Tame your hectic life

So many of us live frantically. Our fast-paced culture celebrates non-stop activity, and the demands of family, work, getting exercise, socializing, and more often overwhelms us.

What to do? How to find peace, a little quiet, some relief from the demands that exhaust us?

Start with the simple practice of considering your calendar and determining not to overfill it. When you consciously decide to keep some open blocks — what I like to call "white space" — on your calendar, you make considered choices about what to say "yes" to and what to defer or skip.

Having been a designer, I know the power and beauty of white space. When a page (either printed or online) is crammed with text and images, it's overwhelming for the reader. By designing in white space, the reader has visual relief, and can take in the content without effort. And, it looks beautiful when there is white space on a page.

When you build white space into your calendar, you are creating space in your life. You can choose to use that time to slow down, take a break, do something good for yourself, or get creative in a way that makes you happy. That white space also gives you time to respond to unexpected opportunities or challenges. And, you will have time for a little surprise to show up in your day. All of these are wonderful things to allow for.

As you look ahead and start committing to meetings, deadlines, appointments, and activities, be mindful of leaving blocks of white space open. Appreciate the beauty of a schedule that is not crowded with commitments. And, then experience the difference it makes.

Try it for a few weeks and see what happens. I predict you will see how a small bit of breathing room can have a big impact on your well-being.

End-of-year thinking

Here we are at the end of October — already a month into the final quarter of the year. For many of us, looking ahead to Halloween, the election, Thanksgiving, and the holiday season in late December, it feels as though this year is wrapping up. It's easy to look ahead and think about taking significant action in our work and lives at the start of the new year.

But we can also consider the 67 days left this year as a big chunk of time — it's over 18% of the year! Why write off so much precious time for making progress with the initiatives you set out for yourself to make headway on in the new year?

Consider what's important to you and how you can use every day with intention. Each day offers the opportunity to take a new step toward what you want to bring into your life. It may be related to your work, the way you spend time with your family, creating healthier ways of living, getting involved in community-centered activities, healing, and enriching a relationship, or anything else that's important to you.

When you live with intention and make the most of every precious day, you live big.

How to deal with a setback

Life is full of ups and downs. We think we can control so much in our lives, and sometimes we can. But, there are times that reality hands us unforeseen challenges. And when that happens, the question is, how do we respond?

Setbacks can show up in many forms. For me in the recent past, I’ve experienced a bit of a health setback that took me by surprise. But you may be facing unexpected challenges that range from a problem at work, to an unexpected issue with a child or parent, to a life interruption caused by mother nature, to a late snag in a big project, to a stalled negotiation, or any number of other scenarios.

When something like this happens, how do you respond? Do you feel panic? Become a bundle of nerves? Worry excessively? Here are 3 ways to think about and work through a challenge you face.

1. Get all of the information you can.

This may mean doing your homework, arranging to get the medical care you need, doing research, considering all of your options, advocating for yourself, and reaching out for help and support. I suggest talking through all of this with someone you trust to listen well and help you find answers — those that are external, and those you need to dig for in yourself.

2. Look at all points of view.

This is something we rarely do. We think things through in our heads and come to a point of view without turning the question around, without considering the way others see the issue, or without asking to find out how someone else would approach a similar challenge. What we think at a given moment is not necessarily the whole truth, or the only way forward. From what angle are you looking at the problem? Where are you focused? What might you be missing if you don't consider many points of view? How can you look at a wider view of the situation? Get curious and bravely look at all the angles and possibilities.

3. Be patient, courageous, persevere, and keep things in perspective.

It is normal to feel fear, anxiety, impatience, and distress when things go awry. And, it’s easy to lose the true perspective of the impact of the setback. It takes trust and patience — with yourself and others — as well as determination and courage, to slow down, attain the information you need, and consider many points of view. By patiently doing that, rather than reacting and rushing forward impulsively, you are more able to find a clear and positive path. You are able to persevere and to do what needs to be done — even when none of this was in your plans.

And, when you find yourself pulling through the challenge — both along the way and when you are on the other side of it — be sure to acknowledge what you accomplished. Savor and celebrate your patience, trust and successes. Don’t rush into whatever is next without appreciating and acknowledging your efforts.

These are basic ways you can coach yourself when life unexpectedly throws obstacles in your path. You may have other ideas about how to find and build resilience. Let me know what you think about it and what has worked for you.

---

If you’re looking for help along this journey, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.

The stories we tell ourselves

I am delighted to say that I have made a great recovery following my surgery in July. This was a challenging life experience, but one that taught me many lessons. I hope that some of what I’ve learned will suggest some fresh thinking for you.

In addition to my recent observations related to the energy expended on physical exertion compared to mental/intellectual activity, I have been thinking about three other lessons I’ve learned or reflected on this summer, and where my pre-conceived, limiting ideas were rooted.

Asking for and receiving help is important.

Even when faced with a health challenge, as I was, it was not easy to reach out for help — and it was sometimes hard to graciously receive help. So, when we are dealing with our everyday lives, with no extenuating circumstances, asking for and accepting help can be an even bigger issue.

I realized several years back that I had trouble asking for help. And accepting help when it was offered did not feel great either. I was stubbornly committed to doing everything myself. Why? It was a family “script” that I had adopted that said there was something wrong with me if I needed help. The script said that I should be able to figure everything out myself — and if I couldn’t or if I struggled, it indicated that I was not smart enough or hadn’t worked hard enough. By the time I realized how much I’d have benefited from reaching out for help sooner, I had suffered much more than I needed to — not to mention having lost opportunities for accomplishing even more. It took some getting used to, but learning this lesson has proven to be very important.

