have a huge impact for you

Since my first experience of judging and then observing, I have been bringing the awareness to many encounters in my orbit. I find it to be most meaningful when I think about people — both those I know well, and new people I meet for the first time.

Each time I observe I notice subtleties and find things to appreciate that were not immediately obvious. Questions often come to mind that result in great information or insights. I reap rich gifts when I observe. And I am relieved not to have the kinds of judgmental thoughts I was so accustomed for so much of my past.

I have also shared this suggestion with a number of clients recently. They report finding this practice to be extremely helpful.

And adopting this way of looking at people and things around you is a practice.

Why not give it a try yourself, and see what happens when you practice enough to make it your new way of viewing and engaging with the world?

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.