A week ago, I shared a powerful day with 8 amazing women at my newest workshop, Dear Future: Getting Ready for What’s Next. Whenever I create a new workshop I am ready for surprises — and I welcome them, even as I know the surprises are sometimes magical and sometimes challenging.
The surprises that showed up with this group were the best kind. Everyone in the room opened her heart and shared in deeply meaningful ways. There were big “aha” moments. There was laughter and relief when someone realized she was not the only with a challenge or fear like her own. There were some tears as tender places were reached while we shared in candid conversations. There was delight at all that was created and the energy that was generated. There was courage and vulnerability. And, there was tremendous generosity during our day together.
When any of us considers the future we want to create, big questions always show up. And big questions can be overwhelming. Not knowing how to begin to figure out what we really want is daunting. Thinking about what can be possible, and how to take steps to initiate moving into a future that will be filled with purpose and satisfaction — and sustain us — can feel intensely challenging. It’s understandable that so many of us stay stuck in the face of these big questions. Or, we drift into changes, rather that intentionally creating the change we want.
What can you do to start creating and realizing a brilliant future when it feels so daunting?
There are a few ingredients you need in order to intentionally move into your future.
1. You need to be willing to embrace the process
When we feel overwhelmed, and when we do not have a clear vision of the future, it’s easy to get stuck. Not knowing how to sort it all out or how to get started on a path to a different future can paralyze us, even when we want to make intentional changes. You need willingness to undertake a process that may call on you to answer big questions, and willingness to begin to take new steps.
Are you willing to get started?
2. You need to believe in yourself
This is belief in your ability to do something new, bold, and in many cases undefined. The ability to truly believe in yourself is rooted in self-love. You must be able to acknowledge yourself for your talents, your skills, and your capacity to embark on creating a future that will fulfill you.
It takes attention to bolster self-love. Start by focusing on feeling deserving of goodness in your life. Make it a priority to take good care of yourself. Steer clear of people-pleasing. Set healthy boundaries. And, look out for all the sneaky ways your self-critic tries to step in and sabotage you — for instance, when you compare yourself to others, when you slip into being a perfectionist, or when you are afraid to try something new for fear of failing.
Check in with yourself. How much do you believe in yourself, and are you ready to you ramp that up?
3. You need commitment
Commitment is where the rubber meets the road. This is the crucial component that must be in place for you to make your great future a reality.
Commitment means doing the work to define where you are now. It entails acknowledging and honoring your emotions, and not letting them derail you. It means taking the time to get to the heart of what you really want (which is harder to do than most of us think!). And, with clarity about what you want, it means taking action — embarking on small but important steps toward creating a new reality that aligns with what you truly want.
Commitment also entails investing in yourself. It means carving out time and space for this focus and effort, for creating a vision, and for initiating the small, purposeful steps that will lead to bigger steps. Commitment also means being willing to be flexible as you find your way. You will likely have to make course corrections as inevitable missteps occur. (Self-love will help you to move forward when setbacks occur!)
And, another way to bring commitment to a process as big and important as creating your vision for the future — and realizing it — is to invest in getting support. DYI appeals to some people, those who like to read up on how to go it alone. But getting help will always accelerate your process and smooth your path.
Help is what will get you through the tough emotional places that come up frequently when embarking on big personal work. If all we needed was to find a perfect strategy and clear tactics to implement, it would be easy to achieve important big personal change. But, our emotions and a host of mindset issues always get in our way. That's why doing work like this is far from easy.
Most people who have achieved great success have learned not to do it all on their own. They invest in coaches and mentors to help them because they know having that support will enable them to more quickly and easily make progress.
I invite you to consider the level of commitment you are ready to bring to creating the future that will bring you satisfaction and joy.
If you are ready to focus on your future and want help on your journey, we can talk about what you desire, where you are now, and how I may be able to support you to realize your fulfilling future. Reach out to me to schedule a conversation.