The myth of needing to be a lone warrior is damaging! Asking for help and support carries no shame. And learning to receive help with grace is an significant part of personal growth. I’ve learned to not only give with a full heart, I also ask for help, and receive help with gratitude.

I no longer believe that grinding away at hard work is the key to achieving great outcomes.

This is a common belief in our culture, that emphasizes hard work and long hours. It’s a badge of honor for people to boast about how little sleep they need! So, whether this is a script that is rooted in childhood or not, it’s a story many of us have readily adopted.

What I’ve learned over time, and have realized even more keenly this summer, is that success comes when we work smart more than work hard. What does that mean? When we take care of our precious physical bodies, getting enough rest and nourishment, and when we create time to move (on walks, in a yoga class, swimming, etc.), we work with more focus. When we slow down, think, and stop reacting, we can create the paths forward that are best for us. We actually get more done with less exertion. And, yes, when we also reach out for help so that we focus on the work that only we can do (letting others create systems for us, letting others take on tasks that can be delegated), we work less hard and work smarter. And best of all, we reap the benefit of having energy left to enjoy life apart from our work.

The answers are in each of us.

This lesson has become clearer and clearer over time. Instead of doubting myself, or looking to “experts” for answers, I’ve learned that I hold the answers to my most important questions. This lesson took a long time to learn, and to trust.

It used to feel overwhelming to sort through the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. I was sure that others had figured it all out, if only I could find the right book or the perfect on-line guru. This is not to say that there isn’t a lot to learn from great books and teachers. But I have learned that MY answers to MY deep questions are in me — they always were there, and they always are there. I now know that my creativity is boundless and my internal compass is sure, and I know they guide me wisely. What I needed were good tools to connect me to my intuition and to finding my answers. I needed good people to teach me about the tools and how to use them. (My coach provided both great tools and supportive teaching.) And, I needed to practice using them, to integrate them into the fabric of my life.

---

Do these issues resonate for you?
Do other issues come to mind that connect to stories that limit you?
What have you learned that has been significant to your personal growth?

I’d be glad to hear about the matters that continue to be challenges for you — because we are always on a path of reaching new heights in life, and mastering our challenges is the way that happens.

What if? Why not?

In meeting with a client recently, we talked about what we do when we get stuck, or come to a fork in the road in terms of which ideas to develop. My client said that making two post-it notes, one that says, “What if?” and one that says, “Why not?” have served to inspire great thinking.

So, I started testing it. I’ve found that I love what happens when I have these prompts in front of me — and use them.

I have found that the questions work in a number of ways. “What if?” can stimulate lots of creative possibilities, which is exciting. And, the question can be turned into a challenge for myself — what if I tried something that feels intimidating, or what if I dared to dream bigger? And, “What if?” can make me test the possibilities of things that are not going so well, and consider how I can respond when that’s the case.

“Why not?” is a good way to test my ideas to see if they may be off base, or could be stronger. The question helps me consider the possible downside of an action or approach. It's also a wonderful way to encourage myself — as in, “Why not give it a try?” (And, if I feel resistance, I can explore the root of that response.)

And, right now these questions are helping me focus on a personal matter. I have a date with a surgeon in a couple of weeks and I’ve been trying to get a great deal of work done before then. At the same time, I realize that this is an enormously important time for me to slow down and take care of myself. So, the questions are helping me think about the big picture implications of my decisions in terms of my health.

“What if” I don't make the time to get extra exercise, in order to be as strong and fit as I can be before the surgery? And, “What if” something on my to-do list doesn’t get done and has to wait until I’m able to attend to it in August?

“Why not” decide to simply let myself take it slow for now, so that I will be well rested going into the procedure? “Why not” give myself permision to use the 4 to 6 weeks of recovery for rest, reading, writing and reflection? “Why not” trust that everything will unfold as it’s meant to, and that I will resume my work with more insight, energy, creativity and enthusiasm after this small piece of time? And, the biggest question: “Why not” put myself first when it’s so important?

As many of my readers have heard me espouse, the issue of self-love is enormously important. It is key to opening yourself creatively, and a foundation for living big. Self-care is always essential. Putting ourselves and our wellbeing high on our to-do lists may feel hard to do when we are busy with work, family and friends, volunteer commitments or personal projects. But taking good care of yourself needs to be a priority — even if your don't have a health matter on your mind.

Try using the two questions, “What if?” and “Why not?”. I have found them to be important and useful conversation starters with myself, and I hope that these two simple questions will help you, as well.

How we do anything is how we do everything

I’m a keen observer of how people live:
How we focus — or are scattered.
How we take action — or fearfully avoid it, or procrastinate.
How we create — or eschew expressing ourselves, and/or live reactively.
How we care for ourselves — or put ourselves last, or run ourselves ragged.
How we live with optimism and an abundant mindset — or live with fear as a driver.

Ultimately, how we live can lead us to frustration and limitation, or it can lead us to expanding in our lives — to living big.

At my workshops and when coaching clients in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself recalling some wisdom that I’d heard from my coach, and again from my painting professor while I was on my sabbatical last fall. Its truth has been playing out in front of my eyes.

“How we do anything is how we do everything.”

It may sound odd at first, but consider this example. If you were asked to write a poem about yourself in 3 minutes, as I have asked workshop attendees to do to introduce themselves to one another, would you dive in with a feeling of “ok, here goes!”, or would you be excited to write it, or would you get nervous and worry that you could not do it, or would you fear it wouldn't be good enough? I have seen all of those responses at the start of the exercise — and I have also heard all of the poems and been knocked out by their expressive beauty and eloquence.

Here’s another example. In watching a group work on creating collages to express the ideas that emerged for each in several exercises, some women were especially adept at starting to select images and phrases that appealed to them, and they then moved into composing and gluing down the elements. This entailed clarity, focus and trust as they made decisions and followed through with the project. Others were overwhelmed at the options, pulled out piles of things they liked, then sorted and considered many possibilities before they composed and glued the elements into place. This approach entailed more struggle, and sometimes that kind of struggle diminishes outcomes. Happily, the resulting creations of our project were marvelous, no matter how the process unfolded. Yet the way different people approached the project was very revealing.

Just as a painter has to make endless decisions about the next color to mix, which brush to select to apply the paint, and what gesture or mark they will make on a canvas, we all face making countless decisions each day. Do we feel connected to our intuition and trust it? Are we in a state of flow? Or, is it hard to make each choice? Does it feel physically uncomfortable to be unsure? Do we second-guess ourselves and fret? Does the possibility of making a “mistake” paralyze us?

“How we do anything is how we do everyting.”

Can you reflect and recall the times that you have lived with flow, and when you have struggled?

Here are 3 ways to shift your mindset when you find yourself struggling:

1. Appreciate and compliment yourself (aka build self-love). It's impossible to overstate the importance of self-love. Shower yourself with praise — for your courage, for your efforts, for the results of what you attempt, even if they are not all you wish they were. Remember, great things happen when you take many small steps, so appreciate yourself for taking each step.

2. Talk back to your self-critic. That negative voice in your head is damaging. It sabotages you whenever possible. So, learn to recognize when it shows up, and what form it takes. Does it fill you with doubt? Urge you to procrastinate? Make you feel like an imposter? Make you afraid of failing? When you notice it, you can tell it to leave you alone for a while. (Sadly, it cannot be banished permanently, but it can be managed!) Instead of letting it interfere, tell it you are too busy to listen for the next hour— and then move ahead without that negativity.

3. Take action, even “imperfect action”! When you feel stuck, start by bolstering some healthy self-love, then tell your self-critic to step aside for a while. You’ll find that it’s easier to take action, whatever that action may be. You can make a decision, place a phone call, try something new — any kind of action will move you forward. And, consider taking “imperfect action” — give yourself permission to go for it (whatever “it” may be), knowing that even if it's not perfect, you can take your next best step after this one. Newton’s first law of physics is worth remembering: an object in motion stays in motion. Once you start to take action it's easier to keep going.

It's always worthwhile to reflect on how you operate in your life. Observe yourself and see what shifts for you over time.

The magic of making precious time for yourself

Life certainly gets busy! There are many days when it feels challenging just to make a little time for a calm short lunch break (one where you actually taste and digest healthy food!). On days like that, the idea of taking a short walk to enjoy the glories of spring feels impossible.

Pink blossoms started popping on the tree outside my window today!

What I have learned is that those beautiful days, when the pink blossoms are first popping out, are too good to miss. Even when my to-do list is crammed, I know I will be happier — and will do my work with more attention and enjoyment — if I take that break and get outside to breath fresh air, move my limbs, and appreciaote the magic of nature.

How can you feed your heart today with beauty, movement, and a break from the hurry in your life?

Enhance self-love but treating yourself to small ”goodness“ breaks. You‘ll naturally bring more creativity into your life. Your health will benefit. And, everyone around you (family members and co-workers) will love the energy you share.

Try it. I‘d love to hear how it works for you.

Are you taking inspired action?

I’ve been making big plans of late, and thinking about setting intentions, motivation, making progress and completing projects. Spring is an exciting time to launch new projects that really excite me and that will offer huge value.

Following my fall sabbatical, I was busy developing program proposals that had been requested, starting work with new coaching clients, and writing a major proposal for the book I'd worked on during my sabbatical. (More to follow about the book soon!) Once my proposals were submitted, it was time to look ahead to what I wanted to create in my business — and my life.

I’m never at a loss for ideas that excite me, so I had important decisions to make. I started by thinking about my intentions. Being clear about what I most wanted to do — and why — helped me decide where to put my focus and my attention. It made it easy for me to say “Yes” to some things, and to put other ideas and opportunities on a side burner. The last thing I want to do is “splatter” myself across a lot of projects and be unable to do any of them well. So, while it’s a challenge to say “No” to things that excite me, when I stayed clear about my intensions, and thewhy behind them, I was able to choose the projects I most wanted to make a reality.

Then it was time to take action. That’s where the hard work — but also the fun — began. I’ve been excited to dive in and see my ideas become realities, and I am on track to bring them to completion.

What I’m creating now.
I am happy to be offering some great workshops this spring that are designed to inspire and ignite change. I am excited, too, to be doing several one-on-one artist retreats this season. And, I’m thrilled to be offering a new 6-month coaching group in 2016. In this group, 6 brilliant women will explore what Living Big means to them, and decide how they want to take action to stop living small, navigate a big transition, or create a vision for their future and begin taking confident steps toward it. This will be a journey of significant change, filled with shared love and support. (If this opportunity intrigues you, get in touch with me directly. I’m accepting applications now.)

What is your intention for this new season?
Do you want to get healthier? Show up in a bigger way at work? Improve a key relationship? Bring more inspiration and creative energy into your day-to-day life? Stop over-working and get balance back in your life? Find courage to follow a dream? Make a bold idea a reality? Think carefully, then consider why the desire is strong for you. Knowing that will provide a foundation for taking action and staying motivated.

If you want to talk about what you want to pursue (or what you are sorting out) and how you can start taking inspired action, let me know. I hope that this will be a fulfilling and creative season for you, filled with abundant inspired action.

Early spring Sightings! I am inspired by the new growth that heralds a beautiful new season.

What my art — and making it — is teaching me

A SCULPTURE I RECENTLY  COMPLETED.

Having embarked on a new professional direction after selling my design firm 5 years ago, I dicovered that I loved Intuitive Painting (so much that I became an instructor in that proecess), but that engaging in other personal creative work was a challenge. In time I started writing poetry (as I have always loved words, and that was a comfortable way for me to express ideas and emotions). And, last year I enrolled in a class at Boston's MFA and began sculpting in clay. To my delight, I loved working with my hands and in three dimensions.

On my fall 2015 sabbatical, I took a new big step and enrolled in an abstract painting course at the Corcoran School of the Arts and Design. To say that it was life-changing is not an overstatement. I had a brilliant teacher and wonderful classmates who generously embraced me as a new student, and who all taught me more than I'd have imagined possible in a one-semester course.

Now, I am enrolled at the SMFA in Bosotn, with another brillient painting teacher and inspiring classmates. And, I have continued to study with my sculpting teacher.

All of this art-making takes a lot of time. I wondered, at first, if perhaps I was devoting too much time to this work, as my coaching practice and the programs I offer are so important to me and require so much time and attention. Now that we are four months into 2016, I am taking stock of the decisions I made, and how the balance is working for me.

MY MOST RECENT SCULPTURE, ASSEMBLED QUICKLY AND INTUITIVELY WITH FOUND OBJECTS.

What I have realized is that my creative work is richly rewarding — and it challenges me. In the best moments, I make what I feel tangible in my art. I sometimes find myself in such flow that I completely lose track of time. That is an amazing experience, and one that, happily, I often replicate when engaged in my coaching work.

Other times when I am in the studio, and more often this semester in my painting class, I find myself struggling to connect to my intution, unable to create with ease. I had decided at the start of the semester to deliberately use this painting class to experiment with a wide range of techniques, so that I my painting process can flow. I want to find a way to paint that feels like home for me. So, I am perservering and have started to find more freedom as I paint.

Strikingly, when I am at work outside of either the painting or sculpting studios, I realize that I more naturally look for opportunities to be responsive, intuitive, adaptable and, yes, creative — in recognizing unexpected and intriguing ideas, and in the decisions I make and the actions I take. This fluidity is striking to me, and is leading me in exciting directions. And, the happiness I feel with my work is ever increasing.

I am certain that my descion to devote time to personal creative exploration is paying dividends for me, and I am excited as I contemplate continuing my journey to develop as an artist.

Snowed in, 2016

Last year, on February 2, 2015, we were snowed in big-time. I just came across an email I sent that day, and thought that today’s storm in Boston, while not as crushing, still cancelled schools and played havock with schedules. So I wanted to post it again here, and hope it brightens your day (wherever you are!):

The view from my office window today.

Those of us in Boston, as well as many others across the country, experienced the second big snow storm in the space of a week. By now there is no place to put all the snow! We are trying to dig out, and plows have been laboring to make the roads passable. For people with pets who had to be taken out, or places they had to get to, it was an especially challenging day.

Fortunately, many of us were able to work from home and have a productive day. I certainly appreciated that the power and heat kept things comfortable. I lit some candles and made more than a few cups of tea. And, I set aside a little time to write a poem and listen to an inspiring TED talk by a wonderful Buddhist monk who enlightened me about altruism. Creating always brightens my day, and getting new ideas helps me to bring fresh perspectives to my work. I hope you were able to bring creativity into your day, too.

Wishing you sunny skies, a few days with no precipitation, and inspiration of every kind.

Even when life is busy, make time for yourself!

Now that June is here and spring is in full flush, life gets busier than ever for most of us. The invitations and events can be overwhelming, from graduations to end-of-school-year gatherings and other social events, weddings and organizational program offerings, to Father’s Day and family birthdays (at least this is a big birthday season for our family). And, many of us are busy making summer plans — or anticipating the summer plans we've already put on the calendar. It can sometimes feel like the season will rush past and fall will be here in the blink of an eye.

The antidote to all of that busy-ness is to slow down, to savor every day, to create time for yourself. Make time to breathe. Take time to be quiet. Plan time to walk in nature, sip tea quietly with a friend, get enough sleep, read a beautiful book. Use more of your time to BE, rather than DO so much.

One of the beautiful ways to slow down and make YOU a priority is to create. And that can mean a host of things you might not even think of when you consider the idea of “creating”. Here are some ideas:

• Try carrying a small notebook with you, so you can pull it out and jot down ideas as they pop into your head. Try adding a doodle to embellish your thoughts.
• Snap photos on your phone when you take the time to notice small wonders around you — things you typically rush by without noticing.
• Buy an exotic new fruit or vegetable when you come across something unfamiliar at the market, and try fun ways to incorporate it into your next meal.
• Intentionally take a turn to get lost on your way back from a meeting or outing, and see what you discover.
• Play — in any way you can think of, whether with a child, or a friend, or by yourself.
• Of course, you can write a quick poem about a feeling you have, you can strum a guitar, make a sketch, sing, or dance to music you love.

Any and all creative acts liberate your right brain, providing inspiration, more “aha” moments, new insights, and more quiet inside. I expect you will discover that it’s wonderful to slow down and start creating in small ways.

I wish you a season filled with an abundance of joy with friends and family, as well as quiet, creative time for yourself. I would love to hear about the highlights of your season.

How gratitude super-powers life

We can cultivate states of mind that open us to creativity and enhance our happiness and well-being. That open our heart in beautiful ways. That plug us in to the glories of the world around us.

Focusing on love is one such state of mind. Being at peace, and consciously spreading peace is magnificent. Focusing on the moment we're in — without dwelling on the past or fast-forwarding to the future — calms and centers us. Being joyous keeps us from suffering anxiety and worry when there's no real danger in our midst.

These are all important and powerful forces that we can be mindful of, and that we can make a reality in our day-to-day lives if we focus on them. They let our spirit soar. They set the stage for goodness of all kinds.

I created a little pad of Gratitude sheets that I keep on my desk. It's a great prompt for me to make a list every day.

And, there's something else we can add, that not only amplifies all of that wonderfulness, it accelerates the benefits of those states of being. Gratitude is the extra ingredient that can make life enormously rich and rewarding.

Gratitude tunes us in to small moments of wonder and loveliness — the things that typically go unnoticed as we go through our days. When we take a few minutes each day to jot down 5 things, 10 things, even 12 things for which we're grateful, we are alert to our lives in a new way. And we can rejoice in all there is to feel grateful for. 

When we practice gratitude we are slowing down — slowing down to notice things we can appreciate, and slowing down to note them. We can write that we're grateful for the restored health of someone we love, for the momentary kindness of a stranger, for having a safe place to live, for the inspiration found in a newspaper article, for an insight we gleaned in a conversation, for the taste of something delicious, for the fun of laughing with a friend, for a discovery made on an outing, for the budding of trees and blooming of flowers, for courageously trying something new, for the sweetness of watching a young child at play.

There are endless things for which we can feel gratitude. When we observe those things, and note them as we start our day, before switching off the light at night, or any time and place in between, we are enriching our hearts and connecting to all the sweetness in life. 

In addition to better emotional wellbeing, we have greater vitality when we are grateful. Gratitude enhances our relationships — we are in a kinder state of mind and more empathetic. Science shows that grateful people feel better physically, having fewer aches and pains and sleeping better, and there's even evidence that they have stronger immune systems. We feel better about ourselves and experience less doubt. And, we are more emotionally resilient when the inevitable challenges come up in our lives. 

All of these benefits make life so much sweeter. We can feel so much more open and ready to make the most of our lives. We can be courageous and live creatively in every moment. We can put fear aside and be bold. Gratitude helps us to truly live big.

Details — what we see when we slow down and look closely

I always find it a thrill to see art of many types on visits to museums, galleries, and performances (both near home and when I travel). Happily, my senses have been rewarded in amazing ways the last few months. Culture in Boston is so exciting these days that it’s hard to get to seeing everything one hears about before an exhibition closes or a performance is sold out. But I see as much as I can, and on recent travels the opportunities for enrichment and inspiration have been similarly abundant.

What has been especially interesting to me has been noticing details. When I enter a large gallery and taken in the vista of work on view, I then move to observe the individual pieces. Finally, I take a close look at the surfaces and forms of the art. It’s then that I realize how much there is to see and consider about the creation. These are details we typically miss unless we take the time to slow down and observe closely. And those observations can reveal so much more than our impressions from a few feet back.

What might appear at first to be a simple, solid field of color on a canvas delivers intriguing texture and thoughtfulness about what the artist intended, when you take that close look and think about what you are seeing. A busy field of splattered paint on a Jackson Pollock canvas reveals pattern and color interplay that would be missed without a closer look.

The examples are many. In every case, a closer inspection adds to my insights and responses to the art. Similarly, when I saw the Mark Morris Dance Company perform last week, and carefully pondered the selections of music as well as the dance forms, I had a deeper response to the works. The sweep of impressions can be wonderful, and still, focusing in on details enriches us in new ways.

In our day-to-day lives there are also great insights and things to be seen and felt deeply, when we slow down and observe details with care. Think about driving down a street. We never see as much as when we walk that street. The forms of flowers in a garden, the architectural moments on the edge of a roofline, the way the colors of the facade look in a slant of light, are all part of a blur if we only drive and never take a thoughtful walk, with stops along the way to observe and consider small details.

To be observant in that way, we must take a look at how much we rush through our lives. For many people, the days are so over-scheduled that going slow is hard to imagine. Yet when we do slow down and look closely, what we observe can inspire us in surprising and wonderful ways. It can open our eyes to possibilities or suggest ideas for completely unrelated projects. We are stimulated deeply and can connect that energy to any aspect of our lives.

In our work, and in all of our relationships, the principles can be applied. Much as in a gallery, it takes a bit more time to look for and take in the details and to apply the observations. But when you do the results can be profound. Having deeper, more thoughtful conversations can reap amazing rewards. The details that emerge can be the most valuable when formulating decisions for our next steps. At the office, you might find yourself incorporating more insights into a report or proposal that can elevate your work to new heights.

In our ever-rushed world, there are fabulous opportunities for us when we make a habit of taking the time to take in the details all around us. We can use those observations, those "aha" insights, to enrich our lives — and our world.

What will you see today, when you slow down and take a closer look?

THIS REMARKABLE LARGE TAPESTRY THAT I SAW IN THE COOPER HEWITT MUSEUM IN NEW YORK WAS DESIGNED BY DANISH ARTIST GRETHE SORENSON. WHEN SEEN UP CLOSE, YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE AMAZING WEAVING TECHNIQUE THAT CAPTURES FILM IMAGES SHOT AT NIGHT BY HER HUSBAND, BO HOGVAARD. THE GRADATIONS OF COLOR ARE CREATED USING THREAD "PIXELS" OF RED, GREEN, BLUE, CYAN, MAGENTA, YELLOW, BLACK AND WHITE. THE RESULT IS AN ALMOST PHOTO-REALISTIC REPRODUCTION OF THE IMAGE. 

JASPER JOHNS' "FLAG", AT MOMA NEW YORK IS AN ICONIC WORK, BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE LOOKED CLOSELY TO SEE THE AMAZING TEXTURES AND DETAILS OF NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS EMBEDDED IN THICK ENCAUSTIC PAINT THAT WERE LAYERED ONTO PLYWOOD — OR CONSIDERED THE MEANING IN JOHNS' APPROACH TO CREATING THIS WORK?

SHANIQUE SMITH HAS A REMARKABLE BODY OF WORK ON EXHIBIT AT THE MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS IN BOSTON, TITLED "BRIGHT MATTER". THIS MIXED MEDIA WORK, "SPLENDID", WAS DONE WITH INK, ACRYLIC, FABRIC AND PAPER COLLAGE, RIBBON, YARN AND FOUND OBJECTS, MOUNTED ON A WOOD PANEL. THE IMAPCT IS FANTASTIC WHEN YOU FIRST APPROACH THE WORK, BUT BECOMES EVER MORE FASCINATING WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSELY AT THE DETAILS AND DIMENSIONAL LAYERED ELEMENTS.

THIS PAINTING, BY ROBERT RYNAM AT MOMA IN NEW YORK, AT FIRST APPEARS TO BE A SOLID WHITE CANVAS. WHEN THE OIL ON COTTON SURFACE IS OBSERVED CLOSELY, YOU CAN SEE THE ATTENTION TO TEXTURE AND EDGE THAT THE ARTIST EXPLORED. HE PAINTED "TWIN" WITH THICK PAINT AND STOPPED BEFORE REACHING THE EDGE OF THE CANVAS ON EACH SIDE. THE RAW CANVAS AND EDGE QUALITY TO THE PAINT GIVES THE IMPRESSION OF IT BEING A PIECE OF ROUGH-EDGED CLOTH GLUED ONTO THE SURFACE. RYMAN WAS FASCINATED BY THE TACTILE SURFACE OF PAINT AND RIGOROUSLY EXPLORE MANY EFFECTS BY USING ONLY WHITE PIGMENT ON SQUARE CANVASES.

More than flowers and candy

Prompted by all the talk of Valentine's Day, I sent out an email this afternoon with some of my thoughts about the power of love.

And then I considered my plans for the holiday, and how I wanted to express my love for the man who has been the warmest, brightest light in my life for so many years. Early on, we went with flowers, a nice dinner out, and cards to celebrate. And while it wasn't "original," it was always lovely. For the last decade we have taken a little trip to Vermont around this time each year. It's a precious gift we give ourselves. The time away is wonderful to anticipate, to enjoy while we're there, and to reflect on long after we return. 

Today I wrote poem to tuck into the card I'll bring along for my husband. And, I wanted to write a poem for you, too. I hope you enjoy this small personal creation. Perhaps you'll be inspired to write a poem — or make your own card, or create in some other special way — for those you love dearly. Sharing a special creation that comes from your heart is sure to make this year's celebration extra-special and memorable.

Wishing you a wonderful Valentine's Day!

---

the greatest gift

the gift most precious 
is the love in my heart

for those dearest to me
for all goodness 
for expressers of kindness
for the planet we inhabit
for all who cherish peace
for the generous
the creators
the healers
the teachers

this love has no limit

Truly thankful, every day

Thanksgiving is a few short days away, and my inbox is already full of messages related to the holiday. I love that this moment on the calendar prompts so many people to say how much they appreciate their clients and friends, and to share good wishes.

Thanksgiving is a lovely time to focus on gratitude, as well as the power of gratitude in our lives. I have learned that when I am mindful of gratitude every day of the year my life is enriched.

Beyond my awareness of how fortunate I am to have a wonderful family, that all of my physical needs met, that I am in good health, have so many dear friends and do work that I love, I have come to appreciate much that I used to miss.

Most of us move at warp speed through our days, rarely slowing down to notice the small wonders around us. We miss so many things that we can savor in our routine lives. When I keep a list of 12 things for which I am grateful on a daily basis, I recall many sweet and special moments that would otherwise go unnoticed. My gratitude list often includes things like someone holding open a door when I am carrying packages, or smiling with warmth while standing in a line, or making a helpful suggestion that enhanced my day. It includes the delight I felt watching a flock of birds soar against the sky, or the taste of an especially delicious cup of tea, or the sound of a little child giggling. When I am aware of and reflect on all of the small things that brighten my day I can hold the memories of those moments. And, the positive emotions help me cope with any challenges I may be facing. No matter what, I treasure the beauty and abundance in my life.

Whatever you have planned for Thanksgiving Day I hope you will have many happy moments to savor. I hope, too, that you will consider developing a gratitude practice of your own, to keep the holiday spirit alive every day. It requires slowing down just a little, but I predict that you’ll get a lot back in return.

Forging new identity

If you did not hear or read about my opportunity to partner with painter ZsuZsanna Donnell in a gallery opening at First Friday in SoWa, you may not know that I have formally and publicly shared my poetry for the first time. In a show titled Powerful Pairings, ZsuZsanna’s breathtaking large paintings were all paired with my poems. As people entered the gallery, many asked who was the artist and who the poet. And so I found myself saying, “I am the poet.”

It was an amazing — and surprising — feeling to call myself a poet. This is an identity I never imagined for myself. But, as with many new things I have explored and made a focus in my life in the last few years, a new part of my creative spirit has emerged and taken shape.

I believe that most of us have hidden gifts that are waiting to emerge. I have always loved words, so it’s not really surprising that I started playing with words as a way to channel emotion and express ideas. What is surprising is that it took until this stage in my life to explore the possibility of writing poetry.

What do you love that could be a form of new creative expression — and maybe could become a new dimension of your identity? Whether you’ve always dreamed of writing a novel, keeping a sketchbook, writing song lyrics, becoming a dancer, playing an instrument, being an inventor, building furniture, teaching what you know and love, pursuing a sport, or anything else, I hope you’ll devote a little time for your heart and spirit to explore the possibilities.

And, if you have begun something new and exciting in your life, I’d love for you to share your story.

Does creativity excite you or scare you?

When people ask me about my work and I describe my workshops and my new Creative Drop-ins, I usually get one of two types of responses. Some people hear that at the workshops you spend a day to learn about and experience creativity, and they are excited about the idea of being a part of it. And, they hear about the weekly evening Creative Drop-in sessions for free-flowing creative fun, and are eager to experience it.

Others say, “Oh, that’s not for me!” And, often they add, “I’m not creative.”

Typically, people think they need to be “an artist” or “artistic” to be creative. While my programs employ making art as a way to experience creativity, they also include writing, movement, and discussions about creativity that range from activating creativity when cooking to increasing creativity in the workplace. The emotion that’s surfacing for people who have the second response is usually related to fear. For some of us, the idea of being relaxed and creating freely is intimidating. For some it’s completely unimaginable, and maybe even terrifying.

Why can something as amazing as letting yourself freely create be so frightening? There are many reasons. Maybe some of them are familiar to you, or to someone you know. Here are a few cases to consider.

One woman who came to my workshop a year ago said that when she was in the second grade the nuns told her that she was not creative. She had shut that part of herself down for nearly four decades until she decided to come to a workshop and see what it would feel like to connect to the creativity that I assured her she was born with (as we all are). She has been back since, and has been loving what she experienced and the way it has shifted so many things for her.

One person who attended a workshop is an engineer and had recently been promoted to lead an R&D team. She had never done much creative exploration and felt the time had come to figure out how creativity worked, to be an effective leader. She discovered that her own creativity was brilliant. As well, she found a personal resource that has enriched her life as she has embarked on new and exciting challenges.

One person is a researcher who never had a personal source of creative expression. She always focused solely on her family’s needs in her spare time. After a friend encouraged her to come to a workshop, she struggled to find a creative path that excited her. In time, she realized that spending time in nature and nurturing a garden really delighted her. She (and her family) have worked and played in her 15’ “victory garden” this season, and she is now harvesting the last of the vegetables and flowers they have grown in that lush garden.

I am another case in point. Sadly, as a young child everything I created was severely criticized. I soon felt it was safer not to draw or paint than to risk feeling the shame of being told I should be able to make better pictures. For me, the urge to create was strong enough that I pursued a BFA degree — but in college, and after, my creativity was strictly channeled to designing for clients. I never expressed myself through color, drawing, painting, sculpture, poetry or any other form of personal creativity. I was paralyzed at the thought of creating anything from my own heart until a few years ago when I was invited to attend an Intuitive Painting workshop. In the 2 days I spent at that workshop my life changed! The terror I had always felt evaporated when I had a safe, non-judgemental place to open up and discover that I — and everyone else at the workshop — had enormous creativity that just needed a safe place to emerge. That experience launched me on the path to immersing myself in new educational adventures and training, and to the the work I do now.

A wonderful thing for me has been seeing so many people who have felt nervous about attending a workshop or a Creative Drop-in and yet have decided to come and give it a try. I’m glad to say that nobody has freaked out! Their reactions have ranged from, “That was really ok!” to being delighted and amazed at what it was like to open and express themselves and feel the joy of creating. Most rewarding of all for me has been hearing numerous stories about how the creative experiences have impacted people as they’ve moved through their lives.

If you feel fear or anxiety arise at the thought of creating, you are welcome to get in touch with me. I truly understand that fear, and I would love to help you find the courage to safely and lovingly experience the joy of creating in a way that will feed your heart and your spirit.

Being thoughtful about what we choose

It’s been a while since I have added to my blog. Ideas have been abundant. And, time has not been an issue — there is always time, the same 24 hours in every day, guaranteed. The bottom line is that I chose to do other things, even as my heart yearned to focus its attention on my coaching practice and all the ideas that I want to share.

Why would I choose to do what is contrary to the pull in my heart? Why do so many of us do that and feel the same frustrations?

I have been working on understanding this issue for a long time. Even as I have come to understand it much more clearly, I have not found it easy to change my old patterns.

I have always been interested in and excited about many things. Unlike some people, who only want to go deep into their work or an interest that consumes their attention, I have always been fascinated by and attracted to learn about a wide array of topics. And, in our media-saturated world, it’s become easier than ever to hear about and get involved with interesting activities. It’s easy to watch a new TED talk that someone recommended. Or pick up a new book discussed on NPR. Or get involved with a political race that aligns with my values. Or support a cause championed by someone I care about. Indulging in all of these seemingly small magnets for my attention adds up to an enormous amount of time and diffused focus.

As well, there’s another challenge I have faced for ages — saying “yes” to many requests that are not aligned to the work I want and need to be doing. This is an entrenched habit. It’s been tough for me even to slow down and consider the true scope of requests before making a commitment to take them on. I love helping people who need my skills and seek my participation in projects I believe in. And, I’ve become known as someone who has almost always said “yes”. So, there are lots of requests to be fielded.

Recently, two such projects expanded beyond the scope that I had (loosely) envisioned. And, although I did not want to work on them concurrently, I did not insist on some relevant pacing that would have enabled me do them sequentially. These projects are terrific, meaningful, and have been rewarding, but they have taken a big a toll on me. Sometimes it takes such a moment to see the light.

I have now set new boundaries. I’ve made and announced new decisions. I am being absolutely clear — to myself and to others — that I am no longer accepting projects that take me away from my core work.

And, I am limiting the amount of distraction I am letting into my life on a daily basis. I am slowing down to get more done, with clarity and focus. It feels absolutely terrific.

While my two big projects are not yet wrapped up, I can see the finish line for both. I will be proud and happy when they are complete. And I feel joy to be saying goodbye to doing any more work that does not align with the purpose that matters most to me.

My shoulders feel lighter, as does my heart!

If these issues resonate for you, and you’d like to share your experiences, ways of responding, or questions, I’d be glad to hear from you.

Mother’s Day and Creativity

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, it’s easy to get caught up in the commercial dimensions of the holiday. Flowers, gifts and meals in a restaurant are what it seems to be all about for many people.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that my children and husband make it a special day for me. It’s wonderful to be appreciated by the people closest to me and have them express their love for me. And, it makes me happy to let my mother know that she’s such a special person in my life.

But I’m also thinking about what it is to be a mother — in fact a parent, as my thoughts are not gender-related — and all that entails. (Whether you have biologic children, adopted children, or dote on beloved nieces and nephews, the things I’m thinking about are either actually the same, or metaphorically the same.) And, as someone focused on all aspects of creativity, and helping people to access their creative core and bring creative flow into their lives, I’m thinking about how the stages in the parenting process relate to creativity.

First there’s pregnancy, when a new life is being nurtured. This time includes self-care for the mother, for her well being and so that her nutrition supports the development of a healthy baby. Then there’s labor and giving birth, followed by the love and care of the baby — and guiding that baby through childhood all the way to adulthood. It’s a long road and rarely does anyone travel it without some rough patches along the way.

The birth and nurturing of creativity

With creativity, the conditions need to be right for fertilization — for the germ of an idea to start to develop. The “egg” holds all the possibilities for new a creative expression and those possibilities start in the right brain. That‘s where ideation and intuition operate — and when you allow yourself to be reflective and relaxed those inspiring ideas will come easily.

When inspiration appears it needs to be sparked and connected to a force that fertilizes it. That’s the big moment where you not only become aware of the idea, but actually decide to take steps to put it into action. Otherwise, the creative impulse will fade away and all of its promise will be lost.

You need to nurture creativity, much like in pregnancy. It needs to be given time, good nutrition and attention. Your idea needs continued focus. Maybe you decided to keep a journal. You’ll need to get the journal, think about when you’ll write in it, and if it’s something you’ll keep with you or will leave on your bedside table. Or, maybe you have an idea for a new initiative at work. It will need to be fleshed out and you may realize you’ll need other people’s efforts, too.

Next there’s birth. Labor and delivery can be intense, but that’s the time that this new creative “baby“ will have matured enough to enter the world and need “pushing“ to get out. There’s no turning back now, as you get the idea into action.

And then continued care, feeding and guidance are needed — to get real traction and realization of the possibilities you birthed. Sometimes things will go smoothly, and at other times there will be struggles. Much as we get through toddler tantrums and adolescent challenges, we need to persevere when things are challenging.

But, unlike when we rear a child, not only do we want to see our creative impulses develop and flourish, we want to continually repeat the cycle and continue to create abundantly. We want to create in many ways, to have creativity touch every aspect of our lives. It may well take some time. It often begins by focusing on nurturing one particular way of creating and doing it on a regular basis. Eventually, when creativity is flowing smoothly, it becomes second nature and it’s quite marvelous.

Grown children, mature creativity

I am blessed to have two truly wonderful children, and to now have the joy of seeing the fruits of my parental labor (shared with my fantastic husband). My sons are 19 and 29 and I am extraordinarily proud of the good-hearted, generous, special people they are. I love seeing them share their gifts and hearts in so many amazing ways.

I am similarly delighted to reflect on the ways that sustained creativity — my own, and that of many people with whom I have been privileged to work — can mature in magnificent ways.

I wish you a lovely Mother’s Day, and hope you will be inspired to “mother” your creativity every day.

Marathon Day 2014

For the first time in years I went to cheer on the Boston Marathon runners today. It’s a glorious day, and standing at the 23 mile mark I was amazed by the energy of the runners and delighted by the spirit of the crowd cheering them on.

The sounds alone were fantastic. A tuba and bongo drumming combined with the clangs of countless cow bells and loud whoops and encouragement from the crowd — who stood 3 and 4 deep along route. As I walked along in the direction of the finish line, the crowds got bigger and louder. Many people offered water bottles to the passing runners and a cute little boy held out a bag of orange wedges.

It felt wonderful to share the joy of the event. The resilient people of this city, and visitors from far and wide, needed this great day and made it a great day.

People everywhere wore shirts with statements of strength and support. But one shirt I saw said it all for me — Nothing is Stronger than Love.